Archive for September 28th, 2008

Pumpkin Soup

Oh dear. First of all, thank you so much for all the soup recipes, both here and e-mailed. I am officially ready for soup, and this week, plan to make at least one of them, as soon as I stop dying. Because OH YES, I AM DYING. I have been, in the words of Adam, the sickest he’s ever seen me in our ten years together, and what a time for such illness, while PREGNANT, THANK YOU JESUS. I … I scared him a little, and frankly, I terrified the crap out of myself, at times quite literally. There were fevers (quickly reduced with Tylenol so as not to fry the babe)! Projectile vomiting while driving (Driv.Ing.)! Coughs to wake the dead! Wheezing! Migraines! OH MY GOD, IT WAS (is) HORRIBLE.

I think the whole thing can be summed up thusly: complete system failure. Lungs, sinuses, intestines, digestion … every single part of my body went up into a MASSIVE SCREAMING FAIL, and if it wasn’t for my husband, who was kind enough to fetch me things like cup o’ noodles, water and tea, I’m fairly sure I’d be dead now, not to mention filthy and very scary.

Which, when you consider the disaster that was my house-hunting experience on Thursday, didn’t seem so bad for a little while there. Um, oh my God. I really don’t know what else to say other than that. I did find myself at a home directly across from my OB/GYN’s office that was so old and decrepit that the doors did not appear to lock — they were wide open when I arrived — and had toilets that were OFF OF THE FLOOR. As in, WERE NOT ATTACHED TO THE PLUMBING, but apparently did not count, because it was in a side apartment that wasn’t going to be rented for obvious reasons, but came with the house “as a bonus!” Oh ha ha HA. I might add that our price range is equal to that of a two to three bedroom home in the Boston area. THE BOSTON AREA. AS IN, A MAJOR METRO AREA IN THE NORTHEAST, THE MOST EXPENSIVE PART OF THE COUNTRY.

And this … this is fucking VERMONT, which is decidedly not Boston or, say, Manhattan. It might be the most ridiculous rental market I’ve ever encountered, and if I weren’t thisclose to being virtually booted from our current abode, I would give up entirely, because for what they showed me, you’d think I’d arrived and said “Hi! I’d like a gigantic three-bedroom home for $500 a month, please! Anything with a working toilet is A-OK and even THAT’s negotiable!”

Except that I won’t give up, because I do think we’ll find something (PLEASE GOD), it’s just HOO BOY my first true go was a laughable one, and may have reduced my faith in humanity even more than it was already diminished. It is also possible that I am clouded by hormones and a little bit of mucus, and my default setting is to panic rather quickly in these situations and go all Eeyore, so I am staying positive! AIEEEEEEE.

And now for two totally unrelated, and nowhere equally exciting bits of news:

– The baby is fine, and has a wee little heartbeat that’s just perfect for his or her size. And I’ve gained four pounds, thanks to Swistle’s cookies and brownies! My doctor was very pleased, as I was, that I’m no longer SHEDDING pounds and have moved on to ADDING them. Although I am sad to report that I’m fairly certain I just lost them all over again, at the hands of this ridiculous, ridiculous disease. My stomach is almost flat, which it most definitely should not be at 17 weeks, and it’s a little upsetting, frankly. I never thought the sight of a smaller belly would fill me with so much woe, but it does. I also got snookered into the AFP, which I did not want, because everyone I know has TERRIFYING RESULTS with it, then goes on to have healthy, robust, non-spina bifida babies.

But on the upside, have I mentioned my long, gorgeous, well-manicured Sarah Palin fingernails? I might as well be sporting ACRYLICS over here, such is the strength and beauty of these bad boys. The lone positive side effect of pregnancy I’ve experienced thus far.

Also, the Big Sex Reveal ultrasound is scheduled for Oct. 20. I, for one, cannot freaking WAIT. My money’s on the fact that it’s a girl because, as I’ve mentioned, I’m TERRIFIED of having a girl, and am much more comfortable with a boy (AM NOT GIRLY). I sort of think by that logic that I’m destined to have a girl as a cosmic lesson in doing what makes you uncomfortable in the name of big reward. Although let’s be honest, I’m not sending it back no matter what happens, and I’ll embrace whoever he or she is as long as they’re healthy and happy. Obviously. And you know, guesses are still welcome based on this totally grainy and inconclusive ultrasound of nothingness from about five weeks ago that could very clearly go either way (I HAVE NO IDEA).

Baby Parts

(Arrow points to baby bits. It’s uh, from behind.)

– I reported Lawyerish’s shitty, shitty news a few weeks ago, but I am happy to say that there is HUGE, EXCITING, LIFE-CHANGING STUFF going on over there, and I’m so happy for her and her darling husband and their wee little baby girl. Go check it out. Bring Kleenex.

Happy Monday! If you read this and come in contact with me, for the love of Jesus, wash your hands or better yet, stay 10 feet back.

*Kate Nash.

21 comments September 28th, 2008


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