Waltz of the Dearly Beloved
January 6th, 2008
So, here’s a question: what did you do with your wedding dress, if you have one? I’m loathe to admit that mine is resting comfortably in our spare bedroom closet, barely shrouded in the plastic it came in and ah, I never had it dry cleaned, which means it is rendered useless and essentially ruined, given that I fell on my wedding day (surprise surprise) into something large and greasy — I can’t remember what. All I know is that somewhere, there is a black stain of something oily, and I was too lazy/did not care/totally not sentimental enough to do anything about it.
I bring this up because we were cleaning the closet out today, and realized we have to make a decision about it one way or another, and I’m sure as shit not moving that thing to another house. But throwing it away? Doesn’t that seem … wrong? I mean, I never harbored any illusions that I would foist it upon my daughter to wear on her wedding day, because although I’d like to think it was simple and classic (It was! It was Vera Wang, and I only mention it because while I am not a label whore by any means, I have always loved Vera Wang’s wedding dresses for their simplicity and BESIDES, I got it at a sample sale), what is simple and classic today may be the equivalent of the high-necked monstrosity that was popular in the early 1980s in a few short years. And besides the obvious fact that I may have a family of little boys, storing it for my daughter puts so much pressure on her — I remember how awful I felt when I didn’t wear my step-mother’s wedding … hat? Shoes? Jesus, I can’t even remember what it is I bailed on, besides her mother’s pearls that I forgot to put on after one too many bloody marys at 9 a.m.
And lo, hey, look! Turns out I have a photo of said dress with my mom, which honestly, I didn’t think I had. And ah, memories are all we’ll have of this dress, I’m afraid. God, was my make-up ghostly, or what? I’m pretty sure she was whispering something snarky and inappropriate about my photographer who was competent, but a bit of a douchebag.
Almost five years ago! I can hardly believe it, truly.
Anyway, on to the weekend recap! Are you ready? It can be summed up in two words:
Sloth.
Vacuum.
Hooray! Honestly, we are among the laziest couples in existence, and nothing pleases me more than a weekend spent indoors working on domestic projects and maybe some crafting, if I were the crafty sort. Except it wasn’t all fun and games — I did vacuum after all, and though I’ve been told that canister vacuum cleaners are the work of the devil and that bags aren’t obsolete, I maintain that there is nothing more satisfying than emptying out a full canister of pet hair into the garbage. In fact, it makes the top three list of things that are unexpectedly satisfying, which includes popping zits (shut up, it is SO SATISFYING), power washing mold off of the driveway and now, vacuuming until the canister nearly bursts. I’m sure I’ll add more riveting activities if I think about it hard enough.
Ahem.
Happy Monday. I’m mostly dreading the work week because it promises to be miserably busy, as last week was.
*Emily Wells. Also known as The Artist Who Led Me To Jesca Hoop.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
41 Comments Add your own
1. Andrea | January 6th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
I can totally see your mom saying something funny and maybe a bit sarcastic in that picture! What a hoot! You look beautiful in the dress! (!!! Just threw those in for good measure, in case I didn’t get them across. !) I’m sad to say ~ though not really because if I really were sad about it, I’d have a.) not done it, or b.) done something about it between then and now ~ that I too did not clean the grime off my wedding dress. It’s hanging in my son’s closet in the bag it came in, blackened hem and all, and I am only glad to have saved the money on the robbery they charge to have a wedding dress cleaned, pressed, and preserved. Besides, they say you’re not supposed to open a preserved wedding dress or the preservation will be ruined, but then they tell you to make sure you received your dress back instead of just a swatch of material that looks like a dress and the crooked cleaners have hocked your dress on eBay or something. How are you supposed to make sure you receive back your dress if you can’t open the box to make sure it’s your dress or the preservation you paid for is ruined? So I didn’t bother.
2. Haley-O | January 6th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
funny — I just saw a whole thing on women TRASHING their wedding dresses after their weddings. I SO want to do it. Problem is, I won’t fit into mine…no way after 2 kids!!
3. Miss Cee | January 6th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Er, my wedding dress is also hanging up, un-drycleaned, stains and all. I couldn’t make up my mind what to do with it, but decided that having it dry cleaned and preserved would be a waste of a dress that I really loved. So I decided to have it dyed, and have some of the boofyness taken out of the skirt, so that I could wear it again as a formal evening dress. (I don’t go to that many formale events, but I figure I’m more likely to wear a formal dress again than I am a wedding dress). Well, that’s what I decided,,, and then of course, I did nothing about it. So I really need to find out where I can have it dyed and altered, and how much that’s going to cost and so on. And this entry has prompted me to get the hell around to doing that
4. Beth | January 6th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
You know what I hate about canister vacuums? One of my favorite parts of the year is vacuuming after Christmas when you haven’t changed the bag yet and it makes your house smell all piney again. Just doesn’t last as long when you have that canister thing to just dump.
5. She Likes Purple | January 6th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Same for me (with my work week). I’m dreading this Monday as I haven’t dreaded one in ages.
And you look just GORGEOUS in that picture. Stunning…truly. My wedding dress is in my closet with NO plastic sheath thing (so bad am I). And I have dirt all along the bottom and cupcake all along the back (our cake exchange got a bit out of control). I don’t know what to do with mine either.
6. TwoBusy | January 6th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Ah, rented tuxedo. Two days after the wedding, one of my groomsmen returned you to the shop… and I never thought about you again.
(Great photo, btw)
7. Suebob | January 6th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Love the photo. The makeup is a bit ghostly, considering that you have the shoulders of a So Cal surfer girl, but you were a lovely bride.
Wedding dress…write it off. It was a good day, great day, and now it is over. Who needs a grimy or not grimy dress to preserve the memory? Though you did/do have excellent taste.
It was official lazy weekend. I did basically nothing. Went out on a story where the participants failed to show up. Stood in the rain for 30 minutes. They called 2 hours later and said there had been a scheduling problem (this after I talked to them LAST NIGHT – “So I’ll see you at 10?” “Yes, 10.” Today it was “Oh NO We meant noon!” TOO LATE SUCKA – I was home in my sweat pants and slippers at noon and there was NO WAY I was heading out to do their damn story by then. Journalism, I swear.
8. H | January 6th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
You look beautiful.
I have one of those dated mid-80′s wedding dresses — preserved and on a shelf in a bright blue box. I have no idea what will become of it. I’ve heard some women have theirs made into baptism gowns for their children, but I didn’t hear about that until well after mine were baptized. Otherwise, I have no advice for you. My daughter is tall and thin (with beautiful long legs) like my husband and I am short and have always been borderline stocky, so she wouldn’t wear it even it was a Vera Wang gown.
Also – Mondays suck.
9. whoorl | January 6th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Oh! I love that photo!
10. -R- | January 6th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
I also have no idea what to do with my dress. I have kept it only because I would feel bad throwing it away. And it is also uncleaned from my wedding two years ago.
We went furniture shopping on Saturday and bought something solely for the sake of using gift cards we got for Christmas in 2006. (In case you wanted my weekend recap.)
11. maya | January 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
7.5 years and I’ve moved mine from a thin plastic sheath to a clean, tissue-filled shoebox (I know, SHOE-ho alert!) and taped shut. It was a pretty simple spaghetti strap dress and i had the train cut off as part of the beach-proofing process, so just the edge is dirty, really. I don’t worry about it, really.
12. Assertagirl | January 7th, 2008 at 5:07 am
What a coincidence, I also bought my dress at a sample sale and it is currently hanging in a plastic dress cover thingy in our spare room closet, unwashed since our wedding day a year and a half ago. Although I did not fall, there are a couple of muddy footprints on my dress…perils of an ourdoor wedding.
13. Swistle | January 7th, 2008 at 6:28 am
I read something VERY HELPFUL once, about how if you have PHOTOS of you in a special outfit, you don’t need to keep the actual special outfit itself.
My wedding dress from my first wedding was a WEDDING DRESS. I tossed it. My wedding dress from my second wedding was a regular dress, so I’ve kept it and worn it to other people’s weddings (it’s not white or anything–it’s a dark green floral).
14. Beth | January 7th, 2008 at 6:32 am
A woman I know who is a wiz with a sewing machine cut apart her daughter’s wedding dress and turned it into her granddaughter’s christening dress. I thought that was brilliant!
15. Tessie | January 7th, 2008 at 7:35 am
Count me amongst the slackers with a disgusting dirty wedding dress shoved way back in the closet. I don’t know what to do either. I feel weird even DONATING it since there is very little market for dresses made for people who are under 5 feet tall. I feel like I should cut off a strip of it or something and save it, or maybe make a dirty wedding dress rag doll?
I’m thinking either way it won’t survive another move.
16. Nilsa S. | January 7th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Beautiful dress. Beautiful ladies. Great picture! Definitely worth sharing!!!
My fiance, his parents and I just had this conversation last night. What to do with the wedding dress. His mom (and mine) kept hers. Preserved. In a closet.
I’m not a clothes whore. Nor a pack rat. Though I dread giving up something so sentimental. I can’t see keeping it. Unless I make it into something else.
Word on the street is some couples choose to transform the wedding dress into a baptismal gown. If that’s your thing.
17. rachel | January 7th, 2008 at 8:16 am
hey — I’ll come out and take photos of you doing fabulous things in it!!! or you can send it to me to have someone else do fabulous things in it!!! if you click on my website, check out the “beach bridals” and the “motorcycle bridals” links on the right hand column….
anyone who wants to donate a dress or themselves in the dress to the cause should email me!! rachel@mergeweddings.com
18. rachel | January 7th, 2008 at 8:17 am
the website to check out links is
http://decenturbanlifestyle.blogspot.com
19. Kathryn | January 7th, 2008 at 9:13 am
I am one of the few women who can say that I’ve actually worn my wedding dress since the wedding. Wore it to work, in fact. Of course, I got married on the beach and wore a white sundress from J.Crew, so that isn’t as bizarre as it sounds. I just threw a cardigan over it and no one realized it was anything but a normal sundress.
20. jonniker | January 7th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Suebob: HAAA. I know! I was unnaturally tan, and though my skin is naturally medium olive-ish, I um, went tanning before my wedding. I’m not proud of it, but I was mostly terrified of burning to a dark crisp when I went on my Caribbean honeymoon.
Also random tip for anyone who lives anywhere near Boston, though most local brides already know: I bought mine at Vows in Newton. They gather samples from all over creation and have some gorgeous, gorgeous dresses on the (relatively) cheap, at least compared to retail. I realize that $1200 isn’t cheap, but considering the first dress I fell hard for was a $6,000 Priscilla of Boston stunner, I felt like I was getting the deal of a lifetime. Aaand that deal of a lifetime is now resting uncleaned in a closet.
I kind of wish I’d just gone to David’s Bridal. No one would have known.
Also, does anyone know wtf “preserved” actually means? Do they salt it and freeze-dry it or what?
21. Kristin H | January 7th, 2008 at 11:04 am
It was fun to put mine on with veil and show it to my daughter. Then again, it seems to have only fueled her obsession with all things princess/wedding, so maybe that wasn’t such a great idea.
Our conversation last night:
S: I want to watch the part where Ariel gets married! Because she’s so pretty!
Hubby: Yep, marriage is great!
Me: Yes, it’s great but it’s not the ONLY thing, and not everyone gets married. And being pretty is nice, but you also need to be beautiful on the inside. Right, husband? Right? Help me out here, hon.
sigh.
22. Kate | January 7th, 2008 at 11:17 am
(delurking, ’cause I really wanted to respond to this one)
Your dress is beautiful, by the way.
My dress was a full on wedding dress with a fairly long train even though we got married on the beach. I did get it cleaned after the wedding, but not preserved. It lives in a rumpled heap wrapped in a sheet in a cedar chest.
But! The husband and I have a fairly large Halloween party every year, and it has become tradition that I, after numerous adult beverages, change out of my costume (this past year I was an ostrich) and into the wedding dress. This year I invited others to bring their dresses, be they were all party poopers and no body else played.
Anyway, I’m all for any excuse to put on my big poofy dress again. My daughter is welcome to use it for dress up when she gets old enough to get into that. Though I can’t imagagine how a three-year-old would manage that giant skirt and train.
23. Chellebird | January 7th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
My favorite family story is about the time my older sister, then a kindergartener, came home to find my mom sitting on the couch in her wedding dress. My mom just felt like trying it on again after ten years. The next day, my sister went back to school and told the teacher, “I went home yesterday, and my mom was a bride” in a hushed, reverent tone. Hilarious.
So yeah, every once in a while, my mom would pull down her dress and one of us (three girls) would try it on. We all were too tall and busty for it my high school, but I remember it fondly.
24. Sarah | January 7th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
You could think about donating it to Brides Against Breast Cancer. They travel the country selling dresses that have been donated by manufacturers/retailers/individuals, and the proceeds go to help fight breast cancer. It’s where I bought my dress from, and likely where I’ll donate it back to someday. I’m (hopefully) going to be way too short for any of my potential daughters to wear it.
25. claire | January 7th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Ah yes, mine too rests in the spare room closet, not even shrouded in plastic. I took my heels off at the reception so the back hung behind me on the floor. Was it dry cleaned? No. My mother keeps offering to pay to have it cleaned and boxed but, alas, I keep forgetting.
26. slynnro | January 7th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Gorgeous dress. Mine currently lives on the floor of our office. It was, uh, expensive, so I can’t really toss it. I never cleaned it, but it doesn’t have any stains so I’m thinking with a good clean, I could resell for serious cash. But mentally, I’m not ready for that. I’ve only been married for a year.
27. Mauigirl52 | January 7th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I like Miss Cee’s idea of dyeing it and making it into a formal dress. It’s a simple style so it would totally work!
I had mine preserved carefully after the wedding for the non-existent daughters I didn’t have. It is in the attic and may have been eaten by raccoons when we had our unfortunate infestation a few winters ago. However, if it wasn’t, I would offer it to my friend’s daughter, who we always say is really my daughter as we have so much in common. However, the thing we don’t have in common is our height. I’m 5′ tall and she, at age 12, is a head taller than I am. So I doubt it would fit her unless she wanted a “tea length” gown!
28. Danell | January 7th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Mine’s in a box in the attic…cake stains, wine stains, dirt stains, grease stains and all…I’m not sure where the grease stains came from.
29. amber | January 7th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Oh GOSH, you were gorgeous in that dress! And PS, you look nothing like I thought you would, although that’s not to say I didn’t think you’d be gorgeous…I just sort of pictured you differently. Wow on the dress, and I love Vera Wang (and am a total label whore) and I’d wear it in a heartbeat if I was your daughter!
Happy Monday to you, too.
30. Kirsten | January 8th, 2008 at 1:00 am
SOMEWHERE, there are people that give you the opportunity to take some wild and wacky pics in your wedding dress… like diving into mud puddles or rolling in the grass or some such crazy thing. I can’t for the life of me, however, remember where I initially saw that idea.
31. Krissy | January 8th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
That is a gorgeous dress! You looked great!
32. Maggy | January 9th, 2008 at 6:39 am
My dress is “preserved,” meaning dry cleaned and put in a box. I told my mom just to have it cleaned and I could put it in a box and put duct tape around the edges all by myself, but she wanted to be helpful. It now sits on the top of shelf of my two year old’s closet, right under the sombrero. I had visions of making a new pannier and back for it and wearing it to Renaissance faires (It looks a little bit historical.), but unboxing it requires sending it to the people who boxed it, otherwise they won’t guarantee their cleaning of it. ( I hope that last sentence made sense. I’m coming off the night shift.)
33. amber | January 17th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
why are you under david muir’s refereces
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