Everything’s Gone Green

December 4th, 2008

Well! Since we’re running around like mad this weekend, and I finally found the camera downloader thingy (totally its technical name!), this post will be brief, but informative! Yes!

First off, I am the size of a horse, or at least that’s what it feels like. I’m not even going to pretend to deny that it is in part because two people called me “huge” this week, and I have 13 weeks left and OH I AM TERRIFIED OF WHAT IS TO COME. You know how some people say that the only time in their life they didn’t have body issues was when they were pregnant? I AM THE OPPOSITE. I always sort of liked my body, but one of the things I liked most was that I could do things with it, like, say, move faster than a tortoise. And now I can’t even shave my legs without some serious effort that involves sitting in a bathtub. And my hair stands up goofily on end. And … man, this is not a glamorous gig, you know? For crying out loud, my EYES are getting SQUINCHY. Thank God I’m going to be rewarded with an awesomely smooshy little baby, because otherwise I’d be demanding my money back. You know, for the chins and all.

Bear in mind I have no patience for formatting, so sorry for the extra white wall of giantness and mini-me in the mirror.

27 weeks with awful haircut
Artfully resting with my hand on my hip so you can’t see the arm that looks like Popeye after he let himself go soft. BEEFY. SMOOSHY. OH MY GOD.

And finally, the hair. It’s still standing up, despite a full fifteen minutes of post-blowdry construction involving waxes and a variety of cosmetics.
Haircut in focus, equally bad.

Anyway! Now that we’ve discovered that I have turned into a emotionally petite little flower with an extra dose of irritating, let us go on to brighter things! Or, you know, BRIGHTER PLANETS. (Am subtle!) My husband’s company, Brighter Planet, started a new campaign and I’ve got some invites to hand out. Basically, the gist is this: Brighter Planet will offset a free day’s worth of carbon emissions in your name — all they ask is that you make an effort to conserve energy this holiday season. I actually think it’s pretty nifty, and if you’re interested, all you have to do is click here.

One Day from Brighter Planet

I hope you all have a delightful weekend! Have a happy Friday and beyond!

*New Order

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35 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Emily  |  December 4th, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    Too bad we can’t hole up together and lament our growing asses together. The only thing keeping me going is knowing I have less than four weeks left. That and the homemade thin mint cookies in the fridge. WHICH I SHOULD NOT HAVE MADE, see above, re: GROWING ASS.

  • 2. Emily  |  December 4th, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    P.S. I forgot to add that I think you look great, actually. Hair and all! It’s CUTE!

  • 3. NGS  |  December 4th, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    I think the hair is cute! You’re rockin’ it!!

  • 4. Suebob  |  December 4th, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    You look marvelous and cute like always.

  • 5. Suebob  |  December 4th, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    But even more so now.

  • 6. Kristi  |  December 4th, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    You look awesome! The hormones cause you to see yourself in an unrealistic way – you are totally cute.

    The One Day Carbon Free is kinda cool – not at all like The Human Fund.

  • 7. Blythe  |  December 4th, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    You look great to me and the look on your face in that second photo is priceless.

    There is only a handful of surviving photos of Pregnant Me. I was at week 38 on Christmas and insisted on taking all of the photos so I did not have to be in them. Keep in mind that we spent Christmas by ourselves because we couldn’t travel, so all of our 2006 holiday pictures are of my husband and plates full of food.

    All to say that (as you have gathered) I didn’t go all Earth Mother loving my voluptuous curves either. Hear Hear.

  • 8. Trina  |  December 4th, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    BEEBEE belly!!! Oh, and that hair is WAY better than The Jonnet! I had visions of horrific insanity, but I think your current “do” is adorable!

    You look AMAZING, and I can only imagine the little one inside is infinitely more precious!

  • 9. TwoBusy  |  December 5th, 2008 at 3:04 am

    “BEEFY. SMOOSHY.” made me cackle. Sorry. Couldn’t help it.

    Anyhow. Look at you: all radiant with new life ‘n shit.

  • 10. Swistle  |  December 5th, 2008 at 4:26 am

    No, the hair is cute. I’m sorry, but you get no sympathy: it is cute. In fact, I think if I were you I would WORK the standy-uppiness: could you make it stand up MORE with less effort?

  • 11. Susan  |  December 5th, 2008 at 4:40 am

    Thanks for the carbon neutrality! I’ll regift on my site and share the love, but right now my head is flying off my body as I get kids out the door to school. Just you wait, it’s totally dreamy.

  • 12. margie  |  December 5th, 2008 at 5:46 am

    i had babies in all four seasons, the best was the mid winter one that ended up a decent age and size by summer!! the worst was the one born the middle of june, i died from heat near the end and sweated to death nursing a newborn with no air conditioning.

  • 13. Jen  |  December 5th, 2008 at 5:52 am

    You look great! Anyone telling you that you are huge is an enormous ARSE. You are pregnant, for pete’s sake! You look fantastic. Even the hair! I agree with everyone else who has said it is cute! Work the spikeys!

  • 14. Amanda  |  December 5th, 2008 at 6:15 am

    The only benefit of pregnancy that I could tell (aside from a return to gravity defying hooters) was that I was finally SUPPOSED to have a big belly. I always had one anyway, so it was a perk for me that it was finally a good thing.

    I think you look adorable! One of my cousins had this weird pregnancy condition where her nose would get all swollen and she looked TERRIBLE, like, not herself AT ALL, and it lasted from before she even began to show until a few weeks after delivery. That always made me feel better about my own girth; it could’ve been so much worse.

    PS – Nice rack!

  • 15. Angella  |  December 5th, 2008 at 6:15 am

    You really are too cute. Seriously. You look amazing and your hair is adorable.

    The BEEFY SMOOSHY bit was awesome. You never fail to crack me up.

  • 16. Kristin H  |  December 5th, 2008 at 6:19 am

    The first time I first saw a picture of you was the one where you were kind of crouched down and the camera was about all you could see in the mirror. I think you were lamenting about extra poundage. Anyway, I thought “Really? She’s cute!” Same thing here. Also: Expression = awesome. As for the next few weeks…well, comfort won’t exactly describe it. Here’s my pregnant belly, about 2 weeks before my son was born: http://tinyurl.com/5hp5md

    But you’re almost done being pregnant! Holy cow!

  • 17. velocibadgergirl  |  December 5th, 2008 at 6:44 am

    I think you look pretty damn cute, truthfully.

    Thanks for the carbon offset thing! Very, very cool 😀

  • 18. Jess  |  December 5th, 2008 at 7:25 am

    I totally see room for you to get bigger. I do! And I mean that in a good way. You don’t look THAT huge. You look about 27 weeks pregnant. Just a thought.

  • 19. Kristabella  |  December 5th, 2008 at 9:04 am

    Oh my, you are not huge at all! You are so cute! You look great. Seriously.

  • 20. Amanda Brown  |  December 5th, 2008 at 9:11 am

    You look superb. And, literally, full o’ life! Thanks for the pictures.

  • 21. JudithNYC  |  December 5th, 2008 at 9:27 am

    You look great! Yeah, sure, the hair is sticking up, but you make it work.

    One of the things I don’t understand about pregnancy is why my ass grew in direct proportion to my belly. Also, my nose expanded to twice non-pregnant size in width.

  • 22. Mandee  |  December 5th, 2008 at 11:02 am

    You look adorable.

    I thought of all my pregnant blogger friends when a real life friend walked into choir practice this week all zipped up in her maternity leisure suit. She looked adorable and I told her so. I don’t know how people can associate any other adjective with that belly!

    And my bangs are doing that same sticky uppy routine and I’m not pregnant.

  • 23. -R-  |  December 5th, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    I think you look really good. You do not look huge.

    I felt relatively good about my size during the 2nd trimester but developed extreme body image issues during my 3rd trimester. I always thought I wasn’t sensitive about body image issues, but I discovered that I really am. I wouldn’t even post a picture of myself when I was pregnant, so I think you are doing great!

  • 24. Carrie  |  December 5th, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    I stopped looking at the scale my last three weeks of my pregnancies–I just couldn’t take it anymore!

    And you do look cute! Work that spikey hair! Enjoy those big knockers while ya got ’em!

  • 25. Danell  |  December 5th, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    You DO look great, pregnant but not “huge”…just pregnant. But I SO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I have NOT ENJOYED being pregnant; I just CANNOT understand all of my friends with the whole “oooh I just loved every minute of being pregnant!” Whuh? How? You liked not being able to reach your feet? Not being able to shave? Losing your breath climbing FOUR STAIRS? Having to pee ninety six times a night and having each and every trip out of the bed involve an upside-down beetle-trapped-on-its-back thrashing maneuver? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU ENJOY THAT?

  • 26. Mauigirl  |  December 5th, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    I think you look adorable, actually! And I totally identify with your issues on shaving legs, etc….unfortunately it’s only because I gained 20 lbs. in the past couple of years! At least you have a reason!

  • 27. winterwheat  |  December 6th, 2008 at 12:43 am

    Oh come now. You look fantastic. Adorable bump, adorable hair, adorable face in spite of the sardonic look. :-)

  • 28. mar  |  December 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    you are far from huge; you’ve got a ways to go to get there.
    i can see how the hair might cause you distress, but that’s only because i haven’t had short hair in ages & i think i couldn’t do the whole ‘disheveled, rolled out of bed, artfully placed hair’ do. it’s bad enough that mine just hangs there. (soon i will be getting it cut after 4 months! & i’m hoping it’ll be more cooperative)

  • 29. mar  |  December 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    also, going to gift some of that carbon neutrality.

  • 30. Pam  |  December 7th, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    Thanks so much for taking that carbon load off my shoulders! Nifty web site there.
    You are SO not huge! And the spiky hair? The only thing that could make it better would be a reprise of the pink hair. In keeping with the situation.

  • 31. Danielle-lee  |  December 8th, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    You look WONDERFUL!!!

  • 32. Reagan  |  December 14th, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    You look so wonderful!!

    And I think I look the same way, but that is due to inactive studying and I don’t get a precious bundle of joy after 9 months!! :)

  • 33. cosmetics free delivery&hellip  |  December 20th, 2008 at 6:35 am

    cosmetics free delivery…

    I think you did a great job writing Traditional light bulbs to be phased out : RecyclingSupermarket.com. Bravo….

  • 34. Eric&hellip  |  December 29th, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    christmas flower delivery…

    One notable blogging tool that does not support trackback yet is Blogger.It has since been implemented in most other blogging tools….

  • 35. Assertagirl  |  December 29th, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    I’m late to comment but just wanted to say that you’re looking wonderful. People are rude to use the word “huge” in the presence of a pregnant woman.

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