Somebody

Well, somebody other than me, that is, for today anyway. I loved -R-’s blogshare idea the last few times she did it, and read some of the best posts I’d ever seen on the Internet as a result. The basic idea is that we all post anonymously on each other’s blogs — again, ANONYMOUSLY — sometimes to share something we can’t on our own, sometimes just for fun. Last time, one of the participants, swear to God, included a hilarious tale of a woman who visited the Hedonism resort and held TWO PENISES AT THE SAME TIME. While I can’t promise you that you’ll read about the joys of multiple wieners, I do bring you a lovely guest post by an anonymous visitor. Enjoy!

Oh! And if you want to read the rest of the participants, -R-’s got the whole list here.

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For women I think it is inherent that we will have drama with our friends at some point in our lives. It just seems like a natural part of growing up. Throughout the stages of our lives, we go through different sets of friends. Some stay around for the long haul, some stay for a bit and serve a certain purpose and some leave our lives faster than they came in.

Right now I’m having some friend drama. This Blog Share post came around at the PERFECT time because I cannot write about this on my own site because she reads. Well, she doesn’t now because I blocked her IP address. (More on that later.)

Anyway, this is a friend I’ve had since high school. We actually met in the eighth grade, but we weren’t really friends. She sat behind me in English and I made fun of her because she was new and because the boy I liked in eighth grade made fun of her. (Isn’t adolescence such a fun time?)

In high school, we both joined the marching band and started having a lot of similar classes and we became friends. Her house was the house our tight-knit group of friends spent a lot of weekend nights being silly, watching movies and doing typical high school nerdy stuff. (I was a total square and didn’t drink or party until college.)

We lost touch in college. I moved away. I was the only one from the group to move away. And then I stayed away for 10 years. I built a new life 3,000 miles away and rarely came home to visit. When I moved back home in 2005, I was a different person than the 17-year old kid I was when I graduated high school.

We picked up right where we left off 10 years earlier when I moved back. I didn’t know anyone else really, so it may have been a friendship out of convenience more than anything at first. But it was nice being in touch with her again and it made the trials of moving 3,000 miles back home a little less daunting.

But lately, things have been bad. They hit a head last week when we got into an argument over email. (I know, never a good idea.) The problem was that her anger stemmed from a seemingly innocent comment that I made about the book The Secret. Turns out though, I touched a nerve and she had basically been mad at me for months about things I had said to her in the past. On top of it, she told me she had been questioning our friendship since February. IT IS JULY! Maybe mention this to me IN FEBRUARY!

The problem is that she turned this on me and made me feel like a bad friend. And that is what upsets me the most. I am a good friend. And I am not a bad person. I am who I am and I’m not going to apologize for it. It’s taken me 30 years to like who I am and I am not going to change that or regress back into high school.

I’m not sure what to do. I feel like a true friend wouldn’t do this to you. I also feel like if there were issues there, she’s got to discuss them with me. She’s a licensed therapist, she should KNOW THIS. I am not a mind reader and just because I don’t hear from you, that doesn’t mean I know that you’re mad at me for something. Especially when you are still reading my blog and commenting. (That’s why I blocked her. If I’m such a bad friend and you want nothing to do with me, then why are you still reading? I don’t think you get the right to be in that part of my life then.) (Yes, I know this is childish.)

The fact is I haven’t talked to her in awhile. I don’t feel like life is all that different without her in it, nor do I really miss the friendship. If that had been the case, I think I would be more upset about recent events. I know I will end up making up with her because we share mutual friends and I AM a good person and a good friend.

But I’m not really sure it is worth it. And that I won’t be going through this same crap with her in few months down the road.

*Depeche Mode. And I picked it, the writer didn’t.

23 comments July 15th, 2008