As of this precise moment, it’s 11 degrees in Massachusetts, where I’ll be sleeping tomorrow night in full fleece pants, a hoodie, and definitely some some socks of the slipper variety. I mean, Jesus, I know I’m spoiled, but 11 degrees? Seriously? I don’t know how y’all do it. It will be in the 40s on Saturday, however, oh yes, it will. And I will still be freezing.
Per usual, the primary source of anxiety continues to be the flight, and the mere thought of getting on the plane kind of makes me want to cry, and, perhaps more anxiety-inducing is the PMS that’s making me have to pee somewhere in the range of every 3.1 seconds. This anxiety is further exacerbated by the fact that I am flying JetBlue, and despite promises of a customer’s bill of rights and all that happy hoo-ha, I am petrified of sitting on the tarmac for hours on end due to some freak ice storm. Of course, during these nine hours on the tarmac, I’ll have to go to the bathroom no fewer than 35 times, which will, of course, put the toilets over their capacity and then we’ll be flying and a chunk of blue ice will fall from the plane because I peed too much, landing on a group of retirees heading home to Minnesota. Retirees are dying, and it’s all my fault.
Truth be told, I think Adam’s a little bit thrilled to be rid of me, and I can’t say I blame him. As has been the case for the past few months, my PMS has been an odd sort of journey in the magic of mood swings, which leaves me giggling! Happy! Excited! one minute, and literally, not two minutes later, I’m inconsolable because the molecules in the air I’m breathing don’t meet my exact specifications. However, like a goldfish, within six or seven minutes, I can be cajoled out of weeping and within seconds, I’m happy! giggling! excited! again, which leaves everyone in my house, including the dog, completely reeling and perplexed and wondering Which Jonniker is Visiting Now? I’m doing my best to hide this fact, and I have my moments of sucking it up, but I’m even annoying myself this week, so believe me, it’s best for all parties involved that I’m fleeing the state into the care of someone else. If I could find a way to bottle the mean, confused and weepy personality and leave her here so that I can go to Boston, that would be great. I don’t want to be with her, either.
However, and I don’t know if it’s just me, but the moment, and I mean THE MOMENT, the, ah, PMS loses its ‘p’ I am almost euphoric, and back to my usual very happy self. Perhaps it’s my body’s way of making sure I’m happy to greet such a ridiculous nuisance into my life, because oh wow, I am. BRING ON THE NUISANCE.
However, this weekend, I’m a little on the excited side to see my friends and family, because I miss them terribly, and this weekend will be the first time I get to see everyone in such a condensed period of time, and I can’t wait, can’t wait, did I mention I can’t wait?
I hope you all have a great weekend, after which I will be happier! Less worky! PERKY!
*Augustana. The hell? Who are they? No matter.
12 comments March 8th, 2007