Wanna Be Starting Something
August 18th, 2007
I am egg-intolerant, which is kind of like lactose intolerance, and is just as annoying. Yet time after time, I become lulled into complacency by a one-off experience where I did effectively digest eggs, because the moon was full and it was an alternate Tuesday. And of course, I get cocky, and I think it would be a good idea to go ahead and order two eggs over-hard, as runny yolks make me ill on sight, and the next thing you know, I’m spending the entire day laid-up with abdominal cramps and a runny nose while trying to watch Pan’s Labyrinth, which will heretofore be known as the Egg Movie from Hell. Oh, eggs. How you hurt me so. Oh frittatas. I miss you.
I mean, I can eat food that has eggs in it, provided the eggs are completely broken down and chemically altered, as in a cake or brownies or even clafoutis. Quiche, however, is not okay, and this is heartbreaking, because oh, how I love me a good quiche, and, as I learned this weekend, two eggs over-hard are most definitely not something my body is down with, and Pan’s Labyrinth may be a delightful movie, but I can’t say I enjoyed it, as I was in the throes of an Egg Crisis, and my husband couldn’t get past the fact that I duped him into watching a fantasy, and a foreign one at that.
Do you want me to go on about food intolerance? Because wow, this is riveting. I can talk about how I can’t digest zucchini, either, if you want. Or summer squash. Jesus, last week it was about how I’m becoming a morning person, and today it’s about food digestion. I have become my grandfather. Welcome.
Anyway, I barely survived last week, I was so freaking busy, and if it wasn’t for a tearful breakdown on Wednesday evening, I’m not sure I would have survived, as I desperately needed the release. The tears, by the way, were brought on by the kindness of a colleague, of all things, and why is it that we don’t lose it until someone is NICE to us? Does that make any sense? I truly think I would have held it together if people were angry or mean, but no no, he said something nice, and then he hugged me, and I crumpled like a wet Kleenex. This, I think, is unfair.
The only saving grace was that it was after 6 o’clock, and the only people who were in my immediate vicinity were two of my favorite work friends, one of whom was the hugger. These work friends also happen to be male, and cute single men at that, and I give them a hell of a lot of credit for dealing with a sniveling, overtired, unavailable female who will never have sex with them, because the return on investment for their attention, hugs and kind words was absolutely zero, really. They were just doing it because they’re nice people and they like me, when they should have been using those comforting skills to some sort of selfish advantage. Big ups to them, man, and I hope the next time they have to endure such hideous snarfling, they get laid.
Truthfully, I’m pretty pissed at myself for losing it, when I should have been able to hold it together. I hate that about myself. Hate. I hate that I usually have to lose it once in any truly stressful situation to be able to pick it up again and go on as normal — I’m always better after I lose it. For a little while – a day, an hour, a minute – I just need to come completely undone and let myself be overwhelmed in order to bring myself together again. It’s one of my biggest professional failures, frankly, and I’m not proud of it, although usually I do it in private or at least hide it relatively well, which, ah, not so much this time, given that my desk is basically in a busy hallway.
What really grates my cheese about this is that I cry when I’m overwhelmed or really angry, and I hate that it’s construed that I’m a sad little pansy, when most of the time, I’m just pissed and frustrated and overwhelmed and my body is all, ENOUGH ALREADY. Men get sick, yell, talk sternly, do whatever, and me? I cry, and set back feminism forty thousand years. However, the good news is that The Overwhelmed Cry is done, and we’re back in business, but the bad news is that the damage, it may be done, as I’m not sure how well I hid it this time since my frustration had reached unprecedented levels.
Anyway, enough whining! Because really, I’m alive, and life is good, and did you know that I’ve booked a long weekend at Disney World with my sister and nephews for November, and that we’re all sharing a room? I mean, it’s just the four of us, no husbands, but still. It’s because I am a masochist, that’s why, but secretly, I think it will be cute to see Disney through a kid’s eyes. Because I am a delusional masochist, fine.
And perhaps more importantly, I hope you all know about Bug Me Not. You do, don’t you? God, it saves so much time and spam, and I’ve used it at least 11 times on the NY Times alone this weekend.
Happy whatever day it is when you read this!
*Michael Jackson. I use it because, for the longest time — as in, until five minutes ago — I thought he was saying, “You’re a vegetable … you’re an omelette …” Really, he’s saying, “You’re a vegetable … you’re just a buffet … they eat off you” which isn’t any better or logical. A vegetable? Seriously? And where did I get omelette?
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
19 Comments Add your own
1. mere | August 18th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Ok…I always THOUGHT he said vegetable but figured I was a tard who could not get the words right. Now I think his insanity was showing earlier than we thought!
And I am a crier, too. It sucks. I get tired or stressed or overwhelmed or frustrated – and let the waterworks begin!
2. AndreAnna | August 19th, 2007 at 3:35 am
You thought omelet because your subconscious desperately misses them.
I cry when angry too. I HATE it. At the time when I should feel the most empowered with my anger, I appear to be breaking down into a sniveling mess. Then again, I cry if the air is blowing the right way.
3. Heather B. | August 19th, 2007 at 7:50 am
I try so very hard to just get really good and pissed and then I end up really good and pissed and sobbing. It’s really attractive and sometimes professional. The worst is when people brush it off as just some female thing and we’re hormonal or something, when really I’m just trying to keep myself from punching someone (usually a male) in the mouth.
4. Artemisia (a.k.a. Sagebrushy) | August 19th, 2007 at 8:41 am
I hope you are feeling better. Don’t beat yourself up! Work takes up a lot of time, energy and resources. Why shouldn’t we be emotionally involved? Why should we pretend we are detached, that we don’t care if our time is worthwhile?
I think crying or ranting or whatever is better than pretending everything is okay while secretly living a second life that involves copious amounts of alcohol and Valium.
I say all this, but my stomach turns knots when I had a meltdown at work. I’ve only cried once at work, but I couldn’t have been more lame. LAME!
I was at a job in DC that was SO STRESSFUL, paid shitty, and required 120 hours a week, versus a month. Argh!
Anyway – my supervisor offered me a PROMOTION and I started to cry. Yep – started to bawl my eyes out, right then and there.
I was crying, but not because I was pleased/relieved/satisfied that working until my eyes bled got me some recognition. No, I was crying because I just wanted TO QUIT the job so badly, and here landed an opportunity to stay on and push myself even further.
Needless to say, my reaction did not impress my supervisor. At all.
I did accept the promotion, and eventually ran my department. The best part was that I finally was in a position to say that the working conditions WERE NOT RIGHT, and could do a little something about that. That felt good.
The experience has paid off quit a bit, but I still blush bright red when I think of my reaction…
5. -R- | August 19th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
I cry (1) when I am mad and (2) when I am overwhelmed and someone is nice to me. It is awful. But it is nice to see that I am not the only one who has cried at work.
6. Melissa | August 19th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Tears only come when I’m frustrated or tired. Or hormonal and watching some tear-jerking Kodak commercial, but that doesn’t count.
Have fun in Disneyland!
7. Assertagirl | August 20th, 2007 at 4:41 am
The frustrated/mad cry is so cleansing. Did it myself just last week.
And Disney is really fun as an adult, especially if you can tag along with some kids who’ve never been there before!
8. Christine | August 20th, 2007 at 5:34 am
I cry when I am mad/frustrated too. The worst is that the cry makes you look like a pansy when really you’re ready to rip another person limb from limb you are so mad at them. This completely set me back when trying to discuss with roommates exactly why I found them to be complete asshats. It’s hard to be tough when trying not to break down and sob. Fuckers.
9. Tessie | August 20th, 2007 at 5:36 am
I, too, am an Angry Crier. And then I get MORE angry that I’m crying, and then get more upset, AND SO ON. And then I fear for my psychological health, because I think my ratio of Angry Cries to Sad Cries is seriously about 50:1.
10. Kristin | August 20th, 2007 at 7:00 am
Hello, fellow crier here. Drives me nuts. But “asshat”: I will be laughing about that for days.
Also! “Wanna be Startin Something” is an AWESOME running/work out song. Yee-ha!
11. Andrea | August 20th, 2007 at 7:50 am
I too am a crier. Cannot help it. If my husband and I argue, the waterworks come on. It’s actually gotten a little better, but he’s become immune to my tears so when I’m crying in earnest about something that hurt or upset me deeply, he’s all “pshaw, get over it.” My work isn’t so demanding that I get bent out of shape about it, but I don’t handle being yelled at very well, and given that pressure and I are NOT friends, it’s better that my job is more laid back. Especially since my home life is decidedly NOT laid back.
Although my husband knows when I’m seething mad and I don’t cry? He’d better run. Those are my Hulk Smash moments.
12. Amity | August 20th, 2007 at 8:53 am
I’m totally an overwhelmed cryer, too, so I feel your pain. And if your single boy co-workers are wanting to spread that helpfulness and sensitivity, I’m totally available.
13. karamarie | August 20th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Another angry weeper here, and it blows. My favorite is when I get super pissed off at something dumb like bad customer service people on the phone or at a store, and instead of being all angry and LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER FOOL I get all cry-y. I hate it too.
14. guinness girl | August 20th, 2007 at 9:50 am
UGH. The frustrated-crying. I know it well. It SUCKS. I totally cried on the phone with Best Buy customer service over my frustration with our refrigerator doors. I’m sure there are flags all over my file so that anytime I buy somethign there now, an error-type message will pop up saying “Warning! Overemotional Freak Zone!”. Sigh.
15. Swistle | August 20th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Mmm, eggs(-in-brownies) for breakfast!
So funny about the male coworkers and their returnless investment, and how you hope karma will come through for them on their second sob deluge.
I cry when I’m frustrated, which is SO FRUSTRATING and so I cry more. This has been a real problem for me in the workplace. I’m trying to explain something to my stupid boss, and she’s not understanding me, and I start weeping. Oh, so embarrassing, and so counter-productive. I also cry in fights with my husband, which is also frustrating, especially when we’re arguing about non-emotional things such as plane geometry.
16. bellydancer | August 20th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I cry, too– it’s so embarassing. Once, during a weeklong crisis, my boss asked me repeatedly what was wrong. Finally, I had to tell him, dude, you get sarcasm R us or waterworks– take your pick.
17. Corinne | August 20th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Yeah, me too – I’m a crier. Fortunately I’ve always been able to hold it together in the office…but when I get home it all comes out in heaving sobs that worry the dog more than my husband.
He just tries to fix it. GAH. Let me cry, dude. And it’s worse if we’re arguing, because then he’s all “it’s nothing to cry about”. Thanks for stating the obvious, dear.
I’d like to believe that this will get better once grad school is over. Because it sure didn’t happen anywhere near as often beforehand.
18. H | August 20th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
It’s good to know there are so many of us out there. I, too, am an angry-frustrated-overwhelmed crier. I’ve cried twice at work (once when I was laid off and once when I thought I was going to get laid off) but I’ve sobbed (in private) at work after stressful phone conversations.
The strangest thing is, though, that I always, without fail, cry when I watch a parade. What the hell?!
19. ali | August 20th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
i could have written that exact post – about the egg intolerance (only mine wouldn’t have been half as funny…) – i have the same exact thing. sucks. hairy donkey balls.
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