I Will See You In Far Off Places

I don’t mean to be negative here — I mean, far be it from me to squash someone’s dreams or anything — but I fail to see a) the appeal of America’s Got Talent, because seriously, how can anyone care what David Hasselhoff thinks about anything, much less your TALENT; and b) if I hear ONE MORE TIME about the “inspirational” contestant for next week — an opera singer, surprise, surprise, who lost his voice and is now RAISING IT UP on America’s Got Talent, for chrissake — I might throw myself squarely out the window. I also don’t see how being freakishly flexible is a TALENT. So you can put your feet behind your ears and lick your own ass. BIG DEAL.

I also don’t understand sprinkles – jimmies, if you’re in New England — and I only bring this up, because a multitude of you mentioned it during last week’s cake batter ice cream discussion, and I have to ask: What’s the appeal? It’s a teeny waxy thing that brings NO FLAVOR. NO FLAVOR AT ALL. I was also perplexed by those of you who mentioned its place in cake batter ice cream, because when was the last time you got sprinkles in cake? (Note: am not talking about chocolate crunchies in ice cream cakes, for those are heavenly, and I don’t know why.) I’m saying it: down with sprinkles, especially the rainbow variety. BLEAH.

Incidentally, we finally decided on a trip for our fifth anniversary later this summer, after literally booking and canceling at least three separate trips all over the country and, in some cases, OUTSIDE the country. I never thought I’d miss anything about Florida, but I DO miss the vast availability of a variety of relaxing spas within driving distance. We went on a fair amount of weekend getaways, each lovelier than the previous and while New England is full of idyllic pastoral vacations, I, uh, live in Vermont. I know this makes me spoiled, but my whole life is one big bucolic vacation, complete with old farmhouse, quaint small town, nearby swimming holes and ample antiquing. And for a host of reasons, not the least of which is that Burlington airport isn’t exactly rife with direct flights to exotic locations — as in, anywhere we went other than Boston or Cincinnati would add a FULL DAY to our travel — we wanted to drive. And also, did I mention I wanted a spa?

So ah, we’re headed to Canada! We’re starting in Montreal — a mere two-hour drive! — to start with a very soothing stay at a spa and later, perhaps hitting Quebec City, Mont Tremblant and maaaybe Toronto and points elsewhere in the wilds of Quebec and Ontario. And I’ll gleefully take suggestions from eastern Canadians.

Incidentally, in proof that I choose my battles poorly, I fought like hell to get Adam to take the dog out this morning, promising that I would take his afternoon shift. Ha HA. Guess who was SO SORRY SHE DID THAT when it was pouring down rain all afternoon and evening? Also, wore the most pathetic raincoat ever, that did nothing but absorb the water, leaving me more waterlogged than our kitchen sponge? Yes, those extra five minutes in bed were totally worth it.

Happy Monday! I’m about to pass out in a puddle of my own drool, and I sincerely hope I don’t drown in it.

*Morrissey. Plus, those far off places really aren’t so far at all.

37 comments July 13th, 2008