Comments on: Somebody http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/ I think the only people who see this are RSS peeps. Hi, RSS peeps! Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:22:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: houndrat http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10195 houndrat Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:21:04 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10195 Argh. Why is it that men never have these issues with friendship? Especially when it comes to involving the book, "The Secret?" Argh. Why is it that men never have these issues with friendship? Especially when it comes to involving the book, “The Secret?”

]]> By: Leane http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10194 Leane Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:10:56 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10194 P.S. You missed seeing Barenaked Ladies frontman Steven Page while you were up here!! (Or over here?) anyway he was arrested for having coke..and he was visiting some girls in Manlius at the time. P.S. You missed seeing Barenaked Ladies frontman Steven Page while you were up here!! (Or over here?) anyway he was arrested for having coke..and he was visiting some girls in Manlius at the time.

]]> By: Leane http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10193 Leane Wed, 16 Jul 2008 23:52:48 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10193 Sometimes we're friends with people who are "comfortable" from our past..but in reality--they aren't the "People" we would pick now at our current age..that's hard..but i do agree..life is too short --and if she isn't a grownup in the way that you're a grownup..maybe it's run it's course. Sometimes we’re friends with people who are “comfortable” from our past..but in reality–they aren’t the “People” we would pick now at our current age..that’s hard..but i do agree..life is too short –and if she isn’t a grownup in the way that you’re a grownup..maybe it’s run it’s course.

]]> By: courtney http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10192 courtney Wed, 16 Jul 2008 23:15:40 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10192 Sorry you're going through this. Friend drama is the worst. Are you sure all this is JUST because you made a comment about The Secret? Does she really take the book that seriously? Or is it a front for something bigger going on? If you really want to repair the friendship, my advice to you is to find out. Good luck! Sorry you’re going through this. Friend drama is the worst.

Are you sure all this is JUST because you made a comment about The Secret? Does she really take the book that seriously? Or is it a front for something bigger going on? If you really want to repair the friendship, my advice to you is to find out. Good luck!

]]> By: Katie http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10191 Katie Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:26:08 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10191 Okay. I'm a therapist, and we are the screwiest lot of people you'll ever meet. Please understand that because we're trained to deconstruct other people's lives and help them navigate the rubble doesn't mean we always know exactly what to do, or even have the courage to do what needs to be done in our own lives. We try, but we're not perfect. If she's been questioning your friendship since February, but is just now mentioning it, it is probably because she began having that nagging sense of things gone wrong, but thought it was just her, and thought it would go away. She likely thought it was a phase or PMS or whatever...a million things. She didn't say anything before now for the same reason people wait too long to go to the doctor - they think it'll blow over. This hasn't. I 100% get you when you say it's taken you 30 years to dig yourself. Wellbeing is worth a million dollars. Don't give it up for anyone. The fact is, you're both probably really nice, good people. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been friends with one another for so long. She continues to read your blog because she still cares about you, regardless of how insulting she has been regarding your friendship skills, she still cares. This sounds like a case of a friendship running its course. The end of a friendship is awkward. How do you get a friendship to comfortably fade into the sunset? I've never been able to manage it. There's always been hurt feelings. Good luck! Okay. I’m a therapist, and we are the screwiest lot of people you’ll ever meet.

Please understand that because we’re trained to deconstruct other people’s lives and help them navigate the rubble doesn’t mean we always know exactly what to do, or even have the courage to do what needs to be done in our own lives. We try, but we’re not perfect.

If she’s been questioning your friendship since February, but is just now mentioning it, it is probably because she began having that nagging sense of things gone wrong, but thought it was just her, and thought it would go away. She likely thought it was a phase or PMS or whatever…a million things. She didn’t say anything before now for the same reason people wait too long to go to the doctor – they think it’ll blow over. This hasn’t.

I 100% get you when you say it’s taken you 30 years to dig yourself. Wellbeing is worth a million dollars. Don’t give it up for anyone.

The fact is, you’re both probably really nice, good people. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been friends with one another for so long.

She continues to read your blog because she still cares about you, regardless of how insulting she has been regarding your friendship skills, she still cares.

This sounds like a case of a friendship running its course. The end of a friendship is awkward.

How do you get a friendship to comfortably fade into the sunset? I’ve never been able to manage it. There’s always been hurt feelings.

Good luck!

]]> By: Noelle http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10190 Noelle Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:06:33 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10190 I've recently broken up with a friend, and I don't know why. It's so much sadder than any other breakup I know. I’ve recently broken up with a friend, and I don’t know why. It’s so much sadder than any other breakup I know.

]]> By: Rhea http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10189 Rhea Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:42:38 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10189 I've had similar problems with the convenience of lifelong friendships. Lately I have decided that friendship means forgiveness. Sometimes a lot of it. Other times the ship needs to sink. And I like heidikins procedure too. I’ve had similar problems with the convenience of lifelong friendships. Lately I have decided that friendship means forgiveness. Sometimes a lot of it. Other times the ship needs to sink.

And I like heidikins procedure too.

]]> By: Pants http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10188 Pants Wed, 16 Jul 2008 15:48:46 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10188 Funny you should mention this...I once had an argument with a friend over The Secret! It stemmed from an old news story that criticized The Secret for contributing to victim blaming. Eh. I am sorry that you are going through this experience with your friend. I have come to realize that I don't have to be everyone's friend. Especially if they are emotionally handicapped and suffer from the inability to express their feelings (especially if their profession is to help others do so!). Life is too short to expend energy into friendships that are not worth the energy. Life is busy, this may seem harsh, but who wants to put precious time and effort into relationships when they can be fostering genuine friendships with others? Funny you should mention this…I once had an argument with a friend over The Secret! It stemmed from an old news story that criticized The Secret for contributing to victim blaming. Eh.

I am sorry that you are going through this experience with your friend. I have come to realize that I don’t have to be everyone’s friend. Especially if they are emotionally handicapped and suffer from the inability to express their feelings (especially if their profession is to help others do so!). Life is too short to expend energy into friendships that are not worth the energy. Life is busy, this may seem harsh, but who wants to put precious time and effort into relationships when they can be fostering genuine friendships with others?

]]> By: Lara http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10187 Lara Wed, 16 Jul 2008 15:36:00 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10187 Oh my gosh! Are you me? (Except 2 years younger and also going through this six months later?)??? Seriously, I had such a similar experience very recently, and a girl that I thought was one of my top 2 friends hasn't spoken with me since January, when I didn't realize she was ignoring me because she was mad at me for not visiting her new baby enough. ARGH! If you're mad, TELL ME SO! And don't f-ing accuse me of being a bad friend!!! I am so sorry that you are going through this. BIG HUGS from an internet stranger. Oh my gosh! Are you me? (Except 2 years younger and also going through this six months later?)??? Seriously, I had such a similar experience very recently, and a girl that I thought was one of my top 2 friends hasn’t spoken with me since January, when I didn’t realize she was ignoring me because she was mad at me for not visiting her new baby enough.

ARGH! If you’re mad, TELL ME SO! And don’t f-ing accuse me of being a bad friend!!!

I am so sorry that you are going through this. BIG HUGS from an internet stranger.

]]> By: Allie http://www.jonniker.com/2008/07/15/somebody/comment-page-1/#comment-10186 Allie Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:17:38 +0000 http://www.jonniker.com/?p=561#comment-10186 Oh, I do think everyone goes through this in one way or another. It sucks so bad. But you're right -- a real friend wouldn't treat you that way. Oh, I do think everyone goes through this in one way or another. It sucks so bad. But you’re right — a real friend wouldn’t treat you that way.

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