It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over
May 26th, 2008
Not that anyone asked, but I am back on Weight Watchers again, this time to lose the seven pounds I gained since February. I know this seems … Draconian, to some, because hey, it’s only seven pounds! But I PROMISED myself I wouldn’t let my weight creep back up again, because seven becomes ten, which can become twenty SO FAST and I worked so hard and … well, you get it, and I hope you don’t think I’m an asshole. This happened, by the way, because of LARGE AMOUNTS of Vermont cheddar and local artisan cheeses and … well, there’s a lot of ridiculously good food here, man. A LOT. Also, the whole reason that I lost the weight in the first place was so that I didn’t become the size of a large airship when and if we got pregnant, and since we’re still trying, it seems wasteful to get huge again before that day comes.
The point is this: if you’re dieting, or even if you aren’t, edamame might be the greatest thing ever. One point! And it takes FOREVER to eat! One point! And you can salt them to your heart’s content and for some reason, this is a perfectly acceptable substitute for potato chips, I don’t know why. (I don’t watch my sodium intake. I know I should, but … I’m not ready to right now. Or ever. I know.) This is a significant step up from the last time I did WW, when I found myself drinking VATS of chicken broth laced with curry to satisfy my salt cravings, mostly at night. I was also getting up to pee approximately 11 times each evening. Isn’t that so sad? CHICKEN BROTH. If I didn’t have an exceedingly healthy relationship with food, I’d wonder if that wasn’t some disordered eating right there.
This would be a great segue to The Omnivore’s Dilemma, if I could get anywhere in it. The introduction is, after all, about America’s eating disorder, born of far too many choices/diets/eating plans. Except that I’ve been “reading” it for two weeks, and I’m on page 73, which means I’m … well, I’m not reading it at all, am I? The thing is, I dread picking it up. It’s okay, I suppose, and the underlying principles are so interesting, it’s just that my GOD, it’s a little too much detail, and I would argue that it’s not even all USEFUL detail. I’m left feeling that surely something can be condensed, and I don’t need to know EVERY INTIMATE DETAIL of the hybridization of corn — just a basic overview would have sufficed. Because I’m still on CORN. CORN CORN CORN. And corn is starting to gross me out, frankly, if only because I’m SO SICK of hearing about it.
CORN. BAH.
A few things that crossed my mind while reading this week’s (or was it last week?) US Weekly:
1) Heidi and Spencer: Do they ever have a photo opportunity that is not staged? Does Heidi know how to make ANY OTHER FACE except that of feigned surprise? I don’t even watch The Hills — I’ve never seen an episode — and yet, I’m left wondering, really? REALLY? Why are they still being photographed?
2) What is the appeal of John Mayer? He’s not attractive in the least, and by all accounts, both anecdotal and published, appears to be a douchebag of astronomic proportions, and YET! Yet. Dude gets play, this time from a very vulnerable-looking Jennifer Aniston (who smokes Merits? Really?) and I don’t even have a particular affection for Aniston, and yet, I would like to shake her and remind her that no, no, really; he’s gross. Pretend he didn’t sing “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” Would you still think he’s hot? That’s what I thought.
3) Why must celebrities be draped over each other like curtains at sporting events? Why, Tom and Gisele? Adam and I have attended many basketball games together — courtside, even, once — and yet, I’ve never had my hand seductively on his knee and we’ve never had lingering kisses over nachos. In fact, I’m pretty sure if I tried to kiss him at a game, he’d brush me off, because dude, we are in MAN TERRITORY. How hard is that?
Then again, since we don’t hold hands, walk pretty far apart from each other and aren’t smiling every second together, I’m pretty sure the magazines would be constantly insisting that we’re feuding, with the headline “Jonna & Adam: It’s OVER!” even though it isn’t.
I hope you had a great long weekend.
*Lenny Kravitz
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
34 Comments Add your own
1. Melissa | May 26th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Hey, that’s what WW is for, right? If you’ve gotten above your comfort level, that’s all that matters.
Heidi … I wish the next photographer would walk up and gently close her mouth before snapping the shot. Or not so gently close her mouth. Just SHUT IT, Heidi!
2. Jennifer | May 26th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I think John Mayer’s appeal – at least for me – lies in his constant fucking with the entertainment press. I can’t think of a group of ‘journalists’ that deserves to be fucked with MORE than that group of douchebags.
I am right there with you on the weight issue for exactly the same reason. I’ve put on twenty (!) pounds since my wedding in October and we’re also working on a baby. I am scared to death that I am going to become one of those humongazoid mothers. I know, I know, a healthy baby is what’s important and blah blah blah but I really don’t want to be unhealthy and set a bad example for my child.
3. tutugirl1345 | May 26th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I totally understand what you’re going through with the Omnivore’s Dilemma. I’ve been reading it since Christmas and I just got through the second section of the book. While it seems a shame to not read it quickly, I think that slowly reading is allowing me to ponder and understand the points he’s making. Also, the second section in Organic farming is way more interesting than the first. Especially when he starts comparing large scale organic farming with small family style organic farming.
4. mar | May 26th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
i recommend reading the barbara kingsolver (?) book instead of omnivore’s dilemma.
also, i need to get me some edamame. i’ve never bought it for at-home consumption. i lost about 10lbs due to depression-induced lack of eating, but now the weight’s coming back on & i felt healthier at just 5lbs less than i am. back to thedailyplate.com to track my calories, i think!
it was such a glorious long weekend i wish it wouldn’t end! and i finished writing my book (3 years later, if i’d known i could wrap it up in the last 3 weeks, i probably would’ve done it sooner!)
5. Leane | May 26th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
i love edamame..do you get a particular brand..i keep getting a particular frozen bag full that has the shells already off..is it better to cook them in the shell ?? that surely would take more work!
6. jonniker | May 26th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Tutu & Mar: Not that I think I’m the most well educated person ever on the topic, but I guess I’m wondering if I HAVE to read the book. I already eat local, for the most part — never organic, but local first — and I make a conscious choice not to be a vegetarian, despite knowing about the, uh, practices. I don’t know! I just know that I have to return it to the library by June 9 and I’m doubting if I’ll make it.
Also, Mar … DUUUUDE. Congratulations!
Leane: In the shell! In the shell! So much harder to eat, but so much better. You can slurp them out with your teeth and suck them out of the salted pods. Delicious!
7. Gwen | May 26th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
I’ve also been totally unable to get through The Omnivore’s Dilemma. I’ve been advised to try In Defense of Food instead, which is shorter and hopefully snappier, but haven’t gotten around to trying yet.
8. mar | May 26th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
really don’t think, as you’re already aware of the ramifications, that you should feel obligated. the kingsolver book-animal, vegetable, miracle- is a nonfiction narrative along the same subject that’s very readable. at least i think they’re similar.
also, thanks! i’m on tenterhooks waiting for you to write a book. but then i’d be afraid it’d be all ‘julie & julia’
and hold up, you have to cook edamame? maybe that’s too much for me!
9. Shelly | May 26th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Edemame–my FAVORITE. I also by shelled….I’ve never known what to DO with the pods…I use kosher salt, pepper, and sesame oil, then roast them…..I have yet to ‘perfect’ the roasting…..I’ve done it hot and fast and cooler and slow, with the same results….the outside too oily (but tasty)…….I want something like popcorn or peanuts that I can just toss back without washing my hands after every bite. They aren’t very crispy (like a nut), but man do they TASTE good.
Thank you for saying John Mayer isn’t all that……..he’s creepy looking to me, and the whole “I’m bored with you” attitude that comes across in his photos is too arrogant for me to be okay with.
Weight….ahhhh…..I am very overweight….I acutally LOST weight with each pregnancy due to not feeling well……and of course gained it back. I have issues, dude…….I like me on the inside, but an HUGELY self consious on the outside……so way to go with WW……I’m way to chicken to do stuff like that……….afraid of losing and gaining………..so congrats…I admire those who are able to STICK with a good eating plan……..
10. Swistle | May 26th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I’m trying to think of a good way to find out what edamame is and how to pronounce it and what section to look for it in the grocery store—while acting as if I already know. As Paul says, “If only I had access to some sort of global information system…”
John Mayer’s head is SO ENORMOUS. How does he even hold it up? Also, I dislike his attitude. On the other hand, I saw a photo of him looking at Jennifer Aniston, and his expression made me think, “….Okay, I guess I can see how that would be effective.” But I think he seems like a total jerk/player.
Heidi/Spencer. They must be living a 100% fake life at this point. They don’t do ANYTHING if it isn’t being photographed. I think of them like big dolls who are only animated when being watched.
I don’t watch salt, either. I’m not going to unless I have health problems from it, which so far I haven’t. My MIL, who has high blood pressure and has been told to eat as close to a salt-free diet as possible, is aghast. She thinks salt is inherently bad. I disagree. I could be wrong—but I’m sure not going to look it up to find out. Life without salt? I don’t know.
11. jonniker | May 26th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Swistle: ed-uh-MAH-me. It’s the Japanese (I think?) name for baby soybean pods, which is all they are. The ones I bought today were on sale — Spongebob Squarepants! Ha. HA! This cracked me up, as they were edamame for kids’ lunchboxes, and I kept thinking, no WONDER they’re on sale. What kid is going to want to take a baggie of SOYBEANS to lunch?
Also, they’re in the frozen foods section, usually.
12. Carla Hinkle | May 26th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
I just finished a 3-month stint on weight watchers to lose a little (6-7 lbs) weight. It was my first time on WW but I have to say, I thought it was an eminently doable system and seems a great way to lose a bit, if you want to. I have always counted calories in the past but now I find that too depressing …. points seems somehow not so limiting.
13. Sundry | May 26th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
1) I have been eating shelled edamame in EVERYTHING lately and it’s the best diet food ever.
2) I have given up almost every vice there is and I REFUSE to cut back on the salt. Just: NO.
3) I never thought John Mayer was attractive until I started seeing him on TMZ’s show (yes, I watch it, shut up) — he’s funny. Like, really snarky and seems smart and I don’t know, I hate that stupid song but now I think he’s kind of hot.
14. Schnozz | May 27th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Dude, John Mayer is hilarious, or at least he fakes it well. Every time he’s ever been a guest star on a reality show or pulled a stunt, it’s always been pretty funny. He once ran around before his own concert in a bear costume, hugging all the girls and asking them who the hell “John Meyers” was. Very good at Teh Deadpan, and mispronouncing his own name was a very nice touch.
Also, him in the two bluetooth earpieces … it cracked me up:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/611387370c
Oh, and also:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/26050ea6ee
(This will only make sense if you have seen the disgusting 2 Girls 1 Cup, and I’m actually hoping for your sake that you haven’t.)
I’m not saying he’s the funniest dude ever or anything, but I like a (famous and rich) man who doesn’t appear to take himself too seriously.
15. Schnozz | May 27th, 2008 at 1:32 am
Oh, and he once blogged about how everyone thinks he’s a “douchebag.” Ha!
(I do not read John Mayer’s blog. I do read The Superficial, though, which linked it.)
(Am not John Mayer stalker.)
16. Kristin H | May 27th, 2008 at 4:47 am
I never gave much thought to John Mayer until I saw the Borat swimsuit, and then I did. And the thought I had was, OhmiGod he must be kidding. He was kidding with that. Right? Right?
17. jonniker | May 27th, 2008 at 5:22 am
OMG, I’m starting to feel like I’ve no sense of humor at all, because I’ve seen John Mayer being funny and I STILL THINK HE’S AN ASS. HA HA. Am humorless crone.
18. NotAMeanGirl | May 27th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Go girl go! If I’d have done what you are about the 7lbs I wouldn’t be in the predicament I’m in. I used to think people like that were asshats … now… I FINALLY get it! More power to you for being able to say “Woah” before you hit “OH NOES!!!”
Ummm What the… is Edamame???
19. Erin | May 27th, 2008 at 6:15 am
One of my friends devoured Omnivores Delimma (ha! pun!) and loved it, which is kind of ironic because she’s a vegetarian with vegan tendencies and used it as a “this is why everyone should be vegetarian” thing. I haven’t read it, but it sounds interesting if slightly preachy.
As for John Mayer, I hate him. Hate with a capital Haaaaaay. I don’t know what it is, but every time I see him or hear one of his overly played insipid songs I get this urge to go drink a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. That is how much the man annoys me.
20. Jules | May 27th, 2008 at 6:16 am
The book gets better after the corn section, I swear. However, I was pretty interested in that part, since I have farmers in my family. Pollan is quite detail-y, isn’t he? I found myself really slogging through that book at a crawl even though I liked it.
Mmm, edamame. Awesome in stir-fry.
21. jonniker | May 27th, 2008 at 6:18 am
NAMG: Edamame are baby soybean pods, basically. You can get them shelled or in the pod — I like them in the pod.
22. Jess | May 27th, 2008 at 6:19 am
I kissed Torsten at an NBA game, but only because we were on the kiss cam and the whole arena was cheering for us to do it. You can’t NOT KISS once the kiss cam finds you. They get their kicks out of making people uncomfortable, and they will KEEP THE CAMERA ON YOU until you kiss, even if you’re with, like, your mom. AWKWARD.
23. ali | May 27th, 2008 at 6:32 am
i enjoyed hating John Mayer…until i saw this:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/611387370c
and now, i just can’t hate him. GRR>>.
24. Shelly | May 27th, 2008 at 6:32 am
What’s a good way to cook/serve/eat edemame in the pod? I’ve been dying to try them, everyone RAVES about it, but I’m clueless as to how to go about cooking them.
25. jonniker | May 27th, 2008 at 6:44 am
Shelly: Because I usually eat them as a snack, I stick about a cup in a bowl with a little water and cover. Microwave for about a minute and strain ‘em, salt ‘em and eat ‘em.
26. Andrea | May 27th, 2008 at 9:27 am
I LOVE edamame! It’s even a fun word to say! I find it to be really good on salads, but dude, even just plain (haven’t tried the salt) it’s so good. Good luck nixing the seven pounds.
27. cassidy | May 27th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I loved this. And I think that you should watch the Hills and that will help you understand why they are the way they are.
I think that John Mayer must have some charm that we are just not aware of. He seems to be very good at what he does (“gettin’ the ladies”.)
Also, this:
I’m pretty sure the magazines would be constantly insisting that we’re feuding, with the headline “Jonna & Adam: It’s OVER!” even though it isn’t.
made me laugh hard.
28. Annabanana | May 27th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I have to ask re:Edamame. Do you eat the pod? I have to know…
I do.
29. H | May 27th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I’m one of those “salt before you taste” people and it drives my family crazy.
Also, I used to have an eating disorder (30 years ago) but some of the eating disorder mentality is stuck in my brain. I also have chicken broth (with oyster crackers if I’m daring because just a few go a long way) for an evening snack. I have often wondered if that’s normal or part of my left over eating disorder thoughts. Another one — if we have a pan of bars or a cake, I often have to straighten the row by cutting little slivers off the row — and then I eat the little slivers. They don’t count, right?!
I’ve never had edamame and now I will get some.
30. ie | May 27th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
“If you could only…Say what you need to say” (x8)
I just looked up the lyrics to that totally boring song to find out it actually has meaning, but (look at the “x8″ above) (and then repeated 15x more within the same song) I would never have known that it was anything more than a waste of good listening time.
I don’t “hate” JM, but he does come off as a douche and that Borat yellow thing? Just about made my eyes bleed.
I forget who said it (I am thinking David Letterman) when warning women about a certain actor, referring to him as a “walking petri dish”. I always think of that phrase when you see someone *dating* girl after girl after girl (oh and the same goes the other way too, petri dishes being totally unbiased).
31. Leane | May 27th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
i thought of you and all your creepy crawly friends as you were gardening ..i gardened and saw some and then walked in the woods yesterday…and today woke up with a tick. NICE HUH? EEEEEEK.
32. Amie | May 28th, 2008 at 8:36 am
yo Jonna,
I used to love edamame too until my nutritionist told me that soy messes with your thyroid hormones. So yeah, people with thyroid issues should avoid soy. Hate to burst your bubble but basically the non medical explanation is that it counteracts your medicine. Soy isn’t the magical protein we all thought it was. They’re also starting to find out that because it is has phytoestrogens, it basically gives you more estrogen than you need and might be the cause of girls maturing faster these days (thanks baby soy formula!). I stick to whey proteins. enjoy these geeky tips from a fellow thyroid sufferer!
Amie
33. John Mayer Celebrity Goss&hellip | May 29th, 2008 at 2:17 am
[...] … and yet, I’m left wondering, really? REALLY? Why are they still being photographed? 2) What is the appeal of John Mayer?… Source: It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over [...]
34. Pee Public Pee Public Pis&hellip | August 11th, 2008 at 5:12 am
Pee Public Pee Public Pissing…
I can not agree with you in 100% regarding some thoughts, but you got good point of view…
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