A Red Letter Day
June 4th, 2008
This weekend is the second weekend in a string of three consecutive Active Weekends, which are something I am not accustomed to, but enjoy greatly nonetheless. Next week, I’m headed to New Hampshire to hang with my friend Erica, and tomorrow, I head to NYC for a baby shower of epic unplanned proportions and ha HA, I AM THE PSEUDO-PLANNER. I am slowly having a heart attack as I realize that yes, I’m hosting a baby shower in a place where I AM NOT, and it’s killing me. KILLING ME. But I will be there tomorrow, and it will be OKAY.
*rocks back and forth*
(Fear not, the subject of this shower already knows my fears. SHE KNOWS.)
(Also, I am in desperate need of a run to Ann Taylor or something before the airport, as I have neither jack nor shit to wear, since everything I own makes me look the size of the Titanic. Who knew five pounds could be so damaging to what is apparently a very fragile wardrobe? I actually got so angry at my girth that I threw a pair of pants across the room and yelled, “FUCK YOU, PANTS! I HATE YOU!” Nope. Not making that up. I actually did that. My pants are understandably hurt and trying to understand how this is THEIR fault, when in fact, it is the lemon bars’, and we all know it. Oh, also there was that white chocolate lemon thing that I ate on Sunday night and I’m just not sure it was WORTH it, you know?)
(I don’t crave chocolatey desserts much. Give me lemon or vanilla or GIVE ME DEATH. Or, you know, fat pants. Whichever comes first.)
Anyway. I never knew so many people had such strong opinions on Sarah Jessica Parker OR cilantro. And I’m truly sad for you non-cilantro lovers out there, because done properly, it’s TRANSCENDENT. I would eat cilantro as salad greens if I could, and I am happy to see that there are others like me. And maybe I’ll send you my cilantro if it won’t wilt.
Since my parents left, I’ve been a state of utter malaise, where I lay in bed all day working and watching Charmed. Until today, no lie, I hadn’t showered since SUNDAY and was reluctant to do so, because eh? Who needs showers when you can work from bed with a warm puppy in your pajamas? This is understandably a very unhealthy habit, and Adam pointed out that I was starting to smell like “stinky person” but I said GODDAMN, I was so very tired, and moving my fingers to work was the best I could do.
Also, season one of Charmed is down, although I barely paid attention to it, and we are into season two — I CRIED when Andy died, because HE AND PRUE WERE SOULMATES I KNOW IT. And can I just TELL you that I am upset that Shannen Doherty leaves, because I LIKE her, off-center eyes and all? And that suddenly, I have decided that after Charmed, I am moving on to Buffy, because I want more campy fantasy. Then I’m doing Veronica Mars, if only because Jennie is forcing me at virtual gunpoint by threatening to send piles of DVDs unannounced.
We do, at some point, have to talk about the strange phenomenon in the late ’90s to wear high-waisted pants with a cropped shirt. Oh my hell, that’s bad. Like, you end up with this eerie little sliver of stomach that looks like a Buddha belly because the pants you’re wearing give you a gunt and come up to your armpits. And Shannen Doherty DOESN’T have a gunt, and yet it appears that she does, and don’t you then wonder what the rest of us who DID have one, actually looked like? Oh dear crap, it couldn’t have been good.
Have a great weekend, y’all. I know I will. You know, if my plane gets there in one piece (GAH GAH GAH)
*Pet Shop Boys
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
23 Comments Add your own
1. Danielle-Lee | June 4th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
So sweet of you to throw her a baby shower! I am so excited for her.
I’m the caramel type of dessert lover. And all of my clothes know that I hate them right now, not the caramel. It sucks!
Not showering for several days?? Who the hell cares? Guys do it, why can’t we?? I just don’t want to be bother sometimes.
Have a great weekend!
2. Suebob | June 4th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
I’m with Danielle-Lee on the caramel. One time a long time ago when I was young and foolish, I made a pan of caramel…and ate it with a spoon. Ah to be able to do that again.
My inseam is 28 inches and I am 5 foot 7, so I am all about the high waisted pants. I would LOVE for them to come back in a big way. Otherwise I look like one of those stilt-monsters with the tiny legs and the big torsos.
3. vague | June 4th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Oh, yay! Buffy and Veronica Mars! You will love them!
Also, I am SO with you on the lemon and vanilla. Far superior to chocolate desserts in every way.
4. Sadie | June 5th, 2008 at 5:17 am
Gunt. Ha! Almost worse than a Buddha belly, I think, was the “tear-drop” -shaped ass that high-waisted pants were prone to give. Ah, fashion, you are a fickle whore.
Ann Taylor has many cute dresses right now, little shift-y cotton pique dresses in some good colors, and they have pockets and are not form-fitting so you can totally get another couple of lemon bars in. Or whatever else is being served at the baby shower (squee!).
5. ali | June 5th, 2008 at 5:42 am
high waisted pants and cropped shirts do nothing good. to anyone. yeesh.
6. Jess | June 5th, 2008 at 5:55 am
I am so glad the nineties are over and that with them went the phenomenon of too-short shirts and the oh-so-popular bare midriff. UGH.
7. moo | June 5th, 2008 at 6:06 am
#1 … Charmed is NOT THE SAME without S.D. and you will be totally turned off by What It Becomes.
#2 … Buffy is the BEST SHOW EVAH until season 7, where you will want to stab your eyes out with a fork because srsly? THIS is how they are going to end the freakin’ show??
8. electriclady | June 5th, 2008 at 6:27 am
High waisted pants, cropped shirts…and suspenders, don’t forget the suspenders. Early Friends reruns are a total eyesore due to all the suspenders.
9. Christine | June 5th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Oh how I loved the first few seasons of Buffy. Then I moved and stopped watching after Season 3 (?)…but those first couple of seasons were fantastic. Campy and cheesy and perfect.
Have fun in New York! I’m so happy for Lawyerish.
10. Camels & Chocolate | June 5th, 2008 at 6:48 am
I think Jennie is a one-woman PR person for Veronica Mars. It’s also on my Netflix queue from her influence. If you’re looking for a sitcom to add to your TV viewing, you MUST WATCH 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother. You know, if you haven’t done so already.
11. Marie Green | June 5th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Wow , throwing a shower in a city where you are not IS a big, brave deal. Way to go!
Also, I’m trying to forget those high-waisted pants days, but to do so I have to avoid all early episodes of Friends.
Just wondering, did you also have the Jennifer Aniston hairdo? (I did and I LIKED it.)
12. Allison | June 5th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Throwing showers gives me diarrhea. That’s why I’m giving the same person a shower in July!
I hope you love Buffy.
13. Jen W. | June 5th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Um…I have seen every single episode of Charmed and Buffy. There. I said it. I watched Charmed on TNT (all what? 7 seasons?) and I missed the freaking final show ever because I had to do something called work, so I went to work and found the show on the internet, because stupid iTunes doesn’t carry it. So, I BOUGHT the last episode and downloaded onto some crappy player on my computer. THAT is how obsessed I got with that show. And I STILL watch it whenever I’m home. I watched all of Buffy from rented DVDs. Yes, it’s sad and weird. I know that, and I don’t care.
So, if you ever have any Charmed related questions on what happened, feel free to ask me.
14. Sara | June 5th, 2008 at 11:06 am
You are going to see a LOT MORE of the high waist/cropped shirt thing on Buffy. Of course, you are also going to see ENTIRE DRESSES made out of approximately half a napkin and worn with knee-high boots, so really — you’ve just got to kick back and appreciate it. Also, if you’re used to Sarah Michelle Gellar in her current “Nicholas Brendon ate all my flesh, that’s why I’m so skinny, REALLY IT’S NOT ANOREXIA” incarnation, you are in for a big (pleasant) shock.
I can’t wait until you actually start on Buffy; I love it when new people find the show (and write about it).
15. Leaf, probably... | June 5th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I’m glad I was too much of a fashion phobic to have known about that trend… I have enough guilt about the godawful bikepants/matching teeshirt combos I wore in the early 90′s.
16. Assertagirl | June 5th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I’ve tried to like cilantro but I just can’t.
Also, I love so very much that you’ve used the word “gunt” on your blog.
17. She Likes Purple | June 5th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
I sound so badass in this post! You don’t want to watch my favorite shows, you say? THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK. In all seriousness, you’re just lucky I don’t forward you YouTube fan videos and details on the VM cruise. Yet.
(You made me sound badass. I made myself sound slightly creepy.)
18. Carrie (in MN) | June 6th, 2008 at 5:23 am
Yoiu have a warm puppy in your pajamas? That just sounds wrong!
19. Kristin | June 6th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Whenever I get on a plane (frequently) I recite all the stats, the fact that so few people have died in turbulence, it’s so much safer than a car, etc, blah. That’s all bullshit. Vodka and a prayer is the only thing that works.
20. winterwheat | June 7th, 2008 at 5:04 am
http://www.gunt.de/static/s1_1.php
21. MsPrufrock | June 7th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Well, I think I’ve found my word of the week in “gunt”, so thank you. I’d previously only known of it in the form of the more vague term “fupa”, which is not nearly as fun. Gunt. Gunt. Gunt. Awesome.
22. TwoBusy | June 7th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Chiming in both late and irrelevant to say that when I first saw your post title, my brain misread/jumped to the conclusion of ‘Big Red Letter Day’ — which was a nice surprise, as I’d had no idea you were a Buffalo Tom fan.
Then I… uh… actually read it.
The end.
(crickets)
23. Swistle | June 7th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I had the high waisted SKIRT that ALSO went with my cropped top. Stylish.
Buffy: definitely worth it. Plus: lots more ’90s fashion.
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