Fly Me Away
July 29th, 2008
Hola! Greetings from what has surprisingly turned into the Busiest Summer Ever. I hate that we’ve become the couple who is never home, but here we are! Never home! This never-homedness has resulted in a classic case of my old friend The Herp Lip. Oh, Herp. I’ve missed you so.
By the way, no sooner had I announced that I’m only seeing dead centipedes, did I find approximately eleventy million LIVE CENTIPEDES, scurrying about like tiny little mice with their hairy … well. That’s enough, I think, of the hairy centipede-talk, but the point is that they LIVE and are ALIVE and are not eating very many insects, despite that being their purported benefit, for I’m seeing plenty of OTHER insects, including a fly population that I killed off one by one last week. A fly population that sent me into fits, because oh my God, what if they are the MAGGOT OFFSPRING? What THEN? (Will likely kill myself. That’s what, then. It’s been nice knowing you all.)
Oh dear. Vermont is very buggy, and I wasn’t expecting it and I now realize that above all things, I am a pansy. Send reinforcements.
It’s funny — we’re heading on vacation very soon, and yet I can’t help but feel like I haven’t been home at all lately, so what am I leaving home for? Oh yes, RELAXATION. Oh ha ha. And although everyone I love is coming with me on vacation (yes, even the dog), I feel guilty, like our house is going to miss us and cry giant creaky tears because we’re not in it. A classic case of benign neglect.
It also speaks volumes that the biggest thing I’m looking forward to about vacation is the availability of poutine. I LOVE poutine, drunk or not and have done an embarrassing amount of research to determine who makes the best poutine and how close it is to where we’re staying. This is all so utterly ridiculous, as I’m talking about glorified GRAVY FRIES, but that is in no way stopping me, because I take my gravy fries (WITH CHEESE CURDS) very seriously.
Aaand, I’ve got a project to finish before I go to bed, despite being SO TIRED, so I’m afraid our (very lame) time is up, but not before sharing two things that have been occupying my time in the wee moments before sleep for DAYS:
1) I know people think that bloggers are exhibitionists, but that doesn’t mean I understand people who go on reality TV, specifically the foulest of (delicious) reality TV such as Big Brother. Who, no really, WHO, does such a thing? I’m trying to envision a scenario that I would willingly sign up for a reality show and … I can’t think of any. Not even if it were for $10M. Uh, could you?
2) Retaliatory judgment. I’m not clear why it’s okay to make personal attacks on someone you feel is judging you. Yes, maybe they were being an asshole, but why does that mean YOU have to be an asshole to THEM? For countless examples of this, one needs only to read endless strings of comments on ParentDish (Land of the Thousand Nutbags!), specifically those surrounding the WAHM/SAHM debate. I mean, that’s not the ONLY example of such behavior, nor is it one I REMOTELY feel like rehashing (SO NOT THE POINT) but it’s the most obvious I can think of at the moment.
Happy Wednesday!
*Goldfrapp
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
29 Comments Add your own
1. slynnro | July 29th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
I JUST wrote a post on centipedes. You should definitely read it.
And yeah, my husband and I have this debate about being on reality shows every freaking time we watch one. Because being on one is my worst nightmare and he would agree to be on any of them. Thank god he is too old for the Real World.
2. Swistle | July 29th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
For $10M? Hmmmmmm….. But not for the CHANCE of $10M. It would have to be literally a check for $10M, payable to ME at the end of the show, which would need to be SHORTISH.
3. Jenk | July 29th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Hmmm. Nope. I wouldn’t do a reality show. I wouldn’t even do a game show. Too chancy. I’m not sure who the people are that do reality television but I suspect that they are needy. Very needy.
Enjoy your time away from home! Do you ever think your house is happy to have a few minutes to itself? I think my house is fabulously happy when I finally take my kids out of it and into town. It needs a break from the ruckus they cause. Poor old house.
4. Camels & Chocolate | July 29th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I was just about to say, Slynnro blogged about centipedes! But then she beat me to it.
I so know how you feel, though. I think I’ve been at my house in SF a total of 10 days in the past 3-4 months, and the upcoming Aug-Nov are the busiest of them all! It’s no surprise then that my “vacation time” is spent staying at home or flying to my parents’ house in TN.
Happy travels!
5. Kirsten | July 30th, 2008 at 2:49 am
You wrote about poutine. You are now my hero. Please send poutine to Alaska. No one here knows what it is. I’m having withdrawls.
6. TwoBusy | July 30th, 2008 at 5:40 am
Not to be gauche or jejune (heaven forbid), but I can’t see the word “curds” without thinking of a cross between curdled milk and turds. Which is why I will never, ever, ever eat them.
7. ali | July 30th, 2008 at 5:43 am
i’ve lived in canada for 11 years and have NEVER had poutine!
8. anne | July 30th, 2008 at 5:55 am
Yum, yum, yum, yum POUTINE. Please pack some up and ship to Florida. I have no doubt it would withstand the heat and travel nicely.
9. Jen E | July 30th, 2008 at 6:26 am
You know I think about retalitory judgement all the time and how dumb it is (except of course I’ve never called it that, because I’m not that smart – I just say like, “how can you be like, “Don’t judge me you STUPID person who JUDGES followed by other horrible offensive remarks that are terribly judgemental”") and the SAHM / WAHM thing is the perfect example – also nursing mom / bottle feeding mom. Why can’t we all just get along?? WHY??
10. Sadie | July 30th, 2008 at 6:33 am
I…I have never had poutine. Or cheese curds. And I know they both have lots of ardent fans but the words just…don’t *sound* appetizing to me. I need more information.
Reality shows: not in the least an appealing idea to me, but I confess it still hurt my feelings when, while watching Survivor, my ex declared “you would SO be the first one voted off an island.”
11. She Likes Purple | July 30th, 2008 at 6:34 am
I would actually love to be on The Amazing Race.
12. -R- | July 30th, 2008 at 7:12 am
I have never heard of poutine before. I NEVER would have guessed it was a type of french fry meal.
I do not understand how people who go on reality tv shows ever get jobs. Especially the people who go on reality tv shows and demonstrate how STUPID they are.
I love comments like, “How dare you judge me for [making decision X]! Everyone is entitled to make their own decision on this subject! And you are horrible for deciding to [do the opposite of X]!”
13. Lily | July 30th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Oh Poutine! Wait.. I know where the best poutine is in Montreal! I live in the land of poutine!!
There is a restaurant called La Banquise (994 Rachel Est), their poutine is amazing. They have a poutine menu! Last time I went I had a bacon, sausage, hamburg poutine… drroooool. They also have regular poutine!
The best poutine in town is probably at AA in Saint Henri, but you would need to take a metro (Saint Henri station) to get there. It’s an old, dirty diner style place with the same two customers always sitting at counter. If you ask the owner, he INVENTED the poutine. It might be true, he looks like he’s 100.
Hope you have fun!
14. jonniker | July 30th, 2008 at 7:38 am
LA BANQUISE. YES. I researched it and found that it’s my number one go-to place for poutine. POUTINE WITH BACON. YES.
15. Kristin H | July 30th, 2008 at 7:47 am
How is it that I have gone 36 years and never heard of poutine? I must admit that when I first read the word I was thinking something delightfully light, possibly involving crepes and whipped cream. Clearly I need to get out more. And also? Surely the Wikipedia picture isn’t doing it justice. Right? Right?
I have to stay away from slander matches like they have on ParentDish. Reading that kind of stuff makes me feel dirty, no lie.
16. H | July 30th, 2008 at 7:49 am
I learn something every time I read your blog. How can I live so close to Canada, visit there fairly often, and not know what poutine is? I must find out. It appears to involve french fries, so it must be good.
I would never ever be on a reality show because I would not want to see or hear myself. I can’t stand seeing or hearing myself on a home video so hours and hours of TV footage would drive me over the edge. Also, the editing, the humiliation, etc. just wouldn’t be worth any amount of money.
17. Jess | July 30th, 2008 at 8:33 am
I just read three posts IN A ROW about centipedes. I’m sorry, but I have to go throw up now. What is WITH everyone today?
18. Christine | July 30th, 2008 at 9:01 am
I hate house centipedes. Sounds to me like Cat hasn’t been doing his job. Lazy. (For the record, Ninja is good to alerting the house to a bug, by chasing it, but sucks at dispatching it.)
Also, my goodness, I had never heard of poutine! But now I feel like I have to go to Canada to partake. (In the good ol’ Jerz we had cheese fries with gravy known as “Disco Fries” Now I’ll have to check if Wikipedia has a page on that.)
19. Lawyerish | July 30th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Would it be possible for you to ship me some poutine? Preferably the kind with bacon? I AM DYING TO TRY IT. French fries and gravy and cheese OMG.
20. houndrat | July 30th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I think I’d take Big Brother over that one where they strap you to a lie detector and then humiliate you in front of everyone you’ve ever known, including your fifth grade teacher and husband’s mom. Shudder.
And I just don’t get the whole SAHM/working mom feud. My personal opinion is that whichever course you choose, you end up guilt-laden for one reason or another, be it not being there for your kids or not contributing financially. So, I advocate we all pop open some beers and commiserate together.
21. Danell | July 30th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
oh dear. i’ve never heard of poutine, either. and CLEARLY, i would not know how to say it, because when i read it, in my head i hear something WAY TOO CLOSE to “poontang.” which, i totally swear is not a word, i ever use.
anything involving french fries and gravy sounds frickin’ spectacular, though. just….maybe called “french fries and gravy”
22. Shana | July 30th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
You want to know why the SAHM/working-mom thing is so tense? Because the decision about how to raise her children is just about the most personal decision a women can make, and just about the worst thing you can say to a mother is “you’re a shitty mother.” It’s like insulting someone’s mama, only more so. Like harassing a boy’s little sister. One of those universal incendiaries.
That said, it’s B.S. Who cares what anybody else does? Some people really are just rude busybodies.
23. Shana | July 30th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
P.S. Poutine? This vegetarian says OMG GROSS. I mean, bugs are gross, but gravy’s nearly as bad. *shudder*
So now that you’ve grossed me out, I’ll return the favor. I cleaned my garage this past weekend, and found a couple of old scrubbrushes with dirt, grime, HAIR, AND BUGS stuck in the bristles. Yes, they’re still usable. Yes, I will clean them up. Yes, I want desperately to throw them away, and yes, I will gag heartily as I’m de-grossing them. I don’t know why, but there is little that grosses me out more than a grody cleaning accessory.
24. jonniker | July 30th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Shana, I only meant the people who are all, “Are you JUDGING ME? How dare you! And who are YOU to judge ME, when you’re a [insert insult here]?” I didn’t mean to remotely open The Debate, which makes me very, very tired.
25. Shana | July 30th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Oh, I know. I run screaming anytime it comes up, because it’s so utterly pointless. I just mean that when a woman’s judged on something so personal, it’s fairly standard to see her respond in a not-so-nice way.
I wonder what it IS that makes women pull the gloves off and judge each other like that? Men don’t do it. Insecurity? Eh. Have tried to figure it out before, when hearing that “women are bitches” once again, but never some up with any answers. Maybe just the old cutting each other down as competition for mates.
26. Heather B. | July 30th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
ParentDish, man! ParentDish. Those people kill me with their constant stupidity and just when you think that oh, they might be finished, there’s just a sprinkling of idiocy on top. They just need to get laid.
27. Kerri Anne | July 31st, 2008 at 9:21 am
I once printed out the application form for Fear Factor, back when it was in its second season, I think. And then I realized that eating something horribly grotesque doesn’t have anything to do with fear, but does have to do with gag factor, which for me has never been a strong point. Thus, I promptly proceeded to throw the application in the nearest garbage. And make merry about the fact that I will never have to choose between $50,000 and eating cow bladders.
28. Kristabella | July 31st, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I do not understand why anyone goes on Big Brother. Especially since you know there is NO TV and you might be eating slop. But yet I continue to watch those idiots.
29. Mauigirl52 | July 31st, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Being born and bred in New Jersey I didn’t know what poutine is (you probably explained it previously but it had slipped my mind). So I looked on the Interwebs and found this site which you may enjoy perusing!
Have a great vacation!
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