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October 14th, 2007
Warning: I’m about to talk about lunch! Run for your lives!
There are many reasons why eating an entire cantaloupe for lunch is a bad idea — I’m not sure it’s the most nutritious solution, for example, despite its high concentration of vitamins C and A. And fiber! Let’s not forget fiber! Let’s also not forget the two apples and banana I had for snacks, and who knew that too much fiber was a bad thing? I spent the majority of Thursday afternoon face down on my desk praying for a hasty escape and some sort of way for me to finish deadline without losing my mind. I was sweating! Clutching my abdomen! And did I mention the sweating? Over a cantaloupe?
Never again. You think that fruit is a good idea for lunch, and then it all goes to hell. It’s not a good idea. No. I’m still paying for that cantaloupe. Please learn from the error of my ways.
I watched a lot of sports this weekend, and while there is oh so much we could all say about that, I walk away with one odd fear I’ve had my entire life: The fear of the high five.
I hate the high five. I’ve never been able to do it properly, and worse, I have never — and will never — initiated a high five, because I live in mortal terror of being left hanging. That fear of rejection is so great, and how many times have you watched a sporting event, only to see this poor guy, likely the nerd of the team (Maybe because everyone’s pissed that you’re overpaid! I’m looking at you, J.D. Drew!) initiate a high five to the cool guy (Papi!) and he just blows right past him into the dugout? And it’s FILMED on national television, that moment where he was publicly shunned.
That’s never going to be me, no sirree bob. My hands remain firmly at my side, and if it’s initiated, I am a half-assed high-fiver, because what if it wasn’t meant for me? What if I raise my hand and they meant to high five the woman behind me?
This is all coming across as very sad, isn’t it? Like some kind of metaphor . And while maybe it is, I just really think that the high five is kind of lame, leaving countless individuals poised for public rejection. I have no plans to participate in the high five in the near future.
I’ll spare you the details of the rest of my weekend (Hanging blinds! Vacuuming! Cleaning toilets! Dog farts!) (Seriously, enough with the dog farts, what the hell is she eating?), but I will tell you that we ordered a Bissell steam cleaner, and it will come as no surprise when I tell you that I can’t wait for its arrival. In fact, I am downright giddy.
And finally, both a product recommendation and a bit of a personal (har HAR!) complaint. Let’s start with the rec, shall we? Ah, Clinique. So inconsistent. So good and yet, so bad. But as a person with oily skin who lives in a raging hot climate, it’s nearly impossible to find an oil-free moisturizer with sunscreen. Enter Superdefense.
Love. Matte finish, 25 SPF, no breakouts. No one paid me to say that, I promise. But a query: can anyone recommend a great oil-free moisturizer for nighttime, sans SPF, bearing in mind that when I say my skin is oily, I mean it is really and truly OILY, like a sweaty slice of pizza in the hot sun?
Enter rant: “Don’t take it personal.” OH MY GOD, truly, if one more person says this to me — in lieu of “personally” — it’s possible I might reach across the table and shave their eyebrows off. I’ve started carrying a disposable Schick solely for this purpose. PERSONALLY. PERSONALLY. It’s an ADVERB. YOU CANNOT TAKE SOMETHING PERSONAL.
Although I really shouldn’t throw stones, because remember, I thought frou frou was pronounced “frow frow.”
Ooh, ooh! I forgot! You know what I did on Friday? I had lunch with TB. And while the groupthink-y culture of “I love you, man!” blogging kind of grates my cheese, because frankly, I don’t think all of it is genuine, really I don’t, and I don’t mean that in a bad way, I just mean … oh, I don’t know, I guess it all sounds disingenuous after a while, because it’s sort of required after meeting another blogger, you know? And I hate that all of that prefaces with what I have to say, because I can tell you with total sincerity that Tammie is one of the most genuinely kind people I’ve met in a long time, and I was so impressed by her that spending time with her changed me for the rest of the weekend. That’s not hyperbole. I mean it. The world needs more people who are that genuine and pure.
Also, I may have wanted to eat her baby with a side of mayonnaise. He’s that cute.
Happy Monday! Blech!
*Interpol
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
26 Comments Add your own
1. Beth | October 14th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
In my last job, I was at one point expected to not only participate in but actually initiate something called a “high five line.” Naturally, I refused on the grounds that it was a) juvenile and b) really stupid and also that c) I didn’t want to because d) I and everyone else present would have thought I was a massive dork.
However, I now have a two year old and spend a large portion of any given day high-fiving her and other random toddlers who love to get in on the action. Parenthood just destroys all your principles.
2. dcfullest | October 14th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
Try this, it works wonderfully for my oily skin:
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P4656&categoryId=C13452
3. jen | October 14th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
I can manage a high five OK, but I am a truly HORRIBLE hugger/cheek-kisser. I always do something wrong, shove my hand in someone’s armpit, accidentally kiss their neck instead of cheek, etc. I wish people just waved goodbye from a safe, respectful distance.
4. Mary O | October 14th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
I, have oily skin too and I love Philosophy’s Hope in a Bottle.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P4634&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=3866
My only complaint is that it has a slightly medicinal smell, but you get used to it after using it for a while. Also, a little jar of this stuff will last a really long time.
5. Orange Peacock | October 14th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
I have incredibly oil skin, like, see your reflection in my forehead oily. After reading Schnozz’s rant about people who think they are beyond cosmetic redemption, I snagged some Smashbox Photo Finish Light Primer (the light part is important) and liked it so much that I use it in lieu of regular moisturizer. It’s really wonderful – leaves my skin smooth and literally SILKY and shine-free for much longer than anything else I’d ever tried. AND it doesn’t trigger breakouts on my acne-prone bitchy skin. Which is no less than a miracle, given the super-oil and pores so big that they sometimes engulf nearby houses and possibly puppies. I cannot proselytize that stuff enough. It is expensive as sin for something invisible that you just rub on your face (especially since I’m an unpaid 30-hour-a-week intern and fulltime broke-ass student), and it is WORTH EVERY PENNY.
6. slynnro | October 14th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
Similar to personal vs. personally, I loathe when people say something like “It was real good” or “I was real hungry.”
OMG. THE ANNOYANCE.
7. slynnro | October 14th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Also, N.V. Perricone M.D. Face Finishing Moisturizer. If the price scares you, ask Sephora for a sample before you shell out the dough (that’s how I found it). I used to wake up to an oil slick on my face. I no longer do.
8. margot | October 14th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Oooh. I was just at Sephora today asking them about oil-free moisturizer, sans SPF for the nighttime! And as I type right now I’ve got free sample face mask slathered on my mug! Anyway, I was recommended two different moisturizers, the first is DDF Ultra Lite Oil-Free Dew. If you’re just after a basic run, no frills lotion, this could work. I had actually bought this last year and tried using it for day and liked it, but I needed something with spf so I switched. The 2nd option they suggested was Kinerase Clear Skin Moisture Light. This definitely seems like a does-everything-option, the sephora girl could not! stop! raving! about it. I’ve yet to try it though, but I thought I’d throw it out there anyway. Happy Shopping!
9. Schnozz | October 14th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Rant? Was it a rant? See, I like to think it was just INSPIRING and MOTIVATIONAL.
OK, it was kind of a rant. But if my rants make the world just a little more shallow and pretty, it will all have been worth it. I think.
Also: Wait, how is frou frou pronounced?? Crap!
10. erica | October 15th, 2007 at 4:49 am
The fact that you too noticed the blatant high-five dissing that was going on in the dugout = reason #4976 that we are kindred spirits.
I honestly felt BAD for the “dorks” who were just standing there, hoping, praying for even just a quick brush of a pinky against their waiting palms. I had to get up and leave the room because it was making me sad. All the while I was thinking: “There is no ‘I’ in team…everyone should get equal high-fives. Don’t they know this?”
11. TB | October 15th, 2007 at 5:40 am
My father in law, who has a medical degree for god’s sake, says “supposably”. Every. Time. And I don’t think I can correct him. So I live with it.
I thought of you yesterday because we drove out to Matlacha on the tip of Pine Island and passed a few rebel flags.
12. TwoBusy | October 15th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Everyone knows that babies taste much better with mustard than mayonnaise.
13. claire | October 15th, 2007 at 8:36 am
FROW FROW. I can’t stop it, i just can’t. It will always be frow frow for me…
I’m in your camp with ‘taking it PERSONAL’. I hate that, too, and it’s gotten to the point where i have heard it so much on TV (Um, Big Brother?) that i’m wondering if I have it wrong.
It’s PERSONALLY, DAMMIT.
14. Kristin H | October 15th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Ooo, I love, love, love my Bissell Steam Cleaner. It’s so eay to use! (picture me smiling and demonstrating how to use it, with maybe a little gleam on my teeth) (um, not that you know what I look like). Anyway. Enjoy!
I had a friend who made the same mistake, re: an entire canteloupe for lunch. It was not a pretty sight. I’m so sorry.
15. mar | October 15th, 2007 at 11:04 am
my skin is currently in the flush of the junior high acne look due to steroids. yippee! but for oily skin & night moisturizer you need to check out lush cosmetics celestial. (http://usa.lush.com/cgi-bin/lushdb/407?expand=Skincare) smells divine, goes on light & absorbs smoothly. i actually use it on my lips, when i haven’t run out like now. i think there’s a store somewhere in florida.
i’m a jinx when it comes to personal contact; high fives, handshakes, hugs. i always do something wrong/awkward. such is my life.
16. Gentry | October 15th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Dr. Hauschka for those of us with schziophrenic faces. And don’t get me started on split inifinitives. “To boldly go, where no man has…..”
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! My ears are bleeeeeeeeeeading.
17. Mauigirl52 | October 15th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I hate “take it personal” and also – something I’m seeing more and more, in the workplace no less – using the word “loose” instead of “lose.” Drives me nuts.
I LOVE the Bissell steam cleaner. We just got it a few weeks ago and have cleaned our carpets and it gets miraculous amounts of dirt out of them. Who knew all that dirt lurked in our carpets? Eeew, and I sat down on them!
18. One Smart Cookie | October 15th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
You can pry my Philosophy and Smashbox out of my cold dead hands.
And jen, I share your hug/cheek kiss issues. A hug I can maybe manage, as long as the expectations are not too high. But the cheek kiss confounds me. I especially hate when you can’t TELL if someone is going for the cheek kiss, and then you’re not sure, and then you kind of turn away and they look at you like you have some kind of freaky boundary issues, all, ‘it was just a cheek kiss, prude!’
19. Jennifer | October 15th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
In a similar vein (I think) to the fruit for lunch, I must also warn you away from too many bran muffins for breakfast. Oh ouchy before noon.
20. Josh | October 15th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Ok look, anyone who eats that much fruit has it coming to begin with. My suggestion is switch over to a meat based diet. Along with the basic advantage of flavor, you also can eat as much meat as you want without disrupting your digestive system. Plus eating meat fills your with growth hormones that you will need when fighting the future race war or whatever. I’m sure they will come in handy. And on top of all that your bosses will probably trust you more and possibly give you a raise. Because if you see someone stuffing thier face all day, and nothing but fruit passes their lips, they are probably up to evil plottery. Not that fruit lovers are completely evil, don’t take it personal.
21. Trina | October 16th, 2007 at 6:49 am
Paula’s Choice Skin Balancing Moisture Gel. Let’s see if I can get the link to post:
http://shop.paulaschoice.com/product/234/10
I have crazy oily skin, and this stuff is fabulous! Plus it’s fragrance-free which is always a plus for me. Thanks for the Superdefense rec! I’ve tried a bajillion moisturizers with sunscreen and hated them all.
And on the subject of animal farts, our cat Garlic uses them as a defense mechanism. If Chris or I have to grab her to give her medicine or test her blood sugar and she’s not in the mood, she will fart SO very definitely on purpose, and it is godawful.
22. Jen | October 16th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Here’s the best tip for oily skin, and you won’t even believe it:
Load a cotton ball up with good old Milk of Magnesia. Swipe a thin layer of it over your oily areas before putting on your makeup. Let it dry completely, then rinse it off. Apply makeup as usual.
Now, I do realize that you may not have MOM on hand since you are eating entire cantelopes, but it is worth a purchase for your skin. I swear, this has changed the level of oil on my skin completely.
23. Jacquelyn | October 16th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
I LOVE HIGH FIVES. There’s even a picture of me and another bridesmaid high-fiving behind the bride’s back at a wedding. HOT.
24. jonniker | October 16th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
You all rock. Thank you.
Also, Schnozz: FROO FROO.
I KNOW. I can’t believe it either.
25. Ryane | October 26th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I am late to this post, but I can highly recommend Murad Skin Perfecting Lotion for Oily Skin. Great night-time moisturizer, completely oil free, plus it has herbs in to help your skin regulate oil production. =-)
26. Discount Cosmetics&hellip | November 15th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Discount Cosmetics
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting
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