Piss and Vinegar
June 15th, 2005
I haven’t exactly *mastered* identifying the signs of irrational PMS, but I’m getting there. Light just dawned on Marblehead, when the following thoughts flashed before me, one louder than the next:
1) I am very upset about the location of my new cubicle in the new building. More annoyed at the location than the fact that I no longer have an actual OFFICE even though I am a freaking manager (we all got cubes. The bastards.) These two facts have almost brought me to tears today – twice. Need I remind you that I AM LEAVING THIS NO-GOOD JOB AND STATE and should not care. And really, I don’t. So why am I crying over my cube? A CUBE. IN A JOB I WILL NOT HAVE IN TWO MONTHS.
2) The salami sandwich I got instead of the turkey low-carb wrap I ordered? DEVASTATING. In fact, I’m still not over it. My diet and ENTIRE LIFE is ruined because of nitrates and preserved meat. Thank you, Corporate Chefs, you dumb fucks. I hope you are force-fed salami until you puke.
3) I’m sitting here STEWING over the fact that my downstairs neighbor used most – no, all – of my Oxyclean. The two of us share a washer/dryer, and I left the tub down there for convenience. I have used it twice. It is now empty. I handled this discovery by gracefully slamming the machines open and shut repeatedly, and by standing in the laundry room, which is conveniently outside her bedroom door and exclaiming very loudly, “Fucking CHRIST. I just bought this tub and now it’s gone because some lazy SOW REFUSES TO BUY HER OWN. You must be fucking kidding me. YOU MUST BE FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU CHEAP PAIN IN THE ASS.”
I need to be institutionalized or medicated. Hurry.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
11 Comments Add your own
1. Kate | June 15th, 2005 at 11:06 pm
Have no institution or drugs to offer, only a big hug. I feel ya. PMS sucks.
2. Barbara from California | June 16th, 2005 at 9:58 am
Can PMS every be rational? If so, I would love to find out how to handle this situation!
You might want to ask your doctor for a dose of Prosac, which has been used to control PMS 10 days prior to your period. It can make a difference in mood swings and disorders.
hugs,
b
3. Jamie | June 16th, 2005 at 10:17 am
Don’t blame PMS. Stolen detergent is just tacky and underhanded. I think you should just walk into their apartment one day and help yourself to a dose of theirs. Say NOTHING, then walk out. Better yet, grab the whole damn thing and just take it back to your apartment.
4. Meegan | June 16th, 2005 at 10:25 am
I know these feelings all too well. I always know when that time of the month is rolling around because I find myself cussing under my breath over everything and then getting teary-eyed over Oreo commercials. Ah, glorious womanhood!
5. mireille | June 16th, 2005 at 10:31 am
Medication. Now. For the safety of your husband and cat. Really.
6. Yesrie | June 16th, 2005 at 11:53 am
Ohhhh, J. Yeah, I never really got very good at identifying PMS; eventually I came to see that when inanimate objects were doing stuff just to piss me off, they were reacting to my hormones :> It was especially difficult for 2 reasons: first, my cycles were fiercely, doggedly erratic my whole life, and second, how to separate PMSing from my baseline ticked-off personality?
Well, thank Gawd only 2 more months of cubicle/corporate chef hell and what, 3 months of protecting your Oxyclean? (I totally would have pitched a fit outside neighbor’s door too.) Get a new tub upstairs and just take what you need in a little Tupperware thing or whatever. Cackle vindictively all the way down the stairs :>
You can always complain to us. (I’m just waiting for July 9, when I will officially cross over into menopause
)
7. Lucia C (aka careerlady) | June 16th, 2005 at 4:46 pm
Do some liquid grapes, for heaven’s sakes. If you can’t medicate with medicine, at least use wine or hard liquor.
And btw, {{{{{{{{{{{{Jonna}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I love you, cube and all.
8. Atreau | June 16th, 2005 at 9:00 pm
(((J)))
Should I rush over with my copy of Spice World?
Have you seen The Cube Action Figures?
http://www.cubefigures.com
9. katiedid | June 17th, 2005 at 3:48 pm
The neighbor using up all the detergent without replacing it? Your reaction’s not PMS, that’s normal. I’d slam doors and holler, too.
10. Laura/kyahgirl | June 20th, 2005 at 12:41 pm
((Jonna))
I know you’re having a miserable day but I can’t help but laugh. You always crack me up.
p.s. Drugs rule.
11. Anonymous | June 21st, 2005 at 10:01 am
{{{{{{{{{ Jonna }}}}}}}}}
It’s not just that she took your detergent, it’s that she *finished* it. Effin’ A!
Anyway, I agree with the ladeez here who recommend drugs for PMS. I take Sarafem, which is Prozac in a pretty little pink and purple capsule, so you know it’s for Us Girls.
:::smirk:::
Mahgwet
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