Off Tangent
September 27th, 2007
“I WANT HIS SPERM.”
Oh Private Practice. You were oh-so-dead on arrival, from the time “Addison” (because was this really the same character we loved on Grey’s Anatomy? WHO IS THIS ADDISON?) started dancing in her apartment naked, but seriously, the second that woman turned in a laughably melodramatic performance by announcing “I want his sperm” in the hospital, I actually turned it off.
“I want his sperm.” Jesus. She might as well have tried to use the words “labia majora” in some kind of mature context that doesn’t involve surreptitious giggling and snorfling, because neither one of those statements belong in any sort of television that we’re supposed to take remotely seriously.
Thus far, by the way, I have found but one show from the new season that I actually like: Journeyman. I don’t care if it’s Quantum Leap recycled (it totally is), it was refreshingly entertaining without being either a) a cop drama or b) an emotional suckfest designed to pull us into some sort of insane love triangle for years and years. (Hi, Grey’s Anatomy! LOVE YOU!)
And hey, does anyone watch ER any more? I just wish it would flatline already (har!), because it’s been far too long, Stanley Tucci or no.
Enough TV! Sunny’s back to eating poop again, and it was a contentious few moments when Adam warned me she’d had a fecalicious snack so hey, don’t let her kiss you, when I announced that oh, right! That was a habit she’d started yesterday! You know, right before she kissed you all over your face! For real. Everyone is thrilled.
Anyway, for the third time since the Weight Watchers journey (like The Bachelor!), a coworker noticed that I lost weight during a most inopportune time: when I was bending over the crisper drawer of our office refrigerator. Don’t get me wrong — none of the comments were in any was salacious or inappropriate, it’s just that it’s hard to muster more than a “Oh! Gee, um, thanks!” with the realization that it is your diminished derriere in their face that prompted the compliment, especially while digging through a bottom drawer of what might be lettuce, might be old meat, does anyone really know? Side note: About a week ago, I reached into a grocery store bag in the fridge that I was SURE was mine, and oh my God, it wasn’t. It was a bag of raw pork spareribs. In our office fridge. And do you know how gross that is? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?
I hope you have a great weekend. Adam just pretended — quite convincingly — that the TiVo actually broke in a horrible, melty accident so as to avoid actually having to suffer through Grey’s Anatomy. And by “suffering,” I mean that I am very likely including my own, because the comments! The neverending snarky comments! They cause me pain. (Adam, on Dr. Torres: “Oh my God, she’s just … a beast. A beast! A frightening beast!” OH SOMEONE SAVE ME.)
*Gecko. So Vista included all of these incredibly irritating musical vignettes with my new laptop, and is there anything more irritating then cruising along on a nice run when BAM! a song that you neither ripped nor downloaded, and worse, it’s all jazzy and ridiculous and not at all what you like? That’s right, I don’t like jazz. No! I don’t like jazz! Not even a little! And I don’t care what that says about me!
**Update: Um, for real? FOR FREAKING REAL? More Mer-Der drama? A BREAK-UP AT THE GET-GO THEN MORE ROUND AND ROUND WE GO JUST STAY ON OR GET OFF STAY ON OR GET OFF OMG!111!!!1
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
22 Comments Add your own
1. -R- | September 27th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
But did you watch The Office???????? JIM AND PAM OMG.
2. Jamie | September 27th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
You are so totally my inspiration for this whole WW thing. Now that I know someone in my real life that has succeeded with it, it seems so much easier to bear.
I only hope that someday (sigh), one of my coworkers can notice my thinner ass while I’m bent over, inspecting something in the crisper drawer of the 6th floor refrigerator.
I’m not kidding.
In other news, am I the only person on earth who never liked Grey’s Anatomy to begin with? I saw one episode and was like, “Meh.” What am I missing?
3. Jennie | September 27th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
But was ANYTHING better than Izzy shouting out a “word” in agreement with what Alex said?
I’m totally bringing “word” back.
4. Jennie | September 27th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
Also, R, I’ll give you a word on your Pam and Jim comment!
I’m SO happy!
5. Angella | September 27th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Me and pork? Don’t get along.
6. Flibberty | September 28th, 2007 at 4:36 am
Isn’t it amazing what people bring to work to eat? I mean, certain things are best left to consume in the privacy of your own kitchen. Also, office fridge is not the world-wide garbage disposal.
7. claire | September 28th, 2007 at 5:17 am
I think the Addison show was doomed WAAAAAY before she was dancing naked in her apartment. It was doomed, like, when they announced it. I mean COME ON. How the hell does she warrant a spin-off? A spin-off? Really? Feh.
8. Sadie | September 28th, 2007 at 5:27 am
oh yeah, I knew Private Practice was going to suck when I saw that “mistress wants the sperm” storyline…which I am CERTAIN I have seen before on some other medical drama – House, maybe? oh, and then when I saw that Judging Amy was in the cast I was like “this is CRAP!”
Also, I watched The Office, only occasionally flipping over to Grey’s, and I was able to see in 30-second increments that I wasn’t missing a damn thing.
9. Tessie | September 28th, 2007 at 6:27 am
I found myself liking Journeyman too. Partially because that dude is wicked Sex-ay, just like he was on Rome.
I am tentatively thrilled about JAM, but also: nervous tummy. I KNOW they will fuck it up somehow.
10. Andrea | September 28th, 2007 at 7:04 am
I’m going to be the lone voice and say I liked Grey’s Anatomy, even if it’s missing some of it’s original spark for me. I could do without Mer-Der crap. It’s old, hang that up already. But the deer bit? I was laughing too hard to hate it. Yeah, some of it is tired and overdone, but I can’t help but care about the cast still. It may also have something to do with Izzy. I can’t help but love her.
Yeah, I’ll be one of the people who still watches Grey’s Anatomy when it’s as old as ER and jumped the shark about a decade before. I’m a lemming.
11. celebrate woo-woo | September 28th, 2007 at 7:09 am
I also really need to know who is still watching ER. Why has that show not been put out of its misery to make way for something better? I can’t even remember the last time I heard someone mention ER…other than the conversation I had with my husband as to why it’s still on the air, being promoted as if millions of us are just sitting on the couch waiting for the season to begin.
12. jonniker | September 28th, 2007 at 7:21 am
R: I totally watched and adored The Office, but I am afraid to say anything about it, because OMG JIM AND PAM OMG I AM SO EXCITED. But what if they screw it up? How will they break up? Like Television Without Pity says, they either need to get married, or one of them needs to die. It’s the only way that fans won’t flip right the fuck out and start storming NBC headquarters with flaming broomsticks.
Tessie: JAM? I’m trying to think of what that might be? Jim and Pam? Is that what you mean? How clever!
13. Heather B. | September 28th, 2007 at 8:22 am
Oh good, here I thought I was the last person on Earth to not know that ER was still on.
14. H | September 28th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Man, I love talking TV!
ER: I can’t agree more. Why oh why oh why is that show still on? I liked it 14 years ago, but then tired of how they allow everyone’s relatives in the room when the person is flatlining and the docs are screaming at each other. And, my personal pet peeve, did these doctors fail CPR class? If you’re doing it correctly, the heart monitor will actually REGISTER the heart beats. Have you noticed how they can be pumping away on the patient’s chest and the monitor continues to scream a high pitched flatline?! Dudes! If it does that, you’re doing it wrong! I don’t know why that bugs me so much, but it does.
Private Practice: I agree, doomed from the start. Corny. Stupid.
The Office: Love it, loved it last night, so hilarious! Angela, Dwight and Sprinkles — priceless.
15. Suebob | September 28th, 2007 at 10:35 am
Jazz. Absolutely. Anything beyond Dave Brubeck is just lost on me. I think it must be fun to play, though, if you are a good musician.
16. ali | September 28th, 2007 at 10:49 am
i want addison back on greys. now.
both shows are doomed.
17. Carrie | September 28th, 2007 at 11:09 am
I did not even BOTHER to turn on the TV for Private Practice. Addison on a spin off? Seriously?
But I decided to go ahead and give Grey’s one more shot–and found myself liking it, surprisingly. I know, I know. I can’t believe it either. Must have been in a weird mood.
I was most upset to miss the Office, however. I kept trying to flip, but I could never catch much, and DARNIT if I didn’t keep missing the GOOD parts! ARGH! Will have to put VCR (’cause we’re too cheap for TIVO) to use next week.
And…I am reluctant to admit that I do still watch ER, but it’s mostly out of habit. I was determined to give it up this year since last year was the WORST. SEASON. EVER. But once again, found myself drawn to it as I wasn’t in the mood to go to bed yet. Should have just gone to sleep. Being unconscious would have been more interesting and appealing than THAT.
18. Tessie | September 28th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Oh, yeah, sorry, it’s Jim and Pam. I don’t think I INVENTED that or anything, I think I saw it somewhere and it stuck. KIND OF LIKE DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS JAM. Oh shut up.
19. mar | September 28th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
yeah, totally missed most of the goodness of the office last night. my bf came in to visit me in the hospital, but the second er came on i informed him ‘i don’t watch this show’ & flipped it over to mad men. i was only disappointed that my old college classmate didn’t show up in the latest episode. (he’s one of the jr ad men-nerdy glasses guy-he was also the gay friend in devil wears prada-love him).
20. Leane | September 29th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
I still watch Grey’s..faithfully. But not Private Practice..
21. Jennifer | September 29th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Did you watch “Chuck” this week? What did you think?
22. Gay Sex Videos&hellip | November 29th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Gay Sex Videos
Sorry, it just sounds like a crazy idea for me
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