Did You Ever Look So Nice?

Every single day, I think something nice about someone. Every day. Whether it’s how pretty they are, or how kind their eyes look, or how incredibly smart they sounded when sounding off about the wonders of melatonin, or why Mike Boogie has no earthly business being on Big Brother All Stars (anyone else addicted? Just me?).

While I consider myself relatively free with my compliments, the percentage is still somewhere in the 5% range of those happy thoughts I actually share with the owner. Mostly, it’s because I’m afraid of sounding like a stalker and/or a lunatic, and having the person think that I want something, or am trying to get into their pants. I also have a tendency to be a little over the top. I can’t give a reserved compliment without sounding insincere. Actually, I probably sound insincere anyway, because I am usually BLOWN AWAY by whatever it is I’m complimenting the person on, and before I know it, I’ve gotten mixed up with my words and I’ve just told a complete stranger, “I love you so much! Uhhh, I mean, I love that sweater so much! Not you! But I do like you! Maybe I would love you if I knew you! But not now! Ha! Just the sweater!” and run away.

99.9% of the time, I just like whatever it is they said/look like/whatever, and that .01 % of self-serving compliments are almost always reserved for Abe, whom I usually want something from and/or want to get in his pants. But that mercifully means y’all are safe.

Anyway.

I got a call from a woman today – a woman who saw something I’d done for work. She called to tell me how much she loved it – how much she loved me for writing it, and how much she hopes I continue to write, but for my life, as she’s been following things I’ve been working on. She finished it up by literally shouting into the phone, “KEEP WRITING! GET A BOOK DEAL! I LOVE IT!” and then hung up. She was probably 80, her voice breaking as she shouted over the airwaves.

I hung up the phone, put my head in my hands and honestly just burst into tears like a whimpering fool. She made my entire year with that one phone call, and she probably has no idea. She didn’t worry about offending me, or making me feel like she was a stalker – and she had to go through quite a bit of trouble to get my phone number, too, as I later learned she’d called four people looking for it. It was, to her, a simple thing to say, it cost her nothing but time, yet she went ahead and did it. And she had no idea how much it would mean to me, she just wanted to do it. She doesn’t know that it’s not just my day job, but a huge (wait for the gag word that I can’t believe I’m about to use in a sentence. You ready?) passion. (Heh, I just said passion in a sentence. PASSION! I might as well say “make love” and then throw up and die).

Complimenting someone else doesn’t take anything away from you – there is plenty of talent/beauty/whatever to go around – it just gives something to someone else, and you might never know how much. I know the 80 year-old reader who called herself Carol probably has no clue that I wrote down every word she said so that I’ll never forget it.

I know I said Fridays** would be fluffy, and I thought I’d go back to that. In fact, I had a whole post planned about the pros and cons of meringue (What is meringue? Why do we eat it? Why do egg whites get stiff, and why would anyone DO that?), but instead, I honestly want everyone who reads this to go out and compliment at least three people today. Genuinely compliment three people on things you notice. Maybe it’s the necklace on the clerk at the supermarket – for all you know, she made it and it’s her life’s work. Maybe it’s the way the waiter pours your wine – he could be studying to be a sommelier! Maybe that teacher at your son’s school goes home and works for 8 more hours in the evenings just to entertain her kids and keep parents happy, and all she wants is a “good job.” Or maybe someone is just always nice to you, no matter what. I’ll bet they’d like to hear it.

You get the idea. In the meantime, I’m figuring out where Carol lives so I can send her diamond earrings and kiss her on the lips.

*The Samples

**That I write on Thursdays

16 comments July 6th, 2006