Disorder
April 12th, 2007
I have a house full of people. Lots and lots of people, and more people are coming tomorrow, and while it’s fine – really, it’s totally fine – I think what’s most exhausting is that I’m never alone, not for one second, which makes me want to do weird things, like grab the first flight to a big city and wear cute shoes and wander the streets by myself, alone in the crowd with nothing but music in my ears.
New music! In my iPod, which will now be very full, very shortly, thanks to everyone. Really – thank you. I’ve had time to listen to exactly zero of your recommendations, but I’ll say that I’m pretty excited about it. Ooh ooh, and that song I referred to? It’s here, along with a few others. Go on and have a listen. Pretty! And heartbreaking. And it really makes me want to – you guessed it – be miraculously transported to a very large city wearing cute shoes and wandering the streets the way I did when I was 25 and start it all over again, just for one day.
“Just let me be here. I won’t tell anyone…” Le sigh. First, I need cute shoes.
What would you guys have done if I just printed the entire lyrics of the song with some seriously emo photo of myself – maybe in black eyeliner – with a tear emphasized by the macro setting? Could you imagine? Because I can, and every time it actually happens anywhere else, I ponder killing myself, very slowly, maybe with a soup spoon.
Yesterday I got into someone else’s car for the second time, which means it might be time to get rid of the black Honda Accord, because apparently the streets are rife with them. Yes, yes, the one I got into was green, and a totally different year, but it was overcast. Also, I may have taken a sip of someone else’s diet Pepsi while trying to figure out why my key wouldn’t go into the ignition before I looked around and realized hey, this interior is…gold…and mine is…gray. And oh holy shit, this is not my Pepsi. I mean, I’m not saying definitely, I’m just saying it’s possible.
In other, infinitely less gross news, dude, I’m small. Or at least smaller. And while I don’t really want to go into sordid details, let’s just say I’ve lost a Sunny and a half, and given that I’ve got 13 left, um, that’s a little frightening, in kind of a mixed good/bad way. What I think is most upsetting is that my clothes fit better. A lot better. Which to me definitely means I had no business wearing them at a Sunny and a half heavier. No no, I did not. I am, however, regretting not taking a “before” picture, which would never be for public consumption (No Flickr. Never.), oh my God, although I can say that it wouldn’t have been in a folding chair wearing a muumuu with a plate full of potato salad and a plastic fork (why?).
Also, oh my GOD, I can’t believe I forgot to mention this, and it involves, um, the Moon Cup. Again. But this is important, because nothing says “I love the Moon Cup!” like a UTI, which is what I was graced with earlier in the week. And while normally, pissing razor blades is something I like to keep to myself (or not), did you know that the Keeper people acknowledge that this is a potential side effect of sorts? I KNEW it was blooming too close to important parts, I just KNEW IT. However, let it be known that I am extremely susceptible to these sorts of things, scoring my first one at age 13, which prompted The Sex Talk from my mother, to my endless humiliation and horror, because how else could I have gotten a UTI? From some wild escapade in the back of a GTI, of course. When except, um, no. That wouldn’t be until much later. (Oh yes. At a drive-in movie. Because I was classy like that, even at 16.)
Anyway, um, the Moon Cup is a risk factor for UTIs. However, some of us are on prophylactic antibiotics and can prevent such things, at least when we remember to take them. But consider yourself warned.
Have a great weekend.
*Joy Division
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
20 Comments Add your own
1. Melanie | April 12th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Oh, wow. Someone else’s car and someone else’s Pepsi. Maybe you need seat covers? In hot pink tiger stripes or something, so you can tell right away if it’s your car or not.
2. page | April 12th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Crap! UTI’s were a once-a-month occurrence for me when I was younger. here I was, singing the praises of my Diva Cup today… I’ll have to be careful.
SNORT! I did the same with my old Escort, down to getting in the car using my key and throwing my purse in the back seat, which, ew, was covered in hair and potato chip fragments, Ew.
I am looking to you for inspiration, as I have fallen off the WW wagon and was asked yesterday if i was expecting. I told her, yes, I was expecting to drink heavily after her comment, if that’s what she was wondering. For the love of chicken wings, I want to look good in a bathing suit this summer. Thanks for the reminder that it IS possible.
3. carol | April 13th, 2007 at 4:31 am
I’m so proud of you!! I have also fallen from the WW wagon. NOOOOO swimsuits without lovely old lady skirts for me this year!
You look great. Absolutely great. Now all you need to do is finish and get pregnant. I LOVE being a woman!
4. Claire | April 13th, 2007 at 5:25 am
NOOO!! No UTIs.. I REFUSE to get another UTI. There was a stretch there that my doctor must have thought there was something very special about me that i couldn’t prevent a recurring UTI. I WILL NOT GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR FOR A UTI THEY THINK I’M DIRTY.
Um, but i still wanna try my DivaCup at least once before i decide that it is toxic to my girl parts.
Also, the car? That’s just awful. I could just imagine the real owner walking up as your getting out of their car… wow.
5. TwoBusy | April 13th, 2007 at 5:40 am
a. Love the Joy Division reference.
b. You’re lucky that you didn’t get in the car of a tobacco chewer. That might not’ve been Pepsi.
c. What was the movie?
6. -r- | April 13th, 2007 at 5:44 am
Have fun with all your visitors.
Personally, I would LOVE the emo picture. Hilarious. Especially if you were serious.
7. Spring | April 13th, 2007 at 7:09 am
I totally got my first UTI when I was 17, and it coincided horribly (and coincidentally) with my first serious boyfriend. I was also horrified when my mom told me that my doctor suggested to her I must be sexually active, and that’s how I got it. I wasn’t. I GOT IT FROM ALL THAT SPANDEX I WAS WEARING and the consequential thongs. You can’t wear spandex without a thong.
I was on a dance team, okay?
I swear up and down right now that when my daughter (if I have one) gets her first UTI, I will not assume she’s having sex.
8. jonniker | April 13th, 2007 at 7:17 am
TB: Not to repeat myself from the e-mail brigade, but in case anyone thinks I’m ignoring you, it was totally Batman. Gawd.
9. winterwheat | April 13th, 2007 at 9:54 am
Wow, thanks for the UTI heads-up. And sorry you’re susceptible! I’ve never had one and don’t want to get one, so I’ll be extra careful with my DivaCup.
And congrats on the loss of a Sunny and a half! If you lost that weight, someone else has to find it. Right? Because matter is neither created nor destroyed, right? Hmm.
Speaking of matter–and back to the unsavory topic of menstrual cups–even with the UTI risk I am a cup convert, for one additional reason I didn’t mention on my blog. It makes AF’s visit a few days shorter. The reason? Bear with me… okay, I’ll just say it: Tampons leave behind traces of cotton that then have to, er, migrate down and out. And that takes a day or two. So this past month was the first time in my life I’ve had a FOUR-DAY period. Thank you Jonna for acting as conduit for the Cup Lovers of the World to persuade me to join their ranks.
10. Ms. X | April 13th, 2007 at 11:09 am
Just so you know, as soon as I have people come to visit (and I do LOVE to see them), I’m ready to have my space back again. I like seeing people I don’t get to normally, but I also don’t like to have to be all social and hostessy all the time. It takes to much energy thinking about other people’s needs and trying to decipher want they want and what might make them happy at every second. Yikes. Time for lunch. I wish I were wearing cute shoes.
11. Sadie | April 13th, 2007 at 11:27 am
The thought of drinking someone else’s Diet Pepsi makes me faint.
Who are you people that don’t lock your cars??
And um, Winterwheat, wtf kind of tampons are you using that leave debris behind? I am going to suggest you go down a notch, absorbency-wise, because I don’t think that’s supposed to happen.
12. Suebob | April 13th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
I got me a new car! A distinctive, bright blue Honda Fit! So now I can have a Fit every day. Stupid, I know. But the car is cute.
When I had a silver Ford Escort, I was always walking up to other people’s cars. But I never got in. And I would have noticed the Pepsi, since I only drink coffee out of my big mutant travel mug.
13. Jennifer | April 13th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I was just thinking this morning about emailing you to crow about the WW Core Plan (yet again). I weighed in at 129 today — first time under 130 in *ten years.* And, you know, for me at least, seeing the momentum of the weight loss, and noticing the looser-fitting pants really motivates me to keep on keeping on. Now I’m not even tempted by those pastries at the coffeeshop, because I’m SO psyched about the Core Plan results. (So I just say, “one triple-tall nonfat latte, and hold the pastries, please.”)
14. Meepers | April 13th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Oh…I SO need to lose a “Sunny and a half” (or in my case, two Fynns and an Edie) – ugh. I *knew* there was a catch to the Moon Cup – bummer! I totally had the, erm, “coincidental” UTI when I was 18 and had finally done the Dirty with my boyfriend. Thank god only a few since then.
15. Bianca | April 14th, 2007 at 6:34 am
I have a ’97 Honda Civic, and there are many similar cars scooting about my town, and at least one other Civic in my very own apartment complex. I have many, many, many times gone to a car similar to mine and tried to open it with my keys. Fortunately, no gross Pepsi incidents, because I’ve never managed to get inside.
Now I just have to remember to look for the little plush gecko hanging from my rearview mirror.
16. Swistle | April 15th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Someone else’s Pepsi– SO funny.
UTIs from Moon Cup– OH MY GOD. This is very important news indeed. And do you know, I had the exact same thing with my mom: I was 14 when I got my first one, and she FREAKED OUT all the way home, talking to me about premarital sex. I hadn’t even been KISSED yet. But she was SURE.
UTIs. Crap, I don’t know if I can handle that….”side effect.” It’s like finding out that a possible side effect of a dandruff shampoo is decapitation.
No, I still want to try the cup. But I’m keeping my doctor on speed-dial.
17. Aim | April 15th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
1. I once got into the wrong car, too. I unlocked the door with my key & got in. Fortunately, there were no refreshments available, so that wasn’t an issue, but I was good & freaked out & called the dealership to freak out at someone. Guy at dealership (Mitsu) told me that there are only about a half a dozen keys for any given model. Oh. Good. I feel much more secure now.
2. UTIs — I once had one at the same time I was getting my hair cornrowed (with lots of extensions, because I am a white girl). It took a long time. Wow. That was an experience.
3. Can we talk some more about the cute shoes? Specifics, please.
18. Website Templates and Web&hellip | August 14th, 2007 at 5:21 am
Website Templates and Web Design, Graphic Layouts
Sorry, it just sounds like a crazy idea for me
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