Nuttin’ but love
December 18th, 2008
When I was initially shopping for an ob/gyn-type person, I never considered a midwife, mostly because while I have very few things I’m seeking in a birth plan, access to drugs is number one on the list, and many, if not most, of the local midwife practices are all home-birthy and stuff, or at least discourage epidurals. (At the risk of stereotyping, this IS Vermont, you know. I could probably walk outside and throw a rock and it would land on the home of someone who homebirthed, which is way cool, but SO NOT FOR ME. AM TOO TERRIFIED.)
And, well, I wanted access to a doctor that knew me, and could see me before AND after, like a regular old gynecologist and stuff. But! I also wanted some of the touchy-feely midwifery stuff, and as luck would have it, my PCP was able to refer me to a mixed practice with two midwives and four doctors. And I … I strongly prefer the midwives. Go figure.
They’re just so relaxing! And soothing! And, perhaps most importantly, they seem to take the same approach to weight that I do in life, which is to say if the person/mother and baby are healthy and happy, then there is no problem. I was so cheesed off by the hypnotherapy recommendation from the last doctor (who I did not like! NO LIKE!) that I neglected to mention that she snidely commented on my ten-pound weight gain in one month, without even CONSIDERING the fact that I’d spent the majority of the pregnancy puking and losing weight, and for the first time, I was actually EATING SOMETHING.
As in, when I said I was finally no longer nauseated, she sniffed and said, rather snarkily, “Well that explains the ten pounds. You might not want to keep that up.”
And then I shot her. Except not really, of course, but I did notice that she was Giada-thin, caked in makeup and wearing a see-through gold sweater, and thought, huh. Perhaps we don’t share the same body image-slash-beauty ideals. Plus, you know, my GOD, it’s not like I was on some kind of WEIGHT GAINING SPREE until that point, and besides, as a healthy person with a reasonably healthy weight who’s been told that she’s both too thin AND too heavy during pregnancy — SOMETIMES DURING THE SAME DAY — I felt that her comments were a bit out of line, doctor or no.
Not that it matters, but I’ve changed precisely nothing about my eating habits between my last two check-ups, and gained precisely two pounds this time. So, to the lollipop-headed doctor — and anyone else who wants to give a pregnant woman shit about her weight — I say suck it, and while you’re at it, choke on it. Bodies do what they are meant to do, period, and unless you hear rumors that the woman is sitting in front of her television with a jar of Hellman’s, you might want to keep your trap shut.
Pregnancy is not the time to give a shit about your weight. Hell, as long as you’re taking care of yourself and are healthy and happy, LIFE is not the time to give too much of a shit about your weight. I’m not opposed to controlling your weight and exercising — hell, I am a HUGE FAN of Weight Watchers — but like I said, one must be reasonable, and do it for the right reasons. And those reasons do not include a slim pregnancy for the hell of it, is what I’m saying.
I’ve mentioned this before, but my complaint in feeling huge has little to do with what I look like, and more to do with what I can and can’t do. That does not, however, mean that I didn’t die a little inside when I asked Adam how much he weighed and realized that before this pregnancy is out, I WILL ECLIPSE HIM. Uh, ha ha?
This is all a long way of saying that my midwife was perplexed, then started laughing when I mentioned the last doctor flagged my weight, and announced that she didn’t care if I gained sixty pounds, as long as we were all healthy. And then I made out with her right then and there. But not enough to forgo an epidural or anything.
Whatever. There’s a WHOLE OTHER PERSON in there. (Clicking brings you to Flickr. I just didn’t feel like futzing with the size this time.)
In other news, I don’t have gestational diabetes, and I did eventually throw up after sucking down the Glucola, but NOT IN THE CAR. Victory!
Happy Friday! Who’s ready to drive an hour and forty to GO TO THE MALL? (SHOOT ME.)
*Heavy D & The Boyz. Oh, I kill me.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
28 Comments Add your own
1. She Likes Purple | December 18th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Where oh where did you get those jeans? I love them and must have them.
2. Pam | December 18th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
You look perfect! Your doctor must be on crack. It’s probably how she stays under 80 pounds.
A friend of mine had a midwife who was attached to her ob/gyn and did not have to lose the epidural. So maybe you can have the best of both worlds. Drugs and humanity.
Seriously, you look wonderful.
3. Sadie | December 18th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I love Heavy D. There, I said it. That is all.
4. Mimi All Me | December 18th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
I love my OB/GYN mostly for the fact that during my first two pregnancies (and now starting on my third), he never once told me to lay off of the frozen pizzas. And I had gained let’s just say QUITE A BIT of weight during both of those pregnancies. I agree… bodies just do what they want and everybody is different.
P.S. Your belly is cute and those jeans are really cute!
5. mar | December 18th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
you look tiny! seriously, not just saying that.
and can i send my bf to beat down that ob/gyn? seriously…
6. Sundry | December 18th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I . . . I may have done that while pregnant. The jar of mayonnaise thing, I mean. Or was it a jar of peanut butter? Yes, definitely that, ha ha ha, what was I thinking? (OMG IT MAY HAVE BEEN MAYONNAISE.)
7. moo | December 19th, 2008 at 3:37 am
At 24w I finally got back to my pre pg weight. My midwife commented, “oh good, you’re FINALLY gaining weight.” That is now my newest philosophy in life.
Midwives will still let you do the epi if that’s what you want. They are all about EMPOWERMENT.
8. Hillary | December 19th, 2008 at 4:11 am
You look great, but no matter what you gain, I think most women feel huge as the end approaches. My belly felt like it’d taken on a life of its own, which I guess it had. What I want to know is how men with beer bellies function on a daily basis, year in and year out.
9. NGS | December 19th, 2008 at 7:00 am
You look great!
And as someone who married a very slender man, I think you should know that I eclipsed his weight on my wedding day. (It’s not that I’m huge or anything, just that he’s slight!) I kind of feel like once you’ve walked down the aisle knowing you’re always going to be the fat one in the relationship, weight can never be an issue again!!
10. Dani | December 19th, 2008 at 8:09 am
There is NOTHING in the world cuter, sweeter, or more beautiful to me than a pregnant woman. You look great!
11. Allison | December 19th, 2008 at 8:57 am
I weigh more than my husband and I’m NOT pregnant. Heh.
12. Christine | December 19th, 2008 at 9:07 am
The mixed practice thing sounds absolutely GENIUS. Also I don’t think you look particularly large, you’re pregnant for pete’s sake. Now I have all sorts of inappropriate rage towards the sheer gold OB/GYN.
P.S. I think that this means that Adam needs to start eating more. Really it’s the only fair solution.
13. Anyabeth | December 19th, 2008 at 10:22 am
You look fabulous.
I had an OB snark about my weight when my regular OB’s nurse walked in, slapped him over the head and said “WE DON’T DO THAT REMEMBER?”
Why yes, I did give her champagne after the birth, write her a note and sent a letter on her behalf to her bosses. Because she was just awesome.
14. slynnro | December 19th, 2008 at 11:28 am
The great thing about marrying a giant? He literally weighs 100 lbs more than I do.
15. Swistle | December 19th, 2008 at 11:33 am
One of the OBs in my practice keeps a BMI chart taped to the wall over the scale. I NEVER SEE HIM. It’s not even some kind of special BMI chart for pregnant women, which would be BAD ENOUGH—it’s a REGULAR BMI chart. For pregnant women to look at, so they know they’re not “pregnant,” they’re “obese.”
16. Jessica | December 19th, 2008 at 11:39 am
After I could finally hold down food, I gained like, 12 pounds in three days. Okay, not three days, but really fast. And the OB I see who I also hate actually said something nice/decent about it. Said that those of us who puke our guts out months on end — our bodies go into starvation mode, so anything we can keep down gets hoarded by our bodies, squirreled away into secret storage rooms hidden in our thighs just in case we decide to start dying again. Makes sense to me. I think I would have punched see-through gold shirt lady doctor. I’m approaching 200 pounds and do not give a flying fart.
17. Jessica | December 19th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Swistle — I would so vandalize that BMI chart. Or swipe it on my way to the bathroom and tear it into tiny pieces.
18. Jessica | December 19th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Okay sorry, somehow I always end up writing epistles in your comment section.
The midwives you’re seeing? They’ll totally do the epidural and the whole nine yards. If they’re working in a practice along side OBs, they’re CNMs (Certified Nurse Midwives) who only attend hospital births.
Midwives who are CPMs (Certified Practical Midwives – and some other direct entry DE varieties) do NOT deliver in hospitals at all, attending only homebirths and birthing center births. CPMs can administer Pitocin (in some states) and narcotics (in some states) but they wouldn’t have access to an anesthesiologist unless you transferred to a hospital.
SO. If you prefer your midwives, have them attend your birthing, you’ll have access to all the drugs you want. My first was with a CNM in a hospital and I had the epidural, pitocin, a shot of narcotics at one point…
19. Lise | December 19th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Just wanted to add my “I heart midwives” two cents. I had an ob/cnm team for my first pregnancy with my twins. One twin was delivered by a midwife, the other by the ob (not planned that way, baby 2 was in distress), with epidural on board. Second pregnancy was all midwifery care and baby 3 delivered by a midwife, also with epidural on board. I loved my ob too, but there is just something special about midwives.
20. Owl | December 19th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
You look great! I was fairly thin and ate normally until I got pregnant. Then I ate everything I could get my hands on and then finished off what was on other people’s plates. I also HAD TO HAVE coffee ice cream every single night until the night before my son was born. My doctor freaked that I gained 7 pounds in 3 weeks. pfft….totally ignored her, kept gorging and had perfectly healthy baby.
Epidural = heaven.
21. Aprylsantics | December 20th, 2008 at 6:05 am
I gained 70 POUNDS with my first and did not give a damn. I was 220 by the time my daughter was born and I lost it all by the time my second was three. That includes 28 months of nursing them both (at different times, of course, and divided by two). Both my docs laughed when I cheered the scale at 200. They said as long as my blood pressure wasn’t affected and there was no gestational diabetes, what the hell. My sentiment exactly. Pregnancy was my e-ticket ride to eating whatever I wanted and it was AWESOME. I would have told Dr. Lollypop to kiss my gigantic pregnant butt. You go girl!
22. clickmom | December 20th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Had one in the hospital (surgically) and two at home with a midwife. Home birthing is way easier. Just had to say it.
My advice to any first mom is this: Go get a Bradley book and memorize it. The best thing about Bradley method is that if you really study it you will know exactly what is going on with your labor the whole time which makes it not so scary. And remember, no matter how she gets here the prize at the end is the same.
23. jonniker | December 20th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Clickmom, anyone who gives birth at home (like Jessica, above, has done multiple times) is my freakin’ HERO. I … I’m just too scared. Not of giving birth — oddly, birth doesn’t scare me — but of something going wrong, requiring me to go to the hospital anyway (my family has a storied history of harrowing births that done scared me right!). I know it’s not a guarantee of shit, but man, there is something about the comfort of a hospital and proximity to doctors makes me feel a little better about the what ifs, especially for my first.
Who knows? This could be the easiest thing ever for me and for my next kid, if there is one, I could set up a birthing pool in my living room! You never know!
24. Beth Fish | December 21st, 2008 at 12:55 pm
You are so little and twee that I may have to come up there and tuck you right into my pocket.
I gained 30 pounds with Mia and 50 with Owen and no medical person every said a thing to me about it. Except the one time I asked the nurse-midwife and she said “Maybe that is just what this pregnancy needs.” And then I gave her my car.
25. Jess | December 22nd, 2008 at 6:54 am
You look great, I hate that doctor, and this is exactly what I want–a midwife who attends a birth at a hospital. With drugs.
26. Kristabella | December 22nd, 2008 at 8:39 am
You are so cute! You look great!
I would be the same way with a mid-wife because yes! Drugs, please!
But from other blogs I read, it sounds like they are all relatively nice. Glad it is working out for you. And I agree, pregnancy is one time you shouldn’t think about your weight. If baby wants a cheeseburger, you eat a cheeseburger. As opposed to me just wanting a cheeseburger and then eating three of them.
27. Mauigirl | December 23rd, 2008 at 8:44 am
The ob/gyn who scolded you about your weight is a jerk. Your picture shows you look perfect!
So glad you like the midwife!
28. credit repair vermont&hellip | December 6th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
credit repair vermont…
I wanted to commend the webmaster for running a great site….
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed