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December 14th, 2006
I went to work this morning as I would any other day. I was meeting-free, and had a whole day of cruising through the work I had on my plate, and ducking out early to go to the mall to get some Christmas shopping done. Until a meeting was scheduled, but whatever, I could totally roll with it, and fine, yay, meeting! Until I went to pee before leaving for said meeting, and spied the outline of a black bra underneath my white shirt, and realized I looked like a fatter, sluttier Avril Lavigne and it was time to hit the Target pre-meeting, because dude, I am not sexy enough to rock the black bra/white T-shirt look, and that realization might actually suck more than having to brave Target in December. And also, I might add that I had to change in the Target parking lot, and it was only when I couldn’t get the shirt on properly that I realized that I was parked next to a man that I am convinced was only pretending to be asleep, but was in fact, enjoying a not-so-hot show of a frantic shirt-changer.
Anyway. The day was somewhat doomed from the get-go, because Ad and I both had dreams that we cheated on one another, and woke up feeling rather damaged, crushed and pissy. However, I contend that I had the infinitely worst end of the deal, dreaming that there was an ex-girlfriend-type named Sunday who wanted a piece of him, and was willing to camp out on our front porch for it, while he dreamed that I’d been carrying on a torrid sexual affair with…the checkout boy at the supermarket. Sexy Sunday vs. Supermarket Checkout Boy. And yet he’s entirely convinced that his dream pain was so much worse, because at least the checkout boy is local, and it could totally happen every time I hit up Hannaford for some applesauce and muffins (sexy!). And honestly, whatever, just whatever, because that’s just crust, and I’m sure you agree with me. Or someone does, I hope, because the last supermarket checkout boy I conversed with had a head the size of a watermelon because he hadn’t yet gone through puberty and his body hadn’t caught up. Hott.
Uh, an important edit I just made is that I wrote that section of the entry last week, and where was I going with it? Was it really that bad of a day? I do not know! I barely remember it, honestly, but I distinctly remember hanging up on my husband when he teased me about Sunday, because I was PISSED. And, uh, that’s all I’ve got.
So look, there are several things going on here, not the least of which is extreme inertia. Something about being completely overwhelmed with the holidays and a host of other personal items that just keep piling up like a pile of presents, only not the fun kind, but the kind that you open and you’re all, “Wow! A confusing letter from the IRS! Thank you, U.S. Government, THANK YOU!” leaves me completely paralyzed, unable to think of anything worthwhile other than “cupcakes!” and also, “Bacardi! Oooh ooh, and ginger ale!” (Incidentally, both are alongside me right now, and I’m pretty excited. Also, herein ends the Cupcake Period, as they are finished. Hooray!)
Annyway, the point of mentioning the inertia is twofold. I haven’t done an ‘About’ section for this site, and I’ve been intending to for months, and this weekend, lo, I think I will finally do so, because there are a lot of things I assume people know, but then, why would you? And every time I visit a new site, I always want to hit the ‘About’ section, and when they don’t have one, I am often confused. But more importantly, because I am in a period of laziness in the writing department, can I make an open request for questions? Any questions at all from the peanut gallery? Is there anything you want to know that you don’t already know? You can ask me anything within reason, and I’ll do my best to answer you, and truthfully, if I can’t do it here, I’ll respond via e-mail (I loves the e-mail). I realize this is a cop-out, kind of obnoxious and also a bit on the side of something a lazy sow would do, but given that I am a bit of a lazy sow who also eats cupcakes, it seems appropriate. I won’t, for obvious reasons, disclose in a public forum exactly where I live, exactly where I work or you know, my last name. But everything else is fair game, and I will do my best to answer! Because I am a lazy sow! But I love answering questions, and I actually want to know what I’ve left out that would be helpful. Helpful in what sense, I don’t know, because I am, as a rule, unhelpful, especially in the blog department, but that also seems to apply to life.
And if no one asks anything, I might cry. Alone and unloved. And also lazy, and eating cupcakes. Upside!
(But other comments are also welcome if you can think of nothing. I can never think of anything when people ask me this, so I usually bust out with, “What is your favorite food?” because I am original! And thoughtful!)
Have a great weekend.
*The Smiths
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
23 Comments Add your own
1. Dee Dee | December 14th, 2006 at 7:36 pm
Hmmmm. What do I want to know? What’s with the song titles as post titles? I love that, btw. It’s scary but I own most of that music. I’ll ponder other questions…
2. Christine | December 14th, 2006 at 7:58 pm
Questions you say? Serious or not so serious?
1. Are you going to be in Florida between the 20th and the 26th? Because even though I’m sure I’ll be too lazy to drive to visit, should you feel ambitious you could totally come by. I plan on having a lot of booze on hand for the boyfriend. And ooh, ooh coquito which is Puerto Rican eggnog with coconut and it’s delicious (and almost all rum). Otherwise, there is always a couch open for you in Thriladelphia. *wink wink, nudge, nudge”
2. Why in the world would anyone name anyone Sunday, even in your dream?
And um, I guess that’s it for now.
3. H | December 14th, 2006 at 8:22 pm
What’s your biggest fear? (Not phobia-type fear, but in life, what event do you fear most?)
4. Orange Peacock | December 14th, 2006 at 8:33 pm
I’ve been reading you ever since I noticed months and months and months ago that you were in my friend Krissy in Boston’s link list, so I’m sure I’ll think of something I want to know…but there is gingerbread in the living room, so I’m afraid you have to take a number at the moment. Question later!
5. Lulu | December 15th, 2006 at 2:21 am
As a freshman in high school, I was very in love with a boy at school who was also a bag boy at the market. Instead of cleaning, his family remodeled rooms when they got too messy. He drove a Colt. He loved Reba McEntire and went to her concerts even if no one else wanted to go. HIs favorite way to drink beer was on a couch, alone.
That’s really specific I suppose. I hope he never Googles his favorite pastimes.
Sunday is WAY worse than the MarketBoy. But probably because I am imagining a tryst in the back of a small brown car where he whispers to you about the codes from the produce section and the rotation schedule for cleaning up the spills in Aisle 5.
6. Claire | December 15th, 2006 at 6:23 am
ooh, you’re opening yourself up to a q&a? Hmm…
1- first of all, because my head is at the mall (or Target) right now, what are you getting your parents for xmas? I have no idea what to get my father and maybe you have a good idea that i could use. help me, please? someone?
2- Where are you thinking of moving to when you leave Florida? Back to Boston? And have you figured out when that will happen?
3- Where did you go to school and what did you get your degree in?
7. TwoBusy | December 15th, 2006 at 6:57 am
Man. Those dreams suck. Nothing ruins – and I mean, absolutely, completely ruins – my day like having a dream where I get screwed over.
Sorry. Hope the Bacardi and cupcakes helped to remedy your angst.
8. maggie | December 15th, 2006 at 7:07 am
This isn’t a question – I love your red header.
9. Andrea | December 15th, 2006 at 7:15 am
You’ve alluded way back in your archives (where I started reading after your ROFL award post) that you weren’t doing professionally what you dreamed of doing. What was it you dreamed of doing, exactly? Because I’m probably in the same boat. Can totally sympathize.
Next batch of cupcakes, save one for me?
Also, how did you and A meet?
10. Sadie | December 15th, 2006 at 8:40 am
- How do you feel about salad dressing in a spray bottle? (I, for the record, am vehemently opposed)
- Your arm hair – would you say it is copious, normal, or sparse? And if you’ve never thought about it, I would say you fall in the “normal” or “sparse” categories. And if it is copious, have you ever attempted to alter or remove it? By what methods?
- Do you let Sunny lick the water off your feet/legs when you get out of the shower? Or is it only my dog who waits patiently outside the shower curtain for such?
- Dr. McDreamy, or Dr. McSteamy?
11. Heather B. | December 15th, 2006 at 9:04 am
-How do you REALLY feel about the Pussycat Dolls? Don’t hold back now.
-If I ever come to FL, before you move that is, can we hang out and eat Pizza Hut?
-If we go to Pizza Hut, how do you feel about personal pan pizzas? I like them
-How do you feel about stuffed crust?
-If you love me as much as you say you do, how willing are you to finish my holiday shopping/wrap my gifts/bake my cookies/go to the UPS store to return a shirt to threadless/go to the gym for me because the shirt needs to be returned because it doesn’t fit? Let me know.
wow, that’s a lot of questions.
12. -R- | December 15th, 2006 at 9:09 am
What is your favorite type of (cheap-ish) wine?
What movie have you watched the most times and why?
Of all your crazy neighbors, who is the craziest and why?
Kind of lame, but I don’t have any specific arm-hair-related questions right now. (Just teasing, Sadie!)
13. Lawyerish | December 15th, 2006 at 10:20 am
How did you and A. decide to get a dog, and how did you decide on a pug?
If there is any one moment or event in your life that you could relive — not to do differently, but just as it happened — what would it be and why?
If you ever had some idea of what you wanted the man you would marry to be like, how does A. compare to that? Also, is A. like your dad or any other paternal figure you had? (You know how they say you marry your father.)
If you could trade lives with any living person in the world for one day, who would it be?
14. Jamie | December 15th, 2006 at 12:22 pm
what is your favorite condiment?
what was the song played at your wedding for your “first dance?”
what was the first record you ever purchased? (vinyl)
deal or no deal?
what is your favorite pie piece/category in Trivial Pursuit?
15. Jen W. | December 15th, 2006 at 12:52 pm
Why is peanut butter so good?
When are you coming to visit the east coast of Florida?
Why can’t I think of any more questions?
16. guinness girl | December 15th, 2006 at 1:37 pm
What should I wear to my interview on Wednesday?
What is your favorite 80′s movie?
You have $3000, and you have 30 minutes in which to spend it. What do you buy?
If forced to choose between a crossword puzzle, a sudoku puzzle, or a word scramble puzzle, which would you pick?
What’s your favorite brand of toilet paper?
If your boss asked you to clean up his/her office, would you do it?
17. Meepers | December 15th, 2006 at 1:49 pm
When you were a little Jonnikette, what did you think you’d ‘be’ when you grew up? Is it what you want to do now? Do Stacey and Clinton from What Not to Wear make you laugh or change the channel? What would be your dream ‘vacation home’ location? Where have you traveled? Where do you want to go?
How did you come up with Jonniker?
PS. I’ve got to go write my About section. Thanks for reminding me.
18. lizgwiz | December 15th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
When I was in high school, all the hot jocks (including the one that I had the BIGGEST crush on; I think he later turned out to be gay) worked as baggers at the grocery store. Consequently, I couldn’t buy my own feminine hygiene products until I was in college. (Now, of course, I slap them down defiantly and DARE the pimply-faced boy to even smirk.)
Um..questions…what’s your very favorite flavor of cupcake? I like white, with sour cream chocolate icing. Yum.
19. Amanda | December 15th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Do you have names picked out for your future child(ren)?
20. jes | December 15th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Be sure to include a picture of you on your about page. I think it adds something to it, and I’m much more likely to actually READ the text if I can see a picture of the person, because somehow it makes me feel like I know them.
Odd, I know. But: PICTURE. Don’t forget.
21. TwoBusy | December 16th, 2006 at 7:11 am
Do you plan on using your powers for good… or evil?
22. Alexa | December 16th, 2006 at 7:57 am
Ooh, I hate the cheating dreams! The Actually pouted all day once after he dreamt that I cheated on him.
There have been a lot of good questions already asked, so I am at a bit of a loss.
Here are a few:
-What is your favorite outfit?
-What are 10 material things you would not want to live without?
-I second Lawyerish’s question: If you could relive one day/experience, just as it was, what would it be?
-When you wake up in the middle of the night, what do you think/worry about?
-You have a whole “Babylust or lack thereof” category, but there hasn’t been much talk about all that lately–any progress or news to report?
23. Sudoku Puzzles Online&hellip | September 27th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
Sudoku Puzzles Online
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting
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