Boston
March 8th, 2007
As of this precise moment, it’s 11 degrees in Massachusetts, where I’ll be sleeping tomorrow night in full fleece pants, a hoodie, and definitely some some socks of the slipper variety. I mean, Jesus, I know I’m spoiled, but 11 degrees? Seriously? I don’t know how y’all do it. It will be in the 40s on Saturday, however, oh yes, it will. And I will still be freezing.
Per usual, the primary source of anxiety continues to be the flight, and the mere thought of getting on the plane kind of makes me want to cry, and, perhaps more anxiety-inducing is the PMS that’s making me have to pee somewhere in the range of every 3.1 seconds. This anxiety is further exacerbated by the fact that I am flying JetBlue, and despite promises of a customer’s bill of rights and all that happy hoo-ha, I am petrified of sitting on the tarmac for hours on end due to some freak ice storm. Of course, during these nine hours on the tarmac, I’ll have to go to the bathroom no fewer than 35 times, which will, of course, put the toilets over their capacity and then we’ll be flying and a chunk of blue ice will fall from the plane because I peed too much, landing on a group of retirees heading home to Minnesota. Retirees are dying, and it’s all my fault.
Truth be told, I think Adam’s a little bit thrilled to be rid of me, and I can’t say I blame him. As has been the case for the past few months, my PMS has been an odd sort of journey in the magic of mood swings, which leaves me giggling! Happy! Excited! one minute, and literally, not two minutes later, I’m inconsolable because the molecules in the air I’m breathing don’t meet my exact specifications. However, like a goldfish, within six or seven minutes, I can be cajoled out of weeping and within seconds, I’m happy! giggling! excited! again, which leaves everyone in my house, including the dog, completely reeling and perplexed and wondering Which Jonniker is Visiting Now? I’m doing my best to hide this fact, and I have my moments of sucking it up, but I’m even annoying myself this week, so believe me, it’s best for all parties involved that I’m fleeing the state into the care of someone else. If I could find a way to bottle the mean, confused and weepy personality and leave her here so that I can go to Boston, that would be great. I don’t want to be with her, either.
However, and I don’t know if it’s just me, but the moment, and I mean THE MOMENT, the, ah, PMS loses its ‘p’ I am almost euphoric, and back to my usual very happy self. Perhaps it’s my body’s way of making sure I’m happy to greet such a ridiculous nuisance into my life, because oh wow, I am. BRING ON THE NUISANCE.
However, this weekend, I’m a little on the excited side to see my friends and family, because I miss them terribly, and this weekend will be the first time I get to see everyone in such a condensed period of time, and I can’t wait, can’t wait, did I mention I can’t wait?
I hope you all have a great weekend, after which I will be happier! Less worky! PERKY!
*Augustana. The hell? Who are they? No matter.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
10 Comments Add your own
1. Schnozz | March 8th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Awww, you just hurt Augustana’s feelings. Now they’re going to have to write a song about how you don’t know them, you don’t even care. Wait, they already did. (I like that song, BTW, I’m a sucker for the piano.)
Have lots of fun in Boston! And remember, flying a plane is very, very easy. If I can do it, they can do it. Safely for all involved.
2. Melissa | March 8th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Jesus, everyone must be PMSing at once, because that’s all I’ve heard (and experienced) over the last couple days. I think it’s the double whammy of PMS and winter (or SAD, if you’re so inclined) that’s the problem. Just tonight I teared up over a commercial, laughed with my husband and friend, and became furious with our car’s water pump.
Have a wonderful, wonderful time in Boston! The P will disappear, your flight will be smooth as silk, and you get to see family and friends. Enjoy!
3. Sadie | March 9th, 2007 at 7:54 am
Yeah, I am wearing my winter coat in my office right now in Massachusetts. Over two shirts. But yay! It’s going to “warm up” to the forties tomorrow, which is practically t-shirt weather. *snort*
Have a safe flight and a great time visiting your peeps. And, just curiously, why would the blue pee ice from a flight from Florida to Boston hit retirees heading to Minnesota? Is this like a word problem?
4. Amanda | March 9th, 2007 at 9:49 am
Ack! Fear of flight. So, so much fear. Now with two kids there is no hope of numbing things with liquor or simply slipping into a Dramamine oblivion. Must use iPod and white knucling as a crutch to see me through, that and the terror of having my girls pitch fits that will have me ejected from the flight or worse, have my breastfeeding incite the ire of those who find feeding your child in this way to be obscene. Now things are even worse because I was going to try and be slick and leave a song or artist in response to Augustana and I thought, hmmm, Leaving on a Jetplane, that’s cool. But then I thought, oh dear, mustn’t look like a dork who doesn’t know that the Chantal Kreviazuk version I listen to is a cover. So I searched for the original artist. John Denver. great. Wait. Shit, didn’t he die on a plane? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Such a music tool am I. Damnit. So now, wrenched up in a ball of flight and music hysteria and realizing I look like a bigger ass now than I would have if I had just left it at Chantal.
Sometimes my sucktitude knows no end. Hope your P issues work themselves out.
5. Mauigirl52 | March 9th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Sympathies to you (and Adam) for your PMS. If it makes you feel any better, the poet Edna St. Vincent Millay even wrote a poem about this problem, called “Menses.” You can read it on this link, it’s about halfway down the page:
http://www.geocities.com/juscurious/millayad1.html
Good luck on your flight. I recently flew to and from Australia, and both going and coming it was in the middle of an ice storm. Luckily I was on Qantas, not Jet Blue, so I got there without drastic delay!
6. Debbie in the UK | March 9th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Just wanted to tell you I got front row tickets for The Police today!!! They are coming to my home town and I am SOOOO excited. (Just wanted to tell someone who might appreciate how GREAT this is.)
Debbie
7. clickmom | March 9th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Jet Blue? Charge your cell phone, ipod, lap top, etc… and be sure to pack snacks. The beverages you’ll have to purchase after passing through security or pack 1.5 oz beverages in quart sized zip lock bags, but that seems over the top, no?
8. Shellie | March 10th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Welcome back to Boston!
9. Amanda | March 10th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Hope you survived the cold weather and enjoyed the north.
The older I get, the more anxious a flyer I am. I wish there were a way to just beam ourselves to our desired destinations.
10. jenika | March 11th, 2007 at 5:25 am
Boston is a lovely city, but sometime it’s so cold!
Do you think that PMS is an important contributor to your quarter life crisis?
I’m not sure how to get rid of my PMS too…
cool website to check out btw: http://www.twentish.com
you might enjoy sharing your stuff on there.
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