Which Will

Honestly, the last two days’ events make me wish that you all were here for MenstruCon ’07, otherwise known as the Era of the Diva Cup. Because man, y’all are funny. I would be particularly interested in Shelly‘s comments during that time, because she’s certainly provided some interesting fodder for us to consider during this laundric era, did she not? From bleached loads to glandular issues, I’d never given my underwear so much thought.

I’m almost hesitant to move on, because I still feel like there are still FEELINGS here, but alas, we cannot talk about poop molecules forever.

I would like to think that naturopathic medicine is a good idea. I would — I really, really would. In theory, I get it. I see how eating certain foods fixes certain things, and God knows I’ve all but shoved slippery elm powder down a certain husband’s throat during tummy upsets. But when I go to an actual doctor, I have to tell you: I’m disappointed when they don’t seem all that into traditional medicine. No, I don’t need to be prescribed buckets of Prozac because I’m having a rough day and I do think there is some truth to the overmedicating of America. I mean, I’m all for psychotropic medicine, but I also think that maybe some people could do for some talk therapy, too, you know? Medications are miraculous and I’ve taken them myself, but augmenting it with therapy is something I feel kind of strongly about, at least at first. In other words, don’t just shove a prescription in someone’s face and say “All better!” as so many do, without also looking at the whole person. (It’s been done to me , “Here, take some Paxil! Would you like some Topamax, too? All better!”)

Anyway, above and beyond Mr. BBT, I had an intro phone conversation with a prospective primary care doc today and she seemed skeptical on the need (the BURNING need, I might add) for synthetic thyroid hormones for my Hashimoto’s disease. Instead, she suggested that perhaps instead of follow up bloodwork after dosage increases, that I might consider avoiding cruciferous vegetables and other thyroid-inhibiting foods?

Yeah, um, no. Not so much. Especially when mistreated thyroid disease can cause infertility and/or early miscarriage and, if the pregnancy makes it to term, it can also cause developmental delays and physical disabilities. Is avoiding broccoli going to keep my kid from having fins and antennae for ears? I think not.

And finally, a note to parking-lot walkers of America, or at least Vermont: Look, I get that it’s a parking lot and not a highway, which is why I’m driving SLOWLY. This is your place to mingle, really it is. Get your shopping cart on — it’s totally okay. I am not out to run you down, but maybe you could not walk in the middle of the aisle like it’s the MALL? Maybe? And perhaps — just a thought — when you see me driving behind you at a virtual crawl, you could PRETEND to hustle to the side. Like mothers of kids on a screaming plane, I feel for you — I really do — but all I need is a fake effort, really. I don’t need you to break into a RUN or anything, but a little look my way that says “Oh! I realize I’m wildly meandering like I’m on Main Street USA in Disney World! LET ME TRY TO MOVE OVER A LITTLE” would really go a long way. Perhaps then I would be a little less inclined to plow you down like an arcade game.

Incidentally, the same rules apply to pedestrians crossing at an inopportune crosswalk. I will stop for you — with pleasure, really — but when you cockily mosey across the street talking on the phone and stopping to tie your shoe in the middle of the street, it only adds to the appeal of mowing you down like a yellowjacket.

We’re having a visitor until Saturday, so I may or may not see you before the weekend rolls around. If I don’t, I hope you have a great weekend. For our part, it’s the Vermont Maple Open House Weekend, and I am totally playing tourist and hitting up some sugar shacks, I don’t care who sees me.

*Nick Drake

25 comments March 26th, 2008