Always on My Mind

First of all, thank you for all of your vacuum recommendations. I should tell you that we’ve had both Eureka and Dirt Devils, and hoo boy, they sucked, and not in a good way. Oh, and both are dead, and can only be described as some sort of appliance roadkill.

Anyway, in case it isn’t obvious, I’ve become rather …. smug about running, and when I told my parents that I was heading out for a run on Friday morning, I announced that I typically run about four miles in the mornings, and was considering training for a 5K! Because I am a very serious runner now, you know, I said knowledgeably.

Ha. HA! Do you know what Pennsylvania has? HILLS. I do not live in an area that has a single hill, and boy did my legs let me know, thank you! And this officially makes me Not a Runner, because runners can run places that are not flat, which I clearly cannot do, but given that I haven’t seen a real, live hill in two years, I forgot. And then I died and my legs fell off. The end.

The weekend was perfect in that sickeningly perfect way that leaves your face in actual pain from smiling so much. I can’t tell you what indescribable joy it was to see my childhood friend get married, and to get to hang out with a group of my favorite people in the entire world. My friend Dee was the only exception, as she couldn’t get away (I’m linking, because if you can, go see her. Go now. She’s amazing), but every single person who was important to me while I was growing up was there, including my very first boyfriend, who I dated all through high school.

Ha HA! Surprise! Matt conveniently forgot to mention that he was invited (“What? I forgot you dated! Wait, shit — that’s RIGHT!”), and when I turned to hear him say my name, I was, for a moment, dumbfounded, because honestly, it was almost too much to bear after spending an hour with my old English and Spanish teachers, and reeling from the shock of holding my friend Justin’s Gerber-quality baby, because Jesus, could this have been more This Is Your Life? We have old friends and their babies! Teachers! Ex-boyfriends! MY GOD.

(Incidentally, the teachers were there because Matt’s mom is the secretary at my high school, and they’re friends. Matt is not so nerdy that he still writes to his teachers in long, overwritten prose about his accomplishments, I swear.)

It was surreal. And perfect. And for some reason, it made me immeasurably sad, that life marches on the way it does, and that we’re no longer sixteen, with endless stretches of time to hang around in someone’s bedroom, doing everything and nothing. I think, incidentally, it might be time for me to eat my words, because I realized that all of my high school friends were boys, with only one exception. I was the only girl from school at that wedding, and when I looked around, it hit me that I preferred playing Nintendo to playing cheerleader, and watching The Highlander over and over again was more important than putting on make up. So I’m sorry! I am that girl, in a way, and I didn’t even know it.

To me, though, they were almost genderless, in that we slept over each other’s houses in groups, in the way that was usually reserved for boys or girls alone, and one of us was always having dinner with the other’s family. I don’t think there was a weekend we spent apart, from the time we were ten years old, and like I said, it breaks my heart a little sometimes that those days are gone, and we’ll never get them back. But for one weekend, though, it was as though we’d never been apart. They remember me, and I remember them, in a way that most people never could.

I’m going to toss away vanity for a minute here, because this is one of my favorite pictures, maybe ever, because it was a moment I was so ridiculously happy that even the public appearance of my quadruple chins isn’t fazing me. Charlie and I have known each other since fourth grade, when he sat behind me in reading class, and almost from that day forward, I spent as much time at his house as I did my own, and he practically lived at mine. My parents call him their second son, and I can still recite his favorite movies by heart, and I know by the look on his face almost exactly what he’s thinking, even still, after more than 22 years. He remembers what I wore the first day of school, and he knows exactly how I helped him to beat the Legend of Zelda (Northwest, southwest!).

(Am I making us sound super-cool, or what? Did I mention he played the trumpet, and I, the oboe?)

(Please note giant hunchy wrap around my shoulders, because we were outside smoking — yes, I smoke around these people, I can’t help it — and it was frickin’ FREEZING OH MY GOD. Also, hello, chins! How nice of you to appear, as you always do, every SINGLE TIME I laugh in photos!)

And while I’m sad that it’s over, the best part of all this — the very best part — is that Charlie’s getting married next summer, to one of the nicest people I have ever met. And, come hell or high water, we’re going to be there, and we’re going to do this weekend all over again. And I cannot wait.

Happy Monday to you!

*So, lots of people, right? But this particular reference is to the Pet Shop Boys, with a nod to Willie Nelson. The Willie Nelson version came on at the wedding, and my old boyfriend tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I requested it, because he remembers that I gave him a mix tape (A MIX TAPE) of sappy love songs (SAPPY LOVE SONGS. SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME NOW), and I did some sort of re-mix (RE-MIX) of the Pet Shop Boys and Willie Nelson. Oh oh, and “Somebody” by Depeche Mode opened and closed the tape. I swear to you, I’d never seen the kid laugh so hard, because apparently HE STILL HAS IT, and his fiancee told me it’s one of her favorites, because it’s so utterly hysterical in its emo sappiness. Again, if someone could get me a gun, or at the very least, a knife, that would be great.

20 comments September 16th, 2007