Me
March 23rd, 2006
Bela tagged me, and because she is lovely, and I haven’t talked to her lately and I miss her, I will oblige, quite happily. The idea, you see, is to post five weird quirks about yourself. I have more weird quirks than anyone I know, so while this should be easy, I find myself drawing a pathetic, dull blank.
But here goes anyway:
1: When I’m walking next to someone, I have to be on the right side. I HATE being on the left side of anyone. I like the left side of everything – from my face, to the way I look, to the way my neck bends, and if I’m on the left, then I don’t get to LOOK left, and I hate that. If you and I are walking down the street together, I will do anything and everything in my power to swing myself over to the right. 90% of the time, people don’t notice that I’ve done it, but once they do, they stare at me oddly and say nothing. But that will never stop me.
2: I am obsessed with pickled/brined things. If it’s in vinegar, I’ll eat it. Pickled eggs, pickled beets, pickled brussels sprouts and pickled peppers are all favorites, along with the old standby, pickled cucumbers. Olives are a perpetual staple, and if they come in brine, even better! Capers! I must have capers! Any roommate or mate who has ever lived with me for any length of time figures this out pretty quickly. I buy STACKS of jars of pickled items, and I cannot be stopped. Adam recently put a limit on my pickled goods purchases, and I swear, we’ve saved $20 per each grocery store visit. The rule is, I’m not allowed to buy any new pickled items until I’ve eaten at least one of what’s in the fridge. It’s heartbreaking, but effective. But man, I miss my smorgasboard of pickled items
3: I’m obsessed with bath products. Yes, yes, there is the perfume thing too, but my bath supplies terrify most people who come to visit. My sister recently spent a full hour digging through the shelf in the guest bathroom, trying to discern what each potion could possibly be used for. I rarely finish anything, because I’m almost always moving on to the next item, sniffing obsessively and analyzing the ingredients. I live for baths, if for no other reason than to smell and obsess over whatever bath product I happen to be testing. Mmm…baths…. I am disgustingly obsessed with removing any sort of hair or debris out of the tub before using it, and even if I’ve scrubbed the tub that morning, I MUST thoroughly scrub it again to make sure it’s free of hair, which brings me to my next point…
4: I hate hair. I would rather someone spit in my food than leave a hair in it, and I promise you, that is no exaggeration. Hair repulses me when it’s not attached to someone’s body, and even then, it can go either way. If I like you and think you probably have clean hair, then you’re fine. If I suspect for EVEN ONE SECOND that your hair is less than squeaky-clean, forget it. I will not go near your hair. I would never and could never date a hairy man. My sister’s husband, for example, is downright furry, leaving large swaths of hair behind, particularly in the bathroom. Shortly after they departed, it looked like a yeti had just spent the weekend showering in our tub, pulling out large chunks of hair in agony. I vaccuumed the bathroom six times in two days just to make sure it was all gone. But while that is an extreme case, I still hate hair, even my own. I keep it short for not only aesthetic reasons (you’ve seen my jawline), but because I cannot bear the thought of having any sort of hair ANYWHERE near me or my face or my neck (ick! the neck!). I should probably seek professional help for this, but alas, there are too many other pressing issues.
5: Perhaps my most unglamorous quality is that I snore. Loudly. I always have, since I was an infant, or so I’m told, but it’s progressed to a point where I’m frightened of myself. I wake myself up quite often, and identify with those sleep apnea things on TV. Yes, yes, I’m going to an ENT, but MAN, it would be funny if it wasn’t me. I mean, I SNORE. How gross is that?
Since I’ve already dosed myself with Benadryl for the night, I am blanking on my tag subjects, so I’m going to start with two I knew might be up for it right out of the gate: I suspect Jamie might be up for it, so that shall be where I start. And then, of course, because she knew she would have to do this: Yesrie.
*Paula Cole. God, she had such potential when she toured with Peter Gabriel, but since then…a dud. A hairy dud, and you know where that stands in my book.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
13 Comments Add your own
1. carol | March 24th, 2006 at 6:19 am
Great – I shed like a dog. So I guess that means I won’t be invited over for dinner??
2. shiftclick | March 24th, 2006 at 8:20 am
I share the dislike of hair thing. :: shivers :: Not on people, but any loose hairs I might find in the sink or tub, or just anywhere. I often wonder if my mother didn’t torture me with a loose hair when I was a baby.
3. Jamie | March 24th, 2006 at 10:02 am
Of course, I am always up for random meme/themes. I’ll have to put together a list this weekend. Or maybe today at work, given that I’m completely bored.
Side note: I loved Paula Cole on the live 2-CD Peter Gabriel set. What happened to her? My sources say she went the way of Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians and is now scary.
4. Whinger | March 24th, 2006 at 10:41 am
Never have me to visit. I shed like no one else. My mother always sighs when she finds the first clump of hair when I visit, “It brings back so many memories!”
Where did Paula Cole GO? She was so GOOD! And then….poof!
5. jonniker | March 24th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Carol and Whinge (and anyone else who may be wondering…), I’m pretty sure your hair is fine. I could deal with your hair. Head hair shedding from people I know and love is fine. My dear friend Eve sheds like no one I have ever known, and I didn’t get freaked out. It’s a random thing, that hair thing. Kind of like dog poop. I don’t mind my own dog’s poop, but please, don’t make me pick up someone else’s.
Not that hair is like dog poop, but in that ‘known’ quality of being able to handle it, it is.
Oh god, am I ever DIGGING. But it comes from a good place.
And yah, Paula Cole. I did like her on the PG CD, and touring – oh my GOD, she was amazing live, when she stepped in for Sinead O’Connor. But then…where? Where is she now?
And Jamie, I love Edie. I think she just ran off with Paul Simon to go have babies, yes? Is she really that terrifying? I haven’t seen her in ages.
6. Jamie | March 24th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
I’m not sure about Edie’s fright factor – it all rumors at this point. Must go do some googling…will report back.
7. Yesrie | March 24th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
“Head hair shedding from people I know and love is fine.”
Okay WHEW. My hair? Like the broom splinters in Fantasia. It pauses before leaping from my head ONLY to adhere to one or both of my eyeballs (just to piss… me… off). It’s everywhere, yet there’s enough on my head for three people. I guess overpopulation explains the mass exodus. Alex’s crew-cut last May is looking like a really good idea.
I’m a memer! No more auto-tags for me! You know me, you really know me! (Wait. I’m predictable?)
{{{mwah}}}
8. Jen W. | March 25th, 2006 at 8:49 am
I saw Paula Cole on an old episode of “Charmed” the other day, and she SUCKED. Sorry. Never liked her, never will.
I love the quirk about pickled things and that your husband makes you limit your purchases.
9. winterwheat | March 25th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
You are wonderfully nutty.
10. Yesrie | March 25th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
I force my position next to people too :> because my “purse” is a large, crowded, ornery shoulderbag, and it lives on my right hip. Given sufficient momentum when I make a sudden move, it could knock out a 3-year-old. Because I’m a southpaw (need arm & shoulder free of shoulderbag-maintenance), the bag’s on the right, so people go on my left, in the bag-safe zone.
I’m a pickle person too – as a toddler I’d choose pickles over potato chips. And I snore :-J
(What if Paula Cole went back to Rockport and Mom scored that apartment she craves, and they went to the same cornerstore in the dead of summer and Paula was wearing a tank top and Mom SAW HER PITS?! I think I’d buy tickets for that.)
11. Bela | March 26th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Hey, thanks for being such a good sport!
I share two of your quirks: I need to be on the left of anyone I’m walking next to because I carry my bag over my left shoulder. So we’d be ok: me on the left, on the right.
I also adore pickles: I was brought up on olives and capers and marinated herring and Malossol gherkins. Unfortunately, these days, they mean death or even worse for me, so I have to resort to just sniffing those things whenever I encounter them.
Re. bath products, I’m the opposite of you: I live in fear that I will be survived by my shower gels. I have to finish any product before buying another one. I only take showers, not baths – I’ve been suffering from itchy skin since the d***** menopause and I try to be wet for as little time as possible.
Hmmm… hair: mine has been falling out very badly for five years now (also because of the d***** menopause) and it’s getting very thin on top. I’ve always had masses of hair and I only realized there was a problem when I hoovered once and found the nozzle was completely clogged by hairs – all my hair was on the floor instead of on my head. Anyway, I do shed a lot and, unfortunately, it doesn’t grow back. Hair is a sore point with me these days; I resent ads for hair products on the TV; there seems to be nothing else. You definitely can’t be a guest at my flat. Sorry. Also, of course, my poor pussycat’s hairs are still all over the place…
I don’t snore, but my partner does. Why do you think we don’t share a house? LOL!
That was fun! Thanks, J.
12. jodiroadie | March 26th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
FYI:
Paula Cole moved back from LA about a year or so ago and purchased a large brownstone in the West Village that was once owned by Edie Falco (No – I’m not stalking her – it was in the NYT Real Estate section!). Her website (http://paulacole.com) occasionally has updates…
13. Trina | March 28th, 2006 at 2:15 am
J, you and I can walk together anytime! I’m the exact same way, but I need to be on the left. NEED! I drive Chris crazy with it.
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