Proof
September 17th, 2006
There are a bunch of really angry Disney lovers who have painted me as a vitriolic, Disney-hating crazy who wants to kill anyone who likes processed pork products and/or visits Disney with their screaming children. I guess I angered Disney-lovers with my long-ago disdain for all things theme park, but secretly, my appearance on a Disney-sponsored message board was worth the price of admission, seriously.
I only rarely get hateful or even critical comments or emails, but for some reason, my website has made an ungodly number of appearances on various and sundry Internet message boards. What’s funny is that the original poster never puts it together that I would see what they’ve written, thanks to the wonder of referrer logs, and truthfully, I like it that way. They say exactly what they think, and sometimes – no, most of the time – it’s hilarious, done kindly, and I see their point. I had no idea Disney lovers were so…passionate about Mickey and friends, and that I did indeed offend a large portion of rabid fans with my early summer Disney-snark.
Invariably, when something I write is posted to a board , it is always in the context of a Glamour Don’t. It’s fitting, as I think we can all agree that nowhere here do I pretend to be at all graceful and/or competent in many of the basic things that constitute life. And it never fails to crack me up, what people say in conjunction with something I’ve written or posted. There was a hliarious thread on a popular home decorating network/show website that posted links to pictures of my house (that I posted here some time ago) as a fine example of how decorating can really go awry, and why paint and color should be used more judiciously than what I’d done there. Oh, and they hated my red couches, calling them “gauche.” Unfortunately, I can’t find the link anymore, otherwise I would surely share it with you.
Nothing has been really all that personal, so I find 99% of it amusing, if not downright hysterical. Although that person who posted my full name, date of birth and home address on some angry website? Maybe that wasn’t so nice – especially the part where they tried to incite people to send me bloodied pig feet or something. Not that my date of birth bothers me, oh no! December 27, 1975. Why yes, I am a Christmas Capricorn, and now you can buy me seasonally-appropriate presents. In birthday wrapping paper, please.
Separately, this weekend was incredibly uneventful, which is exactly what we needed after the excitement of last week, and given that A. is still operating on a stress level that is currently breaking tension records along the greater eastern seaboard. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping going on, however, since the cat inexplicably decided to scream, howl and otherwise disturb all beings with their eyes closed as soon as the eyelashes hit the cheeks. Friday night, his desperate, plaintive cries were so pitiful that I ran down the stairs to comfort him as he screamed at the toad torturing him out the front window, but by Saturday night, I was locking the yellmonster deep, deep in the laundry room, screaming, cursing and weeping from exhaustion.
And lastly, I’ve noticed few results from my gym efforts, which, well, my patience is wearing thin, no pun intended. Four or five miles a day, four or five days a week for at least eight weeks, and I weigh…wait for it…exactly the same as I did when I started. Fine – yes, I am no longer winded when I walk up the stairs (shut up), and I kind of feel a difference in my thighs, in that they are no longer rubbing together with enough friction to start forest fires, but still.
Can the gods of weight loss throw me a bone please? I don’t entirely buy the whole “muscle weighs more than fat” thing, really, although if anyone wants to tell me that with any authority, I might be inclined to believe you, and maybe send you a big box of chocolate covered cherries. I’m not subsisting on a diet of celery and lettuce, but I’m not Augustus Gloop-ing my way through the kitchen on a nightly basis either. Whatever.
And all of this – all of this odd little minutiae that makes up the weekend, and I suppose, our lives, adds up to an extraordinary level of frustration that, when matched with The Husband’s stress level, is causing our home to vibrate with bemused discontent.
*Paul Simon
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
13 Comments Add your own
1. Nat | September 17th, 2006 at 7:50 pm
I have had the same experience with the unbudging scale. I’ve been eating detox soup all week (basically the WW veggie soup with 8 million veggies in it and enough fart inducing things to convince my husband that he’d rather have me fat than farty) and exercising like a fiend. The scale? Refuses to acknowledge my dedication. Harrumph!!
So I did what I do every time I get pissed off about it. I baked and I ate. Ha! That’ll show the scales!
Oh, and as long as “odd little minutiae” does not equal touching a stranger’s bodily fluids, I’d say you’re doing fine.
2. lightspeed | September 17th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
Oh dear. Welcome to Dooce-dom.
I occasionally have people I barely know tell me about all the things they have found about me on the internet, which (trust me) isn’t much. One guy even printed off some pages and plunked them down infront of me, just to prove that he really had the info.
Some people have a strange need to excercise power over others, no matter how small that tidbit may be. My major contributions to the web are usually comments on other people’s websites. I don’t keep a blog, largely because I don’t have the time. But then there is the privacy loving part of me that also does not want to worry about what kind of information I am making available to people I don’t know.
It also could be that my thoughts and writing style just aren’t *that* interesting.
3. Beth | September 17th, 2006 at 10:05 pm
I’m not in a position of authority, but I do believe that the way you feel is more important than the numbers on the scale, and if you’re no longer out of breath when you walk up the stairs, that is a victory, my friend.
I’m working on my stamina, too, and am often out of breath if I walk/run upstairs to answer the phone. Makes for some interesting conversation. ;^)
4. Suebob | September 17th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
If you want a clue about how nutty Disney people are, google “hidden mickeys” and go to the site. That will tell you a lot.
5. Blythe | September 18th, 2006 at 1:21 am
I received my first cranky anonymous comments last week. I was secretly delighted and slightly amused (whoa! someone is reading my blog! and they actually take me seriously? what’s up with that?) but my husband was ticked off (I’d like attribute it to a knight-in-shining-armor impulse but it’s probably because the commenter mentioned husband’s workplace by name too, grrr). My troll doesn’t speak fluent English – isn’t that almost as good as being a Disney disciple??
6. winterwheat | September 18th, 2006 at 4:33 am
Disney disciples are nuts. I teach a class on children and the media and show a video called Mickey Mouse Monopoly. The name pretty much says it all, and it doesn’t go over well. Students seem to think that Disney is a “corporation with a soul,” as opposed to a ruthless conglomerate that is no more warm and fuzzy than any other ruthless conglomerate, except they sell children’s things. If you can really call them children’s things. The research on long-term fright effects of scary media is full of Disney references. Dead parent, anyone? Disney’s got you covered. Dark-skinned people bad, light-skinned people good? Disney’s got that too. Girls who give up their voices to snag a man? Yep. SO many important lessons–thanks Disney!
7. Lawyerish | September 18th, 2006 at 6:26 am
Are Disney-philes somehow unaware that lots of people do not like all things Disney? I can’t imagine why they would single out one Disney-detractor among many. MANY. But it does seem a marker of your popularity that you have found so much vitriol leveled against you. So to that, I say bravo!
And muscle really does weigh more than fat. If I take some time off running, my weight goes down by a pound or two because I lose a bit of muscle mass. If you’re noticing more tone, that’s always a good thing (also, the feeling better — good). The one caution is that ramping up your exercise can also make you a lot hungrier, so sometimes people overcompensate for an intense workout with more food. That’s why they say that superintensive exercise, like training for a marathon (!) is not a good way to lose weight — you end up eating too much! (I can vouch for this. I am happy with my weight, but I did not lose an ounce from all this running.)
8. Carole | September 18th, 2006 at 6:32 am
Hello!
I used to enjoy your posts on MUA, and I am enjoying your blog !
Here is the thing about muscle and fat: A pound of each weighs the same. A pound of anything weighs 454 g. It’s the volume thing: A pound of fats would take up more space than a pound on muscle. So, well done-you have reduced the volume you occupy in this world! Plus, you are fitter.
Thanks for maintaining this blog!
Sincerely,
carole
9. Claire | September 18th, 2006 at 8:46 am
If you’re feeling better, that’s great. I wish i had the dedication to just make myself feel better.
I’m sure you’re more toned, too, and that clothes fit you better. There has to be something to this exercising thing or else no one would do it.
And the Disney people? To get so bent out of shape that they’re talking about your one trip to Disney is a bit wacky.
It’s fun to see people talk about you, though isn’t it? Like a fly on the wall.
10. Yez | September 18th, 2006 at 10:37 am
It’s totally scary that someone posted your full name, address and DOB. WTF? I’m so glad to blog in obscurity. WP would list anyone who actually linked to me, but if people are off somewhere trashing me, I wouldn’t know and I’d rather not know :> I have shitloads, MOUNTAINS of spammers/googlers hitting my blog daily. They LOVE the French Keyboard picture, boy howdy! The next runner-up, predictably, is the phrase “random personal questions”.
11. Sian | September 18th, 2006 at 10:46 am
There are websites for Disney lovers???? My goodness. What do they do? Trawl the internet for people who insult Mickey and then, what? Everybody has to have a hobby I suppose.
Many congrats on the weight loss.
12. suze | September 18th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
okay, my birthday is dec. 25, 1975 – while i understand that all you christmas-wannabe babies get shafted over xmas too, it’s NOTHING compared to us real christmas babies. just so you know.
You at least have one day between presents. I don’t even get that. But yes, i also insist on birthday wrapping paper.
As for the exercise – muscle really does weigh more than fat, honest. The scales have barely budged for me either, but my clothes are so much looser. Scales are evil and only a minor measure of exercise and health success. honest.
13. Weight Loss Guide&hellip | October 7th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Weight Loss Guide
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed