L.O.V.E.

I’m addicted to television. I mean, I love TV. I know it’s lowbrow, and I should be reading and writing and experiencing culture, and being active, but whatever. Seriously, whatever.

I love TV. And there is some seriously good TV on these days. Grey’s Anatomy. Big Love (oh, the love I have for the Big Love!), The Sopranos, What About Brian? TELEVISION, how I love thee. Except for Lost. I loved Lost, but dude, I’m over it. But last night was fabulous and so, a tough choice.

I don’t mind that not everyone loves television as much as I do, but the people who don’t have TVs, and act like I’m some sort of heathen because I have one oh, and by the way, I LOVE IT AND WANT TO MARRY IT? I don’t like those people.

But really, this isn’t about those people. It’s about how much I’d like to punch out Michelle Rodriguez. Blue Crush was fine – FINE, sort of, since it was a B-movie and star vehicle for the luminous Kate Bosworth (who is in desperate need of a grilled cheese sandwich. Or a milkshake. But who also looks like my stunning friend Kelly, who reads this site, and is beautiful as she is. Hi, Kelly!), but LOST IS NOT FINE. SHE IS NOT FINE. No one acts like that in real life. No one frowns that much, no one talks that way, and for crying out loud, no one wears that many half shirts with chunky belts. You’re on a desert island, for chrissake. Is that belt really necessary? Alyssa Milano wears half shirts like they’re going out of style (which, hello! THEY ARE.) on Charmed, but that’s because she’s the producer, she’s hot, and she wants to show her abs. So fine. But thank God Michelle’s been shot. THANK GOD. But I’m pissed they took Libby too.

And then there’s Chloe Sevigny. I’ve already ranted to Holly about this odd little woman, but seriously, it cannot be said enough: she must stop scowling, frowning and gazing. Yes, yes, there are bigger issues with this show – Bill Paxton has teeth reminiscent of filed teeth as they await veneers, his ass is like an ominpresent piece of flank steak, and Bruce Dern looks and acts like a pedophile, but seriously. Chloe. You are the problem. KNOCK IT OFF.

Ah, television, I love you. I have two Tivos, three TVs and television access on every single computer in my home and I AM HAPPY. Happy and entirely uncultured, and I don’t care. And am I the only one who watches American Inventor? THE ONLY ONE? WHO CRIES? I mean I even cried when that woman put a maxi pad on her head, for chrissake. Television, it stirs emotions. How can it be bad?

And really, this post has no point. Zero point. And it’s horrible. Except, I thought everyone deserved better than to end the week with a post about child abuse, so happy Friday! Just don’t forget to watch TV this weekend. It’s good for you.

*Ashlee Simpson. I like Ashlee too. Because that’s how classless I really am.

16 comments May 4th, 2006