Wake Up
October 4th, 2007
I have an irrational fear of a home invasion. I don’t know why this is — I mean, other than an attempted break-in more than a year ago, when we may or may not have been home, no one knows — nothing’s happened, although that’s probably enough. And I’m certain that I’ve mentioned this before, but just a friendly reminder that the police officer who came to our house and freaked us out with his overall lewd and lascivious demeanor? He’s in prison right now awaiting ruling on child porn charges. I feel safe, is what I’m saying.
That being said, it’s still utterly ridiculous that I live like this, and honestly, I don’t know what I’m terrified of more — actually being broken into and tied to a radiator like that awful scene in “Unbreakable,” or becoming one of those women who has to wander around the house three times, completing a set of completely meaningless-but-comforting rituals like a designated hitter with OCD.
This is unrelated to anything other than the fact that I’ve freaked myself out while walking the dog almost every night this week, convinced that someone — maybe Michael Myers — is lurking behind the bushes to force his way inside my home and do that radiator thing.
So here’s something funny — or shall I say hurtful and extremely disappointing — only one alert reader asked about the toe jam radish recipe, which I’d clearly (CLEARLY) mis-typed, and I’m wondering, do you all have something against food that smells like rotting feet mixed with dog farts? For shame.
And hey, I meant to tell you: I say bathing suit, too! Swimsuit is for people who use Bain de Soleil tanning lotion (for that St. Tropez tan!) and wear big sunglasses. Big white sunglasses, maybe with excessive rhinestones, paired with very pale frosted lipstick. Those are swimsuit people. Bathing suit people are the practical sort who use Coppertone — Banana Boat, if they’re feeling sassy. Bathing suit people know how to make good cookies, maybe a nice rib roast, and have raunchy senses of humor. Bathing suit people are okay with fart jokes — no, no, they are great with fart jokes. Or maybe we’re just old-fashioned and learned the wrong way from our mothers. That’s my excuse.
Hey, and while we’re on the topic of language, I must know: do you say sherbet or sherbert? I am firmly — OH SO FIRMLY — in the sherbet camp, and am intensely distressed by the use of sherbert. This whole language-as-dynamic-entity thing? Sometimes it really pisses me off. But sometimes it can be really fascinating, like, for example, did you know that normalcy was considered a malapropism by Warren G. Harding, when he used it in his campaign, but really, it was merely improper, at worst? It’s been the topic of conversation in our home many times this week, I’m not sure why, except that Adam is still on his American history kick, and tomorrow we could be talking about the Iran-Contra Affair over falafels.
But anyway, don’t get me wrong — I’m thankful that spit-and-image has evolved to spitting image, really, I am, although who uses that phrase anymore? Do you? But I will never, ever be okay with sherbert. Never.
And um, oh, hello, did you not realize you bought a ticket for the Language Dork Picnic 2007? Oboe players welcome.
Wrapping it up with as few exclamation points as possible, today turned out to be a surprisingly decent day, despite the fact that it started with my husband angrily — and rather sleepily — flipping me off, as I’d allegedly kept him up all night with the first snores of the dry allergy season. There’s nothing like an angry chewed cuticle in your face at 7 a.m.
Happy Friday to you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend full of shiny happy things. Ours will be full of fried whole belly clams! WHOLE BELLIES! I even hear they’re flown in from Ipswich. Oh yes.
*Arcade Fire
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
40 Comments Add your own
1. Sundry | October 4th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
I can’t say “sherbet”. It has to be sher-BERT, because that’s how it is in my head. Like badMITTEN, there can be no badMINTON.
2. audrey | October 4th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
I have never known whether to say sherbet or sherbert. Thanks for clearing that up.
I would also like to note that I was appalled to learn that the word was actually raspberries, not rasberries. Why is there a “p” in there?! I don’t want any p in my rasberries, thank you very much.
3. Suebob | October 4th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
As a longtime veg, I am a friend of all vegetables. Except lima beans and RADISHES. A radish burp is like the bottom of a trash barrel on a hot day. Oooock. No recipe, thank you, for me.
Sherbert. Sorry. I am stuck that way, so I try not to say it. Thank god for Sorbet.
Do you know spit and image came from “spirit and image,” which is something that actually MAKES SENSE!
Go, Angels.
4. Schnozz | October 5th, 2007 at 12:30 am
The “sherbert” thing confounds me, because HELLO, THERE IS NO R. That’s just flat-out mispronunciation as far as I’m concerned.
But I must vote against this whole “bathing suit” thing for the same reason. You don’t bathe in it! You SWIM in it! The day I wear it in the shower while shampooing my hair is the day it is a bathing suit. In other words, never.
Then again, I did use the word “patriarchy” like six whole hours before you made fun of people who say “patriarchy.” So I could just be bitter. Oh, you want a war? I’LL GIVE YOU A WAR.
I am, of course, kidding. Perhaps I should note that, because lots of editors? Are not kidding. And they sort of scare me.
5. jonniker | October 5th, 2007 at 3:18 am
Schnozz: I’m not sure if I’d *write* bathing suit — in fact, I know I wouldn’t, and haven’t at work. But while I know it doesn’t make sense, I will always say it, which probably makes me very, very old-sounding.
HEH. You said “patriarchy.”
SB: the origins of spitting image are argued daily — some say spit and image makes no sense (it doesn’t, I’m with them), so it must be spirit, while others say there’s no evidence of that, and it’s wishful thinking. I love this stuff.
6. Kristin H | October 5th, 2007 at 4:45 am
Ooo, I’m a sherBERT person through and through (despite my editorial background), because long ago I discovered the fun of saying sherbert! Sherbert! SHERBERT! Say it enough times and you’ll realize that there is no joy like sherbert joy.
My daughter actually did bathe in her bathing suit just the other day. Picking my battles and all.
PS – I AM tempted by the radish thing. But then I sort of forgot.
7. TwoBusy | October 5th, 2007 at 5:53 am
Sherbert all the way. And congrats, btw, on seamlessly slipping in a Warren G. Harding reference. His name doesn’t come up in conversation nearly as often as it should.
8. Jess | October 5th, 2007 at 6:05 am
I say sherbert too, and I remember being shocked at age 13 or so when I found out that there was no second R in the word. I truly thought there was. And now I can’t kick the habit. Blame my southern upbringing, please.
But I also say “bathing suit.” Does that help redeem me?
9. Sadie | October 5th, 2007 at 6:12 am
As a child I used to say “sherbert” because that’s how all the stupid adults around me said it…but then I learned to read and simultaneously grew a grammatical conscience – ever since that point, I say “sherbet.”
And on a related but tangential note (what am I, if not tangential? NOTHING, that’s what) I have been trying to convince my father there is no ‘r’ at the end of the word ‘idea’ for about twenty years now. But I think that’s more of a regional mistake.
Next topic: people who put a ‘u’ into the word ‘forty’ when writing checks.
10. Lawyerish | October 5th, 2007 at 6:15 am
Sherbet. But I have to kind of WORK to say it, because I grew up a sherbert kid. Although, honestly, I don’t have much occasion to say it at all, because does sherbet even exist anymore?
I have done some thinking about it, and I realized that I alternate between “bathing suit” and “swimming suit” — the latter a sort of hybrid between swimsuit and bathing suit that, let’s face it, is a bit more accurate, yet lacks pretension.
Also, when did burglaries become HOME INVASIONS? It’s all they call break-ins now on the news, and I just wonder, wasn’t “break-in” or “burglary” scary enough? Now it has to be an INVASION? I always imagine armies tramping into someone’s house.
AND, by the way, I am one of those women who goes through the house three times performing rituals before I go to bed when I’m alone.
11. Allison | October 5th, 2007 at 6:23 am
I don’t perform rituals before bed when I’m home alone. Mostly because they make me more scared. I think “home invasion” sounds much scarier than break-in.
I say “sherbet.”
And I hate it when people say fustrated. There is another R in there, people! It FUSTRATES me.
12. -R- | October 5th, 2007 at 6:37 am
I say sherbert. That’s what my parents called it, and I didn’t know it was “wrong” until I was in high school. But I still say sherbert and will continue to do so, so you will just have to deal with it!
Are former jazz band members welcome along with the oboe players? I hope so.
13. ali | October 5th, 2007 at 6:58 am
Enough with the whole bellies! First my mother calls me to discuss her dog’s infected hair follicle and now the whole belly clams. As if the word clam isn’t gross enough. I don’t even know what a whole belly clam is, but it doesn’t sound even remotely appetizing, what with the whole, and the belly, and the clam.. I’m pretty sure this violent reaction isn’t just because of my intensely nauseated first trimester woes, but I do know it’s not helping anything.
And I say sherbert, which is odd to me because I am usually SO annoyed by people who mispronounce things. Like in my 10th grade biology class when my best friend and I marveled over the fact (and still do today, to be honest) that EVERYONE pronounced larynx and pharynx as larnyx and pharnyx. Why?
14. Beth | October 5th, 2007 at 7:06 am
Language Dork Picnic 2007? Does such a thing exist? Could we start one? Please? Why, yes, I *am* a Language Dork — thanks for asking. ;^).
Sherbet. My dad’s pet language peeve is folks’ saying “persnickety” when it’s actually “pernickety.” He’s very pernickety that way, but persnickety has begun to creep into the language and that bugs the crap out of him.
I say “spitting image,” but I’m a big nerd.
I also say swimsuit, which reminds me that I must purchase white-rimmed sunglasses and pick up some Bain de Soleil this morning. ;^)
I was a bookworm as a kid and sometimes didn’t bother to look up the proper pronunciations of words, preferring to glean the meaning from the context and wing it on the rest. This is why I used to think “annihilated” was pronounced “Annie HILL ate Ed.” I knew someone who used to think “predator” was pronounced “pre-DATER.” What that says about us, I know not — maybe that we were too lazy to crack open a dictionary once in a while??
15. Val | October 5th, 2007 at 7:27 am
Ugh, What is with all the “sherbeRt” saying people?! It is sherbet for me, and I actually, visibly cringe when I hear people say “sherbert.” Although being in Missouri, I come from a land where people add extra R’s to all kinds of words like “waRsh” and “toiRlet”. So my ears are constantly in pain.
16. Swistle | October 5th, 2007 at 7:49 am
I said “sherbert” as a child. Then I learned to read. From then on I’ve said “sherbet.”
“Persnickety” IS correct. “Pernickety” is secondary, according to my big-ass dictionary.
I get freaked out when I realize that anyone who really wanted to come into our house could just break a window and waltz right in. They wouldn’t even need to waltz.
17. jonniker | October 5th, 2007 at 8:01 am
Beth, is your dad from the UK? The British version is more commonly pernickety, but persnickety is the form that’s preferred, and is infinitely more common, in the US.
My mother’s pet peeve: chaise lounge vs. chaise longue, which is literally “long chair” vs. the whole chase lounge pronunciation.
18. Beth | October 5th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Ooh! Good peeve on your mom’s part. Love that.
My dad’s not British, but he is old and may be using an old dictionary. ;^)
19. claire | October 5th, 2007 at 8:57 am
I’m a sherbert, too. But for the frequency in which i use the word, it doesn’t really matter. I mean, why wouldn’t you just have ice cream? It’s ever so much more fulfilling. I also say bathing suit. And totally agree with Allison about “frustrating” i HATE that.
On the Ipswitch clam thing – when we drove to Maine in the spring, we stopped on the way in Ipswitch to visit a friend and he took us to the apparently famous Clam Box? For clams? Is it famous? He said it was. But what do i know from famous fried clams in Massachusetts.
The whole belly ones made me kinda squeamish, but the strips were yummy. (And famous.)
20. jonniker | October 5th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Claire: Ipswich is famous for its clams overall, and yes, The Clam Box is super-famous, I mean, as far as clam shacks go. Was there a huge line? The New York Times just did a piece on The Clam Box a few weeks ago, in fact.
Whole bellies are where it’s *at*. They’re sweet and soft and much more flavorful than their strip counterparts. Oh, how I hate clam strips. HATE.
21. Andrea | October 5th, 2007 at 9:12 am
I say swimsuit. I’m with Schnozz. The day I soap up while wearing a water clothing article is the day it is a bathing suit.
I also say sherbet. And dude, I HATE “normalcy” as much as you hate “sherbert”. Normalcy is NOT a word. It is normality. Although my writer friend says that when something is pervasive enough in daily use for long enough, it goes from being a wrong word to an evolved word. Psh. Normality. End of story.
Yeah, I get aggravated with my husband about the home invasion business because he’ll leave his truck unlocked with the garage door opener on the visor, and then he won’t lock the garage-to-kitchen door. Hello! OPEN INVITATION! And he’ll also leave our first floor windows wide open overnight or when he leaves and all it would take is a person with a pocket-knife to the screens and we lose our sense of safety like that *snap*. I’ve been home at the time of an invasion, (and I won’t go into details, except to say that we were sleeping and didn’t know of the break in until after the sun came up and the people were long gone, so there was no radiator business) and it effs with the mind, it does. So I feel the right to nag my husband (who grew up in a town where they didn’t lock doors) until he finally relents and starts agreeing that IT’S NOT THE SAME WORLD IT ONCE WAS!
22. jonniker | October 5th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Andrea: Your friend is right: same thing with sherbert. Although with normalcy, there are some who argue that it’s always been a word, but wasn’t commonly used until Harding resurrected it. Which: um, seriously? I don’t think so. I’m okay with it being used with his exact phrase “return to normalcy,” but outside of that, I try to avoid it, though I am CERTAIN I’ve slipped up.
(SHERBERT OMG THERE ARE SO MANY OF YOU SHERBERT PEOPLE!)
23. annabanana | October 5th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Sherbert all the way. And I eat it. Love the rainbow variety. Swimsuits are for swimmers. The competitive kind..you know Mark Spitz? And Bathing Suits are for sun bathers & for general frolliking in the water. I have a question for the Word Nerds and I think I know the answer but here goes:
My husband says for example: ‘We had two choices and ended OUT going with the cost effective one.”
I say: “We ended UP going with the cost effective one.”
I think I’m write, but I’ve been listening to him talk this way for so long that I’m starting to question it and I”m also starting to say OUT.
WHICH IS IT and WHY? so that I can explain to him…nicely of course
Thx,
Banana
24. Jeanne | October 5th, 2007 at 9:57 am
I say sherbert too, although I know that it’s not correct. I use swimming suit and swimsuit, but rarely say bathing suit. I’m on board with all the rest of the ‘fustrated’ folks, and will also throw in ‘excape’ as another huge pet peeve. My Grandma says WalmarK and KMarK, but she’s 89 so it’s kind of endearing.
My husband NEVER locks our house or garage doors. He’s the last to leave the house every day, so it never happens (much like making the bed, but that’s another rant…). When he’s out of town for work the only time the doors are unlocked is for the brief moments when I’m entering or exiting the house.
25. Leah | October 5th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Wimbleton = NO SUCH THING. Coming from a state where the locals constantly apostrophe their mid-word “t”s (e.g., mauw’in for mountain, Cli-en for Clinton), you’d think I’d be thankful for any “t” they can give me, no matter where it falls, but NO.
Here’s something tragic: Webster’s says “nucular” is a valid pronunciation variant of “nuclear.” O sad new world!
26. Leah | October 5th, 2007 at 10:18 am
CLAM BOX!
27. Shelly | October 5th, 2007 at 11:05 am
OMG—can we be BFF’s?
I have a huge hangup with language. I am POSITIVE I’m not an expert and I read an email I sent to someone recently, and had mis-typed a word, and it was not pretty–I am mortified, and don’t know how to fix my faux paux.
My hangup is the use of the word MYSELF. “Please contact Mr. Smith or myself if you have questions.” WTF?? Who said this is the proper use of the word? It’s used EVERYWHERE. It’s embarassing, frankly.
Cheers to the other word lovers in the world!
Oh, and it’s SherbET.
28. Shelly | October 5th, 2007 at 11:43 am
Ok….mortification abounds again. Faux Pas, not Faux Paux….
I actually googled Faux Paux before using it, so I wouldn’t look stupid, but guess what? Someone on Google uses Faux Paux incorrectly, too.
29. Kristin H | October 5th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Way to stir up the word people! We are a fierce tribe!
Do you get The Editorial Eye? LOVE.
http://www.eeicom.com/eye/
30. Jen | October 5th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
As a former Friendly’s employee who dealt with many an order for “orange sherBERT,” I have been a sherbet girl for a while now.
Also, I will laugh at farts and fart jokes and pretty much anything fart related until I am old and gray. I have already warned my husband that we will probably be the two old coots in the corner of the nursing home giggling over toots. We’re OK with that.
31. Jilly | October 5th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I say “swimming costume” in a British accent, what does that make me pray tell?
32. jonniker | October 5th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I LOVE “swimming costume” in a British accent. I want to steal it!
Also, Jen, I, too, am a former Friendly’s employee. HA.
ALSO LEAH OMG CLAM BOX. I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE.
33. Susan | October 5th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I say sherbert, even though I know it’s wrong. Also, I’m in the swimsuit or swimming suit camp and I like to pronounce the first R in February, which is omitted by many. While we’re on a roll of language pet peeves, how about supposably instead of its correct cousin, supposedly? Aaarggh! That one gets me every time.
34. H | October 5th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
SherBERT because that’s how my family said it and now I can’t break the habit. Swimsuit. Nuclear – please, don’t tell me nucular is acceptable now.
My pet peeve: realitor instead of realtor
I have issues with foyer. It seems like a lot of people pronounce the “er” at the end. I know the correct pronunciation is foyAY but I feel pretentious if I say it that way so I say “front entry” to avoid the word. Now that I typed that, it seems pornographic so foyAY it is.
35. Mauigirl52 | October 5th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
I have always been confused whether it is sherbert or sherbet and as a result I just don’t say the word. Luckily most things of that type are now called sorbet!
I have a kind of OCD-ish trait in that I simply cannot pronounce a word I can’t spell. And I guess I didn’t ever bother to look up sherbet to see how it is actuallly spelled. Apparently the word is from a Turkish word, which does NOT have the extra “r” but the “sherbert” spelling is an alternate spelling. I think it’s just one of those dictionary entries that are added because so many people mispronounce the word.
I have trouble with foyer vs. foyay also.
One of my pet peeves is people who pronounce poinsettia “poinsetta.” There is an “i” in there! It’s not pointsett-a. It’s “poinsett-ee-a.” But there are many who would disagree.
36. Heath | October 6th, 2007 at 6:22 am
SherBET.
And? I HATE when people say “yooman” for human and also “vinegar-ette” for “vinaigrette.” Argh.
We are a bunch of cranks, here.
37. Jennifer | October 6th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Annabanana has the true and correct definition: if you’re a fitness or competitive swimmer, and you wear a Speedo or TYR or Arena or other brand lycra skin-suit, that’s a swimsuit. The nice-looking fashionable ones that you use sunscreen with because you’re hanging out in them — those are bathing suits.
38. Jennifer | October 6th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
I want to know if people pronounce the T in “often.” Is it pronounced OFFEN or OF-TEN? For those who do pronounce the T, then how do you pronounce “soften?” Shouldn’t they rhyme?
39. Julianna | October 7th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Um.
I say bathingsuit.
BUT.
I do, or did, wear ban de soleil. See, they had this awesome sunblock that was SPF 15 AND had self-tanner in it, so if you wanted to get real nice and brown-like in just one afternoon, just lube up with the old BDS and you’d be good to go.
Yeah, I know, cancer and all that. Suspect moles.
Well, they don’t make it anymore, and I’m forced to layer Clarins products to achieve a similar, though inferior, affect.
And I’ve upgraded to SPF 30, so all you laying-out haters can just chill.
And, I find clams squicky but will gladly eat ama ebi–raw shrimp, complete with a glorious fried head with eyeballs and brains and al that.
40. metalia | October 8th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Re: The Sherbet thing…Where does sorbet fall into things? are sherbet and sorbet the same thing? I SERIOUSLY DON’T KNOW. Oh, and I’m firmly on the “bathing suit” side of the fence; I giggled aloud at your description of “swimsuit” people.
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