Fall in Two

I guess I thought it would be easier. I thought she’d be mad at me. Yell at me. Something – anything – other than what she did.

She cried. I didn’t expect it. My volatile, Scorpio sister tried so hard to hold it together, smiling the whole time, insisting that it was what’s best for me, and that objectively she knew that. Until she realized she had to be selfish for a second and consider what we’d both be missing.

She’ll never watch my kids while I run to the grocery store. They won’t know her the way I know her two sons. She won’t be there when they fall down the stairs, or spit up on the floor, or projectile poop all over the room or reach their chubby little arms up to her while glaring at me in revenge, because she’s the pushover.

Because I will be somewhere else. I think she thought it would be different, and so did I. I always did. I remember as a teenager thinking that I would spend the rest of my life here. In my stupid declarations senior year of high school, I said I would be a PR executive and live in Massachusetts. I am and I do.

But I won’t anymore. She thought it would be different.

I did, too. I thought she would yell.

2 comments June 29th, 2005