Foggy Notion

Well.

So.

The ah, Diva Cup? Seriously? After yesterday‘s post, there were two commenters, and no fewer than six (SIX) e-mails extolling the praises of the Diva Cup, which…well, I don’t know, because it’s oddly compelling, yet entirely repugnant at the same time. Although I have to say, it spooks me a tad less than when my friend K. insisted that The Keeper was for me, because it’s called THE KEEPER. What exactly is a keeper? It sounds like I want to keep whatever’s going in there, like it’s a unique sort of collection plate, which no one does, unless they’re some sort of strange fetishist, and I can’t believe I even allowed my feeble little mind to go there, but I just did. And, ah, now that I ponder it more deeply, Diva Cup has the same implication, and ‘cup’ is quickly becoming one of those words that I add to my list of Words I’ll Never Say Out Loud, holding a special place next to ‘moist’.

I never really stop grossing myself out. But first, I’ll take you with me, because, really Keeper people: brown? Is brown really necessary? (Photo courtesy of our friends at The Keeper, and would you believe they encourage people to take it? Ahem.)

Oh my God. It’s awful. The brown is awful. Everything about it is wildly bizarre, and yet again, oddly compelling, because THE CONVENIENCE would be overwhelming. Also, I am kind of questioning the argument that tampons are overtaking landfills by the legion, because really, they’re SO TINY, and also made of cotton, and since I only use biodegradable applicators and wrappers, I think I’m in the clear, as I am a Tampax loyalist all the way. However, by TheKeeper/Moon/Diva people’s logic, I should be using reusable toilet paper, perhaps made of washable silicone sheets.

Update: As Beth points out, there is a LiveJournal message board about Menstrual Cups. Where people post threads celebrating their anniversaries with the item, and some people also discuss the transition from CLOTH PADS.

CLOTH. PADS.

I am at a loss. And sufficiently humbled. And also, horrifying male readers by the truckload.

Even though I really just don’t know what else to say, because this whole thing is the lowest I’ve ever sunk, we can’t end with the thought of a reusable menstrual cup AND reusable toilet paper. So…is it just me, or does bald American Idol contestant look like a pedophile? I fully expect to find him on To Catch a Predator in a few years. THE EARS. OH MY GOD, THE EARS. And the eyebrows. And the smarmy everything. And he’s a parent, oh holy smarminess.

*The Velvet Underground

101 comments March 13th, 2007