Limp

August 31st, 2006

Things have reached an all-time summer-yet-winter low here at Chez Jonniker. While Adam’s suicidal work mission has slowed down enough for him to stop skulking around the house like Chillingworth in the Scarlet Letter, things continue to be embarrassingly dull. I know I’ve said it before, but it is too freakin’ hot to leave the house, and we’re desperate for entertainment. I’ve been, um, driving to the gym, which is (oh my God, I’m saying it out loud) half a block away from our house.

Combine this miserable heat with a healthy dose of Ernesto panic – which, um, turned out to be light breezes and about 15 minutes of heavy rain – and it’s been well over a week since we’ve actually ventured out of the house for more than 10 minutes at a time for anything other than work, food and blue tarps.

It’s taking its toll. Television is ruling my life, as if it wasn’t already obvious. My mind has become the equivalent of mashed banana with peas, and nowhere was this more evident than when I realized that tonight’s Big Brother episode was an entire week’s worth of excitement crammed into one action-packed hour. I went nuts, squealing with excitement, jumping up and down and accidentally throwing my wine glass in some sort of wildly inappropriate cheer, complete with screaming and hooting (hooting?). There may or may not have been some celebratory fist-pumping. (There totally was, and I had this kind of too-serious Olympic sports face on, clenched teeth and all.)

“OH MY GOD!” I jumped around excitedly as I remembered the ominous prophecy from Julie Chen last week. “ADAM! Do you know what this means? Two people are being evicted. They will play the veto! AND NOMINATE SOMEONE ELSE. And then the whole cycle happens again tonight. LIVE. BEFORE OUR VERY EYES.”

It sounds pathetic, even to me, and oh – it was. I felt especially ridiculous when I had to clean up the wine that I threw around the bedroom in a humiliating display of unbridled ecstasy because I was excited about a new episode of a reality television show.

Someone save us. Bring knishes.

In addition to sweating profusely and drinking copious amounts of cold white wine, I’ve been downloading an ungodly amount of music. In the event you are remotely interested and/or looking for something new, here’s a few things I’ve picked up this week. Someone get me out of the house before I spend my whole paycheck.

Rusted Root, When I Woke
Further evidence that I have yet to move beyond my college years. I saw them more than (oh my God) 10 (or more?) years ago in a tiny bar, and I’ve loved them ever since. I’ve bought this album no fewer than four times and keep losing it. Let’s hope this is the last.

Peter Gabriel Up
Another re-purchase for me (where the fuck did all my CDs go?), but one that’s totally worth looking into if it’s new to you. If you’re an old-time Peter Gabriel (pre-So) fan, then you will appreciate it, as it’s pretty damn enjoyable. If you’re looking for “In Your Eyes” or even “Blood of Eden,” run screaming for the hills. It’s not that kind of album.

Snow Patrol Eyes Open
I’ve been totally resistant to this after the Grey’s Anatomy overload, but actually? It’s quite good. Sigh. Chase the cars, brother.

Keane Under the Iron Sea
Hopes and Fears was fucking phenomenal, and Under the Iron Sea doesn’t disappoint. I hear they’re fabulous live, and when Tom gets out of rehab and reschedules their shows, I suggest you go. I will not be there, however, since rock concerts make me uncomfortable, as I am uptight and also, awkward.

Carbon Leaf, 5 Alive
Great band no matter what, but live? Pretty freakin’ awesome. Not that I would know, because again: concerts make me unhappy. And so I pretend to go somewhere live. However, if you’ve never listened to Carbon Leaf, this is a nice introduction no matter what (although their other albums are outstanding too).

The Killers Sam’s Town
Pre-ordered. “When You Were Young” is exactly what it should have been, and is it possible for me to anticipate an album more? No. No it is not.

Have a great weekend.

*Fiona Apple

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