Life Less Ordinary
September 24th, 2005
I have someone who loves me enough to support me 100% with whatever I choose to do with my life, provided it’s what I really and truly want to do. We’ll make it work.
But what if I can’t? Instead of feeling like freedom, I’m terrified. I’m so selfish and absolutely stupid that I even wonder for one second if this is the best situation in the entire world – It’s just that I’m terrified that I’ll fail to the point where I wonder if it might be better to never try and console myself with the thought that I could have done it if I’d been given the chance. Or to get the chance, try, and fail.
I’m still not sure of exactly what I want to do. I need to weigh the practical and the future with what I want over the long term, and it’s so…overwhelming. In the end, I’ll probably choose something in the middle – half career, half writer. I don’t have the balls to go whole hog just yet, and income would be nice.
The truth is, I don’t even know what I want to do at this moment. Part of me wants to run off and sell perfume at Saks, and bide my time until I have a baby.
Sheesh. I’m a mess. A lucky mess.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
8 Comments Add your own
1. Anonymous | September 25th, 2005 at 2:51 am
Jonna,
I’m in the same situation as you… except I *don’t* have someone like Adam. You *are* lucky. I’m sure things will work themselves out. They tend to.
xox
Ange
2. Kate | September 25th, 2005 at 5:17 pm
I knew that Adam was a good guy!
3. mireille | September 25th, 2005 at 5:49 pm
Choices are terrifying, aren’t they? zockso, baby.
4. whinger | September 26th, 2005 at 12:06 pm
I definitely know how you feel. Partner supports my career choices wholeheartedly. Now, if I could just choose a career….
The problem is that I feel passionately about watching tv and eating chips, and no one seems to want to pay me a decent salary for that.
5. Carol | September 26th, 2005 at 10:23 pm
I’m jealous, but happy for you. I had a million different jobs early on and then I read What Color is Your Parachute? A career assessment book. It’s a lot of work, but TOTALLY worth it.
Take this chance and RUN while you can. Life is so short.
6. Kyahgirl | September 27th, 2005 at 1:43 pm
Adam is a true friend. You’re lucky. (And so is he!)
xo
Laura
7. Anonymous | September 29th, 2005 at 11:22 pm
Go For It. You actually have someone supporting you in your dream of a writing career? Friggin’ amazing and special. You are young, talented, and you can be funny as hell. Do It. That way you won’t have to do the woulda’ coulda’ shoulda’ deal. Good luck.
8. Trina | September 30th, 2005 at 3:10 am
(((J))) Looks lik you, me, and our uteruses are in the same boat! Freedom is some scary shit. So is love.
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