What I Am.

This is actually the first time I’ve been tagged. Tiggity tagged by ParisJiggityJasmal.

The rules: if you want to be tagged (is that right? I don’t even know what MEME stands for, other than Mure et Musc Extreme by L’Artisan), simply say ‘interview me’ in the comments, and I will give you five questions to answer, but they will not be the same five questions.

I’m going away for the weekend to a wedding, so don’t expect anything until Monday. And have a nice weekend, y’hear?

1. You have just been given $5,000.00 to spend frivolously, recklessly, and selfishly. Nothing practical. How do you spend it?

I’m traveling. Definitely traveling. I feel guilty spending money on travel, even though the memories of the trips are so much more valuable than anything I could buy with that money. Which I guess makes it not frivolous nor reckless, but it’s something I don’t spend enough money on in my life, and I think something I’ll regret not doing enough of. And I want to go to Greece, Italy and about 100 other countries, but I’ll have to keep it limited. The 5K doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty about missing work, or give me the strength to hop on a trans-Atlantic flight, but it does solve a piece of the cost issue.

I’m so boring, yes? BORING.

I might as well be a Miss America finalist. I’d like to solve world hunger for a thousand, Alex!

Really, other than travel, it would probably be a hell of a lot more exciting, albeit equally cliche, if I ran into Bergdorf Goodman and raided the handbag department. Yes, the handbag department, not fragrance. I’m in that kind of mood.

2. You just got hired as an assistant to Clay Aiken( HA) on his new world tour. What is your job description?

I want to set up the dressing room. You know, make sure he has M&Ms in the right color and everything. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who leaked that kind of information to US Weekly. I’m sure they’d pay me a relatively high amount of money for the inside scoop, right? I could take photos of him and stalk him like the paparazzi, only I’d be someone he knows, so I could get GREAT photos. AND I could report back to all the papers how he likes his dressing rooms all white with various scents of Diptyque candles and insists that I pick out all the brown M&Ms because they remind him of poop.

Ooh ooh, or I could try to seduce him, get rejected, and sell the story to the Mirror about how he’s gay! OR, if I were successful, talk about how he is in bed. With photos. But then I’d have to sleep with him, and that’s just GROSS.

3. You are going to Monaco for the whole summer, and you can have ONLY 3 songs in your I-Pod. What are your songs and why did you pick them?

Christ, this was hard. Music can change my mood, get me through a long flight, and even change the course of my whole day. And yet, strangely, the three that I’m choosing surprise even me.

First of all, I’m embarrassed to admit that my first choice is a Dave Matthews song. I know, it’s not cool to listen to Dave Matthews anymore, given his universal appeal to the fraternity crowd (do I NEED to remind you of the elephant walk?) and the fact that he sold out, in many people’s minds. But fuck it, because honestly, the concept of a sellout is so stupidly lame, for starters. I was never cool, why start now? And I feel compelled to add that I don’t listen to him anymore, but I sure did in college! Who didn’t? And I have fond memories of that time. Lame as it is, the song is from my history – from a day right after I’d graduated college, coming out of depression and was trying to find a job. I was miserable, unsure, unstable and a complete jerk, if I really thought about it.

‘Pig’ is the song. Basically it’s about how every day is a gift, and we’re all greedy assholes for expecting more from every day, when essentially the earth and everything in it is pretty freaking cool. I listened to that when I was depressed and it changed and entire week of my life, and kind of turned me around. I’m not saying that there were other factors, but I’ll always remember those lyrics:

Is this not enough/The blessed sip of life/Is it not enough/Staring down at the ground/Oh then complain and pray for more from above/You greedy little pig

And I realized I was being a selfish ass, and that life was too short to mess around with and waste. I was also 22, and easily affected by the drama of a song, a moment, a breeze. A fact I sorely regret is missing too much from my life now. But listening to that song takes me back there and always makes me happy – and reminds me to quit being so selfish and greedy, open my eyes, and appreciate what I have, even if it’s just a sunny day, a cozy bed or a cold rain.

Second song is ‘Mercy Street’ by Peter Gabriel. Another song from my youth that I adore. No real reason other than it’s my favorite Peter Gabriel song, and I’ve been enamored with him since his early days with Genesis. There are so many good ones to choose from, but this one always touches me in a weird way, even though I can’t relate to much of what it’s about.

Third is ‘Fair’ by Remy Zero. I don’t know why, other than it’s kind of a sexy song, for a sexy country and Cinjun Tate is hot.

4. Have you always been funny and witty, or is it something that has come with age?

First of all, thank you for saying that. Secondly, no, I wasn’t always all that funny. I took myself way too seriously when I was younger, which actually makes me laugh today. Depression will do that to you, though. And then I realized that life is too short to take yourself too seriously.

The thing is, I’m not trying to be funny for the sake of being funny. I genuinely find most of the things I talk about funny, and want to share them with people. Life is FUNNY. People are funny. Every single day, I find something mind-bogglingly hilarious, and at least ten things amusing enough to make me cackle out loud. The day I lose my sense of humor will be the day I die.

5. Fave movie from your teen years?

Oddly, the Four Seasons with Alan Alda and Carol Burnett. A mature choice for a teenager, non? It’s about four couples that are lifelong friends and vacation together throughout each of the four seasons. It’s what I always wanted my life to be like growing up – it made me realize that friendships are still the same, no matter how old you are.

9 comments August 7th, 2005