You’re Pretty Good Looking (For a Girl)
January 3rd, 2007
First of all, Metalia asked yesterday if the wormed nephew was the same nephew who was tortured at Christmas, and the answer is yes. Yes, I was party to his quasi-ruined Christmas for him, and at one point, after his fifth nosebleed of the day, casually mentioned a friend from middle school who had to have her nose cauterized from too many nosebleeds, which led to a bit of mild panic and an explanation of what a soldering gun does. I was like Auntie Death for the duration of the holidays, and only in retrospect have I fully realized my idiocy. I did, however, play a mean game of FlashFlashRevolution with both of my nephews, and racked up quite a few credits to give the little darlings so they can purchase new songs. I’m not all bad.
Also, a housekeeping issue: I’ve been having a bit of a problem while running with, ah, the riding up of the gym shorts. I am a pear, and there is little I can do about that, and while I’m not wearing culottes, I’m not whipping out the hotpants, either. I’m wearing normal shorts that hit mid-thigh, and yet after about five minutes, I’m plucking the inner hem out of my…inners. Pants are not an option, as it’s a bojillion degrees out there. So I’m asking: does anyone have any suggestions? Am I bound to run with large swaths of fabric jammed into my crotch?
Anyway.
Lawyerish asked how we decided to get a dog, and why we opted for a pug. Truthfully, we always wanted a dog. I’ve always had cats, and would have considered myself more of a cat person, but in the interest of experiencing all pets except for goats, a dog seemed like a good idea. And honestly, thank God we got a dog, because if not, I could absolutely see myself spending all of my time at home with my 11 cats later in life, tottering around in my house slippers and wondering where Muffy got to, maybe behind the refrigerator? Now at least I will be able to mix it up with a couple of dogs who will get me out of the house.
It was always a given that we’d get a dog as soon as we bought a house, and as soon as we moved here, we started plotting. Unfortunately, I was going through a bit of anxiety at the time and channeled EVERY INCH of my angst into finding that dog, and made the process a little less fun than it could have been. In other words, I made it miserable by panicking that we would NEVER FIND A DOG AS LONG AS WE LIVED, and then realizing that if we did NOT find that dog IMMEDIATELY, I would never have a baby, ever. I can’t see the connection either, but there you have it. Dog, baby. Not sure. I got over it fast, though, so whatever.
The shelter vs. breeder question is one that comes up a lot, and one that I know both sides of, and researched the pants off of. Suffice it to say we were open to both avenues, and a breeder turned out to be the best decision for us, and one that I really suck at justifying, but I am comfortable with it.
Boston terriers and pugs topped the list, because they were both on the lazy side, and required little exercise, relatively speaking, compared to something like a Brittany Spaniel or Golden Retriever. Plus, honestly, they’re small enough that they get a truckload of exercise just running around the house, though this is infinitely more applicable to pugs than Bostons, who benefit from a lot more running around outside. They also had the added bonus of being reasonably compact, small dogs, yet relatively indestructible. I could not handle living with a highly breakable dog, given that I am immeasurably clumsy, and the dog would doubtless spend the first few months of his life in some sort of traction after I fell on her and broke her legs. Plus, truth be told, I’ve always loved smooshy-faced dogs who snort and snuffle.
And, after a long search that involved finding a Boston and naming her a dirty name , then not being able to bring home said dog, who narrowly escaped being a pundenda, we ended up focusing on pugs and coming home with Sunny.
Pugs are the weirdest little dogs in the world. They snort, snuffle, wheeze and snore like the dickens. I’ve never been near her and not realized she was there – she is a loud breather, and snuffles, creaks and snarfs everything within range, and once in a while, she lets out a large, cleansing breath out through her nose, sending pugsnot all over the room, and all over you, if you happen to be close enough. Her wrinkles always have shit in them, and we’re constantly cleaning her face of whatever mischief she’s gotten into (and it’s a lot). She spreads water all over the floor when she drinks, and a few ounces are always left hanging about in her wrinkles, which trickle out all over the place as she runs away from her dish. And the shedding! Oh my sweet lord, the shedding. She makes our cat seem like a sphynx.
We knew they were social dogs, and needed a lot of attention, but I had no idea just how much she would need to be near us. She follows me everywhere, the little clickclick of her nails just barely rising above the snorfling and occasional horking gag if she drinks too much, too fast. Until recently, she was SunnoDestructo, chewing and eating everything in her path and running up and down the stairs in a mad dash until she collapsed. In the last few weeks, though, she’s become quite the lovemuffin, and her favorite thing in the world is to snuggle up with you on the couch, her little head nestled as close to your face as possible, so that she can snarf and snore loud enough that you can’t hear the television.
In short, she’s awesome.
And this was long, and likely boring as hell, I’m sorry. I get a little overly earnest about dogs. Dogs are magic!
*White Stripes
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
23 Comments Add your own
1. Lawyerish | January 4th, 2007 at 7:23 am
Aw. Yay! Dogs really ARE magic, and Sunny is damn adorable. I never knew until I met my husband, who at the time had a very rambunctious pug, that pugs were so LOUD and so SNORTY. It’s charming, of course, and pugs have huge personalities, which I love, but the pug hair. OH MY GOD. I’ve never seen shedding like that. I hope you have a Dyson Animal.
But, of course, it’s all worth it.
Also, honey. I hate to tell you, but you are going to have to invest in running shorts. I know everyone thinks they’re obscenely short, but when you can run for an hour without once having to pull fabric out of your nethers, you will be thankful for that short-short-ness. Also, they’re not tight, so they’re not obscene or anything, unlike spandex, which is the bane of all our existences.
2. jonniker | January 4th, 2007 at 7:41 am
Oh, Ish, I was afraid you were going to say that. I mean, the fabric bunching is going to cause CHAFING, for crying out loud, so it’s either that or Butt’r, I guess.
I suppose I should just be thankful you didn’t recommend spandex.
3. Christine | January 4th, 2007 at 7:54 am
I’ve go suggestions for the running, as I wear pants to the gym to 1. avoid looking like a lardass, and 2. even sexier – to avoid shaving my legs. I am lazy, and it is winter. Boyfriend be damned.
Also? I LOVE LOVE LOVE that pic of Sunny. Gah so cute. We’ll probably get a dog after we move into a place without a spiral staircase, as they caused my sister’s dog great misery and confusion.
4. Christine | January 4th, 2007 at 7:55 am
“go suggestions” = NO suggestions.
English major. Yep.
5. jes | January 4th, 2007 at 8:15 am
I loved your description of Sunny and all her snarfling quirks. It almost makes ME want a pug. Almost.
As for the riding of the shorts, no comment. I wear capri-length pants from Target, which completely alleviate that problem.
6. Jamie | January 4th, 2007 at 8:46 am
I love Sunny! I am going to steal her and bring her to Chicago to play with Doc.
I second the suggestion of capris. I, too, am bigger in the hips and thighs and after YEARS of mandatory hot pants, I’m all about the capris. They disguise a multitude of sins.
7. jonniker | January 4th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Jamie and Jes: Running in capris? Really? I won’t sweat my ass off (literally)? What about (oh my God) bunching and chafing there?
8. whoorl | January 4th, 2007 at 9:21 am
These are the best…no riding up and they cover everything that should be covered (at least for me)
http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=18052&pid=432992
9. whoorl | January 4th, 2007 at 9:23 am
These are good for fat days…and as long as I wear a tank top, I don’t get hot
http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=18052&pid=323228
10. Leigh a/k/a Bellydancer | January 4th, 2007 at 9:53 am
What a perfectly puggy description– and describes my puglet to a “T” also. Always happy to see pictures of Sunny.
My puggy also loves to cuddle up UNDER the covers. In fact, all I have to do is lift the covers suggestively and she will come running and cuddle up next to me under the blanket.
And, of course, she snores.
11. Jen W. | January 4th, 2007 at 10:22 am
As someone who trained for a marathon in South Florida with the bane of large thighs, I can fully attest to the wonderfulness that are Nike running capri pants. Yes, seriously.
Nike makes these fantastic running pants that come to just below the knee. They’re stretchy, very thin, and have mesh parts to let air go through. Plus a little pocket on the back of the waistband.
I wore those bitches almost every day and in the marathon and they are great.
And, that picture of Sunny is adorable.
12. lizgwiz | January 4th, 2007 at 10:35 am
What an adorable dog. Pugs are sooooo cute. Even with the snorfling. Maybe even because of the snorfling. I worked for a vet for a couple of years, and we had one elderly client with three of the fattest, oldest pugs you ever saw. They were adorable, but they were always slipping out of their collars, since their necks were so much wider than their little heads. Fortunately they couldn’t run very fast.
13. Suebob | January 4th, 2007 at 11:08 am
Goldie has a loooong nose (half greyhound) but she still blows snot, usually because she is so delighted to meet a new person that she gets excited and lets out a big old sneeze or two, right on their cute little velvet Christmas dress (yes, it happened).
14. Allison | January 4th, 2007 at 11:21 am
You can think I’m gross, if you will, but this stuff ROCKS. I love it.
http://www.soothingcare.com/soothingcare/products_chafing_gel.htm
It is a miracle invention and keeps the fat flab between the legs from rubbing together and getting raw. It was a godsend in China.
Your dog is so stinking cute!
15. Lawyerish | January 4th, 2007 at 11:45 am
Oh, yeah, along the lines of Allison’s suggestion, Bodyglide is a great way to ward off the horror of chafing, which on very long runs happens even with non-bunching running shorts. It goes on like a deodorant, which is kind of cool, and it doesn’t have a scent or anything.
16. jonniker | January 4th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Allison: I do not think you’re gross. I thank you.
Lawyerish, um, because of that Bodyglide link, I now live in fear of (oh my God) RUNNER’S NIPPLE, which sounds horrendous.
17. H | January 4th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Sunny is so cute.
My solution to the appearance/stench issues related to running is to buy a treadmill, put it in a dark corner of my basement within view of a TV, and exercise without spectators. I wear capris. They stay put. In my younger years, I did go to the gym but when you hit your mid-40′s, and after 2 kids, exercise is best done in private.
18. Allison | January 4th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Ew, my husband uses Bodyglide to stave off the Runner’s Nipple. BLEAH.
19. TwoBusy | January 4th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Thanks. I feel so much less skeeved now that we’ve moved on from fish parasites and the heartbreak of stankass to… um… wedging issues.
20. Moose | January 4th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I never thought I would be the sort of person to talk about my dog at length. Or say things like “Who’s a good roo-roo!” Or make little kissy noises. Then I got a dog.
I think these things are hardwired into the genetic code.
Your dog is absolutely adorable, by the way. I want to pick her up and carry her around like a baby.
21. Melissa | January 4th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
Sunny is gorgeous, and I know that snarfling honking you speak of. We have a couple of half-Boxers and I can’t fall asleep anymore unless I hear them snoring softly (who am I kidding, snoring to raise the roof) at the end of the bed.
P.S. Way to introduce reality to the nephew. Why shelter him?
22. metalia | January 4th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Oh, man… your poor nephew! That’s rough.
Also, Sunny is supercute; I do believe she’s smiling in that picture!
23. Carol | January 5th, 2007 at 6:40 am
Running shorts are the answer…so sorry. I agree with you – capris in the Florida heat will not work.
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