Signal to Noise
November 2nd, 2008
Going back to standard time is one of the best, most confusing times of the year. First, there’s always that moment of “Wait — what time is it?” that happens the second you wake up and then again at various points throughout the day. Unfortunately, Adam’s weekday alarm went off (we don’t know why), which had us starting the day at a ridiculously early hour, causing a domino effect culminating in dinner at 4 p.m. where, I do not make this up, I ordered the blue plate special.
We have geriatric envy. Always have. And with a baby on the way, I’m expecting these early habits (Early to bed! Early to rise! Early to eat! Hi, we like to be EARLY FOR EVERYTHING!) to become even more of a problem, if you can call it that. Just please stop me if I try to squeeze all of my appointments in before 9 a.m. so I can make it back for The 700 Club, mmkay?
But then there is that extra hour! That glorious extra hour! It’s all so conflicting.
I am not a fan, however, of this getting dark at 4 p.m. shit. Not at all, oh my lands.
We spent the weekend packing. And moving. And packing. And moving. This is easy to do when you’re moving approximately one mile away from your previous residence. This is THRILLING Adam to the very core, because if there’s one thing Adam loves, it’s moving. There are spreadsheets and lists and schedules, and, well, the man is really in his type-A element here.
Speaking of Adam, we got into a bit of a tiff last night over the status of milk. Yes, uh, milk. I’m not normally a big milk drinker, but it’s a beverage that has fallen into serious favor since I became pregnant. It’s filling, without being OVERLY filling; and it can be sweet or merely neutral, depending on the addition or lack thereof of chocolate milk or honey or whatever. But see? I just called it a beverage. And that, right there, is the problem: milk is not a beverage.
Yes, you drink it, but it is in no way thirst quenching, not unlike a martini — delicious, but not really satisfying in the hydrating sense. And yet it is filling! Deliciously filling! Therefore, I maintain that milk is a snack. It is no more a beverage than, say, a milkshake. Is a milkshake (or a frappe, if you’re a New Englander) thirst-quenching? I THOUGHT NOT.
In other news, we had a tenant who absolutely wanted to rent our house and then, in a 12-hour span, changed her mind due to family circumstances that literally changed overnight. Which: OMG, please kill me. The emotional rollercoaster is all too much to bear. I just want it DONE. DONE. DONE. OH MY GOD, DONE.
Unusual behavioral note: we’ve gotten more calls through the newspaper than we did from Craigslist. Online revolution my ASS. Although it did just occur to me that I’m talking about Florida. Specifically, the west coast of Florida, where 65 is considered sprightly and young.
Also, does anyone else find the fact that Joaquin Phoenix wrote “good bye” on his hands backwards — as in, “bye! Good” — as amusing as I did? As amusing as, say, the woman who was too stupid to realize that writing a “B” on your face IN THE MIRROR is likely to result in a backwards “B” and blow your whole story? At least Joaquin made the letters face outwards, rather than writing to himself, in a bizarre kiss-off. (Photo here.)
And finally, two things:
1) Adam’s been watching Twin Peaks on Netflix, and I haven’t really been paying attention at all. I can tell you, however, that I find it freakin’ BIZARRE that such a terrifying show was on network television. Uh, seriously? There have been EXPOSED BLOODY BRAIN PARTS and stuff, not to mention a level of surreal creep-fest that I’d previously left unimagined. I don’t even have context for half the stuff that’s gone down, and it’s given me nightmares. No seriously. NIGHTMARES.
2) A really unpleasant side effect of pregnancy I believe I mentioned before: Teen Wolf hair. You know those mysterious longish clear/white hairs that appear in odd places where they don’t belong? Like, say, your UPPER ARM? Or, I don’t know, your CHEEK? OR EAR? OR NAME THAT PLACE? Other than that, dude, the second trimester is SO the bees’ knees. I mean, continued nausea and other unpleasantness aside, I will take this over the non-stop pukefest, general malaise and utter migraine festival ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. Please don’t remind me that the third trimester is a total throwback to those days. Oh my God, I’m just trying to focus on the joy that is the next ten-ish weeks, assuming the agony of finding a tenant doesn’t kill me first.
Happy Monday!
*Peter Gabriel. And uh, it’s all noise around here.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
34 Comments Add your own
1. Swistle | November 2nd, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I find milk thirst-quenching only if it’s (1) skim, and (2) VERY COLD, and (3) only with certain foods. Like, with brownies or cookies, or with a tuna sandwich, milk is thirst-quenching. But not with pizza or tacos.
2. jonniker | November 2nd, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Milk with a … a tuna sandwich? You’ve lost me. MILK AND TUNA. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
(I’m so with you on the brownie/cookie thing. But tuna. I wish you could see my face right now. I like milk. I like tuna. But not together. Also, how much do I love you for not saying tuna fish?)
3. Gwen | November 2nd, 2008 at 6:20 pm
I only drink 1% milk, which I do find thirst-quenching, especially with PBJ (my default lunch). In fact, I often have to stop and think when I’m craving a bowl of cereal, because often I’m just actually thirsty. 2% or whole, though – I’d agree that’s a snack. I took a sip of some whole milk I bought for baking last week, and it felt like I was drinking unflavored pudding.
4. Danell | November 2nd, 2008 at 6:25 pm
I…I…(breaks into mad snickering…Swistle said tuna…). But really with her on the whole SKIM thing. MUST BE SKIM.
Anyway, the hairs…THE HAIRS…crap, not EVEN just the hairs…anything involving KERATIN…I mean, I’m on the verge of sprouting horns and hooves over here! I know you mentioned your nails before-I have to cut mine EVERY DAY.
Sorry, didn’t mean to get shrieky…but every day? What kind of normal human has to cut their nails EVERY DAY? Isn’t that, like almost supernatural? (Breaks into howl.)
5. -R- | November 2nd, 2008 at 6:29 pm
I do not think I have those hairs. Am I just fooling myself????
Also, I totally consider milk a beverage. I would never call milk a snack. Maybe because I grew up drinking milk with dinner every single night. Or maybe just because I am RIGHT.
6. jonniker | November 2nd, 2008 at 6:51 pm
R: The hair is baby, baby fine on me. But they appear out of nowhere and … oh dear. It’s awful.
And Adam is very heartened by the fact that you all support his milk-as-beverage belief. I drink 2% and yet I STILL cannot consider it quenching. Even growing up when they forced me to drink it, I believed it was too heavy and required water as an accompaniment.
Riveting.
7. derfina | November 2nd, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Milk IS a snack when you’re pregnant. When I was pg with both my kids, I would drink a gallon a day, but not to quench my thirst. It was the only thing that filled all the…crevasses? The empty spaces? I don’t know, but it was THE right thing to fill me up. And you are building strong bones and teeth.
8. Mary O | November 2nd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I think that 2% milk would seem more like a snack, whereas skim milk is most definitely a thirst-quenching beverage. Some meals (mostly hot, comfort food-ish things) just call out for a glass of milk to accompany.
My toddler is on a milk-strike right now and I just don’t get it. Weirdo. Him… not you =)
9. Amanda | November 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Back when I could actually drink milkshakes without getting sick (gastric bypass surgery side effect: frozen dairy = death), I would completely BAFFLE my husband by ordering BOTH a diet coke AND a milkshake on the same trip through the drive thru. One was for thirst, one for dessert. I feel much the same way about milk. For me it’s a MEAL.
For me the second trimester was SEXY TIME, so my assvice is to enjoy that before hemorrhoid season arrives!
10. Blythe | November 2nd, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Do you New Englanders pronounce it frap-pay (with a french accent) or FRAP? I’ve always wondered.
I watched Twin Peaks when it first aired and, keep in mind, this was when LA Law was considered groundbreaking television. It was truly like nothing I could have even imagined. I was both horrified and mesmerized. I have no idea who allowed it on the air but it was (however disturbingly) waaaay ahead of its time. Have you seen David Duchovny in stilettos yet?
Good luck with the move. Let the nesting commence!
11. Anyabeth | November 2nd, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Oh dude, I have said over and over that I would do two third trimesters before I would do another first trimester. I mean both suck but the third trimester is completely do-able. And at the end you get a baby!
And milk is the ultimate in pregnancy snacks. With a toasted peanut butter bagel if you are feeling extra peaked.
12. jonniker | November 2nd, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Blythe: It’s a frap, not a frappay. I think I’d prefer frappay. To add to the confusion, Friendly’s restaurants (do you guys have those on the left coast?) has a Fribble, which was based on the frappe, but now they also have milkshakes. And thank God, because their Fribbles are GROSS. SO GROSS, as they are much more watery and reminiscent of ice milk. BLEH.
13. Jennifer | November 2nd, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Milk=skim=beverage. And I’m with Swistle, I like a nice tuna sandwich (tuna salad actually, with pickles and celery) on toasted sourdough, with a big frosty glass of skim milk. Mmmmm. Thank you Swistle, I might just have that for lunch tomorrow.
btw, I haven’t seen “Friendly’s” restaurants in this part of the left coast (Seattle and northward), but perhaps they have them in Oregon or CA, not sure. I’m not sure I’d order something called a “Fribble” in any case.
14. Suebob | November 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Are you going to name her Jimmy? Because that would be kind of cute, even if she were allergic to upholstery.
15. Blythe | November 2nd, 2008 at 9:49 pm
I believe Friendly’s is an East Coast thing, I’d never seen one until I spent (way too much) time in a Hampton Inn near the Hartford airport. They always seem depressing to me for that reason. And now the Fribble, that sounds bit like dribble, that makes me think of someone with something on his chin, and well, Friendly’s never really had a chance at my business anyway.
And the third trimester wasn’t so terrible for me at all. Just antsy, because I was excited to see the kid.
16. Hillary | November 3rd, 2008 at 3:25 am
Milk is a snack. When I was pregnant was the only time in my life when I’ve willingly and even eagerly drank milk.
And the early thing: not a problem with a kiddo. It’s an advantage.
17. mar | November 3rd, 2008 at 5:17 am
milk & milk products are not thirst-quenching. whenever i have them, specifically ice cream/milkshake, my bf laughs at me, but now has become accustomed to my desperate need for water to wash the dairy residue from my parched mouth.
18. Sadie | November 3rd, 2008 at 5:59 am
Like R, growing up I drank a glass of milk with every meal. Whole milk even. But we were weird, and we put ice cubes in it so I guess that kind of watered it down. As an adult I drink 2%. While it’s not my ‘go-to’ when I’m thirsty, I do consider it a beverage.
A very funny Fribble story: the first time I ever smoked pot, with a teenaged boyfriend, we then went to Friendly’s to sate our weed-fueled ravenousness. I ordered a Fribble, and then we proceeded to howl hysterically at the sound of that word for what must have been way, way too long. Our poor waitress returned to the table to deliver said Fribble, and she fumbled nervously and DUMPED IT all over the booth, and me. She was horrified and we could. not. stop. laughing. Which I am sure made it even worse for her. I guess you had to be there, but it was pretty funny. I have never had a Fribble since.
19. H | November 3rd, 2008 at 6:45 am
I never thought about it until I read your post and the comments, but I now see that skim is a beverage and anything else is not. I was raised on some pre-instant milk powder stuff (gritty and mixed in a blender) so anything but skim is pudding-like to me. Even so, milk alone will only quench my thirst at certain random times. Most of the time, it seems to coat my mouth rather than refresh it.
I watched Twin Peaks when it first aired and I loved it. It was certainly the weirdest thing on TV, but it was good.
20. Jen | November 3rd, 2008 at 7:01 am
As a former Friendly’s waitress, I have to tell you that the reason a Fribble tastes like ice milk is that it is made with a special Fribble ice creamy stuff, which is basically ice milk. Also, one of my coworkers once spilled an entire strawberry Fribble on a poor person, and I am now wondering if that poor person was in fact Sadie!
21. TwoBusy | November 3rd, 2008 at 7:02 am
Drinking 2% milk – or, god help me, whole milk – is akin to drinking a glass of cream cheese. Just too thick and authentically jus de cow for me to handle.
22. jonniker | November 3rd, 2008 at 7:10 am
Jen: HAHAHA, I was a Friendly’s waitress too. For two long summers. I will never — NEVER — order anything made from their “grilled” chicken. Ever. I spied it one too many times fresh out of the freezer. And ew God, no.
23. Lynn | November 3rd, 2008 at 7:33 am
I’m totally with you on the milk. Skim milk is my go-to snack when I’m feeling like a little something but don’t want to spend too many calories on it. If I’m thirsty too — I’ll have a glass of water on the side!
24. Jen | November 3rd, 2008 at 7:50 am
You too, Jonna?? Ha! I think I still have my nametag from back in the day that said “Jen – Friendly Since (year)” and embarrassingly enough, I still know that damn menu by heart.
25. Sadie | November 3rd, 2008 at 8:09 am
HAHAHA! No, Jen, my Fribble was chocolate. And frankly I kind of deserved to have a Fribble dumped all over me, now that I think back on it.
26. Lawyerish | November 3rd, 2008 at 10:18 am
I’m sorry. You know I love you, but how can anything liquid be a SNACK? I might agree that milk is not thirst-quenching per se — you wouldn’t pound a glass of milk after a long run, for example (UGH, the mere THOUGHT…) — but it’s still a beverage. As in, something to drink, not eat.
I think a milkshake is in hazier territory; it’s more of a dessert since it has ice cream in it and is therefore not 100% a liquid. But if I were to order a milkshake with my meal, I wouldn’t get a Diet Coke along with it, because it would get way too sloshy.
I am dying over Suebob’s comment. But Jimmy doesn’t HAVE asthma!
27. Kristin H | November 3rd, 2008 at 10:55 am
Milk: Neither a snack nor a thirst-quencher when I was pregnant. It was a deep-seated NEED. A drank 2 gallons a week, all by myself. Also, I had terrible heartburn, esp. during the 3rd trimester, and milk instantly calmed it down for me. But other than the heartburn, my 3rd trimester was not terrible at all. In fact, it was sunshine and roses compared to your 1st trimester. The beginning of the 3rd trimester was great because people can tell you’re pregnant and not just wondering but too polite to say anything.
28. ali | November 3rd, 2008 at 10:55 am
i find the entire Joaquin situation to be mildly disturbing. i mean, who on earth does he need to make this giant announcement?? if he doesn’t want to do a movie, just don’t do one. also? if it’s what people (casey affleck) are saying, that he wants to focus on his music, why exactly does he have to pick one? why can’t he do both?
29. Emily | November 3rd, 2008 at 11:12 am
Seriously? I’m the only one who exercises and comes home and drinks a big pint glass full of milk? It satisfies me so much more than water. It’s okay if I’m the weirdo, I’m drinking about a gallon and a half of milk a week BY MYSELF. JUST ME, DRINKING ALL THAT MILK. It’s 1% but it’s filling out my ass quite nicely.
Also, Jonna have you read Early Bird? I think you would find it absolutely HILARIOUS. I’d be happy to send you my copy for your amusement, I’ve read it three times because I love it so.
http://tinyurl.com/6c8g8h
P.S. The best thing at Friendly’s is the grilled cheese. YURM>.
30. Penny | November 3rd, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Yea. Daylight savings time changes with a child: not fun at all. Live it up now!
31. Jeanne B. | November 3rd, 2008 at 1:30 pm
I must be weird, because not only do I crave milk when I’m thirsty, but I can easily down a half-gallon of it straight from the container in big satisfying gulps as long as the chill is just slightly off of it (room temperature). Glug, glug. In my mind, it’s a beverage.
RE: house rental—you may never know it, but you might have been very glad to lose that renter. It’s opening the door for an even better one, fear not. I have faith.
32. Amy K | November 3rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Cold skim milk is a beverage. Any other variety is too creamy for me to deal with, unless it’s housed within another beverage (coffee, hot chocolate, tea, eggnog), and then it’s more of a dessert.
Second trimester rocks. I feel cute (minus the mutant hairs, which aren’t all baby-fine) and pleasantly round and cheerful. The abdominal ache as everything begins to stretch out down there occasionally means that my husband has to follow me around and heave me off furniture and onto my feet, but that’s his job, right? And Jonna – I had the craziest thought the other day. I’ve also been reading What to Expect when You’re Expecting, and in the last couple of weeks it pointed out that girl fetuses have ovaries full of eggs at this point. Now we’re not just carrying our daughters around…it’s future grandchildren in there, too! HOLY CRAP. For the next four months, I’m three generations walking around in one body. Wild, wild stuff.
33. Nora Bee | November 3rd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I’ve always hated milk, but I agree with you that it is more of a snack than a beverage.
34. Shamelessly Sassy | November 3rd, 2008 at 5:30 pm
My husband, Adam, is eaten up with old person envy. Also, he orders the goddamn blue plate special everywhere we go. He loves plate lunches. If he could get his hands on them, we’d be up to our asses in those plate lunch style mashed potatoes that restaurants serve. Also, he bought those super generic glasses that old people buy from the grocery store. The sort where you guess your prescription. They make him look like Dwight Schrute from The Office and/or a serial killer. I expect him to start wrapping up biscuits in napkins and taking them home in his pocket like old people do any day now. The man thinks he is a relic.
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