Tipsy*
August 5th, 2005
Drunken blogging, anyone? HOO BOY! Let me tell you something about my day. All I wanted, all day – the WHOLE DAY, starting at 10 a.m., was a superfly dirty Ketel One martini with extra olives. If those olives could have been stuffed with blue cheese, there would have been an entirely DIFFERENT LEVEL of excitement going on, but alas, the only place I could convince the husband to go for dinner was Victoria’s Station, and apparently blue cheese stuffed olives aren’t on their menu.
It’s okay. I had a few of their regular ones, extra dirty with extra olives, thank you very much. And a giant steak. And I loved every freaking MINUTE OF IT.
So, four martinis later, I have decided that it really is all going to be okay. We’re going to move, and we’re going to make friends and we’re going to survive. And I am GOING to survive living next to my in-laws, even if my mother in law thinks that the stress related to finding a pad for her dog crate is equal to or greater than that of buying a house and moving across the country. (“I know what you mean about the stress. I was up ALL NIGHT trying to think if I should get the one printed with the bones or the teddy bears!”)
I’m guessing you think I’m kidding about the last part, but alas, I am not. It’s a conversation I wish I hadn’t been a part of, but was. She’s really okay, most of the time, but there are moments. Good lord, those moments.
Stop laughing. Or crying. Or whatever. Because like I said, hey! It’s going to be FINE! And you’re thinking, “Wow! She is TOTALLY DRUNK! And DELUSIONAL!”
And right you are, my friend, right you are.
*today’s song and blog title brought to you by J-Kwon. Care to guess any of the others in Hrmph annals?
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
17 Comments Add your own
1. Parisjasmal | August 5th, 2005 at 10:12 pm
Hooray Drunky Drunkerton is feeling good!
Oh and tell your mother in law that the one with the bones is SO LAST YEAR!
I will print your 5 questions tomorrow–so sober up! HA
xoox
Jen
2. Kate | August 5th, 2005 at 10:16 pm
LOL! I wanted a scotch on the rocks so badly the other day I literally dreamed about it! But I didn’t manage to get one. I’m glad you got your martinis, even if without the blue cheese.
I often dream of being in bars, buying a drink, chatting with other barflys, drinking my drink. What does that mean?
I have a feeling it means I just really enjoy hanging out in bars.
3. Atreau | August 6th, 2005 at 4:08 am
Oh J, it’ll be okay perhaps you and your Mother In Law can get matching jogging suits and join clubs together! *snickers*
4. mireille | August 6th, 2005 at 3:18 pm
those would be PASTEL jogging suits. VELOUR PASTEL jogging suits. And I see J’s hair changing again (remember how much fun that was?) … to something in the blue range, tightly curled. HAHAHAHAHAH. just kidding. xoxoxo
5. Barbara From California | August 6th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
LOL…You are too funny.
So you do not feel too bad, people can be totally dillusional without having anything to drink.
xox
b
6. katiedid | August 6th, 2005 at 9:18 pm
Drunk blogging will obviously be the newest craze, now that J has made it seem so alluring and funny.
The move really will be okay. It’s just a wee bit scary, I know.
7. Parisjasmal | August 7th, 2005 at 7:24 am
Rise and shine sleepy britches!
You have been tagged by ParisJasmal!
Here are your 5 questions:
1. You have just been given $5,000.00 to spend frivolously, recklessly, and selfishly. Nothing practical. How do you spend it?
2. You just got hired as an assistant to Clay Aiken( HA) on his new world tour. What is your job description?
3. You are going to Monaco for the whole summer, and you can have ONLY 3 songs in your I-Pod. What are your songs and why did you pick them?
4. Have you always been funny and witty, or is it something that has come with age?
5. Fave movie from your teen years?
OK–the rules are simple. If you want to be tagged/interviewed by Jonna with 5 different questions, then in response to her answers write “please interview me”. You will be asked 5 different questions that you will post on your blog.
Thanks and have a great day.
8. Laura | August 7th, 2005 at 11:22 am
Jonna, eat a greasy and carbohydratey breakfast. All will be well today–and all really will be well once you’ve settled in your new place. Life is change, n’est-ce pas?
9. WinterWheat | August 7th, 2005 at 7:19 pm
Good for you, girl. I’d be right there with you if I could. At least you went blogging instead of Sephoraing this time.
As for your titles:
“I repeat, this ain’t livin’” and “This ain’t livin’” — Marvin Gaye
“Iko iko” — Grateful Dead (but I don’t know who originally wrote it)
“Caring is creepy” — no idea
“Think” — Aretha Franklin
“All apologies” — Nirvana
“She’s an angel” — TMBG
“Drawn to the rhythm” — don’t know; I keep thinking of Grace Jones’ “Slave to the Rhythm”
“Blasphemous rumors” — Depeche Mode
I’m particularly freaked by “Caring is creepy” — is that really a song??
Oh — about your MIL. If you want her off your back, constantly offer her high-calorie snacks when she visits. She’ll find the temptation too great and will stay away. Or she’ll eat, gain weight, and maybe lose some of that hunger-induced nastiness.
10. Trina | August 9th, 2005 at 5:43 am
Here comes the 5 to the 4 to the 3, hands in the air if you’re bloggin’ like me…
Your move will be wonderful! And once it’s over you’ll REALLY have a reason to get tipsy :~D
11. Kristine | August 9th, 2005 at 10:08 am
Yay, drunken blogging!!
12. dreamstorm | August 9th, 2005 at 8:42 pm
LOL I used to drunkenly blog all the time back when I actually kept an online journal. You spell much better than I do and don’t start digressing in the middle of sentences though
Miss Music Maven Kris beat me to half of them up there, but to fill in some spots for her there’s The Shins and Sarah McLachlan too.
Your move will go great J, don’t worry!
13. p | August 10th, 2005 at 12:07 am
hey — think of it this way: at least you can blog about your m.i.l. to your heart’s content under the presumption that she doesn’t frequent your site. that, my drunken blogger, is a luxury.
it seems my inlaws sole source of information/interaction with me is through either mine or one of their blogs.
14. katiedid | August 11th, 2005 at 3:45 am
This has nothing to do with the post at hand, but I thought it worth the trouble of bringing it to your attention:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20050811/en_music_eo/17127
I know you will most certainly appreciate the non-sarcastic use of the words “Kimora’s good name” by her attorney ;P
15. katiedid | August 11th, 2005 at 3:45 am
Gah! That didn’t post correctly! Let’s try tags instead:
Click
16. Kate | August 11th, 2005 at 9:56 am
How’s the move going? Are you still tipsy?
17. Tania | August 12th, 2005 at 4:27 pm
Drunk blogging: not as dangerous as drunk dialing.
Urrr-body in the club get tipsy…
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