Bowl of Oranges
January 25th, 2007
First of all, Sam? Packing his knives and going? The level of aesthetic devastation is almost crippling, and to see him lose to a piddly little foamer like Marcel is crushing. And Ilan. Whatever, Ilan. I have to believe that on some level your frustration with Marcel is because you secretly WANT Marcel, and this isn’t the first time that crossed my mind, but truthfully, I always figured his crush was Sam. Hot Sam. Hot Sam with those damn tattoos. (Surely I’ve mentioned my tattoo fetish? No? Well, now you know. I love them on men. Well, anyone, really, but men. Sleeves. Yes.)
It was 65 tonight when I went for a swim, and when I walked into the pool in my hoodie and pants, there were people wearing puffy jackets and hooded sweatshirts and looking at me as though my mind was leaking out my ears, because this is winter! WINTER, you crazy swimmer! And yet, like any workout, when you get going, you’re not cold anymore.
However, part of me wonders if I shouldn’t have listened to them, because at least three times, for reasons unknown, I freaked myself out and thought there was an alligator in the pool with me. I hate that. I mean, dude, look, it’s irrational, because there’ s no way an alligator is going to just leap out of the filtration system and eat my feet off, but that has absolutely no bearing on how I behave in the water, particularly at night, which is usually when I’m swimming. I am also afraid of sharks at this time, and can often get myself into such a blind froth that I don’t breathe for too long and hyperventilate because great whites always hang out in small community pools.
Yes, this is lame, and I’m totally aware that this is lame. It’s been a busy week, and next week will be busier. I just couldn’t let that gynecologist post linger any longer. I’ll likely be answering some more questions from the way back machine (like last monthish? Right?) to make things easier for me without falling off the map completely, or leaving up old content about pap smears. No one should think about pap smears any more than is necessary. Tell that to the folks at Gardasil.
Have a great weekend.
*Bright Eyes. Man, oh man, I loathe him. But I do own the album, and what a giant mistake that was. Stuff it, Conor Oberst! STUFF IT.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
17 Comments Add your own
1. Jamie | January 25th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
I used to avoid the deep end of my aunt’s pool b/c I was afraid there was something down in the treacherous 5-foot depths that would swim up and snatch me away and eat me. Seriously. It’s the same complex I have when I have to turn off the basement lights, and then immediately run like hell upstairs so that no one “gets” me. I can’t explain it – it just is.
Oh, and puffy jackets in 65-degree weather? Whuuhhh?! I would be down there, running around stark naked and sweating.
2. sam | January 26th, 2007 at 6:40 am
I laughed so hard when I read this because I totally have that alligator/shark fear in the water at night. I always have, and usually when I swam by myself, I would end up getting out of the pool over it. Why do we let ourselves be consumed by those thoughts when there’s no way anything is going to get us? Weird, but funny.
3. TwoBusy | January 26th, 2007 at 7:39 am
You mean, like in the movie “Alligator” when the 30-foot gator sneaks into a pool, and then that night there’s a birthday party and one kid gets blindfolded and forced to “walk the plank” on the diving board, and just before he gets pushed in, the pool lights go on and you suddenly see this enormous reptile just waiting in the water..?
No, there’s absolutely no reason at all you should be thinking about things like that. Things like that hardly ever happen. Especially in Florida.
4. TwoBusy | January 26th, 2007 at 7:41 am
Btw: it was one (1) degree outside when I woke up this morning. Wind chill: -15.
You sure you don’t miss January in Boston?
5. Suebob | January 26th, 2007 at 8:35 am
1. Top Chef. What a mistake. I haven’t even seen the episode yet but boy is Mr Stapler hot about it. I haven’t seen him this wound up since the Angels traded Troy Glaus.
Isn’t Marcel’s hair…confectionary?
2. Swimming. I am with you there. I swam almost daily for years but I have a dread fear of the scary things in the deep end. I am not making this up – this was my routine: jump in the deep end, hyperventilating a bit. Do one lap kicking with the kickboard, head out of water, glancing down every once in a while. Do second lap with kickboard (why is a kickboard a good defense from pool monsters? I dunno) with my face IN the water, pulling it out when I was unable to breathe from the fear. One lap kicking, no kickboard, face in the water, calming down. THEN I could start to swim. Every day for years. My moronitude is unsurpassed, I believe.
6. Heather B. | January 26th, 2007 at 8:48 am
I didn’t get to see the Sam thing until last night, but OMG, I was devestated. And Marcel is such an effing a-hole.
The last thing I want to hear about is xanthan gum being put in my food. Bleh.
7. Jennifer | January 26th, 2007 at 9:00 am
I thought Sam’s hair actually looked better short. Strange, because he looked really hot with it longer!
My favorite had been Elia, but I thought her Marcel (boo) cheating comments at the end were out of line. She should have either gone all the way, and enumerated ways in which he cheated, or kept her mouth shut. BTW, as much as I dislike Marcel I don’t really think he cheated (unless he did something egregous (sp?) off camera) I think his moving pots around, turning burners off (possibly) is more due to carelessness and narcissim than actual intent to cheat.
8. Jen | January 26th, 2007 at 9:02 am
OMG, Top Chef! Ridiculous! But did you see Sam’s new shorter haircut? *swoon* He’ll have no problem getting food gigs after this show. After all, he was the “fan favorite,” too!
The thing that really bothered me about the last episode was when Elia and Ilan decided to sell out Marcel in a last-ditch attempt at saving themselves. Despite the fact that I also hate Marcel, that came off as unprofessional and amateurish, and it lowered them a few notches in my book. But I love that Sam didn’t participate in the end. He’s the much nobler contestant of them all.
9. jonniker | January 26th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Hell to the yes on Sam’s hair. SAM’S HAIR. Goddamn, he’s hot.
Also, TB: Ad is in Boston right now, and has called almost hourly to complain about how cold he is. Hate. He hates it.
10. Lauren | January 26th, 2007 at 10:15 am
I still have an irrational fear of pool drains. I think they’re going to suck me in, and can’t swim over them with my eyes open.
You’re opening Pandora’s Box by bringing up Top Chef! This season has been so polarizing, and all of the manufactured drama isn’t helping. Sam is HOT, but he’s an instigator. Elia deserved to be left twisting in the wind, Little Miss “Marcel’s Friend.” Hypocrite. Ilan has Serious Issues. Marcel…..wIth all of the editing, it’s hard to tell what he’s really like. I find myself sympathizing with him, I miss Harold.
That turned into a long comment!
11. Lauren | January 26th, 2007 at 10:16 am
And WORD about loathing Conor Oberst. Pretentious whiny-voiced adolescent.
12. jonniker | January 26th, 2007 at 10:21 am
Lauren: Yes, yes, you’re right, Sam is an instigator. And if I’m honest with myself, that shirt he has? The one that says “Mi Vida Loca” that he wears all the time? That makes me hate him. Also, he has skinny legs and is just a little too fashion-forward for me. And yet, he’s superhot.
I have issues with getting crushes on reality stars. Ryan Star from Rockstar: Supernova, as longtime readers can attest, was a major issue for me, as I loved him with the love of a rabid rockstar fan. And yet, at the end, I was over it.
I will get over Sam. I will. But anyway yes, yes and YES to Elia and the wind-twisting! I am so thankful they called bullshit on her remarks, because while Marcel sucks, he’s not THAT bad.
I recently read an interview with Chef Tom, and I get the distinct feeling that he didn’t like any of the contestants. And did anyone else get the feeling that Padma was not in line with the decision last night?
(Although Harold? WAS SO HOT. He was hot, too! Arrogant, New Yorky and superhot. Damn.)
13. Suebob | January 26th, 2007 at 11:52 am
I think Sam is just a bit too smug for his own good. I would like to take him down a peg, LOL. But you’re right. Harold. He seems like a good guy and a good chef. Not stunning like Sam, but probably more my type.
Ilan – total tool. And I will never get over the chocolate chicken livers. Some people have pointed out that he ALWAYS makes dishes that are served at the restaurant where he worked, Casa Mono – and the one time he has to think outside the box he made chocolate…gag…livers.
Elia – I would love to have her make me a meal. I wouldn’t trust her running a restaurant, though, because she is WAAAY too emotional.
Marcel – he’s a good cook. A bit of a dork and I can’t get over his Doctor Seuss hair, but I don’t hate him as much as the other contestants seemed to.
14. meredith | January 26th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
That first paragraph made my day…piddly little foamer….love it!
15. Jurgen Nation | January 26th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Sam packing his knives and going was, for me, akin to Chris being voted off AI last season. Clearly the most talented, clearly the ones who should have won, clearly the best looking. Not that the latter matters.
I say to myself that since Sam lost I’m not going to watch the finale because I don’t care anymore. Ilan, more talented than Sam? What?! Because he made a good dish one night? I fully expected to see Sam and Marcel in the finales. I don’t like Marcel’s cockiness but it seems he’s a talented cook. (Although…Xanthan Gum? Seriously?)
Ratings, I’m sure. It’s all about the ratings. AND IT SUCKS. Sweet, hot, Sam. *dreamy sigh*
16. Meg | January 28th, 2007 at 10:14 am
LMAO Hyperventilation is NOT a good thing! HEHe
17. Online Travel Guide&hellip | August 27th, 2007 at 1:14 am
Online Travel Guide
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed