Suckling the Mender
September 18th, 2008
Well! Based on your comments, it seems that maternity wear sucks no matter what your size or situation. This is strangely comforting, although I am perhaps more consoled by the fact that at least designers are making a half-assed attempt to make us look like normal people, rather than 1950′s farmer’s wives with a penchant for big bows and smocks. I will admit, however, that the tie in the back is a bit of a throwback to those days, and the only time people ever acknowledge that I’m pregnant is when I’m wearing a tie-back shirt. It’s the universal symbol of knockeduppedness, apparently, so if you wish to avoid the Pregnant or Just Fat? conundrum, just slap a tie around your back.
They should make stick-on versions for women who just want a little extra sympathy that day. Have some extra fiber, get yourself a little bloated and stick on a bow. No one will know you’re not four months along!
I had an extraordinarily ordinary day today — I did very little other than work and a few small errands, but it was one of the most amazing days I’ve had in ages, because THERE WAS NO PUKING. I ate! I had a delicious breakfast from Dunkin’ Donuts (TWO powdered jelly and a chai latte! TWO DONUTS) and I … I FUNCTIONED. Well, except for that hour mid-morning nap I took, thanks to the meds, but I’m not sure I can count that, because frankly, the Unisom/B6 combo is the only thing that enabled me to make it through the day, so who CARES about a measly nap, I say? WHO CARES? NAPS ARE FOR THE PREGNANT WHO WORK FROM HOME.
(Let me state for the record that that there statement makes me feel like a spoiled, spoiled ass. I KNOW I am lucky to work from home and be able to nap, believe me. It was, however, still only my third total. True story.)
This came as a most welcome respite after yesterday, which was quite possibly the worst day I’ve had this pregnancy so far. There was puking, there was what may be the end of the apple affair and there was an infinite amount of migraines, misery and woe. The sad truth is that I have to take the Faux Diclectin three times a day (the highest dose) in order to achieve Maximum Functionality and Minimum Crashing. By the way, my insurance did cave and will now approve Zofran, but at a 10-pill per month maximum, when you’re supposed to take it two to three times A DAY. A DAY. And I *think* the Diclectin’s working, so I’m saying thanks, but no thanks to that medicine to nowhere.
To continue this line of joy, it’s fall! It’s FALL out there, and the time for long sleeves is upon us. I spent some time this afternoon helping my neighbor cover her grapevines because tonight, we’re getting what I’m told will be a KILLING FROST. Do you know what that means? There is an end in sight of the stinky, smelly plants of summer and the endless wafting of cow manure. Come tomorrow, the world will be a little less horrifying. Soon there will be bonfires and crunchy leaves and then WINTER, when the WORLD WILL FREEZE AND STINK NO MORE.
Hyperosmia aside, I’m looking forward to fall and winter this year more than any other, perhaps because it will be the first full change of seasons since we left the land of eternal summer. I will also admit that my pregnancy automatically gives me a free pass on some of winter’s less than savory tasks, such as, like, for example, the shoveling and the scraping.
Also exciting? The new fall TV season, but most exciting of all is True Blood, which has already been re-upped for a second season. Oh, True Blood. I love you. I hate to admit this, but ever since I was wee, I have been a sucker for anything involving the words “vampire drama.” Anne Rice, apparently, had quite an impact on me and I read Interview with the Vampire in eighth grade, and yes, it scared the everloving shit out of me, and I do not recommend it for most 14 year olds. Next came an unhealthy obsession with Elizabeth Bathory and a bit of a crush on Gary Oldman as young Dracula (so creepy! so sexy!) and I’m kind of creeping myself out writing this, because do I sound like a weird kid or what? Highlander! Vampire obsessions! Oboe playing! Secret dabbling in paganism! I was one heartbeat away from a lifetime of excessive kohl eyeliner and spending every Wednesday at Vampire Night at Man-Ray in Central Square, Cambridge. Thank God for dodged, um, stakes and silver bullets.
Aand, on that embarrassing note, I’m off. I hope you have a great weekend.
*Cocteau Twins
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
28 Comments Add your own
1. Cami | September 18th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I am soexcited about True Blood, too! It is going to make my Sunday nights. I also read all the Anne Rice books. So, I am right with you there, sister!
2. Sadie | September 18th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
such as, like, for example, and such and such. Like, The Iraq.
Thank God and baby Jesus you had a normal (non-projectile-vomiting) day, and I hope it is just the beginning of the rest of the days which are normal, and such and such.
3. slynnro | September 18th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
I totally saw someone today in the black Gap dress you had up before. It was quite cute.
4. missbanshee | September 18th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
I spent FAR too many Wednesday nights at ManRay, “dancing” on the chain spiderweb, too drunk to climb back down. Ah, sweet, drunken memories…
5. Ang | September 18th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
I totally empathize with you on the maternity clothes! My girls are 5 & 7 – I struggled mostly with finding bras & underwear that were comfortable. I spent 2 hours after work one day trying on bras at a mall and didn’t buy anything! And I ended up with maternity bikini underwear because they went under the belly rather than the granny pants underwear.
And I’m so glad you were able to eat today. My pregnancy eating was not a problem (gained, um, 70 pounds with the first) but a close friend was on nausea meds – she was also only able to eat apples for quite a while. Best of luck!!
6. kirida | September 18th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I loved being pregnant during the colder months because all my hormones were heating up my body. I felt like I wasn’t menopausal for once. And why haven’t we seen photographic evidence of you in said maternity clothes? Fill in that blank for me.
7. Kristi | September 18th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I was obsessed, OBSESSED with Anne Rice when I was younger – for a while there I actually thought I’d move to New Orleans to live in all the places described in her books (and secretly hoped to meet vampires!)
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD take all the freakin’ naps you can cram in between now and baby’s arrival!!!! Heed this advice or be very, very sorry. Pregnancy is your one free pass on the naps (well, besides dementia) so take advantage woman!
8. Lippy | September 18th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Oh, Zofran and the insurance people. When I picked up my prescription, the tech informed me it was a “bit expensive”. $1600 for a month! I actually started crying. Then the pharmacist came over and figured out my insurance only covered up to $1000, so she gave me 2weeks worth so it would be covered. I loved her. I traded puking for nearly crippling headaches but I swear it was better. Glad you had a good day. Somehow cold weather really makes a person feel better. Of course, I live in the land of burning eternal hell. Nevada
9. claire | September 18th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Um. I’m wearing those tie-back empire waste shirts. People think i’m pregnant now, don’t they? Crappers. I thought they made me look thinner.
LOVING True Blood. I’ve always had a thing with vampire dramas, too. I was watching that show, Moonlight, too, until the bastards canceled it. How can you take away my vampire drama?! Yeah, vampires, viola, Highlander, paganism, blah, blah, blah. We’re all a little weird.
Hooray for no puking!
10. Amy K | September 18th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Ooh, True Blood? I’ll have to check that out. I haven’t watched a vampire show since…ahem…Forever Knight. Am total dork.
Glad the puking is getting better!
11. Jen | September 19th, 2008 at 4:42 am
Thank you for the reminder that there will be no shoveling for me this winter!! For some reason I never thought of that, and now I am a little more excited for the first snowstorm.
Woohoo for the two donut breakfast of champions! Glad you had a good day today.
12. Hillary | September 19th, 2008 at 5:12 am
Stop beating yourself up about the naps. As someone else said, NOW IS THE TIME. Trust me, even though I work outside of the home, I managed naps often during my pregnancy. My husband got used to coming home, finding me in the bedroom and fixing dinner while I finished my nap.
Glad to hear you’re not puking …
13. TwoBusy | September 19th, 2008 at 5:25 am
ManRay = high comedy.
14. Jess | September 19th, 2008 at 5:34 am
I have to say, I’m impressed that you moved from Florida to Vermont and yet you’re looking forward to winter. That’s a testament to how much you hate the smells of summer.
15. Gaby | September 19th, 2008 at 6:10 am
“so I’m saying thanks, but no thanks to that medicine to nowhere.”
BAHAHAHA! I love your writing style. And I totally heard that in the Palin accent (and although I loathe her positions, I am so intrigued by her voice inflections–I never knew Alaskans sounded so Midwestern. Is that Sarah-specific? Can anyone educate me on this? Can I STOP TALKING?! God.)
Have a great, unpukey weekend, Jonna!
16. Anyabeth | September 19th, 2008 at 6:38 am
I bet you can stretch the Zofran, find a mix that works. Anything to stop the pukies.
And stop apologizing for naps! There are *ahem* possible some people who were working full time who *maybe* fell asleep facing their computer more than once.
It takes energy to grow a baby. Even if you are nourished by donuts.
17. She Likes Purple | September 19th, 2008 at 6:48 am
I work full-time and have taken more pregnancy naps than one would imagine is possible.
Also, there is not a Dunkin Donuts anywhere NEAR me. I have to drive quite a ways to get a powdered jelly donut, and that sort of breaks my heart.
I’m so glad your insurance caved on Zofran. Mine started off with 12 a month, but I appealed and got 30 a month (STILL NOT ENOUGH, but better).
18. andrea | September 19th, 2008 at 7:18 am
I am not usually into drug trafficking online, but this pregnancy my insurance went a little crazy with the Zofran allotment (perhaps trying to make up for the 8 pill allotment last time around-which led to half a dozen hospitalizations) and I am certain I have at least 20 pills left. Happy to send them along to someone who needs them more than I do at this point.
19. jonniker | September 19th, 2008 at 7:29 am
On behalf of work-at-home people everywhere, I feel stupidly compelled to point out that working from home doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t working full-time. It just SOMETIMES means you can have more flexibility than you normally would if you aren’t in an office and don’t have people hunting you down, because you can do their work later, or during non-business hours. Plus, if you have multiple clients, they all don’t expect you every second of the day.
(I say this because often people assume that I’m totally free to do things like babysitting or taking full weeks off to help someone move or something because I work from home. Used to happen to Adam too, and I’m sure it happens to the rest of you.)
And oh, thank you for the Zofran offers, everyone! Really. I do appreciate it, but for the moment, I really do feel okay with the Unisom/B6 combo when taken as often as I’m taking it (WHICH IS OFTEN). It appears to be a hell of a lot better than the as-needed method I was employing before. (EPIC FAIL.)
Jess: I love winter usually, or I used to. I’m a cold-weather person, which is part of why moving to Florida in retrospect seems like the STUPIDEST IDEA we ever had.
20. H | September 19th, 2008 at 7:54 am
Fall is awesome, as a single season — but the oncoming winter makes me sort of dread it. Around here we have way too many months of winter. It is fun through, say, mid-January but getting through February, March and most of April (yes, APRIL!) is hell. Our wedding anniversary is April 26th and we have gotten snow storms, not just snow, snow STORMS, on our anniversary several times.
I hope you enjoy the season and are no longer tortured by the smells of summer. (I like the smell of burning stuff — leaves or whatever people are burning — in October.)
Also – I work at home, got very little sleep last night and if I can squeeze in a nap today, I will. Don’t feel guilty!
21. Rebecca (Bearca) | September 19th, 2008 at 8:44 am
I too love True Blood. LOVE. And I’ve never been remotely interested in anything vampire-related. But I love that vampire, and I love that his name is Bill.
Can’t wait for Sunday night.
22. Leah | September 19th, 2008 at 8:53 am
I also read Interview with a Vampire in eighth grade (because I wanted a boy to like me), and then i read it again in ninth grade and, get this, did a book report on it! For English class! I got docked points for an “overly extensive summary.” Clearly my teacher didn’t understand the importance of EVERY LAST DETAIL. I hated that teacher.
23. the new girl | September 19th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
I always have so many comments to your posts that I feel like I go on forever. How about a list with bullet points?
-the Zofran, medicine of gold, didn’t work for me.
-you should nap DAILY. You’re making another person in there and it is incredibly fatiguing (that and the unisom.)
-I am currently reading all of the Sookie Stackhouse stories by Charalalidogn Whatshernose. I like the books and the series looks promising, right?
-Winter smells GREAT when you’re pregnant.
-I’m sorry to hear about you and the apple. I never thought he was good enough for you anyway.
24. Style Bard | September 19th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Haha, wow, I actually find TB a little insulting to people who are fans of vampire movies and literature? Don’t make me start my rant, trust me, but Alan Ball says he is taking vampires to a *totally new place* where they fall in love and quest to stay in touch with humanity. How novel! What do Anne Rice fans think about THAT? Anyway, I’m giving the show a trial run right now but there are just so many eye-rolly parts!
And I, um, also might have gone to that Goth/Vampire night at Man-Ray the once. Did y’all know it’s closed now?
25. MsPrufrock | September 20th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I read Interview with a Vampire at 14 as well, but my still-vibrant love of Gary Oldman is completely independent of my teen interest in vampire hotness. I don’t care if he is almost as old as my Mom, I still think he’s sexy. Don’t even get me started on him as Rev Dimmesdale in The Scarlet Letter…
26. Camels & Chocolate | September 20th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Please tell me you read the books first (by Charlaine Harris). They are AMAZING and kick the ass of those sucky Twilight reads every day of the week and twice on Sunday. And I’m very pleased that the show follows the series nearly verbatim.
27. Christina Renee | September 22nd, 2008 at 7:11 am
Obsession with vampires, much? Me? Yes.
Excellent reading: The Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer. Four books about a girl who falls in love with a vampire and his vampire family. There’s werewolves involved, too. It’s generally in the young adult section of the library, but I devoured the first three books when I was bedridden after a miscarriage. The fourth was just released. Even if Camels & Chocolate thinks they’re sucky – I say give them a try.
~C.
28. jonniker | September 22nd, 2008 at 7:13 am
Christina: I read the Twilight series and was way into it for the first two, but by the third, I was TIRED OF IT. TIRED OF BELLA AND EDWARD. I didn’t love them, sadly. I also associate them with horrid nausea, as I read them in early pregnancy.
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