Road to Somewhere
March 3rd, 2008
Adam and I are relatively smart people, I promise. I mean, I’m an editor! I know how to properly use a semicolon! And I get paid for it and everything! Granted, this is one of those savant-like things that you can either do or you can’t, and I’m pretty sure it has little to do with intelligence, but given the fact that we left the lights on in our Honda this evening — in 20 degree weather — while we dined on chicken jalfrezi and raita, it’s the best I can come up with. You can probably deduce that this means that our car battery went kerplunk, leaving us with nothing more to do but stare at each other and wonder if we should just leave it there and walk home (totally an option, albeit not an attractive one) or beg someone for a jump.
We opted for abject pleading, and ended up getting a jump from a nice family who just moved here from Reading, Pennsylvania (What up, my fellow Pennsylvanians!) and driving around what is essentially a one-horse town for 20 minutes, before becoming so bored of passing the same Mobil station over and over and oh my God OVER AGAIN, only to sit in the driveway and stare at each other for a while while the battery charged.
Honestly? It beats sitting on the air mattress with no stuff and no cable — no TELEVISION, actually, for we clearly have cable Interwebs. Buuut, I think I have officially reached the end of the Internet. Send help, for I’ve seen it all. Oh, and if any of you feel like updating your blogs hourly, rest assured, I will read every last blasted entry in excruciating detail. I never realized how important stuff is until you don’t have any, and by “stuff” I mean a fresh pair of socks and maybe a sweater other than this brown hoodie that I’ve been growing on my arms for about a week. I cannot WAIT to have new clothes and clean socks and dishes! I WANT DISHES! Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a homemade pickled carrot? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?
Ahem. Forgive us, for we are losing our minds here on the air mattress. Our stuff has been delayed by a day and won’t arrive until Wednesday, so until then, iTunes is my sole form of entertainment. And you, of course.
I went to get some work done at a coffee shop today — the shop, I’m guessing, that will be my office, at least for the short term — and it was my first official day as a full-time freelance writer-slash-editor, and hell, I enjoyed it. I wonder how long it will be before I hear the hum of painful boredom and lack of social interaction, for I talked to precisely no one except for a few friends over IM. Well, and the barista.
The job situation here is … well, it’s SMALL, to put it politely, and for the moment, I can make more money with more intellectual stimulation via the world of freelancing than I would, say, as a dental assistant or a receptionist, of which there are jobs aplenty in the region. Writers and marketing types, not so much, but it’s day three, so what do I know? I’m keeping my eyes on it, but the last thing I feel like doing is giving up something I genuinely enjoy for the lone sake of getting out of the house, so hello, coffee shop, my new friend! How are you? I should also add that one of the many quirks of my little town, however stereotypical, is that patchouli (the cheap oil, not the refined fragrance I know and love) seems to be experiencing a revival of sorts, for I smelled it on MANY, MANY PEOPLE today, and beards seem to be some sort of compulsory rite of passage. I imagine they have to, for it’s so damn cold out there, and ski masks are terrifying, and indicate something will be happening at gunpoint in a matter of moments. Adam is pondering it, so he says, because apparently there are few opportunities to grow a beard without being mocked, and this is one of them. To which I reply that I may never kiss him — or do any of the things that kissing leads to, ahem — again, and is a beard really worth that?
He’s still deciding.
Which brings me, in a roundabout way, to the issue of getting out of the house. Well, maybe not getting out of the house so much — the coffee shop will do that for me — but getting out to a place to meet actual people outside of a workplace environment. Frankly, I get a little tired of meeting people at work anyway, for suddenly your world becomes entirely too entrenched in your place of employment and God, nothing is worse than doing something embarrassing, like farting or capping three of your teeth in saag paneer, and having to face the same people in a professional setting the following day. Friends forgive these things, but in the wrong work environment, forget it. You’ll be known as Farting Spinach Girl for the rest of your tenure, emphasis on the farting portion.
I’ve toyed with the idea of a Unitarian-Universalist organization and I will, I don’t know, take yoga or join a gym or something, but I’ve never been very good at joining things. So, we shall see. But hey, um, anyone ever joined anything and had it work out? Anyone a Unitarian-Universalist? (Forget a regular Jesus-y church. It’s not me, save for my deep admiration and envy for the Episcopalians and Jews, but even that is too great a leap for me for the time being.)
Also, on an unrelated note, I have a haircut tomorrow, and I’m TERRIFIED. What … what’s going to happen? WHERE IS SQUIGGY? I sense that I’m not exactly on the cutting edge of hair fashions here in the wilderness, so this should, ah, be exciting. Adam has advised me to buy some hats just in case things go horribly awry.
And with that, I’m going to stare at the air mattress for a while and maybe play some TyperShark. Yes, that’s precisely how desperate we are. WE HAVE NO STUFF. SEND SOCKS.
*Goldfrapp
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
37 Comments Add your own
1. Carol | March 3rd, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Two comments – we are semi-practicing Unitarians AND let us know how the hair stylist likes your hair color? Do you think he/she will be able to replicate it?
2. Sarah | March 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Hang in there, the socks will arrive shortly! And thanks for the props to Epis!
3. cynthea | March 3rd, 2008 at 7:45 pm
I’m a lurker, well … reader, lurker sounds ridiculous. Anyhoo, I’m sitting here surrounded by my stuff AND I FEEL FOR YOU.
4. -R- | March 3rd, 2008 at 7:50 pm
When we moved to Minnesota, I didn’t really join anything, but I did accept pretty much every single invitation I received, even from people I didn’t like, just to meet people. Eventually it worked out.
5. whoorl | March 3rd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Regarding the hair, just promise me I won’t see a Flickr photo of you with your hair down to your ass in a couple of years.
6. whoorl | March 3rd, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Although, my hair? Is currently down to my ass. And mulletized.
Okay, bye.
7. jonniker | March 3rd, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Whoorl, as I mentioned to you, I swear to Jesus, I had that exact same cut that you’re currently sporting. Man, do I feel for you.
As for my hair, HELL NO. It will stay short. And red. And pink. And blond. So help me, if this Mark person can do that for me.
8. M&Co. | March 3rd, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I’ve belonged to LOTS of gyms over the years. I’ve never met anything through them. I think -R- is right. Accept all the invites you get and hopefully they won’t all be freaks.
9. jonniker | March 3rd, 2008 at 8:37 pm
HAHAHA, I’m scared, for you are all assuming I’ll get invites to anything. HEH.
10. Schnozz | March 3rd, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Is there an Ethics Society there? If you are truly godless (and perhaps you aren’t), it might be even more up your alley. I’ve looked into both and would probably join either, but I think I’m leaning toward the ES because it seems more action-oriented, maybe?
11. jonniker | March 3rd, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Schnozzers, you mentioned that to me once before, and you know, I can’t find one. Like, anywhere. I found one where you live, though! Sad. The U-U seems relatively godless in the sense that “God is vaguely out there in some nebulous form but not Jesus, we promise,” and I think I can live with that, so we’ll see. It’s still a CHURCHY-type thing that brings back all kids of bad LCMS memories, but I’m willing to give it a whirl.
12. Christine | March 3rd, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Rats. I suck at making new friends and therefore all my Phila friends I know through work or Tony’s work, or are holdovers from college who live down here too. OH and also Lara from the internets, because we are both basically lushes.
Maybe the U-U would be a good way to go…but I can’t get over the feeling that anything that organized leads to having some weirdos, but I guess you risk the good with the bad?
Good luck with your hair. I have to get mine done in a bad way. BAD I tell you.
13. Angella | March 3rd, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I know this Jesus guy, and He’s pretty cool. He didn’t like the church-folks either. He also hung out with the druggies and prostitutes, and could even turn water into wine!
Sounds like someone who knows how to party
14. Suebob | March 3rd, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Don’t ask me – I suck beyond sucking at joining things. I joined my church with DETERMINATION to for God’s sake just join something and stick to it for once and here I am, a little over two years in, filled with regret. I am on the BOARD and yesterday I could not bring myself to go to service. Oooh, bad. It is this The Law of Attraction/Prosperity thing they have going on that is making me feel like a heretic. Imagine a red bike and you will GET a red bike because God wants you to have one…it makes me sick to see people so deluded and idiotic…sorry for the rant. You touched a nerve.
The UUs are good people. Try that. Or yoga. Or improv. Whateva.
15. Shelly | March 4th, 2008 at 6:53 am
Hi, you can read my blog, but I don’t know the proper use of a semi-colon–so you’ll have to forgive all my grammar errors. I wanted to major in English and teach (hahahahahahahah), but my grammar skills went to pot after I quit college and got married, so I use lots of …….. to simultate pauses in conversation….it’s fun!!
Also, not sure how entertained you’ll be…..I WANT to be funny, and sometimes I totally crack myself up, but hey….not so sure You’ll be cracked up. I’m just learning the blog world, and have recently learned how to post photos….so guess what my recent posts have in them? Kids, Pets……FOOD items……
So, have at it……maybe my 14 yr old son who thinks he’s all that will make you laugh…or my dogs……or my condiment ‘issue’.
Laugh Away!!
16. moo | March 4th, 2008 at 6:53 am
If anything costs money to join, I’m out. Because invariably, I will not then take advantage of said joining possibilities.
But! check out the library and coffee shop notices board … perhaps there is a book club or a movie club. Barnes & Noble will have things like this (perhaps a knitting club?) that will, at least, be free.
Moving sucks. There is no doubt about it.
17. Beth | March 4th, 2008 at 7:23 am
In the spirit of bringing you hair comfort, I will tell you that my NYC cousins who have the farmhouse in Vermont WISH the woman who cuts their hair in Vermont would move to New York because they can’t find a stylist they like in Manhattan.
So there you go. Your hair will be OK. Just walk outside, fall on your knees, and yell, “LAUREN!” and maybe she’ll come running, shears in hand.
18. Erin | March 4th, 2008 at 7:35 am
With a Netflix membership you can watch television shows from past seasons. I’m not exactly sure how it works or if they have a limit of the number of hours you can watch but it might be worth a shot.
I also suck at joining things, which is why I’m so glad we moved to an area where I already have friends. I agree with the library bulletin board idea. While you are there, you can get a library card and find something to read for the next couple of days while you wait for the unpacking extravaganza to hit. The bulletin board at the grocery store can also be a great place–not just to find notices of group meetings but to get a feel for the place you live without actually having to interact with too many people while you are in “shy” mode.
19. Jess | March 4th, 2008 at 7:35 am
Your attitude toward beards is exactly the same as mine. Also, I am not UU but the man who is going to officiate at our wedding is a UU minister and I think he’s awesome. Also, Quakers. They’re great too.
20. Heather B. | March 4th, 2008 at 7:56 am
What if this new guy isn’t as inadvertantly hilarious like Squiggy? Then what?
Also if you get really bored feel free to come a little south and west for an impromptu wine/whine party.
21. Laurel | March 4th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Hmmm…weren’t you in a sorority? Maybe they have an alum chapter nearby? Sometimes they’re not too bad–though the one in my old hometown is full of Delta Grandmas (I was a DG), the one near my old college is full of fun young alums.
22. amandampc | March 4th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Now I feel happy – I have something worthy of envy! My Episcopalian…ism? Is that an actual word? And it’s more than a little bit lapsed but I could probably still whip off the Nicene Creed if heavily pressured. And my husband’s Jewish – double score!! Whatever you do for a career, please make it involve writing. Flattery may freak you out but you are truly, sincerely, genuinely GREAT at it. You have the gift, girl.
23. Kristin H | March 4th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I also suck at joining things. But look at that, I just joined the bandwagon with people who don’t join things. Maybe I am turning over a new leaf!
Seriously. I plan on homeschooling my kids and part of what I need to do is create a “network” of other homeschoolers, which, as a nonjoiner, I am unsure how to do. I think people should just gravitate to me because they sense that I am preternatually fun and also hilarious.
24. Kristin H | March 4th, 2008 at 10:35 am
PS — I think you’ve got something going with the pink hair. People will be drawn to it, like moths to a light. The oldsters in Florida, they were probably just afraid of it. Vermonters will embrace it.
25. TwoBusy | March 4th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Yeah — you can relive those happy sorority days! (Unless, of course, that’s where you first became known as Farting Spinach Girl.)
My suggestion on making friends in VT: start asking people if they used to be in Phish. That should work wonders.
26. Leah | March 4th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Holy hell, I forgot about Squiggy! Mind if I mourn him a little, even though he was clearly insane?
27. babs | March 4th, 2008 at 11:16 am
I forget if I’ve commented on this, but I’m loving the idea of your move to Vermont. It’s my total fantasy (except for the no TV or stuff part). Anyway, my sister just pointed me to a site called meetup.com, where you can find people of similar interests in your area. I just signed up last night for a couple groups, but it seems pretty cool. I’ve also met some great girls through a book club.
Oh yeah, I’m looking forward to the stories about your freelance life. I do that as well, and am curious to hear what your experience end’s up being like. : )
28. She Likes Purple | March 4th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Can I just say something totally unrelated? I consider myself of average intelligence and I know (NOW) how to properly use a semicolon, but back in college (I should have lied and said middle school so you wouldn’t cringe for me) I once used THREE semicolons in one sentence just to see if my prof would find me original and brilliant. He instead wrote in the margin: “Refer to your Chicago Manual more often.”
29. Artemisia | March 4th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
A. has a beard in the winter and it is — hairy. Bah.
I say give the UU as try; at the very least you might meet people you’d like to hang out with when you’ve had enough of the UU.
Good luck! I hope the first box you unpack has socks in it!
30. Katie | March 4th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Okay. I am considering a move to Vermont. I will be devotedly reading YOU to help me decide.
Beards = uh-oh
Patchouli = ick
Friends? Sorry chica, but I’m a lonely loner. Bah!
31. Judith in NYC | March 4th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
You certainly moved to my kind of state. I just heard on CNN that one of Vermont’s townships approved a measure to arrest and impeach Bush and Cheney. Sorry, Republican readers, I just thought this was just too funny. Long live democracy!
32. Jenk | March 4th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
I reached the end of the internet once. Luckily they update it every day or I would be lost.
Also? Living in a town of 1000 people? I feel your pain with the lack of people and places to go. But! They have the best gossip in small towns. Everyone is willing to talk. A couple of days at the coffee shop and you will know who is sleeping with who, who hasn’t been sleeping with who, and which strange bearded men to avoid.
Good Luck with the socks!
33. claire | March 5th, 2008 at 6:31 am
looks like i’m a day late here, but i just wanted to say how i heart the UUs, and i would probably join if i were a joiner and if i had the discipline to go to something like that on a weekly basis. but i don’t. though i wish i were. i’ve thought about joining for years. YEARS. and just haven’t brought myself to do it. i have a few family members who are involved with them and one who is a board member (or committee member or something) and she really enjoys it.
i say go for it. you’ll definitely meet people – whether or not they’re smelly hippies is probably a geographical issue. you never know what you’re going to get…
34. Mauigirl52 | March 5th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
We lived in our neighborhood for nearly 10 years and only saw our neighbors once a year at the block party that someone organized every fall – until we joined our newly-formed neighborhood association. Now we’re pillars of the community (LOL!) and know tons of people. See if there are any local neighborhood organizations you can join. Or political organizations, if you’re into it. I think it helps to find people who are like-minded. And yes, a Unitarian church might be a good start.
35. MsPrufrock | March 5th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Pennsylvanians, woo hoo! Reppin’! Ahem.
I fear moving to a new place, as it took me 5 years to make my handful of friends here. UUs seem a friendly sort, I’m sure they’d welcome you into their fold.
36. credit repair vermont&hellip | December 14th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
credit repair vermont…
This is a great website. I like it alot….
37. san diego yoga&hellip | January 2nd, 2010 at 5:34 pm
san diego yoga…
If you have limbs you currently can’ t reach, a yoga strap will let you to hold onto those limbs, and it can also aid you in holding a pose longer. You can use a yoga strap for a variety of poses. For example, if you hook it around your foot while your…
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed