Celebrity Skin
January 22nd, 2008
Thing the First:
Oh HO, Juno was nominated for Best Picture, which confirms that I have shit for taste in movies, though I’ve gotta tell you, even if I LOVED it, it sort of pisses me off that it was nominated, if only for the ghosts of indieish films’ past that never had a chance. I mean, lovely and adorable as Juno was (forget my grandma reaction for a second), where was the academy for The Royal Tenenbaums? Thumbsucker?
Ah, Diablo Cody. Your journo-stripper buzz carried you right through to the Oscars! (Uh, not that there’s anything wrong with that! Wow, I really am coming off as a psycho right-wing Conservative in wing tips, aren’t I?)
Thing the Second:
I don’t know why I always get so upset when celebrities die young. I mean, people die young every DAY, and there’s really no reason to care about some more than others because they were in Brokeback Mountain. And yet … I remember being devastated for DAYS when Aaliyah died, even though I swear to God, I couldn’t tell you a single song she sang before the whole thing went down (ah, literally and figuratively). John Ritter was a crushing, embarrassing blow to the point where you’d think I knew him personally. I mean, no one wants to make light of death, but I hope it’s not inappropriate to make fun of myself here, because I can be a little ridiculous about it. And though I totally know you know where I’m going with this and it’s SO PAT at this point, dude, Heath Ledger! THE HELL. I’m seeing an entire River Phoenix-like montage on every evening show for days and days.
Ah, drugs. Such a bad idea. And though this may warrant a Thing The Third title, as I don’t think our fine Aussie was on heroin, do you ever wonder, who in the Sam Hill tries heroin? I mean, there are PLENTY of drugs out there to get you high, really there are and though I don’t advocate any of them, heroin and crack continue to mystify me, because it seems as though you’re signing up for a sad death, very likely in a cardboard box. Ergo, I ask you: who sees heroin and thinks, wow, I should totally try that! What an AWESOME idea and a fun high!
Thing The Third:
After Swistle‘s post on the topic, I was unable to resist and picked up US Weekly for the bajillionth time, against my better judgment. And really, Trista, REALLY. Of all Things Celebrity that I am over, losing baby weight has to be at the top of the list, because first of all, I don’t believe that they’re all breastfeeding, sorry I don’t. I actually think that they SAY they are so that they avoid the Ire of La Leche, and while I can’t say that I blame them, what irks me more is that they leave people with the false impression that breastfeeding WHIPS off the pounds as good as four hours of cardio per day. And while dude, I think it helps, COME ON. And Trista, please, go eat a taco and put away the abs. Also, you’re not a celebrity.
Thing the Fourth:
My eyes are puffy and I’m carrying approximately 11 extra pounds of water weight. And while certainly part of it is period-related (sorry), I am more than a little certain that it can be directly traced back to the four, count ‘em, FOUR, pounds of Smitten Kitchen’s pickled carrots I’ve made and consumed over the course of the last half-week or so. And if you haven’t made them yet, you’re missing out.
Happy Wednesday!
**Hole
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
24 Comments Add your own
1. Mary O | January 22nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
You crack me about about Trista. She is SO not a celebrity.
2. erica | January 22nd, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Breastfeeding helps, but it does NOT cause one to just drop weight without any effort. At least not for me. My mom said she had to stop breastfeeding me at 4 months because she got so skinny from all of my eating that she simply had to stop. So maybe for some people it does work miracles, but I think for most it helps a little. And diet and exercise does the rest.
3. Swistle | January 22nd, 2008 at 7:17 pm
I JUST heard about Heath Ledger MOMENTS before seeing this post. I have the same reaction.
I’m not sure the Trista situation can be fully appreciated without reading the “part one” article of which this was “part two.” In part one, where she was starting her diet a couple of months (?) ago, she praised Ryan for how he told her she was hot even though she was a size 4—but that she wanted to lose the weight so that he wouldn’t have to just SAY that anymore, but really mean it.
4. whoorl | January 22nd, 2008 at 8:18 pm
I can’t get past Trista’s stubby man hands. They are truly nightmarish.
5. Dawn | January 23rd, 2008 at 3:07 am
The Heath Ledger thing has me very bummed too. I feel a weeklong “what is WRONG with me” coming on.
Trista – at least she didn’t pull out the tried and true celebrity lie – “I keep skinny due to all the chasing after my baby!” Liar liar pants on fire. At least Trista sort of admitted she diets and exercises.
On an unrelated note, I don’t find her husband attractive at all.
6. Beth | January 23rd, 2008 at 3:14 am
On the Heath Ledger thing — This hits me in a couple of ways. One: What a tragic waste of talent and youth. He had a wonderful career ahead of him, and his daughter is only two years old. Now she won’t have her daddy, which is the saddest thing about all this. Two: It is scarily easy to overdose on some sleep medications if one takes them over an extended period of time or under certain conditions. Some sleep meds are addictive in that the body requires higher doses over time to acheive the desired effect. For an actor (or anyone) who travels in and out of various time zones and needs to, like, SLEEP, the use of sleep meds can easily become excessive and an accident (I do believe HL’s death was an accident) like this can easily happen. I have prescription sleep meds, but I try to use them only occasionally (and I’m not traveling, so my situation is totally different) so that I don’t build up a tolerance to them. Also, some people don’t realize how combining some meds, like sleep meds and allergy/cold meds, can restrict respiration and possibly cause death. Very scary. I’m so, so sorry for HL’s family, ex and daughter.
7. Katie | January 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 am
The Royal Tenenbaums is one of my all-time faves! I liked Juno, but puh-lease! It’s not in the same league as RT. It’s really not Oscar worthy, just a cute little movie.
8. Allison | January 23rd, 2008 at 5:30 am
I absolutely loathe Trista Sutter. As someone mentioned above, you really need to read Part 1 of the article to fully appreciate her idiocy. She is not a celebrity. Her husband is a tool. Those boobs are not from breastfeeding. I also hated how Ryan said that she can be more active now and not have to stop and rest all the time while they are hiking or whatever it is they do. UGH.
9. bethany actually | January 23rd, 2008 at 5:47 am
I have still not seen Juno, but I love The Royal Tenenbaums.
10. Sadie | January 23rd, 2008 at 6:40 am
Normally I do not care about celebrities dying because I think most of them are trainwrecks, but Heath Ledger was genuinely talented and also seemed like a fairly normal person and a devoted dad, from what little I know (thanks to People Magazine and US Weekly, annnnnnd now I feel ashamed of myself). Plus he’s my age and so that’s a little eerie to contemplate.
Heroin – while not anything I’d ever choose to do, this is where the concept of “gateway drugs” actually has merit…I’ve known some fairly intelligent people who would use pot, or ecstasy, or blow lines recreationally, and once you’re already used to doing those and you’ve gotten over the OMG!1!DRUGS! fear/stigma that is rightly associated with them, it doesn’t seem so scary or asinine to try heroin. And a lot of people start by snorting/smoking it because that is a hell of a lot less intimidating and disgusting than using needles. But yeah, heroin = never a good idea.
11. H | January 23rd, 2008 at 6:46 am
Trista annoys the hell out of me. Back when she was on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette (and her wedding show), I absolutely could not STAND to hear her talk in her stupid baby voice. What was that about?
12. Lawyerish | January 23rd, 2008 at 7:33 am
I’m not sure I could hate anyone more than I hate Trista. Why does the media continue to give her attention? She needs to be smothered into obscurity so that we can all go about our lives unfettered by her idiocy.
13. -R- | January 23rd, 2008 at 8:20 am
Do you know what is more annoying to me than Trista? Women who planned their weddings to be just like hers. Scary.
14. metalia | January 23rd, 2008 at 8:55 am
I cannot STAND Trista. The only reality “celebrity” who irks me more than her is Flavor Flav. Although…if the two of them still have to appear on my TV? I think they should be on a reality show TOGETHER.
It’s really the only way to make a bad situation at least marginally palatable.
15. Jen | January 23rd, 2008 at 10:59 am
As soon as I saw that US Weekly cover, I shrieked, “How in the heck does she still warrant a COVER?” OK, I did not shriek, but I shuddered a little right there in the store. She and Ryan must be coughing up some big bucks for cover placement, or else someone at US Weekly (maybe that weird Ken guy who is always on VH1?) has himself a big ol’ Trista crush.
16. Leah | January 23rd, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Thank god US Weekly and the Oscars are not the end all be all of who/what’s important, eh? Every year I get up in arms about the nomiations before I remember that, oh yeah, they’re almost always “wrong” and it doesn’t really matter anyway.
As for the “who would try heroin” question, my boyfriend really wants to try it “just once” because he’s curious, because he’s curious about everything. I don’t think heroin is a real option for him, though, because (a) he’s smarter than that and (b) he tried a stage-2 nicotine patch a few weeks ago and it fucked him right up. Ha! People who try heroin probably don’t have those two things going for them.
17. Mymsie | January 23rd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I’m always going on about what a great movie Thumbsucker is, in fact my friend got me a copy for Christmas. GREAT soundtrack too!
18. winterwheat | January 23rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Re: thing the third. Couldn’t agree more. I’m so sick of inter-celebrity competitions to see who can get the weight off most quickly, and I cringe to think of the effects of this on normal women readers. I guarantee these celebrities are not breastfeeding, at least not after a few weeks or months, because with maybe one or two exceptions, every single breastfeeding woman I’ve known (myself included) kept on an extra 5-10 lbs. It dropped off almost instantly when we *stopped* BFing. Lactation produces a gigantic appetite. Really, if BFing could drain a woman’s body of all that fat in a few months, it would spell certain death for the infant involved. Oh, and Trista should know that if she hopes to maximize her chances of conceiving again, she needs more than 12% body fat for ovulation. *rolls eyes*
19. celebrate woo-woo | January 23rd, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s thought those thoughts about people who do heroine and crack, etc. I just don’t get it, but then again I like to be in control of myself, so I don’t really get the draw to drugs in general, and I’m smart enough (and guess I always have been) to realize I am not immune to their life-destroyingly addictive effects.
20. no name slob | January 24th, 2008 at 3:57 am
The hilarious Irish comedian Dylan Moran (he’s David in Shaun of the Dead, if you’ve seen that, which I hope you have, but prior to that role he’d made a big name for himself in the UK for his stand-up comedy) has a great quote about heroin –
“I have limited sympathy for people who get fucked up on heroin. You’d think that by now some of them would have heard something bad about it. ‘Oh yes, its very buzzy but it can give you a bit of a jippy tummy…’ ”
(Seriously, consider looking him up — this YouTube user has the DVDs posted in their entirety (something I assume is overlooked because the DVDs aren’t available coded for the US): http://youtube.com/user/Soreto)
21. amber | January 24th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Krista drives me insane! She isn’t a celebrity, but she thinks she is, and those are the worst kind. UGH. I saw that thing about her baby weight, and you know…that kind of thing makes me angry. If you’re losing weight quickly, good for you. But I read an article about Heidi Klum and how she was in the gym for four hours every day right after her second baby because she had to be in a VS fashion show in eight weeks. WHO was taking care of her baby? Wouldn’t people rather be considered good, doting mothers than rapid-weight-loss sex symbols? UGH. ANNOYING.
22. Dana | January 25th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
My gawd, yes, where was the love for The Royal Tenenbaums?
I could hug this whole entire post.
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