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You know what they say about Vermont! If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes!

I don’t know actually know if they say that about Vermont, but what I DO know is that they say it about the weather EVERYFREAKINGWHERE, and my did you know that? Did you know that saying is not just about where you live, and that, as it turns out, the weather is UNPREDICTABLE ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY?

Hmph. That sure does sound like I’m crabby, which I’m really not. It’s that I just read that statement about the Midwest/Pac Northwest/somewhere and I just about died, because I have lived many, many places up and down the eastern seaboard, and they say it about EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

Incidentally, it’s hard not to know what they say about Vermont, because it is likely along the lines of this: it’s cold. Like, colder than you’ve ever been. See also: snowy. Like, every day.

I know, too, that most of you throughout the country have been enduring similar weather, and while I hate to laugh, it has been a LITTLE funny watching everyone screech how they’re SO SICK OF SNOW, when we’ve been dealing with this since October and will likely be entrenched in it until May. So please, do not talk to me about being sick of snow, for while I am not yet sick of it (it’s pretty! and kind of quaint!), I know I will have endured much, much more than most of you by the time the winter — nay, SPRING — is out.

However, I will concede that Vermont, like Syracuse, is all over that shit when it comes to plowing, and despite getting the crap kicked out of us yesterday, by morning we were totally free and clear. There’s something to be said for being prepared, unlike, say, Seattle, where buses were driving off of highways because no one knew what to do, OMG PANIC SNOW WOOP WOOP WOOP.

So yeah. We have plows and salt trucks and EVERYONE has a four-wheel drive vehicle and/or snow tires and you guys who aren’t used to snow don’t. I get that. Whine away! But if you live in a snowy part of the country and are surprised? I … what? I AM MYSTIFIED BY YOU.

By the way, in light of all the snow we’re all getting, I am once again compelled to plug the world’s greatest boots: the Ugg Bandon which, while ugly, is the most functional, warm, comfortably waterproof boot I have ever worn in my life. It’s been FREEZING here, and we’ve had many, many feet of snow, and not once have my feets been anything but snuggled and dry. And while I hate to recommend anything overwhelmingly expensive (which these are, I know, especially for something hideous), they are worth it. But sadly, it appears to be … oh my God, in looking for a link for you, I discovered that the Bandon has been DISCONTINUED. WOE. So, uh, maybe the Summit?

WOE.

Speaking of Vermont, we attended a party on Saturday night wherein the hosts — clearly of the, uh, well-off sort — commissioned a few clydesdales to take guests on sleigh ride tours of their expansive twinkly-lit property, not unlike the White Witch in the Chronicles of Narnia. Yes, CLYDESDALES.

Vermont continues to amaze and befuddle me with its delightfully incongruous juxtaposition of simple living and glaring excess.

We’re in the final preparations for the holidays, which will be spent with my sister and parents, as we never have to juggle Adam’s family and mine which is, as I’ve mentioned, one of the many benefits of a mixed-faith marriage. I always get Christmas, even if it coincides with Hanukkah, as his family celebrates the holiday at Thanksgiving. Which is odd, I know, but … it’s their tradition.

My other parents are coming to visit us the weekend of New Year’s, and although Adam loves my family, you can bet by Sunday, Jan. 4, he will have reached Maximum In Law Capacity and will have made a significant dent in our now-meager alcohol cabinet. And he doesn’t drink, like, ever.

And with that, I hope you have a happy holiday. My Larry Bird birthday is on Thursday I mean SATURDAY, and it promises to be a good one, if only because it will be my last, if all goes well, before I have a wee sprout to help celebrate it with me. Hooray! And also, HOLY SHIT.

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah!

PS, if you’re still interested in getting free offsets for the holidays, I did get several more after my first batch ran out — there’s a little doohicky on my sidebar for the One Day campaign. Just click on it and huzzah! Free offsets for you!

*Snow Patrol. Again, killing myself over here with the pathetic, pathetic puns. Or whatever they are. Too tired and pregnant to think.

25 comments December 22nd, 2008