Hanging Upside Down
August 6th, 2007
Hello! I’ve just consumed three pounds of meat, how are you? Because the thing with Pioneer Woman’s lasagna is that it is MEE-TAY. Meat! Lots and lots of meat! I’ve never seen so much meat in one place, actually, and for that reason alone, I’m not sure I’d make it exactly the same way again, although I will admit that my preference is for a saucy lasagna, and this ain’t saucy, it’s MEATY! MEATY! MEATY!, did I mention it’s MEEAAATTTY?
I understand why Ree needs such a meaty lasagna, given that she and the family are all up before dawn and work on a ranch all day doing things like chasing cows and riding horses and doing things that require sweating. I’ll bet that works up a meaty appetite, and that at least, dear God, you burn off some of those meaty, meaty calories working on a ranch. But a writer and a technology geek do not need an extra … meat, because our lives are quite sedentary, and typin’ doesn’t burn the same amount of calories as ranchin’. And there certainly isn’t any sweating, as evidenced by what I fear are … headlights in all the wrong places due to subzero working conditions.
In the meantime, a plea to the good folks at Merrick cat foods: please, and I do mean please, stop making your cans so difficult to open. Today, in fact, while I struggled for a solid three minutes to figure out how to open a container of Southern Delight, the entire container exploded and shot all over me and it was, essentially, like being doused in vomit. That was awesome, and may actually have been the highlight of my day. I would also like it if you could do something about the fact that the second, and I mean THE VERY SECOND, I dump the dirty cat litter into the garbage bag, my cat places his ass into the empty litterbox and lets loose with approximately 11,000 ounces of urine.
Honestly, I’m talking about fluff, because the very idea of imagining my house on the market and a whole bunch of other things going on are making me want to poke my eyes out with giant pointy things, because … well, I’m just feeling very overwhelmed right now, with everything, and most of it is going to be fine, but I’m just … I’m just a little overwhelmed, but this, too, shall pass. And mercifully, for better or worse, things always work out the way their supposed to, don’t they? Adam and I were saying today that one of the best things about getting old will be to take a look at the paths that everything took; to map out your life in retrospect, and understand that yes, sometimes things do work out for a reason you don’t know yet. That will be cool, I guess, but in the immortal words of Jordin Sparks, this is my now (I should have realized before, but is there a more inane lyric out there? Is there? Oh, American Idol. What were you thinking?), and sometimes – don’t tell anyone – I can be impatient.
In the meantime, please someone keep me off of Realtor.com and Zillow and whatever, just PRY MY FINGERS FROM THE KEYBOARD.
Anyway. Since I have an affinity for all things perfumed, I should say that I never shy away from complimenting someone on their fragrance, and really, nothing irritates me more than someone who refuses to share it, like it’s some sort of secret, and no one else will find that perfume! Ever! NEVER! Today, however, embarrassingly enough, I caught a delightful whiff of a woman’s perfume as she was exiting the restroom stall, and really, there couldn’t be a less inappropriate time to compliment someone, though I will admit, I am grateful that it was that I smelled, instead of other, more natural odors.
(Aside: I don’t wear much perfume anymore. It’s too strong on me. But I still collect it.)
And finally: Alby Grant! As prophet! Nicki gambling! Oh Big Love. You’re making up for everything Big Brother is lacking.
Happy Tuesday!
*David Byrne. I always thought he was Scottish or … something … but it turns out, no! No! He was raised in America! That explains a lot, but still, does he not seem … foreign to you? And also – also! – he does the music for Big Love? Because he does. And the whole scene with the guitars and Nicki with the money and everything was obvious, yes, but it was also pure genius.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
19 Comments Add your own
1. Cassidy | August 6th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
I love perfume too. I find though that when I tell people that they smell good, they think that I am hitting on them. Even when it’s a girl. I seem to get this odd look like it’s crazy that I would tell them that I liked how they smelled. So, I have stopped. I don’t even try to ask what they are wearing.
2. karamarie | August 6th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
It sounded meaty to me when I read the recipe, and that is precisely why I will make it sometime–my husband isn’t a pasta fan and loves meaty meaty meatiness. I miss lasagnea. I’m hoping it’ll be a compromise.
3. Christine | August 7th, 2007 at 4:45 am
LOVE the perfume. So did the stall lady not tell you what she was wearing? I find that so silly. I love getting complimented and asked. Even if it then causes me to ramble on about how much I love this bottle! or sample! and if you act now you can get it at X discounter for a song, a SONG I tell you!
Because maybe I am socially awkward.
I also prefer a saucy lasagna. Plus Ree throws me off with the cottage cheese. I love my ricotta.
4. jonniker | August 7th, 2007 at 4:48 am
Christine: I was too scared to ask stall lady! It seemed so … inappropriate, as I was heading into her stall. Also, re: the lasagna, made it with ricotta instead of the cottage cheese. And it really could have used more.
5. AndreAnna | August 7th, 2007 at 5:02 am
I have found that no matter how good a perfume smells on someone else, it will smell like rabbit urine on me. Or they lie to me when they tell me what brand it is, I have found a few I stick to – Ralph, Shi (alfred sung), Nollie.
6. jonniker | August 7th, 2007 at 5:37 am
AndreAnna: At the risk of sounding like a bad knockoff advertiser, if you like Shi, have you tried Sha? (It’s also Alfred Sung.) While Shi is too watery on me, Sha is beautiful lilac with a light, clear musk. Oh, it’s lovely. And, I think, sadly discontinued, but available at discounters online.
7. Heather B. | August 7th, 2007 at 5:46 am
Thank you for telling the ending of Big Love! I fell asleep about 5 minutes after they ended up at the “gaming center”. Gracias!
Also, email coming your way…in 2.8 seconds.
8. Joni | August 7th, 2007 at 6:16 am
While I enjoy a nice whiff of a pleasant fragrance, unfortunately, in the corporate dungeon where I work there are no nice smelling perfumes wafting about- instead its the cheap, heavy, vanderbuilt-esque molecules that seep under my door and accost me whenever any of the mail people walk by. Then I get a headache and curse the fragrance gods for once again exposing me to what I believe to be designer imposters circa 87 and giving me a perfume headache the rest of the day. One lady’s perfume is so bad that I have my friends email me to alert me when she is coming to my office as the scent is so strong, I can taste it. Ack! Just thinking about it makes me think I can smell it.
Anyhoo- good luck with all the stresses in your life right now. My mom’s favorite saying is “this too shall pass” and it usually helps one get through it. She also likes to say at least you have legs as a way to put it in perspective- not as helpful I must say.
9. Laurel | August 7th, 2007 at 7:11 am
I am so glad I’m not alone on the ricotta thing–it validates me and I like that.
As for perfume–I hate people who won’t share. It’s so aggravating but it’s also that much more gratifying when you figure out what they were wearing, especially when it’s something obvious.
Anyway, I wear Lolita Lempicka and Burberry Brit Red (not together of course!) and I have to admit, I was drawn to Lolita because of the bottle (it’s an apple and the stem is the spritzer part.) It’s delish.
10. Suebob | August 7th, 2007 at 7:29 am
I wish I wasn’t so sensitive to smells. I would love, love, love to be able to appreciate perfumes and colognes but so many of them hurt me. Walking though the perfume department gives me a headache that lasts for hours. It feels exactly like when you smack your head hard on something.
I can smell stuff from far away, too. I often know what kind of laundry detergent people use, what kind of hair products, whether they smoke…from about 10 feet away.
The interesting thing is that natural scents don’t hurt me, and I can walk into the all-natural aromatherapy store without fear. It’s just the artificial stuff that kills me.
11. Jennifer | August 7th, 2007 at 9:14 am
DId you see Nickie’s eyes light up during the gambling? I was thinking “whoa, Bill is it a good idea to take someone with a previous shopping addiction to a casino?” (oopps, I mean a “gaming center”)
12. ali | August 7th, 2007 at 9:53 am
haven’t watched big love yet this week…i hope it was better than last week!
13. whitney | August 7th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
My stepmom makes a very MEATY lasagna and I was overwhelmed by the meaty-ness of it all the first time I ate it. I’m talking beef meet AND pork meat ALL ROLLED INTO ONE! I myself prefer more of a cheese-laden lasagna, cause that’s how my mama makes it.
p.s. I don’t have cable? But I want to watch Big Love? And am starting with the first season on DVD? Is it good all the way through?
14. Jamie | August 8th, 2007 at 6:22 am
Eerie! I just made that lasagna last night! Will get back to you on the meaty-ness after we have it at girl’s night tonight.
15. Her Bad Mother | August 8th, 2007 at 7:19 am
David Byrne is not from the UK? (furrows brow)
Also, who can eaty meaty lasagna in the dead heat of summer? Doesn’t your stomach explode or something? (But, mmm, meat.)
16. LauraH | August 8th, 2007 at 10:12 am
Your local (at least blogwise) friendly real estate appraiser dropping by with the advice to stay off Zillow for reals. What may seem accurate is not truly so. The only way to have a true value on your home is to have either a licensed (and honest) appraiser or agent value it. There are so many factors that can mess up zillow values. They average sales on streets that may include houses ranging from $100,000 to $750,000. Which works sometimes, but often does not. Zillow is the bane of my existance and has caused many a misunderstanding with a homeowner. I love, love LOVE lasagne and yet hate the time (energy) it takes to make it.
17. claire | August 8th, 2007 at 11:56 am
has there, by any chance, been a mention of where you two are planning to move to?
Maybe i missed it… are you coming back north?
Mmmm… Lasagna…. mmrhhhrhgghhrllll……
18. Assertagirl | August 8th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Just started reading your site recently and now I’m even more delighted than I was because BIG LOVE. It’s so good now. Bill is so getting creepy. But not creepier than Alby.
19. Roy30Joni | March 10th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
I had got a desire to start my business, but I did not have got enough amount of cash to do this. Thank God my colleague advised to use the credit loans. Thence I took the financial loan and made real my dream.
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