Say Hello, Wave Goodbye
August 28th, 2008
Well, it’s not a puppy or a cricket — it IS, in fact, an actual baby with actual baby-like appendages and fingers and toes and I’m reluctant to say this, as it sounds so sappy and mom sell-out-type talk, but it was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen in my whole life. Call me stupid, but I didn’t know that babies moved so much at that stage. S/he was sleeping at first and then … oh, and then! There was moving and stretching and arm-waving and so! much! wiggling! that I burst into tears and heaved silently for a moment until the technician told me to breathe, oh my God, BREATHE. This is a major improvement over the last ultrasound, when the doctor said, “That’s your baby!” and I said, “Eh?” because it may as well have been my kidneys we were looking at. No, I’m sorry, I take it back: my kidneys would have been more exciting and probably more baby-like. I believe I then tried to cover my disappointment with, “Well, get the hell out of here! Nifty!” So convincing. Also, nifty?
Anyway, this ultrasound also included a 4D component, which was so cool and so unexpected, even if the baby looked more like Skeletor on it than on the 2D. (Adam: “You kind of uh, see too much there.” Me: “Ew, is that the placenta?”) The ultrasound chick said she could make a pretty good guess as to the sex of the kid, but the little rugrat REFUSED to uncross its legs, no matter how many times we jiggled and poked and laughed. He mocked us. I do, however, have a head-on shot of the uh, cheeseburger and/or twig & berries — three dots, which could be either a clitoris and two, uh, labial lips (I AM SO SORRY, DARLING BABY, THAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOUR MAYBE CLITORIS AND LABIA) or a penis and two testicles. You know, one or the other. When Adam scans them in, I’ll post for your perusal, because to me, it screams BOYPARTS, but you know, she’s a professional, so whatever, we’ll go with her and her vague “Uh, no idea?” unless you have a better one.
Anyway, despite the fact that I’m still puking every night, I can honestly say I’ve never been more excited for anything in my whole life, and seeing that little thing in there changed me in a way that I can’t even describe. I am … I am a little embarrassed about this, because HELLO, I AM A CLICHE, but man. Nothing beats seeing my baby waving and kicking and getting pissed off at us for poking at it with an ultrasound wand. Nothing.
(CHEESY CLICHED PREGNANT LADY. HOW EMBARRASSING.)
In other, entirely unrelated news, there are few things in life that would improve my daily comfort than the ability to burp. I never burp — literally, I probably burp once or twice a QUARTER, if that — and I am so envious of easy burpers. You know, the people who just let loose with a good old BELCH that sounds like it FEELS SO GOOD and yes, I know it’s gross. Whatever. I’m jealous. My ability to fart on command is totally pale in comparison. Any attempt I’ve ever made to burp myself results in a lot of awkward hacking and the occasional gag. WTF?
We have no plans this holiday weekend, instead traveling the weekend AFTER to Syracuse for the premiere of the Ernie Davis biopic, The Express. (For those not familiar, Adam and I both went there, and my brother-in-law teaches there and works with the athletic department). Anyway, this event is, uh, formal and all Hollywood-like. Which is totally what every kegger-like early second trimester pregnant woman wants, the occasion to get all dolled up and rub elbows with B-listers while looking like she swallowed the contents of a Krispy Kreme franchise. I mean, I’m looking forward to it (and the Penn State game the next day), but still. I’m not looking forward to being the drunk-looking girl heaving in the bathroom in an ill-fitting cocktail dress, as I’m so not Jessica Alba.
It’s perhaps worth noting that the last formal-ish event I attended was my nephew’s wedding, where I was outed TO THE WHOLE WEDDING that I was seven weeks’ pregnant because I got caught throwing up behind the oh-so-stinky tires of my car in front of the entire smoking contingent at the reception, after being too afraid to puke in the bathroom and ruin the guests’ experience. I may not be Jessica Alba, but don’t say you can’t take me anywhere.
Have a great long weekend, y’all.
*David Gray
26 Comments Add your own
1. H | August 28th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
How exciting! Sounds like you’ve got a stubborn one on your hands already. Baby, uncross your legs and let us know who you are! I wish they had 2D, 3D or 4D technology back when I had my kids. I’ve seen my sister-in-law’s ultrasound pics and that is SO cool. (Oh, gotta go watch Obama. This is HISTORY!)
2. willikat | August 28th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
I can’t burp either!!!! I have never once had a satisfying burp.
Don’t feel cliche. I think ultrasounds are amazing, and I have never been pregnant.
3. TwoBusy | August 28th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Tragically, as a pregnant lady – and yes, I’m still hoping there’s a puppy in there, too – you’re generally denied the one sure-fire burp generator in these United States: beer. If a coupla big gulps of something carbonated and alcoholic can’t help you put together a window-shaker… well, there’s just no hope for you.
4. Jen | August 28th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Yay for wiggling and waving babies! Can’t wait to see the scan so we can give you our “expert” opinion on his or her bits. I, for one, hope you’re having a boy, so our lives can be even more parallel.
Also, unrelated, that’s one of my favorite David Gray songs.
5. Mandee | August 28th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I have the exact same gas expulsion issues. No one can understand it and many, many burp technique lessons have failed.
Glad that the ultrasound was fun!
6. Elizabeth | August 28th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Aw, I’m so happy for you! The sappy and excited pregnant moments are the best.
7. Leah | August 28th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Sounds like the cliche pregnant lady needs a pickle. That should help with the burping too.
8. Suebob | August 28th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Don’t be embarrassed. That IS probably the coolest thing you will ever see, except for maybe for the first time you see him/her on the outside.
Even me, the cranky old baby-hater, got all flabbergasted and amazed when I went to get my boob ultrasounded and the tech had her “greatest hits” pics up – two tiny feet! A little face! And those weren’t even MY babies. So I can only begin to imagine.
9. anne | August 28th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Guess this shouldn’t be a surprise – can’t and don’t burp either. Once I think I did. But I am still not sure. Well I guess I can take yours as an indication of what a pregnancy will be for me as a girl with a *lovely* GI tract.
10. Sadie | August 29th, 2008 at 5:02 am
awww not cheesy – exciting! You got to see that it’s a real baby in there, not just a nebulous quease-inducing blob. Oh, and now you get to see what a fetus made entirely of chicken McNuggets looks like, so there’s that.
I don’t burp often either, but you’re right – on the rare occasion that I do, it feels great. Like now you have room to eat more!
11. slynnro | August 29th, 2008 at 5:38 am
It takes an act of congress for me to burp. I thought I was the only one!
12. Jamie | August 29th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Embrace the sap, dude. I am so happy for you guys! This baby will be so undoubtedly loved and cherished!
13. She Likes Purple | August 29th, 2008 at 6:25 am
Totally not embarrassing. But so damn cool.
14. Shelly | August 29th, 2008 at 8:33 am
Don’t be embarrassed at all. It really is one of the coolest things ever. Your very first glimpses of your little one. Congrats. Oh, and try root beer for help burping.
15. elise | August 29th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Did Jessica Alba end up pregnant, looking drunk, puking at a party? How did I miss those pictures?
Plus, anytime you are compared in looks to Jessica Alba, I think it might be tolerable. I mean, I’d probably be okay with it, if you see me puking sometime but say “you looked a lot like Jessica with that puke. I think it would make me feel better.
16. jonniker | August 29th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
HA, no. Jessica Alba looked PERFECT throughout her whole pregnancy. Don’t you remember? She was red-carpet ready THE ENTIRE TIME.
I am not. I am PUKEY.
17. E | August 29th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
So Im just catching up on your latest posts (er, I should say from the past month)…and I can NOT believe it! Congratulations!!! I’m so happy for you. Tell Adam I said the same….and don’t be a stranger.
Love & miss you babe
18. the new girl | August 29th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I know you think that you sound cliche but there’s a reason that those things/feelings WHATEVER are a cliche.
I remember those ultrasounds and the thrill, oh the THRILL of seeing that little girl whirl and twirl around in there. My husband called her a crazy little baby and I’m telling you, it was the ONLY part of that pregnancy that I liked.
19. Anyabeth | August 29th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Aw, man everyone becomes a cliche at the ultrasound. There is something that is a relief about not seeing any fins or anything. I cried at mine and then almost burst into flames from the shame.
20. Stacy | August 29th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Yeah, that first sono is awesome!
I’d put money on your burp-abilities improving ten fold by week 30!
21. Emily | August 30th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Dave’s best friend grew up in Syracuse, so we went there a few years ago for a football game, and we met his family, which included his older brother, who was teaching his 5 year old daughter how to ride a bike. And the brother was wearing a t-shirt that said, “PUNK ASS BITCH.” I thought that was odd, but Dave’s friend still wanted to spend time with his family, so we dropped him off and went to the floating mall.
WHICH DID NOT ACTUALLY FLOAT. Apparently it was built on a swamp, not a harbor or something, and that’s why there were no gangplanks or anything. DISAPPOINTING.
Anyway. Hoorah! For the baby! With parts and everything!
22. Beth | August 31st, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Without a doubt, those first few glimpses of your first baby are some of the absolute high points of life.
23. Kristabella | September 2nd, 2008 at 5:16 pm
This was such a cute post. I love reading these posts from people like you who are pregnant for the first time and experiencing things and are just so cute and loving! (That totally made me sound like a crazy pregnant lady stalker, didn’t it?)
24. Shutter Bitch | September 3rd, 2008 at 6:21 am
Just wait until the baby’s born. Cliché hell. Oh, and heaven. Because BABY FEET!
25. Free Granny Porn Milf Ana&hellip | November 17th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Free Granny Porn Milf Anal Free Mature Porn…
I can not agree with you in 100% regarding some thoughts, but you got good point of view…
26. Recent Links Tagged With &hellip | January 28th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
[...] on Wed 21-1-2009 Tinklenberg Write Now Posted Saved by mediapoliticsandtruth on Wed 21-1-2009 Say Hello, Wave Goodbye Saved by NoHoGirls on Fri 16-1-2009 Step in the name of loveee Saved by euroskip on Fri 09-1-2009 [...]
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed