Seasons Change
October 3rd, 2006
I’m sick of being hot. I see pictures of crisp yellow leaves and people wearing fleece jackets and vests and cordouroys and… well, I’ve seen footwear other than flip flops in other people’s pictures, and gaah, it’s too hot for me to consider anything else (my feet need to breathe. BREATHE.) But hell, I sure would give anything to put on some hiking boots and snuffle around in crunchy leaves and I don’t even hike. It’s blazing hot here, and every day it seems, it feels like it gets hotter and hotter as the day wears on, and by 7 p.m., I can hardly breathe.
Speaking of footwear, and apropos of nothing, I wore two different shoes to work today. Did you know that people actually did that? I’ve seen it played out in cliches and cartoons and television shows and thought, who does that? Are they afflicted with retardia? I then I did it, and though it was only in Reefs, it was humiliating to realize that my left foot was clad in a lovely brown leather little number, while my right was in screaming hot pink. This hot pink clashed with my watermelon skirt, incidentally, and the fact that I was wearing a watermelon skirt really freaked me out.
The elderly snowbird-type folks are starting to trickle in, and our dinners out are becoming more and more peppered with hugs and cries of “OH MY GOD! How was MINNESOTA?!” and there is an alarming increase in traffic, and an even more alarming increase in fender benders that result in exceedingly wealthy 80 year-olds being wheeled away from their Jaguars on orange guerneys.
And the outfits! My God, it’s October! October is a time for fall colors and fisherman knits and wool v-necks with dark jeans and – ooh ooh – maybe some BOOTS. Not so much here. Instead, this is about the most tame thing you’ll see. (Please, if you’re a Lilly Pulitzer fan, I’m so sorry. It’s just…well, I find her stuff vile and everything that’s wrong with suburban affluence, all wrapped up in a sherbet-themed confection, and I thought this parentheses would be more forgiving than that, but I can’t even fake it. Hate Lilly.) Tropical prints leap off of pants all over the place. Sweater sets with applique’d raspberries dance atop lime green skirts printed with giant parrots on them. Perfectly pedicured feet twirl inside gold leather sandals adorned with giant pink rhinestones. I’ve seen more palm tree-themed jewelry than I’d like to admit.It’s like Jennifer Lopez-meets-Betty White down here, and it’s untenable.
And I wore a watermelon skirt today, and I flipped out, because GOD, I looked like a pod person, and when I went home to change my shoes, I peeled it off in favor of some new fall pants. (I’ve had that skirt since well before I moved here, but I had no idea what a sad significance it would adopt in this place.) The new pants, by the way, were a really bad idea, since I was seriously sweating through them by the time the day was halfway over, giving new meaning to the term ‘swamp ass.’
I’d give anything to throw on a pair of cordouroys, a nice lightweight v-neck sweater, and maybe some sassy little…uh, loafers? (Please remember that I cannot dress myself. Do people wear loafers? Is that lame?) Instead, I’m wearing limp jersey skirts and t-shirts with Reefs, and God, I even briefly hallucinated and considered changing my tune on Lilly Pulitzer just to change it up a little, and that’s about as scary as it gets, folks. And I know, I know, when January comes, you’ll all be shoveling, and I’ll be at the beach with a bunch of tropical-printed tourists with their umbrella drinks, but for right now, GOD, I just want a new season. And warm pants.
*Exposé . Surely you remember Exposé
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
18 Comments Add your own
1. -R- | October 3rd, 2006 at 9:02 pm
I think loafers have made a comeback and are popular right now. I am with you on the lack of fashion sense. I have seriously considered posting pictures on my blog of clothes I might buy to find out whether they are ugly or not.
I have almost gone to work with one navy blue and one black shoe, but how did you not notice that one was brown and one was PINK? Hilarious.
2. Daily Tragedies | October 3rd, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Um, my brain has been serenading me since I read the title. GAH! How could you do this to me?!?!?
At least here in NorCal we have more than one season, but just today I was complaining that it’s gotten cold — like 70 — and it’s just barely October. This from the girl who spent 21 years in Wisconsin, where 70 in October is something we pray for. Sheesh!
3. Dave | October 3rd, 2006 at 10:40 pm
I’ll see your mismatched shoes and raise you a pair of shorts worn backward. Unintentionally. Really, I mean it. I even managed to put my keys in my BACKWARDS pockets and didn’t notice. No contest, I win.
I’m a dozen years removed from actual seasons and I don’t miss it a bit. The only real difference between winter and summer in San Diego is that there’s less traffic in the summer.
4. TwoBusy | October 4th, 2006 at 6:20 am
If it makes you feel any better, it’s going to be in the low 80s in Boston today, so it’s not like you’re really missing anything.
(Of course, it’ll only be 60 tomorrow. The leaves are starting to change. And there might even be frost this weekend. By this time next week, I’ll be comfortably wearing fleece almost every morning. Are you feeling better yet? If not, I can just keep going…)
5. Amity | October 4th, 2006 at 6:28 am
Thank you for reminding me why I moved away from FL. At least when I lived in North FL there was an attempt at seasons; not like when I lived in Central FL and we used to go to the beach on New Years Day. Bleh.
6. Heather B. | October 4th, 2006 at 6:32 am
It’s 84 here today.
I’m wearing a light weight yellow dress and a cardigan. And tomorrow it’s supposed to be 65.
WTF??
7. Claire | October 4th, 2006 at 6:39 am
I second TwoBusy. On long island today, it’s going to be in the upper 70′s and that’s just weird. I’m wearing sandals today and its f-ing October. I’m not sure how i feel about that (especially since i haven’t shaved my legs all week and i’m wearing capris and totally didn’t think about it until i got to work and looked down and saw fur! Furry legs! Hellooo October!)
I wear loafers… and that Lily Pulitzer? Holy shit, that’s bright. And horrible. Though, there was a nice white dress on the site, but that’s really all i could stomach.
JLo meets Betty White… Heheh.
8. Lawyerish | October 4th, 2006 at 6:42 am
Words cannot capture my hatred for Lilly Pulitzer. I just do. not. get. it.
It’s over 80 today in NYC, but I am wearing a v-neck sweater, gray pants and loafers because it is 35 below in the office year-round.
This weekend it’s going to feel very fallish, and I can’t wait. I’m going to make my spiced cider. I don’t know how people live in tropical climates — autumn is a season that is necessary to life.
Sorry. Didn’t mean to rub it in.
9. Christine | October 4th, 2006 at 7:22 am
When I lived in FL, that’s what I missed most. The seasons.
And also? When I was in health class junior year (comprised of 10 boys, one girl and me), Coach Brown decided he would have the sexes be allowed to ask each other open questions. Ethan asked Kelly and me, “Do girls get swamp-ass?”
If I had known you then.
10. Jamie | October 4th, 2006 at 7:46 am
I’m with Barmore on this one – Chicago was 85 yesterday, 64 today and raining, supposedly back up to 74 tomorrow. WTF?!
Oh, and loafers are back in IF they’re the “driving/road moccasin” types – I found a pair of black ones by Charles David at Marshalls last month and they are literally all I have worn since then. Love doesn’t quite cover it.
11. rosie | October 4th, 2006 at 7:56 am
I would KILL to wear flip flops to work. Why don’t we change lives for a bit? You can gladly take over my boring fall work attire of boots and wool cable knit sweaters and I’ll prance around footloose and fancy-free in flip flops and skirts little longer!!
I’m like the only person who’s all bah-humbug about fall right now. Oh well – you always want what you don’t have, right?
(Though I must say – CO beats FL, that’s for sure =)
12. Beth | October 4th, 2006 at 8:44 am
I’m with you on the breathing feet. Er…you know what I mean. I own a whole drawer full of socks and never wear them. But I like socks — esp. cute ones — so I must buy them nonetheless for my sock collection while I traipse around in Tevas and fake Merrells.
On the swamp ass: Have you heard Kathy Griffin’s riff on her own S.A. situation?
And how are you so prolific? And OMG, could your font be any smaller?? I feel so old. ;^)
13. Jen W. | October 4th, 2006 at 9:57 am
I do miss fall and the cool, crisp days….but I will gladly trade frozen boogers and shoveling snow for wearing tank tops in January down here.
14. Desiree | October 4th, 2006 at 10:15 am
I am a cute 25 year old and I love loafers. If only I could find them. I have been on a shopping excursion for weeks now trying to find cute loafers that don’t have zippers on the side, that haven’t been converted to kicky heels and that aren’t purple. As for the current mode of attire in your area I am so sorry. Anything with sorbet in the description that isn’t a specific food stuff should be outlawed.
15. Leah | October 4th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
I am a cute 27-year-old and I also wear loafers. Just wanted to put that out there.
16. Claire | October 5th, 2006 at 6:20 am
Leah, haha! : )
17. jes | October 5th, 2006 at 8:48 am
I’m a little haunted by the brown and pink sandals. HOW did that happen?
18. Lin | October 25th, 2006 at 9:38 am
The ONLY time I’ve thought Lily looked cute on anyone was when those sweet sorbet colors were draping a little girl’s perfect form. Otherwise, I’m in complete agreement with you. Complete.
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