She
January 24th, 2006
In lieu of bringing a baby into this world at the moment, we’ve opted for that little thing you see there. Yes HER. (And that’s me. Ignore the rolls. There’s one of my face as I’m squishing back to avoid the camera that makes me look like Jabba the Hut and I am SO NOT SHOWING THAT, even though she looks perfect in it)
Could she be any cuter? Because the answer is yes, she could be cuter. Like when she rolled over belly-up in my lap and crossed her paws, sighing heavily and falling asleep. That was the moment we said we’d take her. She comes home in two weeks.
She has no name. Well, she had a name. A very nice name. One that we loved. And then we learned that in some parts of the country – well, apparently ALL PARTS – it is a slang term for vagina.
I almost named my dog Vagina. I might as well named her Hootchie.
Her name was Cousy. After Bob Cousy, the legendary Celtics player. Pronounced coo-zie, to be exact. Cooze, for short. If you prefer an alternate definition, we were about to name her “a dirty slut who probably has some diseases.” Wonderful! And what child doesn’t want to be named Dirty Slut?
Thankfully, my friend Laurene and the lovely T-Diddy informed me of my horrificly ignorant error. It would have been embarrassing at Dog Beach when I hollered out her fetid name. I HAD NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE. Forgive me, as I am apparently sheltered and naive. My first job was on a dairy farm, you know. Give me a break.
But seriously? I’m a little scared that I’m going to screw up this dog. I will not pretend that this isn’t Trainer Baby 2.0, and is now the time to admit that I’ve never had a dog? I am getting a TEN WEEK OLD PUPPY, and already, before she even arrives, I am dooming her to a life of humiliation.
I might as well have named her Mulva. Or, as the brilliant Yesrie said, Pudenda.
Oh, and Cappy says it’s not too late to change our minds on the drooling, slobbering beast.
*The Sundays!
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
11 Comments Add your own
1. Trina | January 24th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
SHE is precious! I’m sorry for my part in ruining her name, but I felt duty-bound to warn you. And BTW – Cappy looks *so* thrilled at the prospect of a puppy in the house…
2. Whinger | January 24th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Ummmm…where is she now? Because I think I should just run by.
And definitely NOT puppy-nap her. Love the tuxedoed animals.
I also did not know about the vaginal reference and am quite shocked. You could always go with Delores and just invite the childhood taunts.
3. Parisjasmal | January 25th, 2006 at 7:17 am
Awwww I love her. She and Snapper will match! I love Snapper too. I love the Celtics and I think Cooze is perfect. After all I am called Peej and in some parts of the world that literally means Bastard!
Congrats on the new fur baby!
4. Jamie | January 25th, 2006 at 8:47 am
Good GOD, Jonna, that is one cute pup. Check this site for great dog stuff.
Additionally, if you ever want her to be socialized by a lazy, spastic, mixed breed, give me a call. Doc and I will come down to FL in a jiffy.
5. Yesrie | January 25th, 2006 at 9:08 am
“It would have been embarrassing at Dog Beach” – OH yes. More embarassing even than my apartment complex parking lot, on an inky October night, when I suspected my (black) cat Moon had gotten outside.
I’ll support you fully in whatever name you choose for Trainer Baby 2 (bwaaahaha!). But just so you know, she’ll always be Doña Pu to me.
6. Sian | January 25th, 2006 at 11:36 am
I WANT HER!!!!! How cute is that face? Utterly adorable dog. I did not think a Boston Terrier would be a cute thing (I am not familiar with the breed and I’m not keen on terrier) but apparently, it is. She is. She’s gorgeous.
7. Karen | January 25th, 2006 at 11:36 am
I’m dying that you almost named her another word for Bagina (my preferred pronunciation).
That is priceless.
But she is simply beyond-believe adorable. I know you’ve been wanting to get a pup–she is perfect! I *so* wish we could know what Lucy looked like as a puppy (she was about 3 when we adopted her)…you guys will have lots of fun with this puppy. And yeah, I think a puppy will be better training for a baby than a full-grown dog. Congrats, J! xo
8. Whinger | January 25th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
Please name her Gert. Or Gerta. She would love that.
Or not.
9. winterwheat | January 26th, 2006 at 10:50 am
I’m dying here. DYING. Is she a Boston terrier? I told G that our next dog will be a BT. I am in LOVE with BT puppies. I am in love with her. PLEASE continue to post pics and let us know as soon as you name her. (BTs are clownish — name her Shemp.)
Know what’s sad? G and I have to work ourselves up into a state of excitement over our daughter-to-be by telling ourselves, “We’re getting a (human) PUPPY!” That’s the only way we can connect emotionally with the joy of having our first child. It’s not that we don’t like children (okay, we don’t like them as much as we like dogs), it’s more an issue of having spent so little time with them that we don’t know what to be excited ABOUT. We’re trusting that it’ll be just as great an experience as discovering the joys of dog ownership (but with far less freedom). Our friends who’ve had both children and dogs tell us it’s an even greater experience, but my mind cannot comprehend that…
Cooze, eh? Glad your friend caught that one. Um, don’t name her Twizzat either, as in “You ain’t hit the twizzat!” (Boomerang). Box, Gotcha, and Lotus Blossom are all out too–just so’s you know.
10. gamonie | April 11th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I haven’t gotten much done these days. So it goes. What can I say? I’ve just been letting everything pass me by. Basically not much going on lately, but it’s not important. I’ve basically been doing nothing worth mentioning.
11. The special and sexy tale&hellip | February 22nd, 2010 at 2:15 pm
[...] Jonniker. » She [...]
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed