And Through the Wire
October 10th, 2007
First, can I fleetingly mention how much I adore Pushing Daisies? Love. LOVE. Who is this Chuck actress? And when can I make out with her? Because I love her. LOVE. And also, she’s more than a little hot.
So! Before the man in my life books me on the next flight to Chuck’s hometown for the mere potential for some hot girl-on-girl action, let’s move into an ungraceful segue, shall we? One of my longtime friends deliberately, and rather calculatedly, didn’t invite me to her wedding. However, she invited literally every other friend in our small circle, and I can’t help but be … stung by this. I’m also stung by the fact that she still hasn’t told me she’s married.
That kind of sucks, and I think maybe … I think maybe we’re done, and that makes me a little sad, though if I’m honest with myself, it was a long time coming. But mostly, it makes me angry, because really, it’s not the wedding, it’s the conscious decision not to tell me about it that gets me.
Sorry. I usually don’t do that, bringing out the dirty laundry and all. And to the closet it goes again!
Moving on! I’m a bit disturbed lately by the appearance of antibacterial gels in ladies’ rooms, very often in lieu of actual soap, given that the antibacs merely kill the germs, but do not whisk them away. And personally, I don’t necessarily groove to a bunch of pee molecule carcasses dangling about on people’s hands, when they could be swirling down the drain where they belong. I also might add that I am not proud of the fact that it does color my opinion of someone if I learn that they don’t wash their hands after using a public restroom. I know it’s awful, but it does.
Speaking of restrooms, as a vague (and clearly very scientific) anthropological study: which stall do you gravitate towards? I find myself mysteriously drawn to either the farthest stall or, if there is one, to the handicapped stall. This concerns me, for I think it’s a very popular choice, as many of us don’t like to feel encased like a sausage while we pee, and hovering is hard in a single stall. I also believe that I’ve read studies to this effect, and doesn’t it have to do with pheromones or something? Gross. It’s gross. Am I attracted to these stalls because of the number of people who use them? Is that it? Wait wait — don’t tell me.
And finally, I live in a relatively small neighborhood that, like every other neighborhood in the state, is just off of what is basically a highway, meaning that I only run in the same three sad little circles all morning long. This means, unfortunately, that I pass the same neighbors over and over and over again, and while the first time I smile and say hello, I am at an utter loss as to what to do during laps two through eleven. My plan thus far has been to alternately wave and stare awkwardly at the ground, assuming I’m not grunting, panting and otherwise focusing all of my energy on merely surviving. What, however, is the proper etiquette? I’m assuming picking your underwear out of your ass is not an appropriate greeting, however I seem to do that a lot.
Sorry for whining. I hope you have a great Thursday. (THURSDAY. HALLELUJAH THURSDAY) (Even though I have to work Sunday.)
*Peter Gabriel
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
46 Comments Add your own
1. Jess | October 10th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
I usually go in the first or biggest stalls. Also, do you judge people who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom only if it’s a public restroom? Because I don’t see the difference between having pee molecules on your hand in a public restroom vs. in your own private bathroom. Both ways are bad.
Also again, it’s a little scary how easy it is for weddings to ruin friendships. I don’t understand why that woman would do that to you. Is it really worth ending a friendship over? Why wouldn’t she at least talk to you and say she’s getting married and having a small wedding and trying to trim the guest list. I wish people didn’t have to be so high-drama about their weddings (I say right before I start planning my own).
2. EDW | October 10th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
OMG, love Pushing Daisies! So fun, and I was looking up Chuck on IMDB as the credits rolled. Weird.
Stalls – the very first by myself, the bigger ones with my child. More room. The very first because I once read those are the cleanest since people tend to walk by them. I don’t know if that’s true, but I’m sticking to it.
As for the neighbors, say hi and then 2nd to 11th time, just smile. I hate that negotiation. I’m a neighborhood hermit!
3. jonniker | October 10th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Jess: Personally, I was my hands after every bathroom visit except for the ones in the middle of the night. But it’s hard to judge/tell what people do in their own homes, or even in your home, because I’m not listening to whether the water is running or not. So public behavior is all I have to go on.
Also, sigh. Weddings. I’m usually pretty understanding about them,because, yah, oh my god, EXPENSIVE. I get it. But every other one of our friends? And to leave it to THEM to tell me, knowing they would have to? That gets me. I don’t get that.
This might make it worse: she was one of my (three) bridesmaids. Sigh.
4. Janssen | October 10th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
I like a stall that has on side to the wall, whether that be the first, the last or the handicapped. I just. . . don’t like having people urinating on both sides of me, I guess.
And, I’m so sorry about your friend. I would be beyond mad too. Weddings make people insane (unfortunately, some people get even more insane after they get married).
5. Lara | October 10th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
Hi – long time reader, first time commenter (wave).
You know why I love your blog? Because most days it sounds like I could have written it…you know, if I were funnier and could actually write.
Pushing Daisies: So in love! I IMDB’d Chuck as well and she’s from a little town in England that one of my best friends happens to be from – weee. So perhaps I shall visit and stalk one day. I’ll take pictures. Laughed out loud tonight when Dandelion guy gave chase in the Hummer. I never laugh at loud at tv. Good stuff.
Bathroom: Was pondering this the other day. I need a wall and prefer the handicapped stall as well.
Wedding invite: Any chance yours got lost in the mail? Maybe?
6. Jeanne B. | October 10th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
New reader first time commenter here…
Pushing Daisies—haven’t caught it yet. Plan to catch up on abc.com.
Weddings/friends: suck. So do Funerals/friends. I lost both parents last year and one of my so-called good friends completely vanished from my life after I called to tell her. Not a card, not a bouquet, didn’t come to the funeral, and never called to ask how I was. (b***h) Sorry that you got dissed.
Bathroom: preferably NOT the first one, and please leave the stall on either side of me empty. Please note that I cannot start the flow when it is too quiet in there because I think you’re going to hear it and laugh (I get embarrassed). Please leave. Hurry. Back teeth floating. Hand washing? Sometimes. I get dry hands so without lotion available I tend to skip unless I’m at the gym and others are in there because, gross, I’d want them to wash THEIRS before sweating all over the equipment I’m about to use.
Airing Dirty Laundry: isn’t that what blogs are for?
7. Mauigirl52 | October 10th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Pee molecules carcasses! Snort. I love it.
I too judge people who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom (I don’t care what they do at home, just don’t gross me out at work and touch the doorknob on the way out after not washing hands). There used to be a woman at work who never washed her hands after using the bathroom. I couldn’t believe she would walk right out without washing them, when she KNEW I was in there at the same time and would KNOW she didn’t.
I’m with you on the stall choices as well. It’s not pheromones, it’s a semblance of privacy. And you know what really ticks me off? When I’ve gone into one of those more privately located stalls – mabe for a reason, if you know what I mean – and somebody comes barging right into the one right next to me when the whole rest of the row is available! Have a little discretion, people!
8. Artemisia | October 10th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Oh, my. I was my hands, even in the middle of the night. If I ever find out who that woman is that pees next me (me in the farthest stall, she in the middle stall) and THEN JUST LEAVES THE BATHROOM without washing, I’ll smack her. And then leave her a Germ-X bottle with a bow on it. So at least her pee molecules are dead. Jesus.
9. Kara | October 10th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
I’m with Lara, any chance the invite got lost?
True story, in High School my best friend since kindergarten was having a quincenera (ya however its spelled) and was talking about it for months. I kept waiting for my invite thinking there was no way she could be rude enough to talk about it in front of me and not invite me. The invite never came.
Months afterwards when I hadnt talked to her I finally had the guts to ask why I wasnt invited. She was horribly embarrased and said that mine was mailed and she was upset with me for not coming or not saying why I wasn’t. So seriously, lost in the mail.
Here’s hoping.
Since I almost always have my preschoolers with me I go to the larges stall. by myself, the 2nd stall from the front if I have a choice. My luck has always been that there is no TP in the 1st stall.
10. Neil | October 11th, 2007 at 12:17 am
Anna Friel has been around for several years, and is a popular British TV star. She does a pretty good job of hiding her accent.
11. MsPrufrock | October 11th, 2007 at 2:57 am
Chuck is played by Anna Friel, a British actress, as others have mentioned before me. You’ll be pleased to know that she was the centre of some media furor back in the 90s for being involved in a big ol’ lesbian snog on the (then) popular soap, Brookside. She already has a sapphic background (albeit professional rather than personal), so you are set.
I never go to the first few stalls. Ever. My work bathroom has seven stalls and I usually choose number five. The handicapped one oddly has a shower in it, so I steer clear of that one. Too weird.
12. AndreAnna | October 11th, 2007 at 3:46 am
I am a psycho hand washer. I’m one of those women who push down the paper towel,THEN wash my hands, nay, scrub, then use the paper towel to open the door. Because I know people who just rinse, shake dry and then TOUCH the door! With their peepee hand! Or worse! Ugh. It’s so gross to think about, but I try not to get too OCD about it and just stick with my routine, hoping I did enough.
Why oh why would people NOT want to wash away germs? Germs that could make you sick, your kids sick, etc. It takes 30 seconds. I just. don’t. get. it.
13. Blythe | October 11th, 2007 at 5:39 am
I read somewhere (let’s pretend I didn’t say ‘somewhere’ and instead said ‘Scientific American’ or something reliable) that the two cleanest stalls in almost any public bathroom are the very first stall near the door and the handicap stall because they are used least often. The stall second from the door gets the most traffic.
More useless information taking up valuable real estate in my brain. Space that could be used for remembering my own cell phone number, for example.
14. Sadie | October 11th, 2007 at 6:05 am
First, I thought for a second you were using the title of a Kanye West song and I was like, “wow, cool, that’s not Jonna’s usual musical direction…”
Second, sorry about the asshole bride maneuver your ‘friend’ pulled – that is pretty classless. If it makes you feel better, a good friend who I asked to be one of my (three!) bridesmaids actually dropped out of my life and then recused herself from the bridal party between the time I asked her and the date we needed to order dresses by (maybe 6 months’ time). And I assure you I was no Bridezilla, and it wasn’t a money issue (which would have been fine and no hard feelings, if it WERE). I did not invite her to my wedding either. Nor have I spoken to her since. So, this shit happens, is all.
Bathrooms – I never pick the first stall, I always assume that’s the one everyone picks. I pick the third-fourth, or the handicapped. Also, I always wash my hands after using a public restroom, but I never do at home unless I know I somehow peed on myself. I mean, I am pretty adept at not touching anything but the wad of toilet paper…
15. Nilsa S. | October 11th, 2007 at 7:04 am
You and another blogger, Gina, need to commiserate on this ex-friend thing. She just wrote about it the other day. http://ginacoggio.wordpress.com/2007/10/07/wish-you-were-here/. Friendships, like life, come and go. Doesn’t mean it’s easy dealing with their death.
I read a while ago a statistic about the first stall being the LEAST used. So, that’s where I tend to gravitate. I also walk out of my way to a further restroom at work where 100% of the women I’ve run into wash their hands. The restroom closest to me … at least half the women walk out without washing. Gross.
As a runner, when I see others multiple times … the first time is a hello. The others are usually a eye-meet-eye acknowledgment and no more. The neighbors have to know you’re sucking wind and cannot muster more than one hello!
16. jonniker | October 11th, 2007 at 7:09 am
So, ah, my invitation most definitely did not get lost in the mail. She discussed my lack of invite with our other friends and said that they were welcome to tell me “if it came up” and she didn’t get to me first — mostly, that’s what’s got me all riled up. It’s now sometime later, and they’ve told me, but she has yet to tell me that she’s even gotten married.
Normally I’m pretty cool with wedding stuff — seriously, if she’d just told me, it’d have been no biggie. But now it’s a thing. A THING. It’s actually A Thing that I somewhat regret mentioning, as I don’t normally do that sort of thing. Let me say thing one more time.
THING.
17. Tessie | October 11th, 2007 at 7:51 am
I’m a first staller too ever since I saw some Dateline report that it’s usually the least used/cleanest. I’m thinking that’s true, since I’ll often go into the first stall at work at 9 or 10 o’clock and the seat is still up, meaning that no one (well, no WOMAN) has used it yet that day.
18. My Buddy Mimi | October 11th, 2007 at 8:17 am
I used to always go for the handicap stall, until I came out of the stall once and saw an actual handicapped person trying to force her way into one of the regular stalls. I felt terrible at the time, but looking back at it, if you were handicapped, wouldn’t you just wait for the handicapped stall to open up? It’s not like I was in there that long…
19. ie | October 11th, 2007 at 8:19 am
I always used to use the handicap stall (still prefer it) but now I use the first stall because I saw the same report about it being the least used. However…if all of us who saw/heard that report now use the first stall…I think it kind of got negated, since we now all use it? Hmmm…
I was never taught to wash my hands (really!) but I taught myself (since I’m all grown up now and very squeegie about pee-related germs) (or bathroom germs in general) so it’s icky-yicky gross to see some mama take her kid to the toity and then neither of them washes!
20. ali | October 11th, 2007 at 9:13 am
pushing daisies. perfection.
21. Audrey | October 11th, 2007 at 9:14 am
I tend to head for the 2nd stall. I assume the 1st is most popular, and that grosses me out, so I bypass it whenever possible. I don’t like to think about all the other asses that have been there and what they may have left behind. I also judge people harshly when I see them leave without washing their hands.
22. Kathryn | October 11th, 2007 at 10:05 am
I generally go for the handicapped stall if available, or the far stall. And I am also a stickler for handwashing, but I’ll tell you what really stirs my ire (and I think you’re not going to like it): hoverers. I myself am not a hoverer, because I cannot crouch and pee without it dribbling down my leg. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve plopped down onto a seat that I thought was just the usual type of ass-and-thigh-dirty, only to find that someone has dribbled all over the damn seat and my leg is now coated in someone else’s piss and other bodily fluids. Even wiping down the seat isn’t always effective (and still–the pee molecules are still there clinging to the seat, ready to make the leap onto my ass and legs).
Please, for the love of dry legs, women, stop the hovering nonsense! I do not want your pee! I do not want to be responsible for wiping it up! If the ass-and-thigh filth is too much for you, cover the seat.
23. jonniker | October 11th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Kathryn:
I don’t hover either. I agree re: the pee molecules. WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE. I’ve been known to, um, anti-bac the seat in desperation at times. Don’t tell anyone.
24. H | October 11th, 2007 at 10:33 am
The older I get, the more I fret about public restroom germs. I used to simply wash my hands. Now I open and close the stall doors with my elbow — not that a germy elbow is great, but my twisted logic tells me those germs won’t find their way to my mouth or face because I’m just not that flexible. I always wash my hands and if I have to touch the towel dispenser, I find a way to do it without using my freshly washed hands. Then I open the restroom door with the paper towel or something to avoid touching the door handle. I’m really not a germ-a-phobe at home, but public restrooms really get to me now. I even get a little creeped out by any public door handle but I’m not as obsessive about those. I probably should be. Isn’t that what all the potty-handed people use after they leave the restroom?!
Pushing Daisies is great – I love it.
Sorry about your friend. I think writing about it might help you “process” the hurt…maybe? I hope so.
25. Keri | October 11th, 2007 at 10:54 am
I don’t know how people can not wash their hands after using the restroom (Although, along with another commenter above, I was never taught to wash my hands either -I know gross.). I also don’t like it when people just run their hands under water for less than 2 seconds – that doesn’t count.
26. Andrea | October 11th, 2007 at 10:58 am
First or last stall. Lessens the chances of someone coming into the stall next to me. Like Mauigirl, if there are more stalls available and no one else is in the entire bathroom, I get aggravated when the one right next to me is chosen. Give me pee space. I tend to use the handicapped when I have my son with me.
Ex friend stuff: that sucks. But if you said it’s a long time in coming, maybe it’s for the best, even if it does hurt while the split is going on. Have your mutual friends offered up any other explanation? They’ve obviously talked to her about it if she gave them the “go ahead” to tell you if she didn’t first. She should have some integrity. That’s just wrong.
PUSHING DAISIES! LOVE! LOVE! PIE! LOVE! And I too chuckled at the Hummer chasing the Dandy Lion. Though Olive annoyed me in the first episode, I can’t help but feel a little sad for her. Though I find it weird that she lives next door to Ned as well as works for him. But I love the Willy Wonka feel of it. So different than the other dramas on TV now that take themselves way too seriously.
27. Beth | October 11th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Restrooms: I go for the cleanest-looking, and yes, I have walked out of some restrooms (preferring to hold it) if all of them look gross. If I’m with my kid, I go for the handicapped stall. I don’t usually like the first stall because there’s usually a larger-than-normal gap between the doorpost and the wall, and if there’s a line of women waiting, I imagine someone is watching me. I’m neurotic. Oh, and the hovering thing is so gross if the hoverer is, er, negligent. I will never forget waiting in a long line to use a public restroom, and entering a stall just after another woman exited, and seeing the seat COMPLETELY covered in pee. I had the urge to hunt her down afterward and scold her. She probably didn’t wash her hands after hovering, either. ;^)
Wedding: You could send your erstwhile friend a congratulatory card with a message like “So sorry I missed your wedding, but I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.” Then never speak of or to her again. Going out classy is a good thing.
28. Kathryn | October 11th, 2007 at 11:26 am
Whew! I interpreted your use of the word “hover” to mean that you actually hover while peeing, and I was wondering if I’d ever be able to read your blog again without thinking, “Damn that Jonniker and her pee-dribbling ways!”
I’ve actually become way more judgmental about the hovering than I am about the hand-washing, as the number of times I’ve sat on a wet seat has increased. The anti-bac is a great idea–I can’t believe I’ve never thought of it! I always have either gel or wipes (I prefer the wipes for the “actual removal of germs instead of just killing them dead” factor). But still, it just rankles that some women think it’s okay to let others mop up their literal filth.
29. lightspeed | October 11th, 2007 at 11:31 am
If I may…About your ‘friend’ who got married recently. Don’t let this take up any more brain space. Go ahead and call or write her. Tell her you have heard she recently got married and that you wanted to wish her well. Sincerely. She will probably be weird and cagey/hyper-happy in response. Just let her. And then I wouldn’t worry about it any more. If she would still like to be a friend, she’ll fess up to her piggishness. If she’s just too self-centered, you probably won’t hear anything more from her. Either way, you’ve done what is appropriate. Anything more is out of your control.
30. Jacquelyn | October 11th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Dude, your girlfriend sucks. Cross her off the list.
Also, you totally need new running panties. The kind that are ugly and cover a lot of rear end but that you don’t have to keep pulling on.
31. Val | October 11th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
What do you do if you are in a restaurant bathroom and an obvious restaurant employee does not wash? Do you tell management? Do you leave? Do you pretend it never happened?
I was recently on business road trip, and I stopped at a fast food restaurant to use the bathroom (because unless there is a Quick Trip nearby, fast food restaurants usually have cleaner restrooms). I was also going to grab something to go on my way back out. HOWEVER, while I was at the sink washing my hands, an employee exited one of the stalls, checked her makeup in the mirror and LEFT. And so I left. The restaurant. Forever.
32. Kristin H | October 11th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Hovering: gross. I am firmly in the camp of people who place TP on the seat before sitting down. This has the added benefit of highlighting anyone’s pee on the seat before you sit in it, and ALSO identifies a stall with a lack of paper before the situation turns becomes critical.
Once, I got crabs from a toilet seat in the college dorm. My doctor clearly didn’t believe that I was not having wild coed sex with crab-ridden boys. But I wasn’t! Really!
And so I use TP on ALL public toilet seats. Always. And I have taught my 3-yr old daughter to do the same. Pee molecules? Try the grossness that is crabs. I wanted to set my grly bits on fire, I tell you.
33. H | October 11th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Oh please — yes, do tell the manager of the restaurant if you notice an employee didn’t wash his/her hands. There was a serious Hep A near-epidemic recently in the small town in which my mom lives, and it began because a young restaurant worker didn’t wash his hands. Some people became seriously ill. Over 1000 people were offered immunizations (those who were at “the right point” in the incubation period) by the state health department. The kid didn’t tell anyone about his symptoms for a while, so by the time they figured out what was going on, it affected many.
Sorry, that sounds alarmist, but it’s true. My mom was on edge for weeks.
34. Suebob | October 11th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Pee is sterile, so don’t panic over the germyness of it. YES, I wash my hands. With soap and warm water while humming “Happy Birthday.” But not because of pee. Because the world is a germy place in general.
Re: running in circles – civil inattention – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_inattention
It’s actually quite polite to ignore people if you are doing it to avoid awkward social interaction.
35. Lauren | October 11th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Am I the only one who thinks men who don’t wash is worse than women? I mean, they actually have to touch themselves when they pee, then not wash and that’s just gross. My husband is a fanatical hand-washer and if he sees someone he knows who doesn’t wash, they are forever tainted in his mind. He will go out of his way to never shake their hand again. I still agree that women who don’t wash is gross, but to me the men are worse.
LOVE Pushing Daisies! Watching Ned and Chuck together just makes me smile.
36. Emily | October 11th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
WHY DO WOMEN CHARACTERS ON TV HAVE TO HAVE MALE NAMES?
It’s really starting to make me itch. Otherwise, Pushing Daisies is terribly cute.
37. Trina | October 11th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Dammit! I’ve always used the first stall because I, too, read somewhere that it was the least-used stall. Apparently everyone else is doing the same, so I have to come up with a new stall and rationale. Grrr! I always wipe the seat down first, whether it looks dry or not, and use those covers whenever available. I wash and avoid the door handles because of all the beyotches who don’t, but I’m too lazy to use the paper towel to open the door.
And put that “friend” out of your head. She’s a childish weenie and doesn’t deserve any more of your thoughts or emotions.
38. Heather B. | October 11th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
I just can’t get over the whole non-invite thing. Did she think you wouldn’t notice? Even if it was a long time coming, it’s almost as if she didn’t respect the friendship in the first place. Then again there is more than likely more to the story but I am offended and stung by this for you.
39. Suebob | October 12th, 2007 at 7:08 am
I have to admit that I had an annoying “friend” who I could not shake. Very barnacly. I tried not calling, not writing, being cold and distant when she called – but she never took the hint. She finally sent me a wedding invite and I didn’t reply in any way. That did it. I’m a big chicken about confrontation, and while I knew I really didn’t want to be around her, that if I told her that, she would want a huge explanation and to “try to work things out” – but I truly just did not like her. I am sure she is a fine person – just not for me.
40. slynnro | October 12th, 2007 at 11:48 am
I’ve actually read a study that found that the second stall is the busiest. So I avoid like the plague.
41. TwoBusy | October 12th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
That “friend” thing sucks the big one. It certainly seems like she was deliberately and pointedly trying to exclude you, which is a truly crappy thing to do.
The question is: why wouldn’t you be done after that? Seriously… what’s the point?
42. Swistle | October 13th, 2007 at 7:50 am
I remember reading that the farthest stalls don’t get used as often because of some unexplained impulse for people to head for the middler ones, so now I choose the end ones deliberately–even though I have that same impulse to head for the middle ones.
It sounds like that friendship is definitely over.
43. winterwheat | October 14th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Hi honey! I firmly believe that the bathroom stall you pick is an indicator of how you would select a man with whom to have a one-night stand Do you pick the first available? The most private? The biggest? I’m a size girl myself, so I always go for the ADA stall.
Your “friend” is envious of you. She wants to one-up you by withholding information that, upon being revealed, will make you realize with no uncertainty that from her perspective at least, you are not the Most Important Person in the room. This wouldn’t even be an issue if she didn’t already fear that others she cares about think you ARE the most important person in the room, hence the envy. I’m sorry you got snubbed, but smart, attractive, alluring people often get snubbed by others attempting to even the score. Bummer. I hope she approaches her marriage with more maturity.
And ITA about hand sanitizer. Did you ever read that book about the meat industry, I think by Eric Schlosser? Fast Food Nation, maybe? There’s a chapter about irradiation, and this meat inspector who’s against it is explaining that it just makes meat packers feel that they can be more careless with processing. His quote, I think, is something along the lines of, “I don’t care if it’s ‘clean’ shit, I still don’t want shit in my meat.” Nuff said.
44. Josh | October 15th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Wow yeah, actually there are carefully defined procedures set in place for where you do your business as a man. Some times you run into annoying bastards who are unaware of or ignore these rules for propper placement. In fact men have a lots of behavioral rules besides picking a place to relieve yourself. Eye contact and general communication is generally prohibited. (Larry Craig anyone?) Here’s a simple educational video about propper mens room etiquette:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw
As for washing your hands, I often don’t. Sometimes I do. I would even say that when in public, I usually do. But some times I say screw it and wipe them on my shirt or pants. You see I started life as a bit of a germ-O-phobe. But round about the end of high school I found myself working various construction jobs. Many of these building sites had no running water, and required workers to use Port-A-Johns. (commonly known as Satan’s locker-O-torment-and-suffering) No matter how hard you try, you will eventually have to use one of these fine portable stank boxes, have no way to wash your hands, spend the rest of the day getting dirt and grime smeared into every nook and cranny on your body as you sweat a small childs worth of gatorade out your skin. And sooner or later all of this will happen before lunch, leaving you filthy and hungry with no way to clean. And despite the gag factor of said situation, you would probably do like I did and bite the bullet, eating with dirty hands. And if you do this every day for a couple of years, you will eventually no longer give a flying rat’s ass about germs or personal hygiene in any form.
45. Style Bard | October 15th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Really? No one else watched the second episode and had exactly two thoughts, those being:
Yay! Chenowith gets to sing!
Overshadowed and out-girthed by:
OMG CHUCK PUT SOME LIPSTICK ON SOMEONE PUT LIPSTICK ON CHUCK PLEASE I CAN’T. WATCH. ANYMORE. NOOOOO.
Nobody? Just me?
46. Bookmarks Tagged Ungracef&hellip | December 31st, 2007 at 6:34 am
[...] all bookmarks tagged ungraceful And Through the Wire saved by 1 others RUMBLEINN bookmarked on 12/31/07 | http://www.jonniker.com all the news saved by 1 others FeLiPeOvErPrOtEcTeD bookmarked on 12/31/07 | orbitando.com Traveling Along in Second Life saved by 1 others hermy1granger bookmarked on 12/31/07 | http://www.blogula-rasa.com Balance restored to the Universe, Pebble finished … saved by 1 others hermy1granger bookmarked on 12/31/07 | singlebarbed.com Oh my, I’ve fallen in love saved by 1 others hermy1granger bookmarked on 12/31/07 | thearosenburg.wordpress.com Narrowboat Balmaha – Kilby Bridge again. saved by 1 others hermy1granger bookmarked on 12/31/07 | balmaha.blog.co.uk Little platoons need rations too. saved by 1 others hermy1granger bookmarked on 12/31/07 | hopisen.wordpress.com Sleeping May Be Hazardous to Your Health saved by 1 others hermy1granger bookmarked on 12/31/07 | lyndasworld.wordpress.com USB Blade is Silicon System’s Solid State Space … saved by 1 others hermy1granger bookmarked on 12/31/07 | http://www.getusb.info It’s been a year saved by 1 others RUMBLEINN bookmarked on 12/31/07 | scribbleandscribe.wordpress.com Giving Daybreak OC A Break saved by 1 others RUMBLEINN bookmarked on 12/31/07 | emphasisallmine.typepad.com November 21, Positive Affirmation for Surrender saved by 1 others FeLiPeOvErPrOtEcTeD bookmarked on 12/31/07 | http://www.dailyaffirm.com Don’t Screw Up Your Future saved by 1 others theoldMCRCRAZEDFAN bookmarked on 12/31/07 | http://www.educatednation.com [...]
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