Unplayed Piano
February 10th, 2008
I’m going to warn you: the channel we’re tuned to around these parts is “All Moving, All the Time” and if that bores you (and I can’t say I blame you), might I direct you to the blogroll on the right? Start at the top and work your way down and let them entertain you! Or better yet, go make pickled carrots. That’s where I’m off to next, in fact. Batch number ten, it calls to me.
So … Lindsey took the house, so thank you all (I wish I were exaggerating when I tell you that I think it’s all your doing, for reals). I have a signed lease, a security deposit and various and sundry rental agreement items. Which means, oh holy shit, we’re actually out of here as early as Feb. 27. And we HAVE to be out of here March 1. OMFG, y’all. I’m signing MY lease tomorrow on the most delightful 19th century farmhouse on two acres within walking distance to the gleaming metropolis of downtown Small Town Vermont. With all eight people who live there or whatever. Also, “delightful” is entirely in the subjective eyes of my husband, as I haven’t set foot in it, nor have I, again, set foot in this particular area of Vermont. Am ballsy, I like to think, but I’m guessing the word for it is “stupid and blinded by love and a desire to leave Florida.”
It does have a sunroom, though, see?
Also, they’re leaving their piano for us, which excites and scares me, because I have this strange and extraordinarily unrealistic vision of trying to pick it up by myself and dropping it down the stairs, despite the fact that it’s on the first floor.
All of this is, by the way, in the words of our darling tenant, Lindsey, “a colon moment,” as she put it when she walked out the door realizing that between the three of us, a lot of shit has to be packed and moved and yes, we are sort of holding our bowels together, it’s true. There is so much to be done, I can hardly see straight, but lo, we’ve packed up two whole rooms and the laundry room! That’s something, right?
Lindsey, by the way, said something about us being Democrats and supporting Obama and when I said that yes, she was mostly right, she POINTED TO MY HAIR and said, “Well, I figured with that hair.”
I have Democratic hair, did you know that? I EXUDE Democrat from the neck up. It must be the pink streaks.
I … I want to do something for all of you. Like buy you all Segues or keep you in Bare Minerals for the rest of your lives, but I can’t afford to do that, so … is there anything you want that’s free or thoughtful in the “free” sort of way? Can I TELL you anything you’ve ever wanted to know? I mean, I promise to answer any question except for my last name and my exact address. Not that the former matters that much, but … well, whatever, Google, you know. And that is the lamest offer I’ve ever made, but I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO FOR YOU PEOPLE.
I love you and I would kiss you all on the lips if I ever met you. Does that help? Sadly, I’m not joking. I have nice lips, and I’m a good kisser. It should be something to look forward to.
Sunny, by the way, has been a big help with the move, if by “help” you mean following us around under our feet and barking angrily at the boxes, because they don’t BELONG there, and they weren’t there YESTERDAY and that box! It’s going to SWALLOW YOU WHOLE!
Also, hey, look, I’m sorry: I threw away my wedding dress. I’m not particularly proud of this, but my options are limited, given the less-than-17-day nature of this particular operation. I cut out a reasonable swath of it for posterity — and also to ensure that yep, ah, it’s completely ruined, sorry — and it’s currently sitting in our giant Waste Management receptacle, awaiting what will surely be the world’s largest garbage dump on Tuesday
And finally, I am on the hunt for a new gynecologist in Vermont and honestly … they all have accompanying photos and they all scare me. Their photos vary from the not-so-vaguely homicidal to Sam Shepherd in “Baby Boom” without the hot vet factor and I … I’m scared, really. I don’t know if I feel like sharing the vast idiosyncrasies of my wonky menstrual cycle with a guy who looks like he’s about one second away from doing that whole lust killing in Se7en. And I can’t really wait, so ah … pray for me.
I hope y’all have a wonderful Monday. I, for one, will kick off my day getting my car registered, because I got pulled over for a bum registration on Friday night and I’m lucky I didn’t get it impounded.
I should also tell you that I am now terrified of moose. There are MOOSE in Vermont, you know. I’ve never lived with moose before, and I’m scared they’re going to eat my pants in my sleep or I’ll hit them with my car.
Also, hey, a question: for those of you who have your own hosted URL, who do you use to host it? We’re currently hosting this on our own server, but are planning to get rid of it in favor of outsourcing it …
I’m tempted to close with “XXOO” because that’s kind of how I’m feeling about the Internet lately, but I’ll refrain. Sort of …
Happy Monday to you!
*Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
37 Comments Add your own
1. mischa's one | February 10th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
If it makes you feel better I once spent three months in Vermont and desperately wanted to spot a moose (we don’t have them in NZ) but didn’t see a single one.
2. Jess | February 10th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
I feel like the worst part of moving is messing up your medical relationships. I have finally wrangled myself an appointment (in a month) with this guy who’s supposedly the best endocrinologist in DC, and I am dying for it to happen, and if we moved, that would probably be the thing that I would be most distressed about. Screw leaving friends, work, etc. Good luck finding a new gyno.
Also, yay for Lindsey taking the place! And I am so jealous of your sunroom.
3. Suebob | February 10th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Remember Suebob’s rule about moving: the last 10% of stuff takes as long to pack as the other 90 percent. Sorry but that’s they way it is, because you inevitably save the odd-shaped, uncategorizable stuff til the very end, thinking you will find a way to deal with them, but you can’t, so there you are.
Vermont sounds and looks (from the photo anyway) impossibly cute. Of course you have democrat hair. For Republican hair see: Laura Bush. Republicans in general have much more organized hair. They must use hair spray. I have never used hair spray ever. Obviously I am a bleeding heart liberal who thinks Dennis Kucinich is a little too middle-of-the-road.
Heart you back.
4. leenie | February 10th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
sunroom: hooray! moose: eek!
i’ve been told i have vegetarian hair, which, whaa? of course, they’re right, i’m veggie, but how do they know that from my hair? does it look like it needs protein? like it misses bacon? does mildly wacky hair mean overly enthusiastic liberal? it seriously seriously freaks me out. i feel like it give me away.
happy colon moment!
5. Blythe | February 11th, 2008 at 12:10 am
After you find a gynecologist, you’re going to have to find a hairdresser. That’s almost as scary as the moose. But it will probably be easier to find a Democrat hairdresser in Vermont than in Florida, no?
Your new place looks fantastic. I want to curl up with a cup of tea in that armchair I see on the right.
6. MsPrufrock | February 11th, 2008 at 3:48 am
I can’t watch this channel anymore as I am getting immensely jealous. I see that sunroom and read about two acres in Vermont, then look around my piddly two bed flat in a cramped English city, and well…it makes me want to kick a cat. Not for real, lest any cat-lovers are concerned.
As for moose, have you ever seen one in person? They are HUGE, far bigger than I ever anticipated. I hope you never see one, as you will run away terrified. I’m a very re-assuring type, you see?
7. TwoBusy | February 11th, 2008 at 6:35 am
I spent several years living in Maine, and never once saw a live moose. I still feel like I was robbed on that front.
That being said, I hear that the woods near your new place are crawling with moose — the carnivorous and problem-solving kind (think raptors with antlers). But I’m sure you’ll have nothing to worry about.
8. amandampc | February 11th, 2008 at 6:54 am
Snow! New England! Lindsey! Mooses! Mooses? Nothing you can’t handle after dealing with them thar gators down the Everglades way…lying in wait at the bottoms of rentention ponds, scheming to snap up little furry four-legged adorable pets. And let’s not even get into the poisonous snake situation. Water mocassins – eewwww! You could handle a REGIMENT of moose after that, gal.
9. Christine | February 11th, 2008 at 6:56 am
I blame the streaks and impossible cuteness of your hair for that “democratic” factor. But what do I know? My hair currently needs a good trim.
And god, moving sucks. If we were neighbors I would volunteer the services of the boyfriend, but we are not. And man, good luck with the gyno. I have an upcoming first visit with a new doctor on the 20th. A day I also have a long awaited dentist appointment. I’m guessing the 20th shall be a grumpy, grumpy day.
10. Lauren | February 11th, 2008 at 7:07 am
I’ve been meaning to comment for a while to tell you that Vermont is lovely. I’ve spent a few weekends there here and there because the married siblings of our best friends in Boston live in Richmond, VT, which is just outside of Burlington (and yes, you read that correctly…his sister and her brother got married two years after they did…and yes, it was bizarre at first, especially when we attended both weddings and they were ummm, strangely the same.)
Okay but back to Vermont…Burlington is a fabulous city with good food, good shopping, and lots of culture. From where you mentioned you’ll be living, you’re only an hour away so that’s not too bad. Plus now you can take up snowshoeing!! A lot of Vermonters enjoy this activity, including our friends in Richmond.
Oh oh oh and you can buy Ben & Jerry’s “factory seconds” for WAAAAY cheap…these are the tubs of ice cream that don’t have the exact right amount of mix-ins, either too much or too litte. All the little local general stores in the area sell them. Its an adventure! And the tour of the factory is definitely a “must,” not to mention that right down the road from it is the Cabot cheese factory where you can taste like 1,000 cheeses and then a litle further down the road is the Cider Mill where you can watch them make apple cider and eat fresh doughnuts! So its not good for the waistline, but with all the snowshoeing and outdoor activities you should be fine.
Really the point is, there is lots to do and I’m sure you will love it!! Good luck with the move…
11. Heather B. | February 11th, 2008 at 7:22 am
You are moving north! YAY! And I’d totally kiss you, too. Just FYI.
Was that over-sharing? I don’t think so.
12. Swistle | February 11th, 2008 at 7:34 am
Or, you know, start near the BOTTOM. Everyone starts near the top, and so all the A’s always get all the love. Which is something I should have taken into account when I named my blog.
13. claire | February 11th, 2008 at 7:42 am
If all i had seen was that picture of the “sunroom”, i would have my bags packed and boxes on a truck. That’s absolutely beautiful. I am supremely jealous of you and your new Gilmore Girls lifestyle.
I have found that purchasing a set of friendly-moose-printed flannel pajamas has gotten me over the fear of moose. It helps. No really. : )
I would ask you for a shipment of Key Limes before you left the Sunshine State, but that would probably be a hassle, and it would mean i’d have to juice and freeze the things before they spoiled and that just sounds like too much for me today. Heh.
14. -R- | February 11th, 2008 at 7:59 am
That sunroom! Wow! And I am so excited for you because Lindsey said yes!
I was just thinking that there is a clear Republican man’s hairstyle, but then I realized that John Edwards has the hairstyle in question, so now my whole theory is thrown off.
15. Laurel | February 11th, 2008 at 8:22 am
I host at Yahoo and my fiance hosts at Globat–I find Globat to be kinda slow. At least his blog is. Very odd indeed.
Hi-larious about the colon moment!
16. Sonya | February 11th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Long time reader, but my first time commenting. I just moved about 2 months ago, and I’ve got 2 tips for you:
1) Use boxes from the liquor store to pack up the kitchen (especially good for glassware, olive oils, vinegars, etc). Also, we answered some craigslist adds for free boxes and it was a huge help (not to mention green and free). And I can’t recommend wardrobe boxes enough for packing up your closets.
2) Seems to me you are a clean freak like me, but I’ll say this anyway. Before packing knick knacks, frames, etc dust them! Makes it so much nicer when you unpack the boxes to have everything already clean and ready to go.
I use killerhosting dot net to host my blog, which remains empty and abandoned by me, but I’ll be damned if it’s not well-hosted. Now if only I would start writing… Best of luck with the move!
17. cagey | February 11th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Vermont? While I am partial to New Hampshire as my Favorite New England state (I even got married there), I am still v. v. jealous that you get to move to Vermont. You and your fancy sunrooms……
18. Lawyerish | February 11th, 2008 at 9:56 am
I weep for that sunroom.
I use Network Solutions to host my site. It works just fine and the one time I had a problem (resulting from my total tech-dumbness, a problem that you and Adam do not have), they were helpful and responsive.
19. Kristin H | February 11th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Your fear about the piano is bizarre, yet oddly endearing.
I think Suebob has nailed it on moving. But when you’re down to a hangar, a plant, and a bottle of Windex, you’ll know you’re done. In less than 3 weeks! Holy god. Good luck. I really hate moving.
LOVE the sunroom. You might even want to call it a “solarium” if you’re feeling fancy.
20. Erin | February 11th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Another moving tip
Go to your local Borders, Waldenbooks or Barnes and Nobles and ask for some boxes for your books. I worked for Borders for six years and brought home boxes from them each time I moved. I swear, you could probably stuff an elephant in there and the bottom still won’t give out. Your back might, but you know your box will be okay. 
Also, clothing makes good wrapping on breakable items–you get your clothes and your glassware packed at the same time!
As for the moose, just think of them as the steroidal deer on the playground. They’re all big and stuff, but if you don’t mess with them, they won’t mess with you. They might eat your garden though, should you decide to grow one–and you can, with two acres to play with! I am jealous of your two acres!
21. Cobwebs | February 11th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Yay, creek and apple tree! Yay sunroom!
Moose are cute. There was a video making the rounds (which of course I can’t find now that I want to reference it) of a young moose who kept coming up to peoples’ cars and hopefully sticking his nose in the window to be petted. I think that unless you sneak up on them and hit them with a stick they probably won’t trouble you.
I use WestHost (www.westhost.com) as my host, and like them a lot. Avoide Jumpline at all costs.
22. Leah | February 11th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Two acres? Two acres! (I hope you don’t have to mow it or anything…)
I host through h2hosting, and they’re awesome. Always zippy with the customer service, which I hardly ever need.
23. no name slob | February 11th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
On the topic of moose: I went to a wedding in very northern Minnesota (Grand Rapids, birthplace of Judy Garland!) and having been informed that moose are sometimes spotted up there, I was DESPERATE to see one for myself. Alas, the closest I got was (ill consideredly) mentioning this fact to some relatives of the bride at the gift-opening and being regaled with man-I’d-never-met’s story of shooting a moose and spending hours hacking it apart (it being far too large to move as a whole), finally dragging himself and his moose meat (*snicker*) out of the frozen woods at 4 in the morning.
Um. Thank you, random man with awesome accent (have you been to northern MN? We Minnesotans are, of course, not all as Fargo would have you believe, but the people with genuine Iron Range accents are a delight to listen to), but that really, REALLY wasn’t the wildlife experience I was hoping for. Sigh.
Anyhow, I’m looking forward to hearing tales of Vermont and seeing you settle into and explore your new home. I am personally such a city girl that I find it hard to imagine the type of move you’re making, and yet I am undeniably intrigued. Plus it’s hard to scoff at 19th century farmhouses (how can it NOT be delightful)?
24. Christine | February 11th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
SHOOT I forgot to tell you the ONE moose story I know. A friend of a friend is Canadian, and was going out for an early morning run (so kind of darkish) in autumn when he ran smack into a moose. Now, why Kyle did not see the moose before running into his rear end, we will never know. But there you have it. He ran into a moose and survived.
You’ll be fine.
25. claire | February 11th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
but christine? what did the moose do?
26. jonniker | February 11th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
HA. Claire, I had the same question: WHAT DID THE MOOSE DO?
27. Desha | February 11th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Hi Jonniker (I comment here a lot, this is my new & improved pseudonym)!
Congratulations to all of you – that sunroom looks so divine I want to move…it…right over to my house. My moose story is short, but terrifying – I had my arthritic grandmother and two little sisters on the banks of some lake in Montana when an ENORMOUS moose came swimming out of the water and decided he’d like to get out. Right where we were. Scary! Very scary! I knew we couldn’t move out of his way, so we just sat still. I aged about a year in twenty seconds.
Happy moving (ok, happy getting a new gyno and a new hair stylist and making new friends) Can’t wait to hear from you in VERMONT!
PS Send Ben and Jerrys’.
28. velocibadgergirl | February 11th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Dude, I SO feel you on the All Moving, All the Time channel. That’s all we’re watching, too.
Good luck, and may it comfort you to know my husband and I are going through the same pain (and excitement) that you are!
29. Christine | February 11th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Apparently, the moose did Nothing. Looked around, and then did not move. I believe that when Kyle said he calmly walked away, he really meant to say he ran like all hell had broken loose.
30. Gwen | February 11th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Why would you not want to host your page yourself? I’ve had so many problems with hosting services that I’d be thrilled if we had our own server.
Good luck with the move! My advice to you is this: definitely take this opportunity to get rid of things, but be careful not to be overzealous. I somehow thought it was a good idea to not take any casserole dishes with us, which is a pain in the butt when I want to make mac and cheese.
31. jonniker | February 11th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Gwen: Having your own server box is hella expensive if you’re only hosting a blog or two on it — far more than a hosting service even at their most expensive plans with more bandwidth than my little site will ever see. We don’t host it in our living room, per se, but we lease one from a company in New York-ish., and right now the only reason we have it is for my blog — Adam originally got it as a development server and if he keeps my blog on it, that means he can’t do any projects on the server without taking the site down for up to several days at a clip. Which isn’t really conducive to a blog.
That’s way more than you ever wanted to know. But if we’re paying for a server, he’s going to at least use it for stuff that’s important professionally.
32. Sarah | February 11th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Good luck!
33. Jenk | February 11th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
I use Swank Web Hosting which I can’t seem to shut up about. I tell everyone that they rock. I’ve only need customer service a couple of times for problems I created myself. They were super fast in responding and kindly fixed the problems even though they were totally my own fault.
Oh and hi! I’m delurking just for this informative comment.
Your welcome.
34. metalia | February 11th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Dude. When everything seems like it’s getting TOO stressful with the move and all, just sit back, take a deep breath…and pickle something.
(On that note, I’ve been pondering the idea of pickling canned corn. DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, MISSY!)
35. skiplovey | February 12th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Nice sunroom! That probably would have sold it for me too.
Happy packing. Packing is the time I choose to get rid of tons of unnecessary crap from my life, it’s so more fun the throw stuff away rather than pack it. That way you can live without it for awhile to see if you actually needed those million tchokes or not. And if you do you can always buy more.
Goodbye Florida!!
36. Mauigirl52 | February 13th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Lovely sunroom, agree. And don’t worry about the moose. We were in Canada looking for the damn things (being tourists) and only saw one in two weeks – a lady Moose, hiding in the bushes and not moving, standing there hoping we wouldn’t notice her and would go away.
37. damien rice&hellip | March 19th, 2008 at 3:29 am
[...] which was almost as entertaining & awkward as the first time they met, but theblog.filter-mag.comUnplayed Piano I??m going to warn you: the channel we??re tuned to around these parts is ???All Moving, All the [...]
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