Barenaked

Of all of my annoying habits/tics, probably the worst is that I scratch my head somewhat compulsively, especially when thinking (It’s a real headscratcher!) (I kill me!).I know it’s sort icky, and I recognize that it isn’t the most attractive thing in the world, but what I always find amusing is that whenever I’m around my family, my sister and/or my two mothers are always trying to break me of it in the brief time we’re together. As though a daily habit is going to dissipate over the course of a day or so because they periodically whispered, “Jonna, stop scratching your head!” This, of course, only makes me want to scratch my head MORE, and therefore, the entire time I’m with them, my head is practically scratched raw and may start bleeding at any time.

This afternoon, a tiny drop of blood came down my forehead, coming to a halt just short of my eye. A sure sign I spent extended time with my family that makes it seem so much worse than it is. I mean, there was BLOOD-LETTING, and yet, it was fun! It was such an awesome visit, and I cried when they left, despite the fact that honest to God, I feel like I got my ass HANDED to me, such is the depth of my exhaustion. I walked around all day today in a massive daze, including a client call that likely made me sound like a blithering idiot, because although he was speaking English, I was not able to follow his words, like he was talking underwater.

Not that I’ve given this that much thought (okay, that’s a lie, because for some odd reason, I HAVE), but in light of the recent Sarah Larson/George Clooney breakup, I’m wondering: How do you go back to dating normal dudes after George? Or any celebrity? I mean, one minute you’re a cocktail waitress wearing satin hotpants and serving slippery nipples to drunken gamblers, and the next, you’re decked out in YSL and grinning your way through the red carpet. Oh, and there’s that whole Lake Como house thing, and I’m honestly curious how one reacts when the next guy asks you to hit The Cheesecake Factory for a big night out with Bang-Bang Chicken and Shrimp, you know? I’ve actually brought this up to Adam, such is the depth of my curiosity, and it’s pathetic, I know it’s pathetic, and his steadfast eyeroll reminded me of how sad this conjecture truly is, especially given the fact that I always ask him this in a stained T-shirt and ratty sweater. I mean, I’m not even going OUT for a Factory Burger, who am I to criticize?

Also, not that anyone asked, but I am mystified by the whole Sex and the City phenomenon, despite having friends who ADORED it, and aside from not be able to identify with a single character, being both a suburban/country girl at heart and also a giant nerd, the reason I could never get into is that Sarah Jessica Parker is, in my opinion, a TERRIBLE actress. Awful. I … well, I hated her portrayal of Carrie, and found her to be a ridiculous caricature of herself. Is it … is it me? (It is. I know this. I do.)

(Also, OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OMFG OBAMA. I’m sorry, I had to get that out there. DUDE. OBAMA. Ahem. I’m sorry, I truly am, for the outburst, I AM SORRY. BUT YES.)

(But also very excited! Except that Hillary needs to … something impolite, I’m sorry. Also, FWIW, I was a Florida voter and I DO NOT FEEL DISENFRANCHISED.)

And finally, two things:

1) When describing being without clothing, do you prefer “nude” or “naked”? I used nude in conversation this evening and almost threw up. NUDE. How awful is that? NUDE. GAH. Reminds me of nudie films, which sounds so juvenile and makes me think of pedophilia. Yes, the word nude is apparently many-layered for me. NOOD. GRAH.

2) Cilantro: love it or hate it? Because I planted approximately 11 plants of it in my garden (which is growing, yay!) only to discover, after 10 years of living together, that Adam thinks it tastes like soap. I understand this is a known phenomenon, but I didn’t know I lived with it. And if it tastes good to you, would you like a few bundles of it? Because HA HA, hoo boy, did I ever plant a lot of it.

Happy Wednesday!

*Jennifer Love Hewitt. I love her. I can’t help it. I mean, not the music, obviously, but I have a certain affection for her that can’t be denied, and as I explained here, involves BOOBS. And even though she spells barenaked as one word, she didn’t use NUDE, which is love-worthy.

67 comments June 3rd, 2008