Dreams in the Hollow
November 12th, 2007
The Starburst are all gone. I’ve eaten them all — every last one of them, and instead of being sad that the binge is over, I am ridiculously relieved, as are my thighs. Mostly, though, I’m shocked at the amount I consumed.
My coworkers were singing “Benny & The Jets” all day, and while I can handle some Elton John, I cannot abide Benny & The Jets for more than three seconds without wanting to throw myself out the window to escape the never ending “BENNY! BENNY! BENNAYHEY! AND THE JEEEETS” Taunting, one of my coworkers would surreptitiously whisper a falsetto “BENNY!” every time I sauntered back to my desk from the bathroom.
Even now, as I sit here, I’ve breathlessly uttered, “BENNAY!” to Adam at least four times.
Anyway, this spurred a discussion about music, and it reminded me that I have a friend who doesn’t really listen to music unless it’s on the radio and can conveniently serve as background noise. Does. Not. Listen. To. Music. I can understand a lot of things, including political and religious beliefs that differ wildly from my own, but this, oh THIS, it never fails to leave me speechless, thinking about a life without music as some sort of daily influence, if not a sort of hobby.
(BENNAY!)
There are people like this, I know — I married one, surprisingly, really, I did — but it never ceases to leave me a little flabbergasted. I’ve written about this before, so I won’t rehash the whole thing, but I’ll say that when she told me that music wasn’t really her thing, and that she only listened to the radio, I stared at her open-mouthed until she stammered, “BOB! I listen to BOB! Do you know Bob?”
Oh, I know Bob. Do YOU know Bob? For those who don’t know Bob, he’s a freaky little brand of radio stations throughout the U.S. and Canada, and it’s just … well, it’s creepy, the whole thing is creepy, and is along the vein of Jack FM, wherein a faceless, voiceless creature named Bob, Jack, whatever, spins your favorite adult contemporary tunes from the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s and today! with little fanfare, and get this: there are no live DJs. Not one! Not one live human voice that hasn’t been pre-recorded and produced into submission the ENTIRE TIME you’re listening. And worse, a voiceover occasionally shares that Bob finds himself in awkward predicaments, like trying to change his oil and getting his pants caught in the whirring car fan so hey, we need to break for commercial, because Bob is having an issue! — and it’s just … well, it’s flat-out disconcerting, is what it is. Because there is no Bob. I’m on to you, Bob FM!
(B-b-b-Benny and the JETSSSS…)
Forgetting Bob for a moment, let me bring it back one more time to the mystery of music, and how is it — HOW? — that there are people, including my husband, who don’t have their days made or broken by the right song? The right/wrong song on a day that I have PMS can send me into such a tearful fit that I’d be smart to pull the car over, lest I mow someone down, my eyes obstructed with irrational music-induced tears.
(“I Grieve” is a particularly bad one, because all I can think about is death! Destruction! Flies, rats, dogs and cats! THERE IS NOTHING LIFE-AFFIRMING HERE, PETER. STOP TRYING.)
Conversely, the happiest of tunes can turn my entire day around or, in the case of freaking Benny, make me positively nuts, and maybe clawing off my skin so that someone — ANYONE — will commit me to a mental institution so that I can get rid of this godforsaken earworm.
And it breaks my heart a whole lot more than a little that there are people who miss out on that experience, for it’s the closest thing I’ve ever found to magic, and to get a little piece of it every day is one of the thousands of things that are worth getting — nay, JUMPING — out of bed for. Unless it’s Benny & the Jets, in which case it’s entirely possible I would eschew music altogether and get my jollies from painting or something, because …
BENNAY! BENNAY! BENNNNNAAAY!
IT WILL NOT STOP.
(Also, dude, they’re going to condense an entire season of Heroes in three episodes? Really? They are? And worse, the writer’s strike comes at a time when what they’re fighting for is claimed to be not yet real, and that means a greater impasse — do you really think the networks have any idea how to make any money on the Web? What a mess. As a person who’s worked in the media, I can tell you that what the studios are saying is somewhat true: the revenue derived from new media is kind of all over the place and relatively experimental and requires an entire overhaul of the entire *business* to work properly, which basically means that … well, I don’t know what it means, but it’s horrible for everyone involved. Two people I know tangentially in the TV writing business have all but confirmed that they’re fighting for … what is basically vapor at the moment, and they expect it to go on for six months or more with no real resolution, leaving us with an endless stream of “Are You Smarter Than My Dead Grandmother?”)
(BENNAY!)
*Jesca Hoop. Sundry describes her best here, and she’s all that and then some. I discovered Hoop off of a tip from a friend and after surfing iTunes for Feist because of that damn Apple commercial because again, I am a sheep. And although iTunes interface kind of blows, I’ll say that the “Listeners Also Bought” feature has really helped me find some fancy new artists, but even if it didn’t before, it would be entirely worth it for Hoop alone. She’s that good, and “Dreams in the Hollow” is a magical, magical song that evokes a swirly sea of velvety purple. Yes, velvety purple, maybe mixed with some green.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
29 Comments Add your own
1. Mauigirl52 | November 12th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
OMG, Benny and the Jets! Aaack. It’s going to go through my head all night. My senior year in college a girl on my floor in the dorm played that song constantly! I can hear it in my head right now. Arrggh.
We had Jack FM for a mercifully short time here – our oldies station, CBS 101.1 converted their format to Jack a couple of years ago. There were so many complaints and pleas for them to bring back the oldies that – surprise – they actually did! I hated Jack. Give me a real DJ anytime! And the music was insipid.
2. -R- | November 12th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Although music can really affect me, I don’t listen to music every day. I am just not that into it. And I do listen to Jack FM sometimes.
3. leenie | November 12th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
oh, jesca hoop. that shit is addictive.
i grew up in a non-music home, and blech. now it does– it makes or breaks every day. usually, 90% of the time- makes.
4. bubandpie | November 13th, 2007 at 5:19 am
I’m one of those people. I listen to Bob in the car, but at home the only music I ever put on is either (a) Christmas music, or (b) kids’ music, or (c) kids’ Christmas music. In my city, though, Bob still has DJs. The best of the 80s, 90s and WHATEVER! – but at least there are real DJs.
My MOM keeps exclaiming in dismay about how much I’ve changed and how old I’ve become, with this sudden inexplicable preference for silence. It was the birth of my second child that did it – after the first one I still popped in a CD from time to time, but the second baby tipped me over the edge. Now I’m all about the silence.
5. Sadie | November 13th, 2007 at 6:27 am
I was on the Cape this summer and discovered one of these stations you speak of, only it was called Frank. And frankly (heh) it wasn’t that bad.
I know a few people like you describe – people for whom music is just background noise, and they like whatever is popular & catchy on the radio and then move along. Truthfully, I judge these people harshly.
6. Lawyerish | November 13th, 2007 at 7:08 am
No. NOOOOOOOOOO. I HATE “Benny and the Jets” and now it is STUCK IN MY HEAD. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(BENNNAAAY!)
UUUUUGH.
7. Danielle | November 13th, 2007 at 7:24 am
I kind of hate you now, for getting that damn song in my damn head.
We have MikeFM here in Boston. Actually, it’s playing on the radio at my desk right now, as it is the only station I can get in this godforsaken building.
Here, here’s the song that’s on right now, and then maybe I can get it stuck in YOUR head:
3 words: More. Than, Words.
Ahh, INXS.
8. Lori | November 13th, 2007 at 7:24 am
Our “Bob” has an afternoon guy who gives weather and traffic reports. “Bob” also goes back to the 60′s, so you can hear Bob Dylan and then jump to Gwen Stefani in a matter of minutes. Very strange. “Bob” is usually the last resort..
My mom is anti-music. It’s all noise to her. Thankfully, I shared music with my dad. I can’t imagine a music-free existence!
9. Andrea | November 13th, 2007 at 8:23 am
I have only a passing interest in music. I just don’t have the time I used to have to devote to the search and purchase functions of keeping up with music. That and my tastes don’t tend to run to the trendy, so I get a little quiet when the subject of music comes up because people seem to look at me strangely when I really open up about what I like.
Although iTunes has really made it easier for me to find new music because it’s so simple and easy and quick, but I have to watch it, because 99 cents can add up quick with a bunch of mouse clicks.
10. jonniker | November 13th, 2007 at 8:31 am
Andrea, nah, trendy is unnecessary. Some of my favorites are about as uncool as it could possibly get. For example, as I’ve mentioned, I can be moved by ah, Celine Dion and maybe some Anne Murray and Night on Bald Mountain gets me EVERY TIME.
11. Jen W. | November 13th, 2007 at 9:31 am
I will never get that song out of me head. Thanks a lot. I shall go spread the Bennay joy to my co-workers now.
12. She Likes Purple | November 13th, 2007 at 10:17 am
You like Rocketman, though, right? That’s my favorite Elton song. It even played at my wedding. (Our reception REQUIRED the open bar just so people could handle the playlist I created.)
I’ve been listening to Lincoln Avenue by Train lately. It’s one of the best songs I’ve ever heard (and I love Train and am totally fine with that) and I listened to it on the way home last night and cried right there in the car (well, I was also sitting in traffic FOR AN HOUR, so the actual cause of the tears is unknown) because that’s what I think so many people do when they’re broken hearted, they pretend they’re okay, they PRETEND until they no longer are pretending. And that song just nails it. And I’m happily married but I still listen to it and remember when I wasn’t and wow.
And it saddens me too, that some people will never know what it feels like to be ROCKED by a particular song.
But, seriously, Rocketman is awesome, right?
13. babs | November 13th, 2007 at 11:08 am
wow, I loved this! It blows my mind that anyone could be anti-music. One of the highlights of my day is catching a song on the all-request flashback lunch… one of those gems that you used to love, but totally forgot about it.
Have you heard of Pandora.com? It reminds me of that feature on iTunes. You can create your own “station” of bands that sound like someone you already like.
14. Kristin H | November 13th, 2007 at 11:09 am
I remember the first time I learned that not everyone wakes up with a song in their head. Wha? and Huh? How can that be? It seems it would be a sad existence indeed, though maybe like being born blind, you never know what you’re missing. (I hope this doesn’t somehow piss off blind people.)
15. Anh | November 13th, 2007 at 11:36 am
I have been trying to get my music “collection” beyond “Best of the 80′s” cd set and classical music CD set since high school but get no where so far. Any my Ipod have 15 songs – mostly oldie. I subscribe to Rhapsody just to learn more about contemporary artists. Turn out I am not missing much.
I can appreciate a good songs when I hear them but i never became a fan of an artist.
We used to have Jack’s FM. OK but I missed the illusion of a live person on the other end. That last about a year, then they brought back the old DJ format.
16. Orange Peacock | November 13th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
I NEVER understand non-musical people. And I’ve been dating one for over three years. Go figure. And when he DOES get into a song once a blue moon, it’s such bizarre stuff – like, a video game theme, or a Broadway song, or freakin’ EMINEM.
I really just don’t get how other people aren’t so absorbed in music as I am. And it’s not like I’m a musician or anything – I can’t sing to save my life and put down the clarinet when I hit college. It’s just that I kind of always figured that music was a sort of universal language. I reckon not. But it’s not like I go around saying “you know, I’m just not really into COLOR. I could care less.” I…I just don’t get non-music people.
On that note, don’t go insane and get locked up because of the Bob. I’ve been locked up – they play that crap there, too!
And finally! Things I have recently listened to that you may like (or may hate): Brandi Carlile, Sara Bareilles, A Fine Frenzy, Sea Wolf, Bat for Lashes, and Band of Horses. Yes, I have exceptionally mellow taste. Someone accused me of being mainstream indie, which just sort of shortcircuited my brain…but if you like Jesca Hoop and Feist and all those other things you’ve mentioned (har), you might like the above. Also, she’s been out for awhile, but Laura Veirs is nifty, too.
17. H | November 13th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Is this Bob you speak of related to the crazy puppet commercial that is on CONSTANTLY around here these days? “Turn your knob, turn your knob, turn your knob to Bob!” Is that TV commercial on anywhere else in the country or just here in the upper midwest? I don’t listen to this station but the commercial is absolutely driving me bananas. I hate it with all my heart and soul and would never, ever turn my knob to Bob.
18. jonniker | November 13th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Jennie: I do like Rocket Man. I also like — no, LOVE — Tiny Dancer, which we wanted to play a prominent role in our wedding, save for the “Jesus freaks” line, which seemed incongruous for our wedding.
I like Elton. Just no Crocodile Rock and HELL NO to the Benny and the Jets. And I also like Train, really I do. They have their moments.
babs: I couldn’t use Pandora! It was too much — for some reason, and I don’t know what that reason is, my particular taste did not translate well to a Pandora station. I think I said I liked a couple of Keane songs, and it decided that I LOVE PIANO OMG, and shoved Billy Joel (?) down my throat. It makes me sad, because EVERYONE I’ve talked to who’s used it other than me loves it.
OP: I like Brandi and A Fine Frenzy very much. As for people not liking music, to be honest, it mystifies me too, BUT, I know shit, and I mean JACK SHIT, about art, and most visual things bore me to tears. I am a written/spoken-word person, and I certainly have a bit of an aural fixation, but if it’s visual, I am bored to tears. And I know a lot of people think I’m ridiculous for that, but merely looking at something is grotesquely unappealing to me. I promise you, I could be in the middle of the greatest art museum in the world, and I will be off in the corner daydreaming, bored out of my skull.
I find myself failing to see any sort of nuance or interest in a visual design and constantly thinking, “Yes, but what does it DO?”
19. Lawyerish | November 13th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Ohhhh, we had “Tiny Dancer” played right when our guests were being seated for dinner at our wedding. We both LOVE that song, and we wanted it to be a part of our day, too.
I also love “Rocket Man.” I actually enjoy most Elton John, except that rancid “Benny and the Jets.” Why does that song exist? WHY?
20. Dana | November 13th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Oh gawd no not Benny and his Jets. Uhhh, now its in my head.
We’re a big music house. The ball and chain works in the industry for a living, instruments are always lying about the house, and Miss Hoops was playing just this morning. Love her organic sonic aesthetic.
21. Mauigirl52 | November 13th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
It’s interesting, my parents were schizophrenic about music. My father was very into playing records (as we had back then) of all different kinds, from classical to popular songs from their youth, and old standards. My father also played the piano every night and made his own music. My mother, very strangely, NEVER EVER listened to music (and still doesn’t). However, she can SING ALL THE WORDS to any song she ever heard when she was young. Every single verse. It’s like some kind of savante thing. I always ask her, why don’t you ever listen to music since you like it so much? She has no explanation; it wasn’t a habit she ever got into I guess. She leaves CNN or C-SPAN on all the time instead. Ugh.
22. Nancy | November 13th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
I had a totally sweet collection of 8-tracks with my hand-me-down first car (a smoking Lincoln — thanks, grandad!) and it was a sad, sad day for me when my Elton John track got somehow stuck on the Benny and the Jets song. Beennnny!
23. the new girl | November 13th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
‘What Sarah Said’ by Death Cab for Cutie makes me weeeeeeep and weeeeeep.
24. velocibadgergirl | November 15th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Great great great post!
I LOVE music. I lived and breathed it in college, and it still is such a huge part of my life. I could also do without hearing Beny and the Jets ever again as long as I live
25. TB | November 16th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Beyond that one iTunes song, Feist is very talented. I’m going to see her at a small venue in Columbus which is a great way to see any artist who loops. I saw Andrew Bird at the same place and it was phenomenal. Can’t wait to check out Jessica Hoop on your recommendation.
26. Suebob | November 16th, 2007 at 9:58 am
I am pretty non-music. Music pulls my brain so hard that I can’t listen to it and do anything else – read, work, work out (unless it is aerobics), whatever. When I DO listen to music, it is an intense experience, so I prefer a live concert-hall kind of thing where there is sitting and listening and nothing else. It’s not that I don’t like music. It is that it takes up a lot of space in my brain. I never listen to music radio and don’t usually buy music, though somehow I seem to have come by a couple hundred CDs, most of which I listen to about once every 5 years, if that.
27. MsPrufrock | November 20th, 2007 at 4:47 am
We have a Bob station where I’m from originally, and its tagline was (is?) “Turn your knob to Bob”, which, to this UK resident and long time Anglophile, is positively hilarious.
I don’t get the non-music types either. Oh, the hush which descends upon my blog any time I bring up music. It makes me despair, as I cannot live without music channels, radio, internet radio, itunes, and my mp3 player. My mp3 player has been dying a slow and agonising death and at the outset of said demise I cried. No, really.
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