Always on My Mind
September 16th, 2007
First of all, thank you for all of your vacuum recommendations. I should tell you that we’ve had both Eureka and Dirt Devils, and hoo boy, they sucked, and not in a good way. Oh, and both are dead, and can only be described as some sort of appliance roadkill.
Anyway, in case it isn’t obvious, I’ve become rather …. smug about running, and when I told my parents that I was heading out for a run on Friday morning, I announced that I typically run about four miles in the mornings, and was considering training for a 5K! Because I am a very serious runner now, you know, I said knowledgeably.
Ha. HA! Do you know what Pennsylvania has? HILLS. I do not live in an area that has a single hill, and boy did my legs let me know, thank you! And this officially makes me Not a Runner, because runners can run places that are not flat, which I clearly cannot do, but given that I haven’t seen a real, live hill in two years, I forgot. And then I died and my legs fell off. The end.
The weekend was perfect in that sickeningly perfect way that leaves your face in actual pain from smiling so much. I can’t tell you what indescribable joy it was to see my childhood friend get married, and to get to hang out with a group of my favorite people in the entire world. My friend Dee was the only exception, as she couldn’t get away (I’m linking, because if you can, go see her. Go now. She’s amazing), but every single person who was important to me while I was growing up was there, including my very first boyfriend, who I dated all through high school.
Ha HA! Surprise! Matt conveniently forgot to mention that he was invited (“What? I forgot you dated! Wait, shit — that’s RIGHT!”), and when I turned to hear him say my name, I was, for a moment, dumbfounded, because honestly, it was almost too much to bear after spending an hour with my old English and Spanish teachers, and reeling from the shock of holding my friend Justin’s Gerber-quality baby, because Jesus, could this have been more This Is Your Life? We have old friends and their babies! Teachers! Ex-boyfriends! MY GOD.
(Incidentally, the teachers were there because Matt’s mom is the secretary at my high school, and they’re friends. Matt is not so nerdy that he still writes to his teachers in long, overwritten prose about his accomplishments, I swear.)
It was surreal. And perfect. And for some reason, it made me immeasurably sad, that life marches on the way it does, and that we’re no longer sixteen, with endless stretches of time to hang around in someone’s bedroom, doing everything and nothing. I think, incidentally, it might be time for me to eat my words, because I realized that all of my high school friends were boys, with only one exception. I was the only girl from school at that wedding, and when I looked around, it hit me that I preferred playing Nintendo to playing cheerleader, and watching The Highlander over and over again was more important than putting on make up. So I’m sorry! I am that girl, in a way, and I didn’t even know it.
To me, though, they were almost genderless, in that we slept over each other’s houses in groups, in the way that was usually reserved for boys or girls alone, and one of us was always having dinner with the other’s family. I don’t think there was a weekend we spent apart, from the time we were ten years old, and like I said, it breaks my heart a little sometimes that those days are gone, and we’ll never get them back. But for one weekend, though, it was as though we’d never been apart. They remember me, and I remember them, in a way that most people never could.
I’m going to toss away vanity for a minute here, because this is one of my favorite pictures, maybe ever, because it was a moment I was so ridiculously happy that even the public appearance of my quadruple chins isn’t fazing me. Charlie and I have known each other since fourth grade, when he sat behind me in reading class, and almost from that day forward, I spent as much time at his house as I did my own, and he practically lived at mine. My parents call him their second son, and I can still recite his favorite movies by heart, and I know by the look on his face almost exactly what he’s thinking, even still, after more than 22 years. He remembers what I wore the first day of school, and he knows exactly how I helped him to beat the Legend of Zelda (Northwest, southwest!).
(Am I making us sound super-cool, or what? Did I mention he played the trumpet, and I, the oboe?)
(Please note giant hunchy wrap around my shoulders, because we were outside smoking — yes, I smoke around these people, I can’t help it — and it was frickin’ FREEZING OH MY GOD. Also, hello, chins! How nice of you to appear, as you always do, every SINGLE TIME I laugh in photos!)
And while I’m sad that it’s over, the best part of all this — the very best part — is that Charlie’s getting married next summer, to one of the nicest people I have ever met. And, come hell or high water, we’re going to be there, and we’re going to do this weekend all over again. And I cannot wait.
Happy Monday to you!
*So, lots of people, right? But this particular reference is to the Pet Shop Boys, with a nod to Willie Nelson. The Willie Nelson version came on at the wedding, and my old boyfriend tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I requested it, because he remembers that I gave him a mix tape (A MIX TAPE) of sappy love songs (SAPPY LOVE SONGS. SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME NOW), and I did some sort of re-mix (RE-MIX) of the Pet Shop Boys and Willie Nelson. Oh oh, and “Somebody” by Depeche Mode opened and closed the tape. I swear to you, I’d never seen the kid laugh so hard, because apparently HE STILL HAS IT, and his fiancee told me it’s one of her favorites, because it’s so utterly hysterical in its emo sappiness. Again, if someone could get me a gun, or at the very least, a knife, that would be great.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
20 Comments Add your own
1. Jess | September 16th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
Your high school experience sounds abnormally great. I look forward to next summer’s entry about Charlie’s wedding. Also, I think that’s a great picture of both of you.
2. jonniker | September 16th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Jess: High school was actually pretty awesome. My angst didn’t arrive until college, and oh, was it ever angsty.
3. Suebob | September 16th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
You have chins too! What a relief! After all those wonderful shots of you, I was thinking of you in as practically a contestant in ANTM (except not fucking nuts or stupid, of course) and while I am sure it is cold comfort to you, it just makes me feel better that, were we to meet, our chins could romp and play together. I will go over and post a photo of my chins that has your chins beat all to hell, though.
You look wonderful. That is what I am really trying to say, but I am a big dope.
4. Swistle | September 16th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Oh, mix tapes. Dear god. Mix tapes. I remember…no, I think I won’t.
5. erica | September 17th, 2007 at 3:00 am
Great post
Made me think of all my high school peeps (also mostly boys) and wish someone in my crew would get married or have a party or something so I can just see these people again!
Glad to hear that you had a good time!
p.s. The picture is great! And FYI – because I am now so acutely aware of my chins, I do this ridiculous “turtle” maneuver in just about every photo where I kind of strech my neck out and point my chin up in the air since, you know, that’s a natural, normal pose and everyone does that.
6. Heather B. | September 17th, 2007 at 3:54 am
At least when you laugh your eyes stay open. I have dozens of pictures with the double whammy of the five chin/no eyes combination. Hot.
I agree with Suebob, you look good. More importantly, you look ridiculously happy.
7. cassidy | September 17th, 2007 at 6:05 am
Oh this entry makes me all nostalgic and I smiled while reading the entire thing.
You look great, by the way.
8. Emily | September 17th, 2007 at 6:14 am
THE OBOE!
Ha! Dave always wanted to play the bassoon, and, really, who plays the bassoon? So his parents signed him up for the oboe instead.
THE OBOE. WHO PLAYS THE OBOE? You did. That is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard.
P.S. You looked great!!
9. Sushma | September 17th, 2007 at 6:19 am
I so love the wittiness in your writing… u just make every normal mundane occurence seem so much fun n interesting. I’m hooked
From across the seas,
10. claire | September 17th, 2007 at 6:36 am
Jonna, that’s ADORABLE. And gah, i would have been mortified that my ex and his FIANCE were listening to a mix tape i made when i was 16. You made a re-mix (A RE-MIX!) ohmygod.
I’m glad you were able to rescind your comment about being friends with only boys. Now you can remember that teenage boys were so much easier to deal with than teenage girls. Watching The Highlander… obviously you were friends with the same guys i was.
11. elise | September 17th, 2007 at 7:14 am
I have to echo that you do look super pretty and happy in that pic – I think the alleged “chins” could just be smile lines…
Also! I commend you for not being super awkward around your high-school ex! I recently had a minor “This Is Your Life” situation, and I handled it not nearly as gracefully.
12. Suebob | September 17th, 2007 at 8:37 am
And oh hai, the oboe is one of my favorite instruments. At our local symphony when I was an usher, oboist Allen Vogel was the soloist. I found his playing so beautiful that I began to sob. I mean big ugly heaving sobs, not ladylike tears glistening on my cheeks. And snot. Yes, there was snot, and snorting, and general embarrassment.
After the performance, I told Mr. Vogel that his playing made me cry and he was quite touched. He said “Oh, good! That is so good!” But then, he didn’t SEE me crying.
13. Suebob | September 17th, 2007 at 8:37 am
PS There is a chance that I may be quite insane.
14. Amanda | September 17th, 2007 at 11:28 am
What an awesome weekend. You captured it so well…the fun in reconnecting with old friends, but the tinge of sadness that so much time had passed without your even knowing it.
I’m weepy today.
You are beautiful, Jonna. And your chin (singular) is perfect. I love genuine smiles and what they do to people.
15. Ginny | September 17th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
What a lovely picture! I’m glad you had so much fun–reunion type events can be tricky–you are very lucky! I followed your link for Dee and that is so funny! I was just thinking, I’ve really got to get off my ass and go see ‘Wicked’!! Now, I’ve got a ‘Six Degrees’ reason to go!
16. clickmom | September 18th, 2007 at 3:44 am
The next time you are in PA run at the high school track,. Not only are they flat but the newer ones are cushy. I only do flat too and if I run I am a runner. Damn, if I ran down hill I’d still consider myself a runner.
17. Jen from Boston | September 18th, 2007 at 8:29 am
I know that PSP/Willie Nelson remix song. OH MAH LORD.
Awesome.
Mix Tapes 4-Eva!
18. ali | September 18th, 2007 at 11:00 am
i can’t escape the chins in photos…no matter what the hell i do!
19. metalia | September 18th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Sounds like a lovely weekend…and you two look gorgeous and insanely happy.
20. Jennifer | September 18th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Ooo, backoff Emily, the oboe is uber-cool! (I too am an oboe player, oboists rock!)
Mix-tapes yesterday, mix-CDs today, mix-iTunes-playlists too! They’re all good.
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