Don’t Tell Her

May 21st, 2007

First, thanks for the bra recommendations. I love the Internet for things like this, because honestly, you get the best advice! A professional fitting! Gap! Ross (Dress for Less)! Incidentally, until I moved to Florida, I’d never *heard* of Ross, and I think I’ve set foot in it all of once, and I think it was to use the restroom. Ditto Stein Mart. Do y’all have Stein Mart? The whole “Once you go, you get it” tagline never rang true for me, because I most certainly didn’t get it, and was quite, quite certain that they were hiding a cache of beer steins somewhere in there, as indicated by the name, and what were shoes doing in a beer stein store? Why? I didn’t get it, despite going. Up yours, Stein Mart.

Enter non-sequitur: I love my job – really, I do. I rarely have the kind of day (save for Mike’s Day) where I need a stiff drink to calm down at the end of it, however, today was that day. The kind, trusting soul who gave me superuser access to our company website might want to rethink their judgment skills, because for a good hour and a half today, HOO BOY I SCREWED THINGS UP. Yes, yes, I fixed them, but there were some harrowing moments, and for those of you who didn’t know, WordPress isn’t how the rest of the Internet works. The real Internet is much, much harder.

Non-sequitur #2: I feel fairly certain that I’ve mentioned that I’m a marketer’s wet dream. I am a sucker for all things advertising – I see a commercial for Pizza Hut, and five minutes later, I’m commenting to Adam that gee, we haven’t been to Pizza Hut for a while, and we should go this weekend! I find myself repeating marketing information about beauty products (“It’s easy AND breezy, you see…”), and with the right campaign, I can be convinced to buy almost anything.

Enter FizzyFruit. It’s totally designed for kids, and yes, it’s the most gimmicky thing I’ve ever seen, but after reading an article about its totally fun effervescence and naturally carbonated zing (I was feeling the FIZZ: Fun, Inspiration, Zest and Zip!), I was totally on board, and bought some fizzy grapes for breakfast this morning, and really, um, how gross. Fizz does not make half-dead grapes fun OR inspirational, and yet again, I’m crushed by the repeated realization that marketing does not equal reality. Because I am five years old, and haven’t yet learned this lesson.

Non-sequitur #3: I’ve been mildly irked by Lori McKenna all day. I like her – really I do. Sort of. I’ve had Paper Wings & Halo for many years, after I happened to catch her in concert at what my lesbian friend referred to as “Screaming Lesbian Fest 2003,” despite the fact that there were very few lesbian performers and/or attendees. However, she was a lesbian, and she planned to scream, and I guess that’s all that really mattered.

Anyway, Lori was great, very down to earth, nice songs, lovely, whatever. Except, has anyone ever heard her speak? She sounds like me! Which is a dumb thing to say, given that this isn’t an audio blog, but I have a soft, small, unaccented voice, and really, the idea that I’d break out with some sort of nasally country drawl is just laughable, and I didn’t buy it coming from Lori, either. This has always nagged me a little, which is meaningless in any context, but I feel slightly better getting it out there.

Non-sequitur #4: Jesus, Heroes. That’s how you do a television finale. It was exciting, satisfying and somewhat unpredictable, but most importantly, it was thoroughly enjoyable, and I ended the episode with a great deal of enthusiasm for next season. And imagine that, you didn’t have to leave me embittered and angry, manipulated by some sort of wild unrequited love story. *glares in general direction of Grey’s Anatomy*

Happy Tuesday!

*Lori McKenna. I’ve had it in my head all day, hence the ramble.

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