Oh Stuff it, Weight Watchers

I’m on Weight Watchers. Yeah, I know. I’m not enormous, but I did reach an all-time high in January and frightened myself. And while it wasn’t out of control yet, I realized at the rate I was gaining, I was on a steady climb to be somewhere in the range of 200+ lbs on my 5′ 7” frame by the time I was 35 (I’m 29 now, I know, but you get what I mean – the weight creep was CREEPING ME OUT). Not good.

Anyway, it’s been great, actually. I’m surprised at how little I’ve felt deprived and how much…healthier, if I may be so cliche, I feel. It’s really done wonders for my sleep habits, overall health and even my skin. Great. Whoo hoo.

However, when I went to log my weight this week, this is what I got:

WELL DONE! You’ve recorded a loss this week. That’s great news! However, we notice that you’ve lost more than an average of 2 pounds per week over three or more weeks. This rate is too rapid — it may be unsafe or unhealthy.While we’re proud of your achievements and pleased you’re making changes in your life, we need you to concentrate on one more thing: You should slow the pace of your weight loss to no more than 2 pounds per week.

Seriously, WW, I love you, but you can shove it up your ass. First off, you didn’t warn me about the dangers of rapid WEIGHT GAIN when I packed on five pounds in four days while I was in California (did you know that they have REAL MEXICAN FOOD in California? My ass does now, thank you). Secondly, I had a stomach virus, and for the last 48 hours, I’ve either puked up everything of substance, or managed to keep down a simple meal of (yummy!) saltines and ginger ale. I know it’s not healthy.

Stuff it, like I said.

9 comments May 24th, 2005