Tiny Little Fractures
November 18th, 2008
So hey! We’re moved. And though my shift key is performing slightly better than before, it is in no way back to its pre-breakage performance levels. I give it a C.
Adam and I keep wandering around the house saying, “Uh, we live here? How weird is this?” I’ve never moved so close to my previous address before — sure, I moved all around Boston, but the city and its outlying suburbs have such distinct personalities that it feels very far away, even if it’s merely from Brookline to Cambridge. But Vermont — particularly small-town Vermont — not so much. I can practically see my old house from here, and I fall asleep to the same church bells I fell asleep to before. The train is louder here, and that’s about it.
It is different in that it’s essentially an apartment, and not a house, which is a first for us since we’ve been married. It’s nice, in a way, to have a smaller, warmer space, especially since right now, we just don’t need it and the fact that it’s less per month doesn’t exactly hurt. Yes, our daughter will take up room, but it’s not like I’m going to be giving birth to a four-year-old, as I keep reminding everyone who will listen, and a year is a long time from now, when our lease is up.
hAhAHAHAHAHA, lease (see how the shift key mocks me, even after being “fixed”?).
The reminder that I am renting (and owning! Thrilling!) leads me to the fact that what made a mostly uneventful move exciting was getting screamed at — no literally, SCREAMED at, in a rather offensive way — by our neighbor two doors down from us. It all started with a front door vs. back door mover thing and ended up in a hideous rant about renters! These horrible renters! And how she hopes that these people moving in are quiet and aren’t big party people who will, and I wish I were making this up, leave bras in the trees outside the building. I … bras? Really? I mean, I was standing there with a belly 10 inches out from my body, and thinking, really? The most exciting evening I’ve had lately involved Netflix and some Hostess cupcakes. Seriously, lady. Your fit is most misdirected.
When I stammered as much in her direction, she pulled out her big gun, wagging her finger in my face and screeching, “Don’t tell me how you can possibly understand any of this. You’re not a homeowner!”
Oh ha ha HA, angry old lady! HA. If only you knew how deeply I wish I could say I wasn’t a homeowner. Also, the whole Dirty Renters vs. Perfect Owners thing is so played out, because I’m sorry, owning means nothing these days, at best, and is a gigantic albatross, at worst. (See Baudelaire bird around my neck for details.) I have so much sympathy for the landlords in my building who are, in all likelihood, renting at a loss like the rest of us. And further, has this woman not heard that this is a time where we must all sacrifice? If the worst sacrifice you have to make is sharing your otherwise pristine building with tenants, consider yourself lucky.
Anyway, speaking of tenants, I’m sewing up the details on ours and awaiting first month’s rent. In the meantime, I have to deal with a mess on our property insurance before Dec. 1, figure out if I need to get a locksmith and a new lock on the house as a key went AWOL, determine the key handoff with my former tenant (and track down her damn rent!) and accommodate the new tenants’ request for a special allergen dry cleaning for the carpet that costs three times as much as normal carpet cleaners. Oh, and file endless paperwork and pay people astronomical sums of money for absolutely nothing at all. All from VERMONT for a house in Florida I would do anything not to own anymore, but cannot sell, thanks to the financial meltdown and piles of foreclosures driving prices down to levels so low that I don’t know when I’ll be able to sell, much less my neighbors who paid twice what I did.
Add all of this to a move of my own and a life of boxes, a car that needs a ridiculous amount of repairs and that I owe a laughable sum of money on for unavoidable mileage overages that directly involve the state of Florida (sorry, Florida. I hate you.), meaning I need to buy a new car or … Oh yes, and prepare for a baby at a time when every headline is screaming, “IS THIS THE END?”
Now I realize all of this is do-able and no one is dying, but it does ratchet up the anxiety levels a bit, leaving me a bit of a handwringing mess when I arrived for my ultrasound today — which was great, by the way. She is still a she, and her heart is four-chambered and perfect and I am so, so lucky. However! I was all hand-wringy and anxious and I’m prone to crippling anxiety without external factors and this, combined with the state of the world and pregnancy, has left me a little afraid of backsliding into the anxious insane person I was at the height of my GAD, so I thought hey! Let’s nip this in the bud! I foolishly mentioned this to my OB/GYN — the only one I hadn’t met before, and now, the only one I really don’t like — who suggested I see their hypnotherapist to find the “root of the problem in my past — perhaps in my childhood.”
Oh heaven help me. I think my anxiety can be tied to actual events, hormones and life, not whether my parents held me enough as an infant, you know? This. This is why I’m a CBT gal, my friends. (For what it’s worth, however, my old CBT therapist used hypnotherapy with me a few times, and it worked. So it’s not like I’m against the practice as a whole. But come on. MY PAST.)
Anyway! I’m really fine, just a little anxious over the long looming list of things that have to be done in the next two weeks. And decidedly NOT heading to hypnotherapy, for God’s sake.
Happy Wednesday! I, for one, plan to make a dent in this mess, rather than explore my childhood.
*Snow Patrol
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
18 Comments Add your own
1. Anyabeth | November 18th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Oh lord. I always hated how people (especially OBs) would ignore that being anxious is perfectly normal while pregnant (and after). And that when you add in any predisposition to it and the world MELTING BEFORE OUR EYES well yes.
A doctor that will help you cope with your symptoms while not trying to make you feel bad about them is worth their weight in gold. But sadly hard to find.
2. Nora Bee | November 18th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
HA. Congratulations on your move. And, tell your doc it was your crazy ass high school that did it. And seriously, the wine. My OB poured me a glass herself. Best. Anxiety. Management. Ever.
3. BethanyWD | November 18th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Here’s my ass-vice for the day (and you may have covered this here sometime before) – have you ever considered using a rental company to manage your rental and all aspects of the process? We own two homes – one about 60 miles away and one 200 miles away (and in another state!). And, while they do take anywhere from 7-10% in management fees each month, OMG, it is so much better than doing it ourselves. No more waiting for potential renters that never show, fielding repair calls at 10pm at night, dealing with late payments, etc. Now, our agency just takes care of it.
Congrats on the move – glad it wasn’t too painful.
4. Erin | November 18th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Yeah it isn’t all of the crap in the world now that has you anxious, it’s the time in third grade when that kid wouldn’t share his pudding cup! My god, that doctor is a GENIUS! If that doctor ended up being in the room when I gave birth I would TOTALLY be all “Somebody get me a hypnotherapist! My past emotional pain is so strong I can feel the pain physically!” But, um, I’m mean.
5. Swistle | November 19th, 2008 at 3:48 am
OMG, this is all so STRESSFUL and OVERWHELMING. And THANKS A LOT, crazy neighbor and crazy OB, for volunteering to ADD to it.
6. TwoBusy | November 19th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Did you find a neighbor with revolting deep-fryer habits yet?
7. jonniker | November 19th, 2008 at 6:08 am
Bethany – We did think about it, yes, but I think we would have lost a lot of money in addition to the monthly fees because it could take us up to half a year to rent the place out. Agency-managed properties, in the area where I lived, are really hard to rent, as they insist on doing the tenant screening themselves, and they charge the tenants somewhere in the range of $300 in fees to simply APPLY to rent the house. That lessens the pool considerably. People just don’t want to go through brokers down there, because they don’t have to.
Also, they take 20 percent, plus one month’s rent. But I’ll tell you, next time I’m not doing this shit.
8. Sadie | November 19th, 2008 at 6:10 am
Wow, your new neighbor sounds like a real treat. That is exactly the kind of neighbor I would antagonize, just for entertainment value. I think you should festoon a tree near her unit with some of the bras you’ve outgrown, and see what happens.
You have a lot going on, and any one of the individual situations is stressful, never mind the compounded effect – why are doctors so dense sometimes? Situational anxiety/depression is NORMAL, and does not require hypnotherapy or psychotropic drugs.
9. Jenine | November 19th, 2008 at 6:43 am
Welcome home. Hope you get to nest a tiny bit now. And aren’t you glad you aren’t paying much attention to that OB? Just think if you were younger and more impressionable.
10. Kristin H | November 19th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I don’t know what GAD or CBT are, but I know that when I’m stressed I feel better when I’m doing something about it. So power to ya, sister, on making a dent in the mess!
11. Penny | November 19th, 2008 at 10:40 am
Get a locksmith. It’s peace of mind, and very typical of most rentals anyway.
If your lease doesn’t say anything about the type of carpet cleaning, dont’ agree to it, but maybe offer to chip in to the tune of $50 to $100, howevermuch you can spare. It makes for goodwill but doesn’t make you a rug.
Congrats on the good u/s. I could not imagine having to deal with house crap while pregnant, for that I am very glad we got ours sorted out beforehand.
I was in a tiny apartment with a wee one for 9 months and liked it in the beginning, hated it in the end, but the cheap rent TOTALLY made up for it. And now I know I could do it again if we had to.
12. Kristabella | November 19th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
When I read the title I was like “OH NO! The baby kicked her so hard she has tiny little fractures in her ribs!” (I don’t even think that could happen.
I’m glad you’re not broken.
13. Jeanne B. | November 19th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I’m with you on the vacant faraway house issue. I’m dealing with TWO right now. No, I’m not a millionaire by any means, LOL! Had a house of my own, parents died, inherited their house AND grandma’s house (which was a rental until the year before my folks died) so my house and grandma’s are for sale. Not fun. Neither one is in great shape, and as the string of realtors keeps telling me, “in this market…” that makes a difference.
I wish you much luck with it all and hope that either the economy turns around for all of us or our personal economies improve at the very least!
14. Jess | November 20th, 2008 at 7:13 am
I’m so glad she’s healthy. I can’t wait to hear what you name her. And I hadn’t thought about that, but you are totally right–it’s scary to think of bringing a new person into the world at a time when the headlines are all gloom and doom. I keep thinking that maybe Obama will be president when I have my first baby, and how cool is that?
15. Shutter Bitch | November 20th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Is it horrible that I’m already plotting ways to help you shut the Yelly Neighbor the righteous hell up? I’m torn between the Kill Her with Kindness method and the Pull Devious Tricks on Her method. Though I can’t think of any devious tricks. So I’d probably take her brownies and tell her my plans for the weekend involve movies, maybe looking for a different vehicle, and seeing friends. At THEIR house, not mine.
I’m glad things are going well with the pregnancy. Seems like everything else around you is giving you fits, so it’s nice to see one thing working like clockwork. Now that the nausea is gone, anyway.
16. Jonniker. » Nuttin&&hellip | December 18th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
[...] person/mother and baby are healthy and happy, then there is no problem. I was so cheesed off by the hypnotherapy recommendation from the last doctor (who I did not like! NO LIKE!) that I neglected to mention that she snidely [...]
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